Posted:
Have you made a post in IPK forum and wondered why your posts don't get good responses?
Have tried to discuss a topic and no one replies to your posts?
Have you made topics with exactly 1 response, that too your own?
If you are plagued by these issues, help is on the way, my friend.
Yours faithfully, Serialjunkie, for the first time will reveal the trade secrets of all the popular forum post-makers. And the best part is, the tips are entirely
FREE FREE FREE.
(Btw, If I have to declare that this is a FUN POST and no offense meant to anyone, I've defeated the purpose of the post, but here it is anyway)
How to raise your Forum TRPs
- Quit your job. This is the most difficult part of the process but the most useful.
- Make a post and baby sit the post for at least 3 hours.
- Put the words "GUTTER" "GUTTER ALERT" in the topic header
- Make a topic "I'm meeting IPKKND cast/set" and watch the fun.
- Keep hitting the refresh button. Don't even think of a bathroom break. Drink less coffee and water before you make a post. You don't want your bladder beating your cause. Concentrate, dammit.
- As soon you see a comment, stop getting too excited to type. Take a deep breath, calm down, and then answer right away.
- If your eyes hurt just staring at your topic while waiting for comments, have eye drops ready.
- Bring your topic to first page of forum. Darn those sticky topics, why do they sticky everything? who cares for a frustration thread, the entire forum is one thread of frustration right now!!
- If you see no one comments on your post, just post "so many views, no comments? đ". IMPORTANT - Make sure you add the crying emoticon for effect. Voila! Comments follow.
- Sit on the fence. No, no, come back, I don't mean literally. Declare you are team ARHI, then you can bash the show as much as you want. You are, after all, team ARHI and therefore, above reproach.
- To get 200+ likes and guaranteed 15 pages growth - do the following
Make BS/ASR/Arnav loving postsMake posts about ASR/BS assetsMake ASR VM with shirt onMake ASR VM w/o shirt onThe most popular, make ASR VM with ASR cryingW*F, just make a post with "Barun Barun Barun" typed 1001 times like Gayatri Mantra.
- Be crowned The Queen(King) of Balanced Views and be loved by one and all - do the following
First make an Arnav loving postImmediately make a khushi loving postRight after make an arnav bashing postImmediately followed by khushi bashing postSit back and enjoy being crowned the Queen of Balanced Views
- Create a SPOILER post. Then state the obvious like - MU will be cleared. See the likes and comments hit bumper bonanza. (with the exception of mishti - i dont believe anyone, just saying)
- Accuse random people of plagiarism, and then scream all over the forum that your post got stolen. Sympathy does flow very easily here. For questions, consult MentalExotica for help.
- Pimp your old posts with links at bottom of your new posts.
- PM links to friends and have them make "RES". "RES" makes your posts look mighty important. "RES" is like those squatters outside a newly released harry potter movie or the crazed shoppers outside Best Buy stores before thanksgiving. Create frenzy, for heaven's sake!!
- Use sarcasm as a foil to say what's on your mind. Join the following workshop to learn more
Sarcasm - How to avoid eggs, rotten tomatoes and chappals in IPK Forum through humor ,
Speaker - Serialjunkie
And if after all this, you do not get your posts popular, my friend, you must seriously consider becoming one of those lovely masses of people here, who silently but diligently read a post and push the "Like" button. Without you, no post maker would ever feel inspired to post.
My hats off to the silent readers here, who have read posts, "Like"d them and encouraged the posters to continue
My hats off to the silent readers here, who have read posts, "Like"d them and encouraged the posters to continue
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
57