:') :D :') //JOKES THREAD// :D :') :') - Page 2

Just Chill ______________
Wife: Can u help me in the gardening ?

Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener ?

Wife: Can u fix the door handle ?

Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter ?

In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.

Husband: Who did all this ?

Wife: Our neighbour.
But he gave me 2 options...
Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.

Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger.

Wife: What do u think I am...McDonalds ?!!

Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situations.'''

1. At movies:
"Hey ! What are you doing here ?"
Frustrated Guy : "I sell tickets in black here. Don't you know?"



2. In bus: A fat lady steps on my feet:
"Sorry did that hurt ?"
Frustrated Guy : "No not at all. I'm on local
anesthesia. Why don't you try again ?"



3. When woken up at midnight by a
call: "Sorry ! Were u sleeping ?"
Frustrated Guy : "Na ! I was doing research on
monkeys in Africa. You thought I was sleeping, u stupid fool ?"


""""
4. When someone calls on land-line n asks: "Where r u ?"
Frustrated Guy : "M in market with telephone around my neck !!"



5. When washing my car...
Neighbor: "Hey ! Are u washing ur car ?"
Frustrated Guy : "No, I m just watering it so that it grows into a big bus."

-''''''''

Mindblowing...

1st yr MBBS students were attending their 1st anatomy class. They all gathered around the table with real dead body. The professor started the class by telling them two important qualities as a doctor. The 1st is that never be disgusted about anything regarding the body e.g. he inserted his finger in the body's nose & on drawing back, put the finger in his own mouth & tasted it. Then he told the students to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's nose & tasted it. When everyone finished the professor looked at them & said :The most important 2nd quality is Observation. I inserted my middle finger but tasted the index finger. Now learn to pay attention

All students : shittt !!
'''

IMPROVE YOUR G.K.

1. National Sister- Mamta Banerjee

2. National Girlfriend- Sunny Leone

3. National Tension- Salman Khan's Marriage

4. National Bachelor- Rahul Gandhi

5. National Dehshat- Sequel of Ra.One

6. National food- Kasam

7. National Struggler- Abhishek Bachchan

8. National Judge- Archana Puran Singh

9. National Mom- Sonia Gandhi

10. National Jamaai- Robert Vadra

11. National Book- Face Book

12. National Robot-Manmohan Singh

13. Natonal Bank- Swiss Bank

14. National God- Sachin Tendulkar

15. National Show- Comedy Nights with Kapil

16. National Tiger- Narendra Modi

17: National Time Pass:
Whatsapp

Amul - The taste of India

Babool - The paste of India

Rahul Gandhi- The waste of India.""
Modi- the best of india..
Sonia- The guest of India..'
Jo jeete wo sikandar,
Jo haare wo jail ke andar,
Jo ye msg sabko bheje usko jadu ki jhappi,
aur Jo na bheje usko.
"Asaram bapu"ki pappi.
soch lo ab...''''
Market ma naya hai aga frwd karo

If u sneez once, thnk im remembrng u,


If u sneez twice, thnk i want 2 meet u,


Sneez 3rd,i'm misng u badly.


Sneez 4th tym-Im FINE u take tablets;'

Papa- "Whom u like more mama or papa?

Kid-Both

Papa- No tell me 1?

Kid- Both

Papa- If i go to America & Ur mother go to Paris
Whr will u go?

Kid- Paris

Papa- It means u like ur mother?

Kid- No, coz paris is beautiful than America

Papa- If i go to paris & Ur mother goes to america so Whr will u go?

Kid- America

Papa- why?

Kid- Paris to ghum aaye na papa

Papa-
.'''''
""""""""

Tchr : Murgiyo" ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Kid ka Asardaar reply : Sir, agar murgiyo" ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na.

""""""""


Teacher- 'Chand par pehla kadam" kisne rakha?
Pappu-NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher- Aur doosra "?



Pappu- doosra" bhi usi ne rakha hoga ...Langdi khelne thodi gaya tha woh!!!!'
""""""""

Originally posted by: rima4ever

does the joke has to be related to ja show only ?

Originally posted by: ..Tahniat..

Sharriffuddin is handsome 🤣

real joke..

Nice thread, Tenzin 👍🏼

Fb purchased whattsapp in 19
billion.

Santa: le ham toh free mein hi download kar lete hain 😛