Originally posted by: --Anna--
Hola everyone! 🤗
Before I start with my bak-bak, I would like to say a Big Big Thank you to everyone who reads and likes my post. Sometimes its possible for me to reply to each and every comment and sometimes I cannot - but I would like to let you know that none of the post misses my eyes and I read every single one of it. All the appreciation is welcome and appreciated. Thank you so much all and lots of love to everyone. 🤗🤗🤗
Now let me start with my usual bak-bak ; From what I can see this particular track is designed for Khushi to see the true and real face of Shyam Manohar Jha. She is going to see his real face and then will she understand what her role is in the MU and what mistake she has committed by not confiding in anyone. I am going to do today's analysis in a different way. Hope you all like it. ;)
Khushi's POV
I looked at him, feeling something wrong - feeling something amiss in the way he kept trying to shove down the file at me for Arnavji's signature. I needed his help to prove myself to the man who means the most to me - but should I trust this man who was a cheat!? My heart and mind battled as I considered the situation but my mind told me that something was wrong and Shyam Manohar Jha could not be trusted. I looked into his eyes and told him clearly - No...I will not take the papers to Arnav ji...whether the papers are right or wrong - I don't care... I would not take them to him - He can do it himself. Leaving him angry and frustrated I go away.
I keep thinking how could Arnav ji not have asked me about all this before, how could he not trust me!? I know that I would need to prove myself to him when Anjali di comes up to me and I smile through my pain for I cannot let her see through my pain. I lie - but she catches me and she asks me whether me and Arnav ji have fought again!? What and how should I answer her!? How should I tell her that we are in a sham of a marriage which is based on distrust!? How should I tell her that he thinks so low of me!? How should I tell her that all we do is fight and nothing else!? How do I tell her - there is absolutely nothing left between us!?
I am still pondering over my thoughts when Arnav ji enters the scene all ready to go to office. He does not pay attention as he is busy on the phone and accidentaly he breaks of the button of his shirt due to which he goes to change his shirt.
Anjali di and I go to Arnavji's and my room and see Arnavji looking for a shirt to change into it. Before he could, Anjali di comes in and stops him. She tells him that I would sew the button for him as it is just a button. I am shocked and so is he. We are taken aback as the confrontation on the road is still fresh in our minds. However, it is Anjali di and I cannot say no to her. She is the one who always tries to keep me and Arnav ji together. She is the one who understands both me and Arnav ji well and she is always the one who sensing any danger to our married life steps up and does small things to make it okay.
I move to him and look into his eyes and he looks back at me. I cannot read his eyes but I start to sew the button on his shirt. He looks at me time and again, a bit uncomfortable. He sees Anjali di has left and that I do not need to 'act'.
His words hurt me. Why and how can he think so low of me!? Why cannot he see the reality!? Why can he not understand the pain he is putting me through because of his lack of understanding of me and what I told him!? He tries to leave when I am hurt by the needle and he comes back to me with concern in his eyes and sorry in his mouth. If only he could understand that the pain he has given me is nothing compared to this prick of needle and it is much more.I hold on to the thread and tell him - I am not acting - I am just holding on to the thread that was given to me without my approval and without my understanding - and no I cannot run away from it - now that it is in my hands I will hold on to it. I look back at him and I see him looking at me with his head held in shame. Yes - he has understood what I was talking about. I was talking about our marriage. He has understood that I was talking about our marriage - that sacred bond that ties us together - that has been forced on to me without my approval - without any understanding - I am holding on to it and I will continue holding onto it whatever the situation be till I cannot take it anymore. He understands this - I can read it in his eyes that he has understood my plight. He gives up and let's me continue my work - I finish sewing off his shirt and he starts getting dressed up for work.
I turn to him and tell him that I want to speak to him - however he ignores me. These days all my pleas fall in his deaf ears. He leaves without even looking at me - leaving me along and vulnerable. Before I can let my heart out and let the tears fall I see Anjali di enter. I put up a brave face for her again but she sees through me again - she understands that we have been fighting and she asks me to be patient. But how much patient can I be when it is my character in question!? When the person I love the most thinks so lowly of me!? She tries to explain to me but that is when Shyam Manohar Jha enters. I distance myself a bit as he starts taking a jibe at my married life and talks in riddles about what I should do to save my marriage. I try to understand his words but I cannot fathom what he actually means.
