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**It's usually written abt Arnav's past but not Khushi's. Hardly few have written abt it. To say that this is heart-whelming would be an understatement!Arnav and Khushi are dissimilar yet so similar. Their outer persona, their attitude and perspectives of worldly matters might differ but the notions and feelings of their hearts are the same. They might be all pretense and of facade for everyone else but not for the other. They know each other in and out. And that's one of the best parts of their relationship. The fact that she understands that her husband is back home for her and the fact that he recognises her need of his presence is heart-warming to know about. We rarely get to see couples of so much understanding despite all the odd differences."He also knew that she would keep away from him as much as possibble, lest she lose the iron-grip she had on herself and weaken in the face of his concern."She had already started doing it", he thought, as he watched her walk away. Her usual habit was to dance around him till he had changed and settled down, updating him of every detail about her day. But today, she'd walked off as soon as she could manage to do it, as if she was afraid of spending time with him.
He knew, since he'd gone through the same thing earlier in the year. He'd held himself together until Khushi came up to their room after the pooja. Having someone this close to your heart meant that in times of sadness, one glimpse of them can break-down your carefully built barriers. You might hold strong in front of everyone else, but with them, you desperately seek comfort, reassurance. So, until you have the luxury of doing it, you keep away from the refuge" - These lines are so poignant! @underlined - trying express the beauty of these would just reduce it's intensity. I love them.
It takes a person whom you know to understand your words, but it takes a person who knows you to understand your silence. And when one is truly in love, one starts noticing the smallest of smallest gestures of that person. That's the reason Arnav could find that spark missing in her smile, the twinkle that's clouded in her eyes, the passiveness in her words and actions.It takes a lot of effort from her to not break down, to restrain and constrict her feelings and emotions, to not run into his arms and open up her heart. But her husband knows her better. He provides her that support, gives her that warmth, that comfort all silently even without having to voice it out. THat's the sheer beauty of their relationship."Mujhe aise aapke baahon mein thodi der aur rehne deejiye" - It's her haven, her bliss, all that a wife like her can ever ask for.Her past did move me tears too. That guilt, that pain!! And all that's left behind is 'If Only'. If only she's listened to her mother, just if!! We never realise the importance of things until we lose them, and here it's just not about any random thing, it's about her parents. No wonder she feels so guilty and is so engulfed in pain.Arnav's wish to reduce her pain, to soothe her, to calm her, to pacify her, to reduce her agony, to help her let out all her anguish is so touching, so heart-warming. Her tears is his tears, her pain is his pain, her grief his grief!! :'("Feeling his shuddering breaths, Khushi hugged him tight. She knew, just as it had been unbearable for her to witness his pain on his bad day, her husband was struggling to be strong for her.
Lying there silently, Khushi let her tears wash away the burning ache that had been building up inside her since morning, maybe, since the day she had lost her parents. Afterall, this was the first time she had relived the most horrifying day of her life. Maybe, the fact that her husband was the one person who could understand her agony, would help in healing her.
Finally finding peace in her Arnavji's arms, she slept, leaving Arnav to a sleepless night, a night where he kept vigil for his wife. It was his form of paying respects to those gentle souls who had brought her into this world, into his world." He wants to be there for her, to be strong her even though he himself is shattered and is trying to compose himself..And finally she finds peace after letting everything out to her husband...
"Aap bus humare paas rahiyega..."
"Hamesha...", he replied, hugging her to him" - That hamesha one word itself conveys all the love and more he has for her and her need for his mere presence conveys all the love she has for him and the trust and faith she has in him, the comfort she draws from him!!
Like I always say, I love their love and admire them for it..
You've done absolute justice to the emotions. The way you've described them is splendid and I'm sure for the one who's written it and the one who's read it would have a heavy heart at the end.
"When you lose people, you tend to shove your grief into a corner of your heart and get back to the practicalities of daily survival. Then, some days come around during the year, when every waking moment torments you with memory after memory. It leaves you so exhausted and broken, that it doesn't leave you with the strength to even cry. A huge hole opens up in your chest and every breath you take ends up failing to reach your lungs, leaving you gasping in agony. On such days, you just want to burrow deep into something, someone, who'll keep you safe from breaking apart, who'll prevent the hole from opening wide and consuming you as a whole.
All you can do is to just ride out those days, hoping that as the sun comes up the next morning, you'll be able to get back to your daily grind, the latch firmly back on that compartment in your heart. And go about your life, drawing strength from your loved ones, those who remind you that the world is not all pain and grief, there's joy in it as well." We lose so much that grief engulfs us to an extent that we tend to forget ourselves and move on mechanically constructing a wall around us. And there are some moments that actually remind you the truth, the mirror of the pain and grief and that moment, all we wish is for someone to hold us, to stop us from shattering up even more, to just say that 'it's going to be fine'!! And as that moment goes by, we again get back to the same old robotic routine just wishing that atleast the next such moment comes, we have someone by our side and everything goes on with this li'l hope.
Sorry for going overboard! Just that the A/N did tick me off to the past!
Well, that one was one beautiful, heart-wrenching piece from you..Looking forward to that lighter one (:
P.S I was caught up in work so couldn edit earlier and when I edited it, unfortunately I pressed the back button and voila, the whole thing was gone. So I had to write it up all once again and that's taken up even more time! I so wish IF had this option of self drafting, atleast then it would be saved instead of erased totally!
PPS When I read this, I was reminded of Soulmates and I remembered that quote of Dawson -Lily:Whats a soulmate?
Dawson: It's a.. Well, it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don't make you a better person... you do that yourself-- because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens.. you'll always love them.Somehow Arnav and Khushi reminded me of this!!!
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