arshi ff: without you... thread #1, chapters 1-13 **completed**

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Mysticaldivine

@Mysticaldivine

Stunner

+ 10

Posted: 12 years ago

#351

That was very touchy Indi⭐️

My grabber

- lonely rose...from mom's garden...like Maa ki dua ...jannat ki hawa👏😭 made me a bit sad and hopeful too as it will take care of him

-First meeting ..as always ...ASR and his gussa...along with Khushi and hers yet she stood for herself👏

-His stern attitude and her giving nature which always melts him

After reading this I don't know why this song is coming in my head...couldn't resist

Lamha Lamha doori yuon pighalti hai

jane kiss aag mein yeh shabnum jalti hai

Edited by ArshiHamesha - 12 years ago

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#352

Originally posted by: nishu_shorna
I thought I would read and comment after coming back from exam tomorrow...but cant resist myself...
the flashback...oh that rude & arrogant ASR...how I miss him...
its been 2 weeks...now Khushi brought that flower from maa's garden...his dhak dhak have to increase na...He will be all right...
Was it Shyam in the phone...that snake...I am waiting to see...
loved the update...sooo much...

hey nishu_shorna, such a lovely comment. thanks you so much. okay for that arrogant asr, got to thank a wonderful girl called sunshine80. she was missing him, even in my writing... so.
dhak dhak,... yeah it had better increase. 😳

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#353

Originally posted by: cinthiann1758
Indi , Bravo, again I am sitting here in tears. The garden that did it. The one lone rose, it would take care of him.😭
His anger and nerve when he first had his encounter with her. Wow, I thought my ASR was tough.
Love the line
if the moisture had evaporated before, now the air itself wanted to flee.
Love your work.👏

teehee, thanks for liking that line. a bit ott maybe... but this is asr and his rage is careening. a very special kinda gussa. hugs, cynthia... so sweet of you to read promptly. that anger and nerve... well sunshine80 reminded me that's where asr strts and in that somewhere asr is... not to lose him.

but aw i don't like to make ya cry. letme see what can be done about that.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#354

Originally posted by: ArshiHamesha

That was very touchy Indi⭐️
My grabber
- lonely rose...from mom's garden...like Maa ki dua ...jannat ki hawa👏😭 made me a bit sad and hopeful too as it will take care of him
-First meeting ..as always ...ASR and his gussa...along with Khushi and hers yet she stood for herself👏
-His stern attitude and her giving nature which always melts him
After reading this I don't know why this song is coming in my head...couldn't resist

Lamha Lamha doori

hugs, arshi.

i am thrilled that a song came to you after reading. it is really a challenge to write someone you know and feel in your head in a different way without messing with the real thing. if i get it even 10 per cent on track, it's cause for me to feela funny semnse of satisfaction. a song... looks like you felt many things.

i thought that garden which was a source of life for him, needed to be around at such an hour.

i always struggled with the overly sweet asr. it was unfair to a character which had been nurtured with so much understanding. his closed fortress is part of his nature... so is his sudden leap to anger, streak of arrogance... after kidnap, there were a few instances of this, always felt right. just as the intense fight of 1 august when he moved from desperation to anger to meanness to game alll for that feeling he has for his lover. even thinking of it does things to me.

you don't change overnight... even when there's love. you open up, you flow, you ease slowly, you begin to trust, but no 180 degree palat. same with khushi. i want to see her as i met her... not just a gooey mopey version of her who forgets what is important. he is. their relationship is... and being true to oneself is.

let's see if i can stay on track.

i am so glad you enjoyed.

lovely song... thanks.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFrDI-EEWj4[/YOUTUBE]

credit: uploader

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Mysticaldivine

@Mysticaldivine

Stunner

+ 10

Posted: 12 years ago

#355

Originally posted by: indi52

hugs, arshi.