Di and Shyam ji, leave my room and as I go to close the door, Shyam ji returns back and reminds me of the deal he was making with me at the pool side. I can sense the desperation he has to get the file signed and I can sense something wrong - his manner, his behavior is what irks me to believe that there is something wrong and hence I decide to meet Arnav ji and intimate him of this. I know he will not believe me - but I have to try my best and save him of any impending danger.
I rush to his office and I start telling Arnav ji about shyam ji's plan and how he wants me to get some papers signed. I tell him that I know he does not trust me enough but he needs to be careful. However, I am left to be in shock when I see it is not Arnav ji but Shyam ji who is sitting in Arnavji's chair. I look in shock as he looks at me angry.
Arnav's POV
I sit in the drawing room trying to work - but I cannot get the image of the whole confrontation out of my mind. I could feel her pain - I could feel my words hurt her - I could feel that she may be telling the truth - but why is it so hard to believe it!? Why can I not get done with the image of her and Shyam in an embrace on the terrace and her asking him to leave my di!? Why does my heart wants to believe every word that she uttered but my mind refuses to accept it!? Why do I feel I have hurt her by not trusting her!? Why is it so difficult to understand what is right and what is wrong!? Why is it so difficult to understand who is lying and who is speaking the truth!? Why is so difficult to chose between the heart and the mind!?
My thoughts are disrupted by HP, Anjali di and Nani. I leave them alone for they are unable to see the pain that is etched across my heart and the confusion that my heart and mind is going through with each passing day.
I go to tell di that I am leaving for office when the button of my shirt breaks. I realize that I need to go and change my shirt. I am just about to do when di stops me and sends Khushi to sew the button. I am taken aback and I can see - so is she. I look at her as she comes towards me and slowly looking at me takes my shirt and starts sewing the button. I look at her and I see her eyes brimming with tears - and I look away. I see di leaving and I want nothing but to stay away from Khushi for being close to her is very difficult. I tell her to stop her act and move away from her when she gets pricked by the needle. Damn! She is hurt and without thinking I rush back to help her and murmur sorry. She looks at me with tears in her eyes and I know that this is nothing and I have hurt her more than I think. Before I can look away - she looks at me and utters those words that fills me with regret and guilt. I have put her in a marriage that meant for her so much - and I forced her into it - and I did not even think it necessary to tell her the reason - No - I cannot look at her . I look away as she comes close to me and begins to sew. I look at her again and again and I see her look at me once in a while. As soon as she finishes I want to rush away from there. No - I cannot stand there and face her when I can see how badly is she hurt.
Pointers
1) Buaji was so right when she said that Arnav's behavior is strange in RM because he has realized the difference between genuine love and care and the over bearing love of the RM members. More so - change in Arnav's behavior was quite visible today and so was the difference between the RM and GH ladies. For the Gupta Ladies : 👏 👏
2) I cannot stand Bubbly!! She is very very irritating. Fine we got it that Akash and Payal's relationship is very very weak and it cannot stand Bubbly - how will it stand when their relationship is put to tests. We got it and it is understood and now can we move on! Its ridiculous to see Bubbly act like a jealous girl friend.
3) Payal and Khushi's relationship is changing - both are not confiding in each other - while Payal suffers and Khushi suffers - they both know that something is off with either of them yet they are failing to talk to each other. Its becoming disappointing to watch so much of selflessness even between sisters. (I share every little thing with mine so I hate it.)
4) On special request (by Ranju ;P) : Shyam Manohar Jha - How dare you sit on our Arnav Singh Raizada's chair!? 😡 😆
Favorite Character of the day
Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada for starting to make an effort and seeing through Shyam's motives.
So!? Hope you like this new way of writing - just an attempt - because I felt like doing something different today. A good episode - Barun, Sananya and Abhaas all were brilliant as usual. Loved the way the story is moving.
Love ;)
Current Affairs
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