arshi ff: without you... #2, chapters 14 - 27 **completed**

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cheesemad

@cheesemad

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#161

Lovely update.

I just loved it when Khushi took the first step towards their intimacy this time:)

Continue soon:D

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#162

hi komal,

thank you so much... she makes the first move, somehow it seemed right in the context... glad you liked. hoping to update next weekend.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#163

Originally posted by: wiwy
Khushi's first film Hum dil de Chuke Sanam is one of my fav films. Love the songs, the costumes, the romance, the judai! All that is there in your story too In di! I love your fantasies. They are eclectic, erotic, playful, hilarious, and yet you get the feel that the glass is not yet full, there is more to look forward to because like you said something is missing. Nothing is really, it is just your desire to delve more and more into the characters, and I know it gives you a satisfaction nothing else can. So carry on, thanks for sharing Indi 🤗

Btw How much is he charging for stubble touching? PM please! 😛

ha ha ha ha... i had to majorly google to zero in on hum dil de chuke sanam... the timeing had to be right, she had to be 8. i was six when my mom took me along to see suraj... 1966, thought khushi's ma can't be that diff... what. when i read it was based on maitreyi devi's nahannate... i got goosebumps... one of my mother's favourite books... from that word i learned the meaning of soul.. that which will not be destroyed even by fire.

if something were not missing would i be here? or maybe i would, just to find something i was meant to... eclectic ha, hmmm, um... ok. 😃

for you wiwy, he's thought of a really heavy price... oh you'll enjoy paying it. 😆

Edited by indi52 - 11 years ago

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LibranAngel

@libranangel

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#164

Indi...indi...indi...

It was 10:44 on a saturday morning when I started reading this FF...its 3:07 on a sunday when I've completed all chapters so far (blaming asli duniya for the delay) but reading this has made one thing clear to me...you are now officially one of my favorite writers on this forum alongwith Meera and Juhi (expel).

You have drawn me in, got me hooked (so much that my husband is worried about my current state), made me cry, made me laugh...made me feel!!!

I feel that my journey through this wonderful world of Arshi has come a full circle cause the first FF I read was Careless Whispers by Meera and it pained me to read Arnav hurting over his wife in coma. And now you put Arnav in the same condition and I've just been swept away with this feeling of loss.

I've always told Meera in my comments that her words are Magic but today I feel compelled to tell you that. Indi darling your words are truly MAGIC! Any story that can make you feel every moment of it, every word, every line, every silence, every sound, every tear, every laugh, every high, every low, every hurt, every song...every second...you know is a true masterpiece. And when you come across something like this, you know you are in the presence of genius.

I'm not going to give you any suggestions on the story or things I think you should include cause this is your story and only you have the right to either shock us or surprise us. But I am however going to tell you the things I absolutely adored.

1. "The hush of her lashes when it fell on her cheek"...god I didn't know there was a sound for that. How poetic and totally befitting of this pair.

2. Khushi shutting door and jumping out the window...you had me in splits cause I could actually picture her doing that.

3. All their intimate scenes...it shows that it's coming from someone mature, who undertands every nuance of writing such scenes. Who understands every emotion the mind and soul goes through when in the moment. You are probably one of the best I've read.

4. How well you mix fact and fiction...yes I said fact...cause the original Arnav-Khushi story to me will always be fact. But your twist on the situation behind or preceeding those scenes are simply brilliant.

5. Lastly, this is more about you...the interest you take in your readers and replying to almost every if not all comments. Speechless.

thank you Indi...for bringing us this piece of magic. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this journey and rest assured that wherever this path leads, I will blindly follow.

I bow down to you and your incredible gift!

p.s. I'm sorry if you don't find my name in the likes part in some chapters...my stupid phone wasn't letting me do it.

P.p.s...I may edit this some more if I remember the rest of the things I have to tell you.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#165

libranangel, hi,

what can i say. i am completely speechless and breathless at this comment you leave behind. i am also madly honoured and wondering how possibly could i be deserving of this.

you are right, everything in ipk is fact, even when i have disagreed. that was a place and a feeling like no other. there are days i actually ache to see asr and khushi. the only recourse is to turn to old episodes. which is what we do on a thread called blast from the past. i have never felt like this about any show, on tv or movie, high, low or medium brow.

the fact that i write something called fan fiction at all is really a tribute to the original... and all involved in making it.

but what you write about my words, i am still sitting, and shaking my head, not yet daring to smile.

terribly happy you felt things... if words do not make you touch places within, they seem a bit empty.

and delighted you like the intimate bits, their love making, their sensual and sexual connection. i keep thinking it's fairly easy to write these things, but making it specific to these two people, that's where lies the challenge and the inordinate fun of it... so i try.

i have not read too much fan fiction, but i think i have seen meera's work... will try and read the two you mention here. had no idea khushi was in a coma... that must have been very interesting... i can't imagine what asr must have gone through...

