Posted:
Hi everyone! Wrote this in a hurry. As the title suggests, this is partially based on the Gunaah song from Bloodmoney. Lemme tell ya, that song would have suited RiKara situation SO well only if CV's had handled it well. So thi is basically Omkara after Gauri leaves.
PS: quite sleepy, lemme know if any confusion. I'll reread it! I'm gonna reply to all your comments and messages soon. Thank you for all the love and appreciation you guys keep giving me.
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The door swings shut with a loud noise and he slithers to the floor the moment it does. There is a loud clatter as paintbrushes fall off the table and scatter around. He doesn't notice them as he stares at the now-complete painting of the woman who occupies his every thought. The lifeless painting doesn't even do justice to her beauty, he realises belatedly. The shine from her eyes is missing. Her smile is limited to her lips, dying out somewhere before reaching her eyes.
This is what you did to her. You took everything from her. I cannot believe you could do that, Om.
Shivaay's words echo through the silent studio even though he is long gone now. But the harshness in his voice coupled with the disappointment somehow manages to make a home for themselves here, taunting him every passing second. They join the pain and sorrow that have been ever-present there quite gladly, inflicting new wounds on him.
So this is what it feels like: To have your siblings choose your wife over you, someone inside him snickers. He keeps his eyes glued to the card that has fallen down with the brushes, not really seeing anything.
********
Shivaay carefully keeps his gaze averted from the obscene amount of paintings and sketches scattered around the room. He doesn't need to see it, because seeing his brother draw Gauri in every aspect he has seen her would weaken his resolve. And he cannot afford it. Not now, not when he can clearly see how broken his brother already is.
"Shivaay, please..." His voice begs and he almost wants to give in. almost. Omkara moves to touch his shoulder but he takes a step back hurriedly.
"No. not now, not ever", Shivaay somehow manages to maintain the note of finality in his voice.
"She's my wife!" Omkara screams at him.
"Only in name. and anyway, there's no proof", he replies back calmly.
"The whole of Bareilly is witness to our wedding. She can't deny it," Omkara looks up at him with a fire blazing in his eyes.
"She can't. Maybe," Shivaay nods non-committally and places the card on the table where a sculpture that looks suspiciously like his sister-in-law sits half-finished.
"I'm going to find her, whatever it takes. I don't need your help," Omkara announces.
"Well, I'm glad you don't need my help because I'm going to make sure you don't succeed," he turns around abruptly to stare at his taller brother. His hair is awry, a paint-splattered shirt on him as his eyes scream his plight. Too bad for him that they fall on deaf ears.
"You can't stop me," he says with a defiant tilt of his chin.
"I'll do anything and everything to make sure that you don't even get to be on the same continent as her," Shivaay's voice holds a promise.
He doesn't have an answer to that because he knows that absolutely no one can compete with Shivaay Singh Oberoi so he just holds his challenging eyes. Eventually Shivaay gives in by taking a step back.
"Soumya wanted to come herself. Rudra told her that her bade baal wale bhaiya doesn't exist anymore," he utters the words while opening the door and leaves without a last glance at the broken man he leaves behind.
********
He hadn't missed her initially. Not to this extent. In fact, a part of him had been secretly glad that she had left saving him from apologising and repenting. The part that held his male pride which had never really surfaced before. That part of him had also been happy that she is away from him, somewhere he won't be able to hurt her like he had previously. That she is someplace safe, living her life in peace like she deserved to. He uses both the excuses as a shield everyday after waking up from restless sleep that are a constant now. But as the days pass, cracks become distinct in his armour, chinks that slowly become hard to ignore.
Cham. Cham. Cham.
He misses not hearing the telltale sign of her arrival or departure. The soft tinkling sound that no other woman in the house made. The sound had been the cause of many late night disturbances when she would turn around restlessly in her sleep.
Red. Violet. Blue. Green. Yellow.
The loud and dramatic colours go missing. His wardrobe is back to the monochromatic colours that it has always been filled with. Her sleeveless green dress isn't there but the dupatta for it is crumpled up behind his jackets.
Glucose buiscuit wali chaai
No matter how much he moaned to her about it, she knew he liked it. It's the only way he can have his preferred beverage. The habit is broken when she leaves, he can barely even stand to look at the tea in his fancy mug. Instead he gulps down tasteless coffee.
Silence. Utter silence.
Silence reigns his room, just like it has all the time before he took the life-changing trip to Bareilly. But it had changed when she had come to him. The silence had given way to conatant chatter and obnoxious music that he could never make the head or tail of. Now she's gone and all he is left with is silence.
Her.
That's it. It takes him two weeks to realise it. He misses Gauri. He misses everything that she had brought to his life before leaving it back to its clean slate version. It takes one more week for him to realise that he misses her to the point where nothing except finding her matters anymore. Not the success and praise for his exhibition, not the fact that his brother is about to lose the only woman he loves, not that Mr. Oberoi seems to be back in his mother's life. Nothing holds his attention unless it involves the woman in question.
His last shred of hope, of help from his influential brother had went away within the first week his wife had left him. Shivaay had refused to help him search her after giving him an earful on his thoughts about his 'oh-so-perfect brother' who couldn't do anything wrong. Rudra and Annika distanced themselves while his parents and daadi refuse to even look at him. Eventually, after failing to find her he had taken refuge in his art-studio, choosing to wallow in his own grief alone. It is his way of punishing himself, for letting her go. For being cruel. For being as dumb as someone could be. It is his way of hurting himself, by giving in to the pain instead of choosing the tempting path of drugs. He distances himself from everyone he cares about, building walls and being unapproachable just to dig in to his wounds to make them hurt harder.
It does waver a bit though on the rare occasions that Shivaay come to visit because of his hope that his brother will someday give in and lead him to his wife. But his brother stays as stubborn as he has always been, choosing to side with his wife instead of him.
He stares at the lime-green dupatta lying on the mattress, wishing nothing more than to find the owner and to hold on to her with all his might. To never let go.
Tum to yaadon ke hawale kar ke mujhko chal diye
Meri majburi hai, mai bhoolta kuch bhi nahi
*******
There's a part 2 which is about Gauri on the works. I hope to complete it and post it soon. Did you guys like this?
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
