The Pitfalls of Societal Pressure

incandescent

@incandescent

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Posted: 13 years ago

#91

I think we totally went off topic. Sorry Anu.

Edited by incandescent - 13 years ago

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Aisha

@asha...

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Posted: 13 years ago

#92

Originally posted by: sbk2
Getting back to the topic: societal pressure.

My best friend in college fell in love with my other good friend. It was one-sided. After a few years when she was being pressured to get married by her parents, she found the guts to tell my other friend that she loved him. He agreed to get married. It was opposed from both sides.
Finally the marriage happened.
Now both are married and have kids, but have severe problems in their lives because his parents still keep trying to separate them. I witnessed a huge showdown between them myself.

This is pressure for the opposite. Trying to keep them apart. In fact her parents also encouraged her to get divorced.
They both love each other, but the pressure is tearing them apart.😔

i just met someone a couple of days ago, who also fell in love in college, although their feelings were mutual ...but when they were ready to get married, the guys parents refused because she was too modern not from their race and so on...and after being together for like 8 years...their parents finally agreed, and she got married a month ago...although her family was like to her are you sure you wanna get married...and this happened in the uk, just shows stuff like this happens in the world

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incandescent

@incandescent

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Posted: 13 years ago

#93

@ asha

It's still hard for most people to except someone as a part of your family who belongs to a different race or culture.

@ all

I heard this incident from a friend. She has a cousin who fell in love with a girl who did not belong to the same economic background. The guys family is educated, well to do and quite influential in the area that they live. The girls family was indebted to the boys family in some way.

Well the two of them eloped and got married but when they came back the boys family pressurized them to get divorced and the boy agreed.

Since the girl belongs to a lower middle class family, she couldn't do much about it.

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Sunaina Mitra

@sunaina02

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Posted: 13 years ago

#94

Originally posted by: aquablue17

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Sunaina Mitra

@sunaina02

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Posted: 13 years ago

#95

Well I got married to someone who is from another country and religion though same culture and language. I just did not care what other people said.

By the way I work full time and manage a home and children and come to IF too 😃

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SillyPepper

@SillyPepper

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Posted: 13 years ago

#96

@ all - Nice discussion guys
I mean the only social message that SNS passes is how to cook...whenever I surf and catchaglimpse either steps of cooking or taunting not for cooking well is shown...Its Masterchef Gujarati...Sorry for not conveying it properly...*me feels like stupid*

And coming 2 the discussion, I hail from South India...Here there is a district which is known for female infanticide and the techniques followed...May b now the rate has decreased but the thing s not only infanticide/foeticide, the mentality is like the guys cannot accept a girl in a two wheeler overtaking them...they go to the extent of breaking traffic rules until they win over their mentally organized race
When a guy gets promoted @ young age it is due to hard work...if a gal does the same in no time people question her character
@ Shwetha-It is really hurting to know dat parents themselves spoil the life of their children, but I have seen some parents who accept for the sake grand child,yeah that may b rare!

Edited by cindrella255 - 13 years ago

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ChaiBiskoot

@ChaiBiskoot

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Posted: 13 years ago

#97

what u said about khushi marriage is perfect...poor girl...first dealing with her heartbreak..and then being forced into a marriage she will never approve of...for heaven's sake..kill shyam...

so ur anu?...u can call me nehuu...nice to meet u sweets...😊

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shybabe

@shybabe

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Posted: 13 years ago

#98

I agree with u...I really love your title...but i guess in todays day and age...it has moves beyond that...😃

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reima

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Posted: 13 years ago

#99

I agree with you about Khushi's characterization, she would have asked Shyam to move out before agreeing but maybe that's why she needed the double duty combo of her father plotzing and Arnav squashing her heart to succumb.

About society today, I disagree. If you happen to catch the current installment of KBC, every week you will find one or two women contestants who will come and tell you that they 1) studied against their villages wish or family's or 2) they could not continue with their studies because they had to get married. Our society has been transformed for those women who have come across their own personal financial independence, but those in the masses are still very much subject to the whims of parampara, izzat and sanskar.

I do not watch KBC- but it is also media mediated program where who knows what the constestants are told to say in public- it is certainly not unmediated. About society, it is not the 1980s now in India especially when Internet and tech are high in cities like Delhi and Lucknow where Khushi is from, the influence is perceptible. I agree the traditions are strong in the smaller cities- but I doubt that too, having travelled extensively in the smaller towns in the North and South. In the 1980s girls were still tradition bound, they did not have NGos fighting their case, dowry deaths were at a height. Now, even servant girls working in cities have a greater voice. I do agree that in smaller villages it is highly tradition bound and girls from there have a struggle - but this is shown as a city serial not a small village based serial. the message therefore is erronous If serials are trying to convey some social messages, they should do it in a realistic sense- with Khushi showing some resistance and some critical thinking.

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reima

@reima

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Posted: 13 years ago

#100

I agree with you about Khushi's characterization, she would have asked Shyam to move out before agreeing but maybe that's why she needed the double duty combo of her father plotzing and Arnav squashing her heart to succumb.

About society today, I disagree. If you happen to catch the current installment of KBC, every week you will find one or two women contestants who will come and tell you that they 1) studied against their villages wish or family's or 2) they could not continue with their studies because they had to get married. Our society has been transformed for those women who have come across their own personal financial independence, but those in the masses are still very much subject to the whims of parampara, izzat and sanskar.

Thanks fo rtelling me about KBC

do not watch KBC- but it is also media mediated program where who knows what the constestants are told to say in public- it is certainly not unmediated. About society, it is not the 1980s now in India especially when Internet and tech are high in cities like Delhi and Lucknow where Khushi is from, the influence is perceptible. I agree the traditions are strong in the smaller cities- but I doubt that too, having travelled extensively in the smaller towns in the North and South. In the 1980s girls were still tradition bound, they did not have NGos fighting their case, dowry deaths were at a height. Now, even servant girls working in cities have a greater voice. I do agree that in smaller villages it is highly tradition bound and girls from there have a struggle - but this is shown as a city serial not a small village based serial. the message therefore is erronous If serials are trying to convey some social messages, they should do it in a realistic sense- with Khushi showing some resistance and some critical thinking.

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The Pitfalls of Societal Pressure - Page 10

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