i am thrilled that a song came to you after reading. it is really a challenge to write someone you know and feel in your head in a different way without messing with the real thing. if i get it even 10 per cent on track, it's cause for me to feela funny semnse of satisfaction. a song... looks like you felt many things.

i thought that garden which was a source of life for him, needed to be around at such an hour.

i always struggled with the overly sweet asr. it was unfair to a character which had been nurtured with so much understanding. his closed fortress is part of his nature... so is his sudden leap to anger, streak of arrogance... after kidnap, there were a few instances of this, always felt right. just as the intense fight of 1 august when he moved from desperation to anger to meanness to game alll for that feeling he has for his lover. even thinking of it does things to me.

you don't change overnight... even when there's love. you open up, you flow, you ease slowly, you begin to trust, but no 180 degree palat. same with khushi. i want to see her as i met her... not just a gooey mopey version of her who forgets what is important. he is. their relationship is... and being true to oneself is.

let's see if i can stay on track.

i am so glad you enjoyed.

lovely song... thanks.
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFrDI-EEWj4[/YOUTUBE]
credit: uploader

You absolutely right,no one changes over night...and ASR for my perspective remained intact though only changed or melted for Khushi ..as she is his Dhakan...no question about it and Khushi was no Khushi later at all as we met her..[as u mentioned]...I started with you for this story so I can come out from that pic which makes me sleepless and I am not kidding with you.when I saw first time ,a woman like me who doesn't cry quickly ...couldn't sleep for days till evrything came back to normal at least for me...

This is going really fine as desperately want to see How you make him up on his feet but don't forget He must get up to beat shyam BADLY...Plz...I know I am acting like a child...sorry just flow with your dreams and thoughts ...love your gliding with your words and thoughts full of dreams...

Honestly I purposely did not put YT video ,may be you have younger readers...pardon me if I was thinking too much😉

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IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#356

