understanding Jodha with kindness

This is the first post I made on IF...in november. A friend dug it up...since a lot has happened in Ja-Jo's life since November...it is time to write part 2...soon. Thanks for your comments. Love, Cleo

Expression via writing is not my forte but I will make my first brave attempt today

I'll write about my understanding of Jodha's character.

Her character gets criticized a lot especially for not being nice to our favorite emperor Jalal...Id love to see her soften towards Jalal... He is really trying hard to make her happy but when I try to see things from her perspective...I can understand some of her behavior and feel that she does not deserve the merciless criticism that she sometimes gets subjected to.

First of all, Jalal has already started his journey towards becoming Akbar the Great. Very few rulers in history had the qualities this man was blessed with. No wonder he is almost always on every top 10 greatest rulers in the world list. We have seen glimpses of his greatness in his recent acts of kindness wih Jodha. Jodha is also exceptional in her own way but no one claims that she was Jodha the great...She was a real woman like us...It is unfair to hold them to the same standards. She will probably show less maturity and make more mistakes than Jalal.

My second point, certain personality traits occur in clusters...I understand this because of my own training in Psychiatry as well as some recent discussions with my friends who have extensive experience in behavioral health and psychoanalysis. Jodha's character has been shown to be extremely honest, straightforward, righteous and courageous. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She does what she thinks is right without fearing the consequences. I can think of two instances right now...1. She didn't think twice about facing her father's wrath in public (her fianc Suryabhan was there as well) when she saved Abdul. Standing up for a Mughal spy against Rajputs in a Rajput kingdom needed guts. Rulers those days didn't shy away from punishing family members for showing defiance in public. Thankfully Suryabhan supported her. Don't tell me that her father wouldn't have punished her... He did ultimately sacrifice her for the kingdom.2. Again, she faced everybody's wrath after the tiger incident by telling them that she emptied Jalal's gun ...She didn't have to...Had Jalal died...nobody would have known...But she would have been subjected to severe humiliation and death sentence for causing his death... However, had he recovered...she could have just pretended to be too distraught to mention all the details. She also did her best to save his life despite knowing there was a good chance that he may in fact punish her harshly when he gains consciousness.

Most people would have stayed silent on both the occasions. People with such positive traits like Jodha here often also have some other traits which are often perceived as negative...these people are often too rigid, stubborn and are less forgiving...Their standards are high and so are their expectations...look around us... People who are very loyal, honest and straightforward have a more difficult time dealing with betrayal. They also take more time to forgive...Jodha belongs to a certain personality type and cannot be expected to have just the positive traits and no negative ones. To me, this explains some of her behavior.

Thirdly, in any relationship...when a person feels helpless, they often become more vocal. They feel the need to repeat things in order to get their point across. On the contrary, the person who has more control in the relationship does not need to say a whole lot...Jalal clearly has more control here...He can make her do almost anything...he just chooses not to...We have seen a reversal as well...Jalal clearly felt helpless after her suicide attempt. He said a lot more than he usually does. He actually repeated his 'nafrat' dialogue...

Forthly, Jodha does not have the advantage of knowing that Jalal is on his way to become the great man Akbar...How does she know that he will not become Aurangzeb...I have no words to describe how I feel when I read comments like: her life would be so much easier if she is nice to Jalal...Or why doesn't she want Jalal to touch her...why is she making that night in the tent such a big deal... I have one advice for these writers...Please make an attempt to find a woman around you who has been a victim of forced marriage or marital rape and has to live in a house which is full of hostile relatives...Talk to her and you will get your answer. Being subjected to these things can cause huge emotional trauma and loss of self-esteem in women. It is easy for us to expect these women to think rationally and calmly. Somehow, it doesn't happen that way in real life. In Jodha's case , except in a few instances, she does her best to appear all strong in front of Jalal. She probably thinks that he will gloat if he sees the effect of the trauma he has been able to inflict on her psyche. She does not want him to enjoy her helplessness and loss of self-esteem. So, she goes overboard and attacks his ego with the choicest words from Hindi dictionary. I am sure that some married women will relate to this strange behavior.

I love Jalal's character. His recent selfless acts for Jodha's have to be appreciated. I'd love to see them happy together and start their journey towards bringing Salim in their world. I am trying to understand other factors that may contribute to her hesitation in surrendering completely to Jalal. This woman has gone through hell...She is surrounded by a lot of people who are looking for an opportunity to hurt her. She has been subjected to humiliation repeatedly. She has witnessed seeing her family go through hell as well. Please watch the scary older episodes again to refresh your memory.

Is she oblivious to the change in Jalal's behavior towards her...or his acts of kindness? I think she is very much aware of it...his admiration and attention must have made her life easier in Agra...She is smart enough to understand that .Then why is she not responding...or letting him come close to her...Is she being stubborn and stupid...maybe...How about fear? She knows that Jalal is attracted to her. He is trying to woo her. However, she doesn't know that Jalal desires an emotional bond with her as well (he doesn't know that either). People close to Jalal have also told her that once he sleeps with her, she will no longer be special and will be treated like discarded furniture. I find it hard to believe that this statement has not registered somewhere subconsciously in her mind. I don't think that she is shrewd or manipulative and doing anything deliberately. But subconsciously this fear of further humiliation by the harem vamps when she is a nobody' may be stopping her. She is not shown to be a rude person... She is respectful towards everyone...even the baandi's ...then why Jalal...Is this a defense mechanism kicking in...Being used for one time pleasure and then discarded is a woman's worst nightmare...Does this young inexperienced girl think that he will lose his desire to be physically close to her and leave her alone without touching her if she treats him badly...maybe...is that true...no way!

I understand... at the end of a long day, we all want to relax and see something positive on television...This is actually a very good human trait as it reflects the fact that we feel better when we see other people happy and in love ( thank God for that) but it is unfair to bash a character when that does not happen...We see Jalal softening towards Jodha and the hopeless romantic in us wants her to start responding in the next episode...we get agitated when she continues with her rude behavior...If nothing that I have written above helps justify her reaction...Please bash the CV's and not the character. The real Jodha does not deserve it

If someone criticizes me after 500 years for something I never did ... I don't care... But whatever little we know about this Rajput queen Jodha/Heer Kunwer/Harka Bai , she must be getting restless in her grave. After living in Agra harem for 60 years, she deserves peace... Let's give her that.