It had been Omkara's intention to bring to her mind the time he'd called her his wife in front of the crowd just about half an hour earlier but to his dismay, her mind went to the only other time he'd called her his wife in front of the people of Bareilly
'Ho gayi shaadi? Ban gayi ye meri patni?...'
"Patni to aap ne humein us din bhi kahaa tha sab ke saamne Omkaraji... aur das minute baad mud kar humein neech aur giri hui aurat ka khitaab be de diya aap ne... baat kehne aur us baat ko dil se maanne mein bohot faraq hota hai"
The man who'd stood tall before her slumped into the threadbare sofa once more
"Mujhe nahin pata tumhein kaise samjhaaoon Gauri... I really want to... I mean... mujhe... humein..."
With a frustrated huff, Omkara got up from the sofa and started to pace in front of Gauri, his expression and gestures growing wilder as his pacing increased in turn with his frustration at himself.
"I don't know why this is happening... I really..."
"Rehne dijiye Omkaraji... hum samajhte hain ki aap ko is rishte ke baare mein baat karne mein itni problem kyun hai. Humara-"
He cut her off mid-word because he was done listening to her talk about how she knew what he felt about their non-relationship... especially when he himself didn't fully understand what his feelings were on that subject.
"Ruko Gauri... you have no idea. Y-"
Gauri's heart told her she would have to stop him soon before this devolved into some sort of an emotional downward spiral for Omkara. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him or use their relationship as a bargaining chip... she'd long since accepted that Omkara couldn't create feelings where none existed and didn't want him to feel beholden to have any sort of feelings for her when he wasn't ready yet.
She'd been trying to save his stubborn self from self-destructing so far... but perhaps that wasn't the way to go with this situation. Flashes of their past confrontations ran through her mind and Gauri understood that to make this man face his insecurities once and for all, she would have to push his buttons a bit. It might make him hate her momentarily but would be ultimately better for both of them if he was able to let everything out and resolve this. Whether it resulted in a proper beginning of their relationship or in a supposedly mutual separation, Gauri was prepared for both eventualities though her heart still yearned for one solution way more than the other.
"Omkaraj-"
"Meri baat abhi poori nahi hui hai Gauri!"
The growing frustration in his voice gave her the requisite impetus to push him that little bit more.
"Magar hum aap ki koi baat sunna nahin chaahte Omkaraji... Aap ko jab bolna tha, aap ne kuch bola nahin. Aap ko humein apni patni kehte hue sharam aati hai... hum aap ke laayak nahin hain na?"
Once again, before Omkara could even start to reply, she continued on without a pause
"Kahaan aap aur kahaan hum? Oberoi khaandaan ke bete... itne bade itne mashoor artist aur hum thehre... Bareilly ki ek sadhaaran chiraiyya jise uske maa baap ka naam bhi nahin pata. Kaise kisi se kehte hi hum aap ki patni hain? Hum to angrezi bhi nahin jaante..."
The mocking note in her voice was the straw that broke the camel's back
"Chup karo Gauri! You have no idea what you're talking about! Just-"
"Kyun Omkaraji? Sach hamesha sunne mein kadwa hi lagta hai. Magar kabhi na kabhi to sach ka saamna karna hi padega na? Hum ne kar liya. Aap bhi humare rishte ki sachhaayi ka saamna kar lein to accha hoga"
Omkara turned to glare at her, his eyes burning into hers and Gauri felt she'd reached her mark. This would either work very well in her favor or burn every bridge that could've ever been built between them.
"Kya sacchai... kis sach ki baat karti rehti ho tum? Ye sach ki mujhe pata nahin kab ya naise magar tum meri life ka hissa ban gayi ho? Ya ye ki tumhein gaye do din bhi nahin hue aur main tumhare peeche paagalon ki tarah chalaa aaya kyunki tumhare bina sab kuch adhoora lag raha tha? Yahaan aa kar poori Bareilly ke saamne tumhein apni biwi bulaakar, gundon se bachaakar, ghar le jaane ke liye aaya hoon aur tum ho ki bas apne hi dialoguebaazi mein atki hui ho."
