What if Arnav was a Girl?? - Page 2

Originally posted by: lexaxel

Just like it took a special girl like Khushi to soften ASR's heart, it will be a special[in more ways than one] man to understand a hardened woman like the one u r talking about.

Originally posted by: serialjunkie

Not sure if I understood your post well enough but will try to answer to the best of my ability.

I am a romantic at heart but I believe in relationship between equals. I read tons of M&B books, Regency novels and the entire spectrum of romantic genre. They are always feel good works with one dark character harboring deep pain and secret - usually the man and the woman is always sprightly, positive, charming and full of zesty love for life. And in the end the story is all about the reformatory power of love.

I don't believe in such reformatory power of love in real life. Women who possess traits of ASR will never get sympathy in society and usually find it harder to find a man who is willing to give them the time of day and patience. This is just reality. Most women are magnetically pulled to bad boys but most men are looking for invigorating company. but i think this whole match up of opposites and dark and bright is overdrawn in fiction, extremes don't work too well in reality. If any human being carried the kind of scars ASR did, he/she would need serious therapy before they are capable of managing a relationship.

Originally posted by: wesha

To be honest, I myself am not sure how to phrase that nagging question in my mind correctly. But after having read your reply, which actually does answer to my question, I have added some lines to the post from one of my post replies.

@bold. that is what I was getting at. For men, its like that M&B syndrome. The more angry and angsty and broody he is the more the women want to hold on to him. There is no end to the efforts put into 'softening him up' with love.

But for women, harboring such angst and letting yourself become broody as a result of it, is strictly no, no. You can happily forget about being tenderly handled by a man for very long.

This inequality in perspective is a societal concept that has its roots in how men and women have anthropologically evolved.

But, after having seen the desperate attempts of the younger girls in the forum to uphold such a concept themselves, I was wondering whether they realize that part in @red.

That Khushi can get equally scarred, that then she might as well start behaving like Arnav and that then no one will sympathize with her.

This is why I was asking for real life examples where such women have been able to find 'love' in the end. Maybe the younger people would then understand this truth.

Originally posted by: wesha

A Question I Wanted To Ask Again.

So, the post below was made a month back. After the scene where Arnav finds Khushi after that 'accident scare' and is pathetically at loss for the right words to express his feelings. The scene was simultaneously being shown with another scene where Aakash was telling Bua and Garima how everything will be alright with Payal and Maami so long as Arnav is behind them. Because Arnav was actually the real "Head of the Family".

The original post -

The man who is all glamour to the outside world looked exactly like a man who has indeed held the anchors of his family safely and strongly in his hands. His presence is unmistakable even in his absence.

He looked that man who has weared himself down, hardened himself for this role. And in the process has lost out on learning ways to show his softer emotions to hold on to his 'anchor' that he has now found in Khushi.

Felt really sorry for Arnav today. There are many of us who in reality have had to turn into hardened souls because of situations in life.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if the girl in the show was like 'Arnav'?

Do girls like that succeed in getting the passionate manly love in their lives that can be their true match?

So, That was the question I had asked back then.

After a friend revived this post with her comments, this question came back to my mind again.

A few of my friends who commented on this post below assured me that it doesn't much matter whether it is a boy or a girl, love happens the same way. A few of my other friends suggested me a show where I could get a positive idea of how such girls also find 'love' in their lives.

But to paraphrase one of my replies below.

Yes, ideally, it shouldn't matter much whether you are a boy or a girl...but with the notion that 'mills and boons' kind of romance is meant only for girls who look soft, innocent and in need of constant protection, I cannot help but get a sinking feeling that maybe, just 'maybe' with girls the scenario is different.

Also, in the show, although Khushi does look like a mills and boons heroine, she still is quite the feminist's delight...but that is also because she is supposed to be 18 and the real world still lies largely undiscovered to her. However that is fast changing.

At the rate the Diwali-like incidents are cropping up, and I am not even getting at the real financial problems and social problems that I can see in the girl's future, I doubt she will even look the same let alone feel the same after all this is over. Because, looking at Arnav now, it seems its a tough call for softening up such people. And with men, I am not sure if they would have so much patience with that girl the way Khushi is expected to have for Arnav.

So, if Khushi turned into Arnav, will everybody who is justifying Arnav's actions now and asking Khushi to put up with him, feel the same if she meted out this treatment to Arnav? Or to say N.K. for that matter, to take an example? Will we 'like' Khushi or 'like' N.K., who under those circumstances is being made to be very understanding and patient till he has completely lost everything he has to the whims and fancies of Khushi's "tragic past" because he loves her? Is that how it is in real life??

Not being gender-biased here, just pointing out the inherent difference in the mental make-up of men and women.

Since, this forum is an active congregation of so many 'girls' and 'women', I would really like to have a perspective on my question from a real life POV. And,please, the 'boys' and 'men' (if there are any) are absolutely welcome to put in their views on my question.

Originally posted by: serialjunkie

you can bet your month's salary that such a woman won't find much sympathy. Not to bring in other shows, Hitler didi does show a scarred woman, but even she is open to love and wants a partner in life, however, she has monumental responsibilities that prevent her from encourage any normal stirrings of love and desire in her. In that respect, her scars are eulogized and upheld for the better good of the family.

ASR's scars are not due to his current familial situation, its a relic of his past that he refuses to let go. all sexy broody things are great to consume on screen, but when you have to live that reality day in and day out, it quickly loses the sex-appeal and you'd crave for some normalcy in the relationship.

Originally posted by: Shilpa.Agarwal

it is much more difficult for a woman like arnav in this world...watch HITLER DIDI...when a man is arrogant, egoistic he becomes the charming Arnav Sing Raizada and when a woman is blunt or demands authority she is said to have attitude, no one will marry her and she is called Hitler...that's sad but true

times are changing and the gap is bridging no doubt, but even today in most parts of India a girl is not allowed to express her frustration in the way Arnav is doing, look at Anjali for eg., people can console and run around a sobbing, weeping Anjali but very few people can accept a woman who is violent, angry, rude or arrogant all the time.