Disclaimer - This is purely a fun post, no offense intended towards the creators or fans of IPKKND. Its my devotion to this show that makes me do this. Another thing, after accidentally posting this on the Lamp and Wick forum (puts foot in mouth!!!), I realized my folly and understood why i saw no comments from my lovely friends, so comment please!!!
Relaxing on her lounge chair by the deep blue Pacific sea, covered in sun screen SPF 125 no less, a large straw hat shielding her delicate face from the relentless UV raysof the Hawaiian sun, no mobile, no laptop, no electronic gadgetry to take away from her peaceful retreat, Ms Logic takes long sips of her margarita.
Meanwhile at the OPKKND studios, CVs are running helter-skelter searching for Ms. Logic, who has mysteriously disappeared from the set, without so much as by your leave. Everyone's scratching their heads trying to locate her but her mobile is switched off, no one is picking her home phone, and her mail box is full, so the emails are bouncing too. No one has a clue how to reach her'
Ms. Logic lowers her large Prada sunglasses, over the rim of the glasses from beneath the perfect row of eye lashes, she eyes the beach God in his trunks with perfectly sculpted abs and taut hiney, walking the beach in her direction. She raises her eyebrow and whistles silently in full admiration of the sight in front of her. She swings her legs off the lounge chair, her yellow sarong shifting slightly to reveal long tanned legs, and saunters in long elegant strides towards the beach God.
Meanwhile at the IPKKND studios, the crew rings an emergency meeting. Lalit is screaming at the top of his voice, while his TRP aunty keeps texting him incessantly about the state of upcoming episodes. Gul is worried that her show is going to tank and decides to appear in an emergency interview to Rangmunch to silence the restive fans. The moderator of the meeting throws his hands up in the air in sheer confusion and it's finally decided that Dr. Hackjob will be invited to salvage the absolute chaos caused by the sudden disappearance of Ms. Logic.
Ms. Logic removes her glasses and extends her hand to the beach God, "Hello there", she croons in her husky voice. The beach God turns and looks straight into her eyes. A smile forms at the corners of his mouth and he extends his masculine, large hands to engulf Ms. Logic's dainty palm in a protective, possessive and strange intrusion, "Hello there, you too".
Dr. Hackjob is called. He is the local expert who consults with other lofty and successful serials such as :-
"Partner, Give me companionship but no S*x",
" Respect - But how long, without an Extramarital Affair",
"Lamp or Wick, Fist or Kick?"
"What is this relationship called?, Hell, We've No idea".
He arrives on scene and joins the war room meeting. At the end of their ropes, CVs and he decide there is only route left to take. They immediately send an errand boy to the Star Plus headquarters to fetch them the most recent publication of Star Plus Channel's highly proprietary Manual:-
The Book of Cliches ' Tricks and tips when you have no goddamn clue what next to do.
CVs riffle through the pages in desperation. There is no bank of episodes for tomorrow and shit, they already aired a promo they don't know how to deliver. Someone suggests Chapter 23 and everyone turns to page 552 of Chapter 23 ' How to clean up the mess when Snake appears and Ms. Logic disappears.
"Care for a drink?", asks the nonchalant Beach God and Ms. Logic is simply thrilled at her sheer stroke of luck. She tilts her head assessing her new found treasure and nods in a slight but not an over eager agreement. He extends his left hand and she takes it. Both walk away from the beach towards the small straw hut that sits awfully lonely, accompanied by silent companionship of coconut groves and shushing winds.
"Bingo!", cries CV Number 1. Everyone turns to him and he sketches out a plan. "That should keep the viewers chewing their nails until we locate Ms. Logic". Lalit jumps with joy and calls the crew to assemble in the halls of RM. All the spot boys and production team take their positions and Lalit sends for Barun and Sanaya. The spot boy rushes back looking harried and reports to Lalit, "Now Mr. Romance was supposed to be here today but he is not in his dressing room". Lalit falls off the director's chair with an anguished and pained cry, "Cut it'" and he passes out. Dr. Hackjob rushes to Lalit and assures him that they can do this completely without Mr. Romance and Ms. Logic.
Far away in Hawaii, Beach God nuzzles dangerously close to Ms. Logic's ear and whispers, "They call me Mr. Romance", and continues in his sexiest baritone ever, "Where were you all my life?" Ms. Logic replies in her huskiest silky best, as she envelopes his manly torso in her long arms, "Searching for you darling". The thought of IPKKND crew flashes through her mind for a brief second, but is soon replaced by the unrelenting kiss of Mr. Romance. The setting sun bears witness to the ensuing promise of an evening, perhaps even an entire month, of untold pleasures and passion.
Meanwhile, the viewers of IPKKND get screwed and get shown the finger - for Mr. Romance has eloped with Ms. Logic to the Hawaiian Islands on a long vacation with no estimated time of return.
