The real gift outshines the shiny one! - Page 13

Originally posted by: deejagi

As you rightly said, it is like the first child syndrome only. When you have pampered your first child for long years ( 3-7) as the sole attraction of your attention and love, all of a sudden you dump the child for your second child and shower all you love on that, the first child will ultimately feel jealous of the second child though it is not the second childs mistake. The first child will end up hurt the second child in the absence of the parents and will play innocent. If you don't prepare the childs mind to welcome the forthcoming child, the result willbe disaster. The child might grow agrressive or go introvert.

Just imagine while a mother expecting her second child, either th efather or mother keeps teasing the child or provoking the child in the name of coming child how will the first child develop the feelings for the second child or t be more precise if the mother was not ready for the second child (content with the first) and by force from family plan forthe second, she will start filling the childs mind with all her hatred for the second child least she would have thought that everything was recorded in the childs mind non-erasable disk and as the pregnancy grows, teh mother will start feeling for her second child as well and expect the first child to accept the new comer open heartedly.

Jalal did the same thing with Ruqu. He made her the competiter of Jodha by provoking her to take up Chess game to humiliate Jodha, He gave mansabdari to Jodha's brothers and claimed that he did it to watch them bow to him (when Ruqu asked for the reason), he had told her he had married Jodha to avenge his revenge on Jodha. So what do we expect Ruqaiya to feel than what she feels now, betreyed by her husband / friend who is going back on his promises.

Had he told her that he married jodha as he was attracted to her ( in the initial days only), she would ahve come to terms with that only. She share a cordiel relationship with Salima Begum and that is teh example that she can still care and respect people.

Originally posted by: shanry

I'm very sorry if my post upsets anyone because that is truly not my intenion, but I sincerely cannot understand all this sympathy for ruku coz jalal said jodha's gift is better than ruks:

1. its not a competition - its gift giving, the point is in giving the gift whole heartedly and not in wanting your gift to be the best;

2. how is saying "ruks gift is the best gift ever" any different from saying "jodha's gift is better than even ruks"? Obviously nobody had any issues with Jalal's first declaration and how that statement may have hurt all others who had given him a gift that day, including his mom and his other wife, Salima.

3. its time the spoilt little rich girl grew up - Ruks needs to realise the world doesn't revolve around the harem in agra and jalal's world does not revolve around her

granted jalal could have been more diplomatic but he would probably think that as being unfair to jodha since he had no qualms about declaring ruks' gift's worth to him, it would be wrong to not acknowledge, also in public, jodha's gift's value to him.

Nothing that happened yesterday warranted ruks' tantrum, certainly not to the scale as portrayed. i am merely more convinced that I pity her her bad upbringing but I dislike her all the same

Originally posted by: skanda12

But Ela, I also felt that it was necessary somehow for him to speak to her in that way, because the longer he tried to soft-pedal the issue, the longer she will be in that state of non-acceptance of anyone else in his life! She needed to grow up some time, and better this shock comes now than later?

Did you see she is not just jealous of Jodha but also of Salima after he consulted her? She cannot be like this in a polygamous marriage, she has to be able to accept the score, na?

I feel its like this family where the first child is unable to accept the second or third child in the family. The parents will at first try to understand, but then they have to be firm at some point or that first child will never accept the siblings!

Originally posted by: ginco

Ela , what i feel here is that he was firm and honest with her and was trying to show her the reality ...he was not rude ...he gave her an example of two sides of river and asked her to co-exist with jodha and also told her in advance his current state of mind , even before she asked her and then again when she inquired that would this reduce her importance in his life , he reassured her again and asked her to take care ...

If he would have been rude he would not be standing so close and even kissed her , see being rude or angry are very strong emotions and mostly us, humans would have in it our eyes before voicing it , its like the sound of thunder that we hear before the lightening itself ... look at jalal's yes closely in tht scene , he was very honest and truthful and concerned about her ...

And also look into ruqu eyes , you would find glimpse of jealousy and fear , which clearly state tht she did not buy his assurance .

Kashi

Originally posted by: elasingh

mansi plz see I think Ruku is jealous and insecre...again she doesnt really respect ppl...she like MA,BK and others wants Jallu to rule by sword...she doesn't even care for his praja...

It was absolutely necessary for jallu to make her understand this...but she wont understand...trust me...ulta she will be more mad...she has become even more insecure than before...

Like Kashi pointed that she might become vulnerable to negative forces...like MA...

Ruku is not going to give up without a bad fight mansi...Trust me...

Originally posted by: shanry

I'm very sorry if my post upsets anyone because that is truly not my intenion, but I sincerely cannot understand all this sympathy for ruku coz jalal said jodha's gift is better than ruks:

1. its not a competition - its gift giving, the point is in giving the gift whole heartedly and not in wanting your gift to be the best;

2. how is saying "ruks gift is the best gift ever" any different from saying "jodha's gift is better than even ruks"? Obviously nobody had any issues with Jalal's first declaration and how that statement may have hurt all others who had given him a gift that day, including his mom and his other wife, Salima.

3. its time the spoilt little rich girl grew up - Ruks needs to realise the world doesn't revolve around the harem in agra and jalal's world does not revolve around her

granted jalal could have been more diplomatic but he would probably think that as being unfair to jodha since he had no qualms about declaring ruks' gift's worth to him, it would be wrong to not acknowledge, also in public, jodha's gift's value to him.

Nothing that happened yesterday warranted ruks' tantrum, certainly not to the scale as portrayed. i am merely more convinced that I pity her her bad upbringing but I dislike her all the same

Originally posted by: sun29

if Jalal had said all the gift are important to him ..ruqaiyya would still have thrown a tantrum and fired him...we all know that by now...she refuses to see herself in par with anyone...she sees herself as superior and that is what i dislike about her..her absolute necessity to demean and belittle everyone and anyone ...i felt Jalal's statement of comparing gifts wrong ..even his declaring ruqaiyya gift the best was equally wrong ...what was the need for such declaration at all...

but then i can assume he was overwhelmed with what jodha did for him..hence his emotional overflow...the same happened when she had wrote the poem for his child ...he was soo moved...

i loved the episode ..it was so touching and the best was the soul talk and them thinking about the other and their whole conversation ...

Mansi loved your analysis...and as someone said ruqaiyya needs to grow up...maybe she will by the time all this ends

i loved Jalal's firm stand in the last scene before her..not that she is convinced but am happy he was honest