arshi ff: without you... thread #1, chapters 1-13 **completed** - Page 34

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Crazy4IPK thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Simply superb.
Fabulous writing.
i was trying to get in the labyrinth of your thought.
Your deep thought conveyed through your writing successfully.
So many things I liked in this chapter

anecdote from ASR's childhood, the most significant and of course horrendous moment of his life.

Khushi's pensive state is unbearable. She is devastated. she rides the bus and ebbs back in memory. Bin tere is just the apt song for her mental state. Just feeling ecstatic, imagining the scene Khushi is sitting on the pillion of his bike, lean on his shoulder. Glimpse of Barun just came to my mind. Barun loves bike, he loves Harley. Wouldn't it be great Arnav wearing a stone washed torn jeans, leather Jacket, riding a Harley Davidson.

It was touched my heart so much when Khsuhi clutched his shirt to her heart, she wanted to feel her Arnavji, his smell must smeared all over it. Life is impossible without him.

Nani's optimistic words are just too emotional. He just started his life happily, now God can't be so cruel to snatch it.

great to know about the Prakash bros. Prakash dynasty seems very attached to Raizadas. And the cute OP is here to play with Khushi. Yeah I remember you wanted him as Khushi's play mate.😆

So Shyam is absent from the scenario. It seems to me that he was the one who made that accident happened.


indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
^^^ sohara, 🤗

thank you so much. that labyrinth i want to enter and ubravel... to the extent it allows me to.

that shot of khsuhi leaning and holdong him from the back as he rides... ufff... sort of went through my head. but on a harley in jeans and a rugged wiastcoat... i could be on that road to nainital forever with them like that. "ei poth jodi na shesh ho," if this road should never end, from a classic uttam suchitra scene in a bengali movie back in the sixties... some roads really are there in us forever.

in fact, those shots of barun and sanaya on his bike used to make me feel strange... his persona changes when he rides... just happier, freer... even more himself... maybe that's where asr laughs his belly laughs.

shyam is where i don't know but he is beginning to ask for attention too. 😆
DurgaS thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: indi52



thanks, durga.

you are sweet... so what's new.

okay, i am a snooty oldie sort who claims not to like most new songs. mohit chauhan and atif aslam i do like though. the first one because the boy said he liked him and the second because i feel his voice is super sexy and a perfect playback match for the boy.

you are noticing a certain obsession here i hope. 😆

while looking for tere bin by atif a, i came across bin tere some time last year. nice song, i thought. then a couple of days back, no idea why, this song came and sat on my head. out of nowhere. i heard it at least a 100 times... missed asr, missed barun, went intolerably filmi... then decided enough... i was going to use it in my story. just when i thought the idea was daft... really silly, sunshine posted the edit. tell you. i almost passed out.

now there was nothing to do but write that chapter. 😆 thank you so so much for liking it.

love emotions, want to see what they can do, teehee.

Ya, I had read those posts between you and your friend's along with the three edits. Loved the edits so much and wanted to barge in instantly to give my comments too, but it was time to log out, so I let it be. Really wonderful feeling, when things that you have in mind suddenly come in front. Happened to me too. Remember the pic, Supriya used for my story in the Blasters VM. I hadn't posted my Ch. 5 then, but that scene was there in my story and I had the exact same scene from the show in my mind while writing it. I immediately pm'ed to Supriya about it and shared my excitement.
Some more points about the chapter that I didn't mention earlier.
Dan, the hair stylist? A name out of the blue or is he a known character whom I don't know. 😕 😆 Loved the asli KKGSR bit. The best part I loved in the bus scene was when Arnav kisses her hand and says 'You won't have to'. An assurance to her that 'hang in there, I am coming back to you. It may take some time, but I am definitely going to make it.' Felt he wanted to convey that to her. And Khushi felt it, maybe that's why she was calmer after getting down from the bus. A cab and then gust of wind? The mention of cab too scares me sometimes. 'If only', the movie from where the makers got the dreaded idea, had the accident scene with a cab. Read that story in wiki as soon as the news had come out.
Loved the Nani scene. She is so strong. So, the car-scooter accident takes place in Lucknow itself? 😆 And, chane on his car, that's the office garage scene (Hey, just realised, I had chane in my story too! What's happening? 😆 )
Reading talks about Shyam's whereabouts. I think he will surface when Dr.VV realises he is interested in his patient's sister. What say? 😉
Wow, this was long. Now, that I've completed mine, I think my words are gonna invade your spaces. 😆
Edited by DurgaS - 12 years ago
indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
hi durga,

welcome back. ah dan 😳. no, he is just asr's hair dresser, the one he trusts... not famous otherwise. yet 😆.

haven't seen "if only," no idea that was the "inspiration" for the poorly inspired... so no, this is not a scary cab. this is khushi going back home feeling better.

yes, he said all the things you feel to her... i would like the reader to interpret and feel and own the tale as much as i do.

about shyam... bit of a conundrum till now but he is lurking.

chane oon his car... in delhi she treated him to ber. 😆 😆 variety, variety. he sis incensed absolutely and those ball like things hanging from her clothes are hurting his sensibilities. my poor asr...

please do come here as often as you like... that telepathy thing makes it all such fun.
Arnav_Khushifan thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Hi indrani,
Just wanted to say I have luved each and every update. The story is very powerful. I know I have not commented since chapter one so sorry for that. It is a very emotional story and I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that ASR is hurt but I knw you. You luv ASR and you won't let anything bad happen to him. He is Khushi's HAMESHA. I was happy to read that he was showing some improvement and I luved te rt where arnav came to khushi and helped her go back home. The song bin Tere ik kwash is beautiful and perfect for these two. Looking forward to the update. Thankyou for writing this story indrani and sharing with us.
PutijaChalhov thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Indi it was so gripping the imagination and reality blending Nani Di Op/HP Khushi all had a role
..Anita.. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Aaawww Arnav is showing improvements because Khushi js not properly eating
indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Arnav_Khushifan

Hi indrani,

Just wanted to say I have luved each and every update. The story is very powerful. I know I have not commented since chapter one so sorry for that. It is a very emotional story and I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that ASR is hurt but I knw you. You luv ASR and you won't let anything bad happen to him. He is Khushi's HAMESHA. I was happy to read that he was showing some improvement and I luved te rt where arnav came to khushi and helped her go back home. The song bin Tere ik kwash is beautiful and perfect for these two. Looking forward to the update. Thankyou for writing this story indrani and sharing with us.



his rashmi,

polease don't feel bad about not commenting. not expected every chapter. if you read, like and leave a like, i am thrillled enough. 😳 thanks for saying what you do. he he, i do love this asr person... and you are right, he is her hamesha. beautifully put. see you soon... and it's good to hear you enjoyed.

indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: ..Anita..

Aaawww Arnav is showing improvements because Khushi js not properly eating



hi anita...

yeah, this connection the two have... it's surreal. 😳 thanks for the aaawww, good to see you here.

indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: chalhov

Indi it was so gripping the imagination and reality blending Nani Di Op/HP Khushi all had a role



thank you, chalhov, 😃

gripping... sounds nice. yeah they are all here, in my head this is still ipk. 😳

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