chapter 6

sing, goddess, of the rage of peleus's son achilles,
the accursed rage that brought great suffering to the achaeans.
~~~ homer, the illiad~~~

I see you are stating the "dark/rage" theme with the picture and with Achilles. Great picture, great quote, strangely apt the latter! To me, it didn't feel absent in your writing to begin with...that was and will always be him. Without the complexity, there can be no Raizada. And you have internalized him, and her, to the extent that there is no way you can move away. It's just a matter of what situation they are in..and since you're not starting at the "beginning", it can only unfold over time... my two bits only... 😛😳😛

Loved reading the update. You are setting up something for Anjali di. Chalo, finally, someone is giving her something substantial to do! Makes me rejoice!! High time. For the girl has potential, and spirit, and god knows who she could have been if Shyam hadn't been around to cramp her style...
But that voice on the phone? Familiar sounding trouble. Oh no!

The scene in the bedroom is amazing. Conflicted in his core, the Raizada. Loved picturing him there looking out the window. We all have spaces no one is allowed to enter. This is why i love this man. And then it turns, and ends beautifully.

Really lovely stuff 👏 My fave parts:
later that evening in his room, he was getting ready for a business dinner when his eyes fell on a pink plastic purse on the table. his jaw went rigid. he picked it up and flung it away.
and...
dhak dhak... dhak dhak. was it his heart or hers?
All our hearts i say ❤️

P.S.Come back with more soon!

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Omoraboti

@Omoraboti

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#357

Di!

I have already told you the brutal truth. 😉

After I had read the prologue, I was choked .. and fearing things I did not want to read. But the next chapter made me smile .. even though ASR is fighting. I know he will survive. They will survive.

Let me admit. I am a hasty reader. But I really had to take it slow with your chapters because I did not want to miss a single feeling. Two of the chapters, I have first read half and then gone back at the beginning and started reading again. Such is the power of your words. Wordsmith. Isn't that the phrase we have always used? 😊

Loving the way you are unfolding their story .. as she waits, as we wait to see him open his eyes and flash that lopsided smile. And .. yeah .. a "shut up, Khushi" will do.

I am rather grateful that you have finally decided to write about them - ASR and his Khushi. Yeah, I am a little biased and I am proud of it. 😉 You keep updating, I will keep blabbering on ASR.

Love you! and .. love ASR. 😳

PS: I cannot get ASR in black speedo trunk out of my mind. Kya kar diya aap ne ... ! And that little anecdote on you and your daughter .. epic. 😆 Reminds me of my 4.5 year old. Every time he catches me watching aything of Barun Sobti, he widens his eyes and says, "Eta to Arnav. Tumi ekhono keno dekho?" This is Arnav .. why you still watch him. Sigh. Wish I could explain.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#358

^^^ isspkaur,

what can i say, you always leave me feeling happy. i have internalised him you say? i do hope so. i need to feel him in me.

and just look what places he leads me to... looking for ancient anger on google, i come to homer and illiad... then fearing that i won't understand a word i went there, and who should be vapourising all around him there but achilles. yes, even i felt as i read a bit, something terribly similar... can't say what, but that trapped rage... an ancient one. asr had such primal intensity in him... like the timeless tragic heroes that moved you to emotions everyday robbed you of.

i sense something tragic in him, no matter how happy he is with his paramour now. what life took remains taken.

i want to know his anger. i wonder if khushi would start reading his rage, and see the signs of his state of being he leaves there.

thanks for liking those lines. i see them growing into a real relationship, sometimes just perfect, sometimes a mess, all of it who they are what they are together and there is no other way they can be any more.

Quote

indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#359

Originally posted by: Omoraboti
Di!

I have already told you the brutal truth. 😉

After I had read the prologue, I was choked .. and fearing things I did not want to read. But the next chapter made me smile .. even though ASR is fighting. I know he will survive. They will survive.

Let me admit. I am a hasty reader. But I really had to take it slow with your chapters because I did not want to miss a single feeling. Two of the chapters, I have first read half and then gone back at the beginning and started reading again. Such is the power of your words. Wordsmith. Isn't that the phrase we have always used? 😊

Loving the way you are unfolding their story .. as she waits, as we wait to see him open his eyes and flash that lopsided smile. And .. yeah .. a "shut up, Khushi" will do.

I am rather grateful that you have finally decided to write about them - ASR and his Khushi. Yeah, I am a little biased and I am proud of it. 😉 You keep updating, I will keep blabbering on ASR.

Love you! and .. love ASR. 😳

PS: I cannot get ASR in black speedo trunk out of my mind. Kya kar diya aap ne ... ! And that little anecdote on you and your daughter .. epic. 😆 Reminds me

fof my 4.5 year old. Every time he catches me watching aything of Barun Sobti, he widens his eyes and says, "Eta to Arnav. Tumi ekhono keno dekho?" This is Arnav .. why you still watch him. Sigh. Wish I could explain.

farha, 🤗

you are so very good with your words, i am grateful you bothered to read slowly and actually went back to read from the top.

wordsmith. hyuk. yeah that sweet mad anjali called me that and embarrassed the h out of me. me no word nothing, just an emotional rambler.

i felt a need to write about him and her and i pray it's what it should be. fairly epic characters here... just now was chatting with isspk, how he reminded me of achilles. a most intriguing girl in her whom they later scuttled... i'm trying to hold on to my sense of her.

um him in speedo... let's hope your lttle one has no idea what speedos are... and really, why are you looking at arnav still? 🤣 okay, i thought he was wearing one of those latest speedos, kinda longer, but no, sir, the moment you write asr, swimming pool, speedo wham!!! a vision. what to do with this powerful man and his phangurrls 😆.

what shoud he say when he opens his eyes? now you've helped me skid right into skd. maybe, "hi" and that smile you invoke. 😳 aaa can't breathe.

see ya soon hopefully. and i hope you do see my short thrilled comments on every update of yours.

please ramble about asr... i miss my daily 22 mins so much.

Edited by indi52 - 12 years ago