arshi ff: without you... thread #1, chapters 1-13 **completed**

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#781

anita,

liked anjali mo and the lovemaking? me happy.

why is shyam back...why? to get what he desrves of course 😆 laddoo pede and a mighty dhulai. but really, without snake the garden of eden would not be half as exciting... he is the ultimate cupidwa ha ha ha hyuk.

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IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#782

Indus - divine update!

The intimacy was WOW. My favorite specifics... ❤️ he nibbled at the pompoms ❤️ Dupatta landed on the waistcoat ❤️ The room grew dark as they kissed! Uffly done!

Also loved Mami sitting silently...lovely, your words on her relationship with the bitwa...then kissing his hand without a fuss...fine fine moment!

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#783

thanks so much, issk.

i liked the points you chose to mention... they made me feel good while writing. i also sat with anjali on that sofa through that night, and stood at the door with doctor verma watching the pagal family, and wondered why it felt good to see ms raizada jump up upon seeing me.

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IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#784

Originally posted by: indi52
thanks so much, issk.

i liked the points you chose to mention... they made me feel good while writing. i also sat with anjali on that sofa through that night, and stood at the door with doctor verma watching the pagal family, and wondered why it felt good to see ms raizada jump up upon seeing me.

The Anjali-Arnav bit...honestly, am not feeling it yet. Wasn't wanna bring it up but now that you have, will just say it...cos it's you dammit...the relationship feels overrefined to me. It's a personal taste thing i guess. Will wait till i can feel for her!

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IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#785

Originally posted by: indi52
thanks so much, issk.

i liked the points you chose to mention... they made me feel good while writing. i also sat with anjali on that sofa through that night, and stood at the door with doctor verma watching the pagal family, and wondered why it felt good to see ms raizada jump up upon seeing me.

EDIT: Sorry, to have to bear with it TWICE! I rewrote cos i thought it didn't go through the first time...

The sister-brother thing...honestly, am not feeling it yet. Wasn't gonna bring it up cos it's a personal taste thing but now that you have, will just say it...cos it's you dammit... There are some nice bits from childhood but overall, the relationship feels overrefined to me. Will wait till i can feel it more...

Edited by IssPKaur - 12 years ago

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#786

issk,

not an issue at all. i just felt like telling you. because it's you dammit. 😆

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#787

fresh off my keyboard and dil... maybe dimaag too, a part of the next chapter... just leaving it here in case you feel like reading.

she remembered the fights, practically ever night. pita ji's voice rising, sharp, rebuking, cutting. sobs from maa sometimes, sometimes just a quiet resolved tone. they could never hear the words clearly... just feel the night voices ricocheting against their hearts. the din reaching above the music. pita ji liked listening to classical music, western, hindustani, sometimes music from south america... there had to be something playing every night... no matter how late he'd come home.

fear and a suffocation would fill her. she'd clutch chhotey, often awake and listening just like her, and soothe, "so jao... sab theek hai, everything is ok..."

she remembered a night when the disagreement had reached a more violent pitch. she was alone in her room, sixteen or seventeen at that time. she had tried to drown the noise out with a pillow over her ears, her heart was pounding, her feet itched to run and break down the door and somehow reach maa... she couldn't breathe. chhotey walked in from his room, sat by her, removed the pillow and held her hand with his, he looked into her eyes and said, "di... di, it's ok, it's ok... don't worry, it will be alright, main sab theek kar doonga..."

when did you grow up so much, she thought tearfully as she looked at chhotey sleeping now. the coma was over, she couldn't believe it, was he really back?

when she saw khushi ji sitting quietly at the temple praying to devi maiyya, she'd come into the room to be with him alone for a few minutes. it was almost 11 at night, she'd better get to bed. she stroked his hair and was about to turn, when his eyes opened all of a sudden and he looked at her. what was that in his eyes?

why ... "chhotey?" she bent down urgently, but not before he'd sat up and thrown his arms around her waist, burying his head against her. "di..." his voice was hoarse, "maa..."

he needed to tell her about his mother, he had seen her after so so long, yet he had no idea what words to use, how to speak about it. are there end points of time? does one ever get to cross them? where was maa? where was he? but they were both there that's all that he knew...

maa? anjali held her brother tight. she remembered her feeling of maa in the kitchen earlier in the day. she held him tighter. and the tears came.

when khushi walked in, she found them like that. she felt her own feelings rise and overwhelm her once more. three orphans in a room struggling to take on every responsibility of life, no one who's never been to that place will ever know how it feels not to have even one parent. and that too from a time they were so young.

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Crazy4IPK

@Crazy4IPK

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#788

amazing!

Loved how you showed the eternal bonding of Arnav and Anjali in this chapter. How impatiently a seven years old Anjali waited for his little brother'r birth and from that day she muffled her chotey like a mother. Absolutely wonderful!

Khushi felt a bit insecure when Arnav talked to La, like the way Arnav got jealous to see NK hugged Khushi. It's natural. La was his ex, though she knows Arnav never loved La and La is an innocuous soul.

First I was a bit confused at Arnav and Khushi's romantic encounter. When Khushi pushed him back, then i realized that it was before their marriage when Arnav was in a relationship with La. Khushi's conscious couldn't let him go further. But what Arnav could do, cause the pull and the attraction was so visceral! your description of the hot romance was magical, giving me goose bumps throughout. And I read the part twice.😳

Just waiting to see Anajli and Dr. Verma's love to bloom

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Crazy4IPK

@Crazy4IPK

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#789

Just read what you wrote above.

The expression of divine relationship of this orphan siblings made my eyes blurry.

so sublime!

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#790

Originally posted by: sohara
amazing!
Loved how you showed the eternal bonding of Arnav and Anjali in this chapter. How impatiently a seven years old Anjali waited for his little brother'r birth and from that day she muffled her chotey like a mother. Absolutely wonderful!

Khushi felt a bit insecure when Arnav talked to La, like the way Arnav got jealous to see NK hugged Khushi. It's natural. La was his ex, though she knows Arnav never loved La and La is an innocuous soul.

First I was a bit confused at Arnav and Khushi's romantic encounter. When Khushi pushed him back, then i realized that it was before their marriage when Arnav was in a relationship with La. Khushi's conscious couldn't let him go further. But what Arnav could do, cause the pull and the attraction was so visceral! your description of the hot romance was magical, giving me goose bumps throughout. And I read the part twice.😳

Just waiting to see Anajli and Dr. Verma's love to bloom

hi sohara, thanks so much, dear one. i am glad that part got read twice, i know if you had your way, they'd be locked up in a room and be romantic with each other all the time, rest of their lives.

glad too, you liked anjali asr... i want to know more about this pair of siblings, their life, their past... i feel like it, no other reason. the writers of ipk were brill, they just aroused my curiosity and commitment to a crazy pitch. who falls for a tv serial hero and stays up nights wondering why he is the way he is. barun and writers and director should really be locked up and never do this to any sane thinking person again... ha ha ha but then again , i was never in that sane category.

i am seeing all of you have written fab stuff for the 170s... hoping to read most of it in the next couple of hours... office 😆... let's hope there's no work.