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He knows he shouldn't hope.. but he still did, again and again.And each time it hurt more than the previous.
' badao ko aap khethe hai'
He said her the first they met. And he thought..
' she will recognise me right away. I use to tell her that all the time. I don't think any one other than me ever said that to her. She got to remember that. Right? I changed a lot. It's been 16 years. Still you can't forget some one who is your friend. More importantly you can't forget a friend whom you betrayed.
He is standing there half expecting to hear his name from her trembling lips. He is gazing into her eyes searching for the spark of recognisation . But nothing happened. He was not sure which hurt him more. That she didn't remember his friendship or that she didn't remember her betrayal.
And every time he said ' badao ko sap khethe hai' he hoped. And every time it hurt.
'chandini fareb hai, chandini dhoka hai'
He said to her face and he thought..
'Remember chandini ? How many people did u betray? I stand infront of you and I call you a 'dhoka' and you simply say that Iam wrong at judging you. Don't you stop and think why would I call u a betrayer. Don't you remember people you betrayed. Don't you remember Dev. Don't you remember me ,chandini ?May be it was never worth remembering to you. May be it how's it's meant to be. Last time you destroyed my world as I failed to see your true nature. This time it's my turn, I will destroy ur world you made it easy for me by failing to recognise the true me. See, it played for your advantage , he consoled himself. But still he hoped so it still hurts.
' hamesha kuch na kuch choot lagathi hao'
'kya Bola aapne'
And his heart skipped a beat . He thought...
' Did she remember that ? Remembered how he always use to ask her to be extra careful bcoz she always got hurt . Never checks her surroundings lost in her own thoughts. Like now. He warned her about the bed still she got hit. And he said it just like that. Out of habit. And she asked him to say it again. May be she remembers. Let's see .
He diverted the topic . He held his breath. Hoping she won't be distracted that easily.She will prove him wrong. She Will join all the points. She is smart. And then she will know it's her Dev. But it didn't happen she had her reasons for coming here.
' Mr. Jo bhi app is naam hai'
How much he wanted to tell her 'Dev' . But no , there is no more Dev neither in her world or in his world so he stood up moved close, saw her in the eye and said
' Advay Singh raizada '
And it hurt. It hurt that she believed it. She gazed into his eyes and still believed when he claimed to be advay.
' mein tho tumhara Purana ashique hoon.'
He said her standing close..
' There I admitted it. What else you want me to say to make younrealise it's me. How can you be so blind. I choose our room. It's been mine , it's yours it's ours. Don't you think there might be a reason. Or you just think that I did this to annoy you? Come on chandini I told you ten times , Iam here to take revenge. Iam your ashique. Still you choose to not recognise me.
It's hurts. Everytime it hurts more. I see you everyday and I see the chandini I know. You have changed but I can still recognise you among thousands. Every passing day makes me realise how well I know you. But you! , I gave you so many chances and you still fail. More like u fail me.
' mein janta hua aap kaun hai, ab Sab samaj mein aagaya'
His is not concerned that she got to know his identity. Rather he felt like someone lifted a heavy weight off his chest.
' I can breathe easy now. Finally she knows. It took her so long but she did it. She joined everything. She knows Iam Dev. He felt happy. Of course this doesn't change anything. It's good that she knows Iam Dev. She should know what hit her. His plans are still applicable. He will have his revenge. She calling him 'Dev' cannot change anything... Right? Say my name chandini.. he wished holding his breath. I hope to hear it from you... Hoped from a long time!
She didn't.
' tumko baatha chala ki mein de..'
'Dave Matthew'
He took deep breath. ' it hurts so bad that it pains physically. As if someone punched his heart.
He smiled.
There is nothing he can do. So he smiled.
' will you ever know me , chandini ? ' he thought.' well, there is no loss in hoping. It's just that every time I hope and you fail to recognise it feels like I just lost a bit of me. You rob me from myself chandini . But I still hope and still hurts. Everytime .
You know what inspired this thought . It's barun sobti eyes. When he said ' mein tumare purane ashique hoon' when he said this line. I literally saw hope in eyes. I saw it. I am not imagining it really there. And she failed. There is disappointment. Just go back watch the episode and tell there isn't. You can't say that . Because his eyes said he hoped. Me getting emotional here.😳
Sorry! So , what did the post made you feel. I really like to know. Please share that in your comments. Thank you.😊
Arjun