When he was done with his rant, his frustrations expressed to a certain extent and as a result much more in control now, Omkara was surprised to be faced with utter silence. His nervousness growing as the silence lengthened between them, Omkara turned around once more to make sure Gauri hadn't fainted or something because this would be one of the very few times he could remember in his association with the little woman where she'd been silent in such a situation. What he saw had his lips tugging into a reluctant smile.
Gauri was shocked, astonished, shaken, stirred and every adjective denoting utter surprise. When she'd goaded him into his frustration fueled rant before, never could she have expected to hear what she did from him. The most she expected from him was a confession of reluctant interest... maybe a half-hearted promise to work at their almost in ruins relationship. But this was beyond what even her wildest imaginations could've conjured up. Gauri surreptitiously pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming... only her movements weren't that secretive and her jatadhari, who'd just turned to see what was going on with her, caught her in the act of pinching herself
"Kya hua? Finally Gauri Kumari Sharma ke paas kuch aur nahin hai kehne ke liye?"
"Omkaraji... hum ne ye sab aap se kuch kehelvaane ke liye nahin kiya. Humein aap se koi zabardasti nahin karni. Aap samajh rahe hain hum kya kehna chaahte hain?"
"No Gauri. I can't go on like this... we can't go on like this. Jab tum ghar pe nahin thi to pata hai mera kya haal ho gaya tha? Do din poore do saal ki tarah lage. Pata hai maine tumhein kitni baar dhoonda ghar pe without remembering ki tum Bareilly mein ho? I don't know what this is... ye kya hai hum donon ke beech, ye to nahin jaanta... magar ye zaroor jaanta hoon ki tum meri life ka hissa ban chuki ho Gauri. Ab tumhare bina sab kuch incomplete lagta hai"
"Hum... aap... ye aap kya keh rahe hain Omkaraji... hum..."
"Agar main jo bhi mehsoos karta hoon... wo sab tumhein bata sakta, to humare beech ye problems nahin aati. Tum ne theek kaha tha us din Gauri... hum donon abhi tak ek doosre ko samajh hi nahin paaye hain. Kyunki hum ne koshish hi nahin ki ek doosre ke jazbaaton ya bhaavnaaon ko samajhne ki. I didn't try to connect with you and I didn't let you in either. Meri life ke baare mein maine tumhein kuch nahin bataaya, tumhari life ke baare mein poocha nahin. But believe me Gauri... main jaanna chaahta hoon... samajhna chaahta hoon aur kisi hadh tak I think I've started to understand."
"Aaj jab maine tumhein us gunde se argue karte hue suna... I heard things about our first meeting in Bareilly that I didn't know till now. Us idiot ne kaha ki tumhare chacha aur chachi ne tumhein Kaali Thakur ko bech diya?! And that Kaali Thakur put you in chains! Agar mujhe pata hota... nahin... agar maine dhyaan diya hota to none of this would've happened. I'm really sorry Gauri... Mujhe pata hai mere sorry se kuch badalne waala nahin hai. Magar tum se apologize kiye bina nahin reh sakta ab. Tum mujhe maaf karo ya na karo... I'll make sure ki aage se tumhari life mein kisi bhi problems ka saamna tumhein akele nahin karna padega. I promise you that."
Omkara gently reached out and taking her hand in his, brought it up... twining their fingers together and resting their clasped hands on his chest, squeezed her hand slightly to emphasize his feelings. Gauri could only stare into his dark chocolate eyes that spoke so much more than his words could ever convey and she moved closer to him, as if staying away from him was beyond her control.
"Nahin Omkaraji... humein kabhi aap ke sorry ki zaroorat nahin thi... hum bas ye chahte the ki aap ko sacchai ka pata chale. Humare beech jo bhi galat fehmiyaan hain, hum unhein door karna chaahte the. Aap ne humein sab ke saamne apni patni kehkar humara maan rakha, us ke liye shukriya magar humein waisa kuch kabhi nahin chaahiye tha. Humein bas yahi chaahiye ki aap logon se kahein na kahein, apne dil mein aap humein apni patni maanein. Aap humein apna maanein... duniya ki humein parvaah nahin hai Omkaraji."
