One Shot: Miles To Go--Anika's Journey (Completed-3rd Feb)

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jarir2010

@jarir2010

Inactive

Posted: 8 years ago

#21

after reading im now emotionally drained.

😭😭

awesome👏👏

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Anu

@chottekikhushi

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#22

Navin, I love you but this was too much!!

I cant ever imagine Ani doing what I think she is doing...leaving behind Sahil and killing herself is not something I can ever imagine her doing...Its too much!!

I agree it has been terrible for her!! She has lost too much but if she has been through hell and back, if she really loved Shivaay, why would she kill herself?? To help him start anew with someone else who might be, according to his NKK ideologies, a better match?? Or because she has been hurt too much by him?? Even then, she would know that the man would be too guilty to go on and would blame himslef for her suicide right?? And Saahil, he may get 3 new brothers and 2 sister in laws or all the relatives in the world but 'alright' is not something he will ever be if Anika leaves him and kills herself!! If he ever ever found out, it would destroy him too...

So, as brilliant as your story was( including the tear jerking thoughts of Ani on her chappals to the happy endings that everyone got and even the mention of that lovely daffodil top that she wore) I will forget atleast the ending of this story and choose a happier one for myself...where she takes Saahil and then they leave together...and somehow against all odds they make it!!

Edited by chottekikhushi - 8 years ago

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zeherili

@zeherili

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#23

This was an utter delight to read, oh how I wish you hadn' t ended at a cliff hanger. The details, the story, THE TITLE. Oh how I wish she hadn't left Sahil, and how she'd taken the chappals but god do I feel that she's finally on her way to freedom to being Anika, the woman she wants to be.

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: chottekikhushi
Navin, I love you but this was too much!!
I cant ever imagine Ani doing what I think she is doing...leaving behind Sahil and killing herself is not something I can ever imagine her doing...Its too much!!
I agree it has been terrible for her!! She has lost too much but if she has been through hell and back, if she really loved Shivaay, why would she kill herself?? To help him start anew with someone else who might be, according to his NKK ideologies, a better match?? Or because she has been hurt too much by him?? Even then, she would know that the man would be too guilty to go on and would blame himslef for her suicide right?? And Saahil, he may get 3 new brothers and 2 sister in laws or all the relatives in the world but 'alright' is not something he will ever be if Anika leaves him and kills herself!! If he ever ever found out, it would destroy him too...
So, as brilliant as your story was( including the tear jerking thoughts of Ani on her chappals to the happy endings that everyone got and even the mention of that lovely daffodil top that she wore) I will forget atleast the ending of this story and choose a happier one for myself...where she takes Saahil and then they leave together...and somehow against all odds they make it!!

Originally posted by: samaz95
You made me cry! I have this huge lump in my throat, wanting to let out .I don't know how you do it, but this was absolutely beautiful.
It was beautifully complete in its own angsty heartbreaking way, but I can't help but hope for a little more of this.
Of Shivay's perspective, or maybe just something to soothe the hurt I feel on Anika's behalf; a little silver lining maybe.
Now coming to the basis of this OS, I truly don't understand their relationship today, why she is still staying with him, what she means to him and if the writers are just giving us their scenes for Trp!
Because to be actually honest, if push comes to shove, I truly belive he will not choose her.
He hasn't accepted her, nor does he protect her from the stupid family drama, except for a line or two sometimes... So I really don't know where they are headed.
Anika nowadays looks pretty pathetic to me, so unlike the girl we first saw. I could feel that in your story too, how she agrees to leave Sahil, because the one we saw in the beginning of the show wouldn't have ever done that; she would have fought tooth and nail.
In the show and here, I don't really understand what has made her this way, her love for and believe in Shivay or her broken spirit.
It's sad hown she still isn't able to decipher him, que leaving Omru and Saumya as guardians.
I'm sorry for stretching this so long, and a bit off topic maybe, but I just can't get where they are headed with the everyday insults of that poor girl and what this guy really wants from her ?
Where is the fiery strong girl we all knew !:(

Hello! There you guys are! I was so missing you! Loved your comments, now that's what I call a discussion! You are b0th asking the same thing, so I'm responding to you both in one post--you don't know who this Anika is. Truthfully, I don't, ether. And I don't think she recognizes herself. Its truly love-as-death thing, for me. The Shivaay onscreen right now, just 3 weeks into their marriage, is a man who has already sucked her hollow. She loves him, poor thing. But does he love her? I ask you--does it matter, right now?

His own words tell her-- she knows it wont matter, even if he does love her. It wont matter what he feels for her. The vampiric nature of the Oberois, of the society that SSO worships will drain any love. It will make him resent her, hate his love, be embarrassed by it. And there must be enough of the old Anika left in this new one, whose pride wont let her stay here, where she will be despised.

If anything is even left after Shivaay is done taking and taking and taking--the Anika left might just decide to leave for the both of them. Leave forever, so at least one of them is free from a love that burns and hurts, but does not give respect or peace.

