| Promise Me | ArHi OS - Page 6

Originally posted by: IronButterfly

This is in ways - beautiful, yet terribly sad. When she asked him to promise her all those things - I teared up a bit. [ The foremost reason being, I was imagining ROA's Arnav in a similar position, and it was not very nice thinking on that note. ] Anyhow, I adore the way you've started the piece - the play of light on his face by the CFL, its somehow very creative, I think. I don't think I have ever said this before but strangely enough you write Arnav best at his vulnerable side. That frame of mind of his emotes the most, makes us cry and smile sadly.

i would believe that both baby and khushi is ok

An emotional narration and an ending for us to decide. I love the details and how even after you've ended there's apprehension. It's beautiful and so dreadful! :-)

Oh God.

That was so raw and so poignant. It's not long, but every single line is heavy with volatile, suppressed emotion and dear lord I felt it all. I could picture the whole scene in my head, with him sitting outside the OT with only the echoes of everything that had passed before for company. It's haunting. And that's what is all felt like to me, her words, the promises she asked of him, the images of her talking and smiling through tears which may as well have been the last moments he sees her alive...oh man, my heart hurts and it's painful and I can't even fathom what Arnav must be going through, what Khushi had been going through as she placed their daughter before her own life with such a brave face...it's a damn good thing I came back to my room before reading this because I'm in tears, yet again, from the pure human emotion your writing never fails to evoke in me

Oh, and I don't think you mentioned Khushi's name in there, but to me, that woman that Arnav loves with so much desperation and who can smile even in the face of what she's going through, who worries about her husband and her child even in this situation, embodies Khushi in my mind

The fragility of Arnav's emotions, the rise of these conflicted feelings as he hears his child breathe her first, it shows rather than tells how he must have been feeling about the birth of his daughter and the fact that it might come at the cost of his wife. There is no black and white here, nothing easy, and all of that complexity was emoted in this OneShot

And I am so glad you ended the story where you did, because it lets the reader keep the hope that Arnav is holding on to throughout the story and pray that his love is enough to bring her back to him. And as a hearty supporter of happy endings I would happily cling to that hope for all three of them. Beautiful writing, Rae :)

PS : I'm so sorry for the late comment

The best kind of writing, I feel, is the one where the writer leaves the end to the readers imagination. It's more fun, playing out different scenario's in your head and fitting in one as whim commands. This ending reminds me of another short story with the same sort of ending (leaving 'em hanging kind), and the uproar which had been caused when the readers demanded to know what happened and the writer said "I don't know"

Originally posted by: vfordonkey

The best kind of writing, I feel, is the one where the writer leaves the end to the readers imagination. It's more fun, playing out different scenario's in your head and fitting in one as whim commands. This ending reminds me of another short story with the same sort of ending (leaving 'em hanging kind), and the uproar which had been caused when the readers demanded to know what happened and the writer said "I don't know"

Great to see you posting again.

Originally posted by: AngelTeen

Thank You! :)

And may I know which story was this?

Originally posted by: vfordonkey

Oh, this was an old story by a Bengali writer (The name of the story and the author's name both evade me right now). However, I do know that Mrinal Sen, the director, made a movie on it. If you want, I can PM you the basic gist of the plot...