Using the hand that was already trapped in his, Omkara brought Gauri closer to him and wrapped his arm around her waist. Gauri could feel the warmth of his skin seeping through his shirt as his heart thumped reassuringly against her hand. For the first time in their relationship, Gauri knew she could give in to the temptation that presented itself and she scooted a little bit closer, resting her head against his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath her ear. Closing her eyes, Gauri sighed almost inaudibly, her body relaxing into his, knowing that she was finally where she was supposed to be.
Omkara on the other hand, felt like he'd finally found his way after being lost for a long time. The light at the end of his dark and long tunnel was warm and welcoming... her petite body against his making Omkara feel like his whole self had just been dipped in liquid sunshine. Every part of him was finally relaxing, perhaps knowing instinctively that he had come home and found his other half.
"Gauri?"
"Hmmm?..."
Gauri was way too comfortable in his embrace and had no intentions of moving for a while now. So she just moved a tiny bit, giving herself room to look up into his eyes.
"Main shaayad ye poochne ke laayak nahin hoon magar... kya tum mujhe ek mauka de sakti ho humare rishte ko naye sire se shuru karne ka? Kya tum mujhse shaadi karogi?"
"Omkaraji... ye kya keh rahe hain aap? Humari shaadi to ho chuki"
"Haan... magar wo shaadi majboori mein haalaathon ki wajah se hui thi. Us shaadi mein na tumhari marzi thi aur na hi meri khushi. Aur us rishte se main itne mahinon se ladtaa aaya hoon... I don't want to make that relationship right Gauri... Mujhe tumhare saath ek nayi shuruaat karni hai. Poore dil se chaahta hoon ki hum donon is relationship ko ek naya mauka dein. To bolo... kya decision hai tumhara wifey? Wahi galati dohraana chaahti ho?"
"Hum to aap ko pehle din se hi dil se apna pati maante hain Omkaraji... Aur hum isi asha mein rehte the ki aap kisi din humein aur humare rishte ko maan de sakenge. Aap humare saath rishta jodna chaahte hain, wo bhi dil se... is se badi khushi ki baat aur kya ho sakti hai humare liye?"
Gauri's eyes filled with happy tears and she rested her forehead on his broad chest once again, reveling in the freedom to do so... in her right to be this close to him. For the first time, Gauri felt like she could claim her rights on this man... This wonderful frustratingly complex man who'd become the center of her universe and who'd finally learned his way home.
Her spirits rising into playfulness, Gauri giggled joyfully, the sound warming every corner of her yet-to-be-husband's heart.
"Agar ghar mein ek aur shaadi ka naam bhi liya to Rudy bhaiyya pagal ho jaayenge"
"Aur agar tum ne mujhse dobara shaadi nahin ki to main paagal ho jaaoonga... aur ghar ke baaki saare logon ko bhi paagal bana doonga. To bolo... Rudy ya main aur poora ghar? Kise paagal banana hai biwi?"
Now that his brain had caught up with his heart and understood that Gauri was his other half, his better half, he couldn't stop himself from reiterating their connection. And it didn't hurt to see Gauri's smile grow and blush deepen every time he called her his wife in some form or other.
Her reply came out muffled because her face was smushed into his chest still, but Omkara wouldn't complain for the world. He had his world in his arms and he'd never been more satisfied with his life till that moment.
"Bechaare Rudy bhaiyya... hum sab ko milkar un ka khayaal acchi tarah se rakhna padega"
His only response to her cryptic statement was a hitch in his breath before he squeezed the heck out of her, his arms banded around her slim figure like letting her go meant losing her.
"Thank you Gauri... mujhe... humein ek aur mauka dene ke liye. I promise ki main tumhein is duniya ki har khushi dene ki koshish karoonga"
"Aap humare hain aur hum aapke... yahi humare liye duniya ki sabse badi khushi hai Omkaraji..."
For the first time, Gauri's arms went around his waist of their own volition, pulling herself infinitesimally closer to him. Every part of her was fitted like a long lost puzzle piece against every part of him. They fit together like they were meant to be and both of them finally knew the feeling of being complete. Sighing in unison, Gauri and Omkara nestled closer, enjoying the pure unadulterated joy of finding their soulmate.
