Posted:
The Raizada Nurse emails her Boyfriend
Dear Jaanu
Help me, please. Mein yaha phans gayi. Please come and get me. I am not sure I can continue this hide and seek game. I didn't sign up for this.
If it weren't bad enough bed-panning the spoilt rotten Dumbali with her constipation, I am now reduced to play her cover too!
Had it not been for The Di Lunch Buffet today, I'd have quit first thing in the morning. The prima donna didn't eat much, so I ended up eating the 5 course meal with aloo methi, puri, chutney, salad and kheer. I can be convinced to stay with the daily lunch buffet deals, you know, I am easy that way.
The Prime-Zada is a crazy bull. He orders the house to bring enough food, on a trolley no less, to feed an army. Have you seen that dratted Anjali's waist? Do ya think she can eat all that food? I don't think so. And, I dont think she carried a baby, she was faking it all along. Trust me, I've seen my share of pregnant women and this one ain't one. Nah-uh, this one is fake. But who cares, I get my paycheck.
Jaanu, the rich and the famous are hard to manage. They aren't like us at all. I mean, come on! Holy mother of jesus! this horny woman and her corny husband can barely keep their hands off each other. What am I supposed to do while the two get it on in the room? Turn my face to the wall and poke my fingers into my ears and sing Ram Nam Ka Bhajan? I denied the bulky man on medical grounds, told him his wife can't take handle any weight on her. Phew! That was that. But I am not sure how long I can keep these two off each other.
Then, the mahan aathma, the pure soul Khushi asks me which medicine did the trick. How do I explain it to the nave girl! Its an age old medicine, a cure-all. Its called SEX. Tum nahi samjhogi, khushiji!
Then two harridans show up to add to the two who are already here wasting no effort to get on my nerves, with enough laddoos to feed the entire Kumbh Mela. Guess what, I ate them all, and now I feel so...so...so... turned on. Darn! What was in those laddoos?
And the cherry that popped err on top? The Prime-Zada and Shy-Zada decide to visit the gynec. Pray what will they ask her? Doctor, doctor, which hormone is my Di on? Doctor - She needs sex you moron. Stop cock-blocking.
In any case, this place is a hormone hell, testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, serotonin, melatonin, endorphine - you name it. And its making me horny.
COME AND GET ME OUTTA HERE NOW, JAANU! HELP!
Yours forever
Nurse (and i promise i will role play that tonite, please just get me the hell out of here)
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