i thank you hugely for every word, i must say it is quite amazing how solid and marked the characters are... i always talk to them when i write, if something feels not quite right, it gets dropped, the characters seem to have a mind of their own... that khushi jumping out of the window... i was at the point where they are both standing at the door face to face with each other. my mind said, now what. and i saw her shutting the door and running, leaping through the window, mojri in hand... crazy.

thanks for reading and saying you'll trust me with this and go where i go. a reader's trust is a precious thing. i do hope i don't take weird turns.

actually, i am still finding it hard to breathe after what you say... thing is, i love writing, and my obsession with ipk has meant i have written constantly this past year and a bit more. helped me centre, helped me know exactly how much i enjoy words and their power, i was pushed into writing fiction by a friend, i was not sure, not at all, but as i got into it... oh it is another world and it is nurturing, and endlessly fascinating.

i look forward to seeing you... sorry for the incoherent response... all your fault.😆

i do try to answer all comments... seems fair. plus i love meeting people.

and please do not worry about not hitting like. i won't lie, i used to frantically count when i started... then i realised i have some of the sweetest readers and there's too much joy in writing to worry about numbers. welcome to "without you," thank you for making me feel so good about writing it... and most of all for having such a good times. oh our poor husbands.

Edited by indi52 - 11 years ago

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supriya

@supriya.arshi

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#166

you did explore Khushi thoughts well 👏

it was truly upto the mark...perfectly kept in line nd written in a spectacular manner ⭐️
tht entire part from wher he carries her to the lounge nd rocks her till ...they make love...nd she finds solace in him ...😳 truly beautiful...it has to be one of the best parts

her first movie was HDDCS...aw a nice movie

Anjali went straight to Dr.Verma...hope she finds a good man in him 😊

i just din get one thing ...Arnav wants to go bck to Sheesh mahal to find out wat??? nd Anjali is curious abt Khushi's parents...she has a gut feeling tht somethin terrible is happening nd Khushi is cryin ...

Aww i hope they a hav a bit of good time before they hav problems to face again hope they hav no problems at all...

are you bringing in a different story...lik a complete mystery whn go they go bck Sheesh Mahal...the big haveli full of secrets??? if so it'll be interestin 😉

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#167

hi supriya,

thanks so much... i haven't seen hddcs, you know. looked up google to find missy a good movie to start her obsession with 😆.

you liked the lounger thingie, haan?me too.

ah anjali has seen snake and heard the insinuations he ,makes about sheesh mahal and khushi's parents, she has felt a strange empathy with the girl he was fooling, something tells her all is not well. she knows snake very well, she senses something...

arnav wants to find out about that thing snake said perhaps about khushi's parents... and maybe he feels something needs to be found out... he has always avoided sheesh mahal, just coming over to get it from his uncle and maybe a couple of times on work, but whenever he is there he wants to get away after a bit... he can't atke it.

sheesh mahal is a haveli, i always felt it had all sorts of stories in it... i would like to find out more.

but we shall take it easy... there has to be some respite from tension, i fully agree. 😆 otherwise i'd have to jump out of a window and run away like khushi.

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IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#168

Khushi in the throes of passion is whipping up much khushi in me, Indus!! Loved every bit of her desire and feeling. Such an essential component this, to "lovemaking" in the truest sense and yet, girls are conditioned into believing it's all about what the Man wants. Your telling is compelling... her notions, suna-sunaya, of "sex" and how they are reinvented with a wonderful sensitive giving man like the Raizada is simply gorgeous. Wow, to be with a man like that...i won't let you drown, you won't let me drown...stunning thought!
...And Anjali going over to meet Dr Verma...the girls are in action mode i say!

Loved the description of 'Tsering' on the ramp...nice touch, Naga model...and the man standing, feet apart, head tilted to one side, hands deep in pockets...this man makes standing around sexy!!

Enjoyed reading. Am really out of it these days so maafi for incoherence.. But had to come and read some...oh yeah that felt good! Mojri in hand, must run now and get some sleep. Neela daant hopefully in sapna all night.

Thanks Indus - splendid writing aapka.
And the edit is the stuff goosebumps are made of.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#169

hey isskiya,

thanks, sir. 🤗 me tired of ladkiyan being done to rather than doing. he he.

that tsering was a minx today, insisted she had to turn and look the man straight in the eyes and smile. the fact that she's the opposite of me physically, hmmm makes me think there's some deep or very shallow psycho reason indi made her up.

glad you like the bold khushi ji... after a year and a half of finding out what the real thing, the s word, is all about, i am glad she is not being sweet and shy thinking that's what girls must be. nothing against sweet nor shy, but there is a time and place for everything.

you are sounding frazzled, hassled, end of tetherish... for a while. anything this nacheez can do? maybe get you a window to leap through?

Edited by indi52 - 11 years ago

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Preety_Nebula

@Preety_Nebula

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#170

Originally posted by: indi52

awww, goofy, you enjoyed?

which rocking part? where where? sheesh mahal by and by. happy to pm. happier to see your bright blue here.

Come On Di the part where he is rocking her...are you teasing me?Me love it .I read three times that part.My shonu loves her shoo much.Thanks.😊