She is so selfless--wont she give until she has nothing left to offer, but herself? To answer who this girl in my story is, I'm going to plagiarize myself because IF wont let me type things again without timing me out. I wrote this in Annz's post, which is kind of my inspiration for writing the Anika here:

I don't get people demanding that Anika walk out of OM. Walk out and go where? Do what? Where will this newly vulnerable Anika go? Physically, he has robbed her of her home. Emotionally, he has stolen her very heart. Psychologically, she is terrified of losing him, she responds to his needs before she draws breath. Financially, he has crippled her in debt. Where will we (or she) find the old Anika? How will she come back? When SSO put the mangalsutra on Anika, he tied her to himself like a lamb chained to the slaughterhouse.

Anika can no more remove the yoke around her neck than a lamb can. She was first bound by her faith in marriage, and is now bound by the needs of her husband. But he has not acknowledged her need as his wife, her right to his respect or to acquire his name as her protection. And he wont. He doesn't need to. And she wont make him. The old Anika would have. But in her bitter despair, this trapped woman has decided-- she cannot ask for her rights, or demand her title. She has nothing left of herself. Not even the responsibility of her own brother. He has taken that, too. And whatever she did have of herself, did earn for herself -- he has obliterated.

Despair and hopelessness does strange things to people. My girl is this Anika. Six months later.

Edited by napstermonster - 8 years ago

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Anu

@chottekikhushi

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: napstermonster

Hello! There you are! I was so missing you! Loved your comment, now that's what I call a discussion! You don't know who this Anika is. I don't. ether. and I don't think she recognize herself, either. Its truly love-as-death type of stuff.. The Shivaay onscreen now, just 3 weeks into their marriage is a man who has sucked her hollow. The vampiric nature of the Oberois, will drain her of the rest. If anything is even left after Shivaay is done taking and taking and taking. Until she has nothing left to offer, but herself. To answer who this girl in my story is, I'm going to plagiarize myself because IF wont let me type things without timing me out. I wrote this in Annz's post, which is kind of my inspiration for writing Anika here:

I don't get people demanding that Anika walk out of OM. Walk out and go where? Do what? Where will this newly vulnerable Anika go? Physically, he has robbed her of her home, of her way out. Emotionally, he has stolen her very heart. Psychologically, she is terrified of losing him, she responds to his needs before she draws breath. Financially, he has crippled her in debt. Where will we (or she) find the old Anika? How will she come back? When SSO put the mangalsutra on Anika, he tied her to himself like a lamb chained to the slaughterhouse.

Anika can no more remove the yoke around her neck than a lamb can. She was first bound by her faith in marriage, and is now bound by the needs of her husband. But he has not acknowledged her need as his wife, her right to his respect or to acquire his name as her protection. And he wont. He doesn't need to. And she wont make him. The old Anika would have. But in her bitter despair, this trapped woman has decided-- she cannot ask for her rights, or demand her title. She has none, and whatever she did have, did earn -- he has obliterated.

My girl is this Anika. Six months later.

I missed you more, me along with most of the forum Navin!!😆

I see what you mean...I really do, because somewhere in the back of my mind, I see a parallel between Jhaanvi and Tej to Ani and Shivaay...no not that Shivaay will ever sink to his level...but I am talking of the 'fighting for your rights' bit...I can easily believe that Jhaanvi too was a feisty firecracker once and for the lack of another word, more alive than she is now but was robbed of her dreams one by one till she stopped fighting, for her kids, for her rights and more recently, for for her life.

But here's where I think Ani is different...Ani has been through so much already...she had an abusive childhood, lost her only sister in terrible circumstances and knows what its like living with the guilt of somehow being responsible for being the cause of someone's death, albeit indirectly...So would she let Shivaay and Saahil go through this??! The man who couldn't breathe without her and the boy who once begged her to leave him with his cruel aunt so that she could have a better life?

Also, since Saahil is only around 6 years old, she would have faced extreme loneliness for a big part of her life before he came into her life...that too with the pain of having to be responsible for the death of a loved one, having no reason to live at all...and yet, she had fought.and later made Saahil her reason for living!

So why now? Why at the end of 6 months? Because she would stop being Shivaay's wife in secret too? Because he never gave her the rights anyway right?!! I would think with the amount that Shivaay reiterates every day that the wedding and the relation means nothing to him, the 6 months wouldn't matter to her and she wouldn't feel like a loser then and be able to walk away because she had lost in the very beginning itself, when she thought that the battle wasn't worth fighting for anyway!! Atleast I would like to believe this!!

Also, would Shivaay let this happen, stay this obtuse and cruel for soo long that she withers away and ultimately drive her to suicide?? God, I would like to believe that he wouldn't!!

But then again, these are my reasons for believing in my happy ending...Also, I would like to believe so for the sake of my sanity!!😆

Edited by chottekikhushi - 8 years ago

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samaz95

@samaz95

Explorer

Posted: 8 years ago

#26

So glad to see you active again (:

The question which troubles me today, is how do they go forward from this limbo that they are stuck in? After all those lame Nb's are revealed and pinky receives some sort of guidance (fingers crossed), what will happen then, because the real crux of the problem will still remain.

How will they ever be able to erase the bitter taste of their marriage, the actually NKK reality that surrounds them and will Shivay actaully ever be able to redeem himself in our eyes, and not just spout some lame apologetic dialouges.