"Gauri... main kuch kahoon?"
"Hmmm..."
She nodded quietly, nuzzling her face into his shirt like a cat, a hum of satisfaction leaving her lips in response to the feeling.
"I know ki hum abhi take k doosre ko poori tarah se nahin jaante ya samajhte... I know that you have understood and accepted this relationship a lot before I even considered this a relationship. Lekin main tum se waada karna chaahta hoon... ki humare rishte ko poori tarah se nibhaaoonga. I know... actually... I don't know. Kuch poochoonga to bura nahin maanogi na?"
"Poochiye Omkaraji..."
"Kya tum... Wo... darasal..."
"wo... darasal... kya Omkaraji?"
Gauri's teasing grin at their flipped circumstances made a shiver of delight dance down his spine and Omkara grinned back in acknowledgement before the question fairly burst out of him
"Kya tum mujhse pyar karti ho Gauri?"
"KYA?!"
"Wo... I wasn't sure. Mujhe maloom hai ki... tum mujhe apna pati maanti ho. Magar mujhe nahin pata ki mere baare mein tumhari feelings kya hain. To... kya... Do you love me?"
The nervousness in his eyes and his restless fidgeting gave her to understand that her not-yet-husband really was interested in hearing her answer and was worried about what it might be.
"Wo... hum... Omkaraji... humein sach mein nahin pata."
"What?!"
"Sach... nahin pata humein ki hum aap ke liye kya mehsoos karte hain. Hum ne kisi se pyar kiya hi nahin. Ye pata hai ki kisi aur ke liye aisi bhaavnaayen humare mann mein kabhi nahin aayi... Salmanji ke liye bhi nahin aur hum to unke bohot bade fan hain. Aur humein lagta hai ki is janam mein aur kisi ke liye humare mann mein aisi wo... feelings nahin aayengi. Ab ye pyaar hai ya kuch aur... wo humein nahin pata. Hum bas itna jaante hain ki jab aap nahin hote to kuch accha nahin lagta. Jab hum aap ke saath hote hain to lagta hai jaise jo bhi ho, hum uska saamna kar sakenge"
Hearing her describe her feelings for him, echoing everything he felt for her, made Omkara realize just what a treasure he'd been about to let go out of his life. Staring into her doe-like eyes, Omkara knew one thing for sure... he wanted to sleep every night with her beautiful visage being the last thing he saw and the first thing every morning too. Lost in her kohl-lined eyes, Omkara mumbled something almost without realizing it
"Zindagi ke safar mein humsafar ho tum... aayega zidd pe to qayamat hogi, yeh ishq abhi masoom"
As her eyes widened in wonderment, Omkara suddenly knew he had the perfect words within his grasp.
"I don't know if I am in love with you yet Gauri... but I know this. I want to fall in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life crazily in love with you. I want to grow old with you... fight with you, make up with you, deal with our extra dramatic family with you... I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life... with you. Tumhare bagair ab se ek pal bhi nahin guzaarna chaahta hoon."
Gauri and Omkara were as close to each other as they'd ever been... and it was the most natural thing in the world to bend just that little bit and find her rosebud lips with his own. For a millisecond, Gauri's entire being stiffened before she fairly melted into him. Her lips opened upon a sigh and Omkara took that as tacit permission to deepen their first kiss.
As his lips parted from hers eons later, both of their pupils blown wide, their lips kiss swollen and cheeks reddened, Gauri whispered
"Ghar le chaliye humein Omkara... Take me home."
All Omkara could do was to fit his lips over hers once again, making up for all the time lost when they could've been making out like teenagers before he lifted her up in his arms, her happy shriek echoing in his ears and his own happy grin permanently etched on his lips as he walked out of the tiny home.
He had his wife in his arms, her head comfortably pillowed on his shoulder and her slim arms securely around his neck as if this was a regular thing between them... something Omkara decided then and there would definitely become a regular thing between them.
They made their way out of the house and into the sunlight, their whole life filled with love, laughter and togetherness waiting for them.
______________________________________
Kumkum Bhagya
