:') :D :') //JOKES THREAD// :D :') :') - Page 3

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SenpaiNOTICEME thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: tvnamratha

Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situations.'''

1. At movies:
"Hey ! What are you doing here ?"
Frustrated Guy : "I sell tickets in black here. Don't you know?"



2. In bus: A fat lady steps on my feet:
"Sorry did that hurt ?"
Frustrated Guy : "No not at all. I'm on local
anesthesia. Why don't you try again ?"



3. When woken up at midnight by a
call: "Sorry ! Were u sleeping ?"
Frustrated Guy : "Na ! I was doing research on
monkeys in Africa. You thought I was sleeping, u stupid fool ?"


""""
4. When someone calls on land-line n asks: "Where r u ?"
Frustrated Guy : "M in market with telephone around my neck !!"



5. When washing my car...
Neighbor: "Hey ! Are u washing ur car ?"
Frustrated Guy : "No, I m just watering it so that it grows into a big bus."

-''''''''


It was so 🤣🤣 I love Irony 😆😆😆
SenpaiNOTICEME thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#22

Originally posted by: pupumon

Fb purchased whattsapp in 19
billion.

Santa: le ham toh free mein hi download kar lete hain 😛


My pupu 😆😆😆
oiiinano thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#23
U Cute Sardars !!
SARDAR APNI SISTER KE SAATH BIKE PE JA RAHA THA.
BOY: OH! PAAJIj GIRLFRIEND K SAATH KAHA JA RAHE HO

SARDAR: OYE ! GIRLFRIEND HOGI TERI MERI TO SISTER HAI.

""'''''

Sardar ka Padosi Mar Gaya:
Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya?
Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi.
Sardar: Lo Batao,
Kitni Lambi Umar Hai. :-)



Sardar Ki Ma Ki Death Ho Gai,
Ek Saal Bad Sardar Ka Baap America Se Wapis Aya, Us Ne Pucha Teri Ma Kahan Hai,
Sardar Bola Woh To Pichlay Saal Hi Mar Gai Thi, Sardar Ka Baap Rone Laga Or Bola Kuttay,
Kaminay To Tune Mujhay Btaya Q Nhi, Sardar Bola-
Me Ne Socha Surprise DunGa..

''

Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says 'Hi, Main bol Raha Hoon'.
The other sardar replies 'Oye Kamaal Hai Yaar, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!'



SARDAR and HIS WIFE GOING 2 CITY IN AUTO...
DRIVER ADJUSTED MIRROR..
SARDARJI SHOUTED U R SEEING MY WIFE...

GO and SIT BACK I WILL DRIVE THE AUTO.

"""""""

Hospital me Nurse: Mubarak ho apke Ghar beta paida hua he!

Sardar: Wahe Guru! Kya Technology hai. Biwi yaha hospital me he aur beta ghar me paida hua hai.



1 bed pe 3 sardar so rahe the. Teeno ko jagah kam pad rahi thi.

ek sardar uth ke niche chala gaya. Toh dono sardar chillae

Vapas uper aaja ab jagah ho gai hai.



Waiter: Your Bill Sir !Santa : Take My Card...Waiter : But Sir, yeh toh aapki shaadi ka card hai !Santa : To Phir Baahar Kya Mazaak Me Likha Hai ?"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED"
Jaldi fwd karoMkt me Naya hai...
bokul thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Master Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#24
A young boy from Pune goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money he calls home.

"Pita ji," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad (IIMA) that will teach our dog, Moti, how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his father says. "How do I get Moti in that program?"

"Just send him down here with Rs. 1,00,000" the young boy says "and I'll get him in the course."

So, his father sends the dog and Rs. 1,00,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

"So how's Moti doing son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, Pita ji, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Moti in that program?"

"Just send Rs 2,00,000, I'll get him in the class."

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

"Where's Moti? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

"Pita ji," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Moti was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading The Economic Times, like he usually does. Then Moti turned to me and asked, so, is your father still messing around with that little pretty Champa who lives down the street?"

The father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Pita ji!"

"That's my boy!"

The kid went on to law school, and now serves in New Delhi as a Member of Parliament.
bokul thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Master Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#25
Santa lost his cheque booklet.

He decided to go to the bank after two days to report.

The Bank manager said to him, "But I warned you to be very careful with your cheque book because anyone can forge your signature."

Santa replied, "I am not a fool Sir, I have signed all the cheques already, so, they won't have space to forge my signature!"
bokul thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Master Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#26
Santa noticed that Banta was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.

"Well," said Banta, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Santa.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Santa. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"

"Yeah," said Banta, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"
bokul thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Master Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#27
A visitor to Santa, "Which is Mr Banta's flat?"

Santa: Please come with me.

The visitor is taken on stairs to the 3rd floor.

The visitor rings the bell and there is no response. He rings it again and again and still no one answers.

Visitor: I think he is not in.

Santa: Yeah, he has gone out. He'll be back in the evening!
bokul thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Master Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#28
Ek aadmi apne dost ke ghar gya. Door-bell bajane pe Pappu bahar aaya.

Aadmi: Beta apne papa ko bulao.

Pappu: Ji wo nahi hai, wo bazar gye hain.

Aadmi: Achcha toh bade bhai ko bulao.

Pappu: Wo apne dosto ke saath cricket khelne gya hai.

Aadmi: Achcha aapki mummy to ghar par hongi...??

Pappu: Nahi, wo apni saheliyon ke saath picnic par gyi hain.

Aadmi irritate ho kar gusse mein bola: Abe toh tu akela ghar pe kya kar rha hai tu bhi kahin chala jata?

Pappu: Haan, tabhi to main yahan apne dost ke ghar aaya hun...!!!
taaniroyal thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 11 years ago
#29
If 'muuaah' is a Kiss..:* Then... . . . . . . . . . . . 'Kalmuuaah' is promise to kiss tomorrow...!!


this one awlaa
Sexylicious. thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 11 years ago
#30
Here is a really funny one



Mahamanga is a FAIRY

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