Their relationship is purely toxic, especially for her. Objectively speaking, if I keep my intense liking for Shivaay aside, he is acting like an absolute douchebag to her.

I really want to know how you envision the mending of this toxic but at times such a beautiful relationship

In my believe, both of them, Anika and Shivay have miles to go, both individually and together as a couple.

P.s I loved how you described that trying to break the Great Wall of Shivaay Singh Oberon, the poor girl is bloodied and bruised herself.

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serendipity.

@serendipity.

Trailblazer

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#27

OH my god. Detailed comment later but I might just hang myself down to death if you don't do a sequel or make this into a story. I beg of youuu!!!!!! ;(

Edited by serendipity. - 8 years ago

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Innika

@-castaways-

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#28

Navin,

I don't really know where to start on this one, to be very honest.

So let me just give you some sort of a context to where I'm at, right now; I'm sitting on my bed, absolutely bled dry from an extremely taxing out-of-town trip, and I'm writing hardcore ShivIka angst. And then, I see this on IF, and even before I read it, I fall in love with the name (also, I love Frost so much!).

Context given, I'm still stuck.

I honestly can't form words, or gather my emotions properly right now. I have a lump in my throat, my chest is hurting, and while I type this, my hands are shaking. Congratulations, you've achieved one of the visceral hallmarks of a brilliant writer, making your reader feel. But you know, reading this, I don't think I'm even feeling Annika - I am Annika.

At the moment, I've kind of been avoiding writing happy ShivIka stories. Writing is very mood-centric for me (as it is, for all of us), and watching what I am currently on television, I don't know if I can really go back. When all the haze of adorability is cleared, all that remains is force and inequality. If we overlook the fact that we know they both love each other, I don't think either character can be redeemed.

I say either, because even though Shivaay is grossly at fault, Annika has made mistakes too.

She's forgotten her roots. I feel like she's desperately trying to fit into his life, and that she's just accepted her fate. There is no fight left in her; or at least, not towards Shivaay. Now, she fights alongside him, like a good spouse should, rather than against him. The only issue is, they are not a healthy couple, and so, her devotion to him, is unwelcome at this stage.

I'm waiting for Annika to realise this.

I don't know when she will. I don't know if she will, but one can hope. I'm tired of reading comments about how people don't think a separation will happen, or even a redemption, because Shivaay and Annika are in love. And apparently, that automatically means, that we will learn to accept.

That disgusts me. I think that sometimes we forget; the lure of romance is too tempting, to address the fact that this is not a marriage of equals. He forced her to marry him. I try to look at all the positives behind what that one action did, but to be honest, I can't. He manhandled her, he exploited her, he threatened to rape her. I can't get over that shoe near her head, at all. No intense hospital scenes, or heartfelt declaration of love can fix that for me. Not even him grovelling will fix that. That whole track disgusted me so much, that try as I might, I couldn't rewatch it. I wanted to, for inspiration for the angst fic that I'm writing, but I just couldn't do it.

I'm from a Bengali family, and while our women do face heaps of crap, I know that our society really hates one thing. Any sort of violence, and daughters are dragged away from that environment before they can even ask. Because violence is so unacceptable, I can't even. And this guy, for god's sake, uses violence out of love as well. That whole idea of she only responds well to threats and violence kind of makes me sick. My sister is going to get married in the next few years, and the thought of her husband manhandling her, sends shivers down my spine.

It's so terrible, as well, because violence in marital relationships is so prevalent in reality, that I really wish that television wouldn't romanticise it as much as they do.

Anyhow, bruises can heal. Words, already spoken, can't. You can't take back what Shivaay has said or done. You can't take back everything that Pinky and Tej have said. You can't take back all the berating, all the pain that she is all but drowning in, right now. There is no apology, no begging, no pleading, that will heal her.

I loved what you wrote in the little note at the beginning of your post. If she won't leave him for herself, maybe she'll leave him, for him. I have thought about this for so long; that Annika is too far gone to leave out of anger. She's accepted a forced marriage, him using Sahil for blackmail, him demeaning her, and their marriage. She's accepted the fact that she's not good enough for him, that he'll never accept her, and that she's stuck in a loveless marriage. She's accepted a divorce, she's accepted him flirting with her, without giving her anything to hold on to.

There is nothing that he can take now, that she won't willingly give. It's tremendously sad, but that is the point that their relationship is at, right now. He is still holding the reigns of the relationship, and if he were to leave her in the next hour, then Annika would have to accept it.

The only way I see her leaving now, as you said, is if it's her trying to liberate him. I have a feeling that this will be shown on the show, after the whole NB track is over.

Sorry, I keep drifting from the actual point of this comment!

Navin, I absolutely loved this. I felt this. I cried with this.

That beautiful lead in from her sandals, to the family members was so palpably bittersweet. The lines drawn, the parallels between the standard of the sandals, to what Annika has become, was downright remarkable.

I don't know how to describe your writing style in this. Serene, maybe?

There was so much going on, so much emotion - and yet, it was so resigned. Like the reader was Annika, tired, but powering on, until her final break.

Her casual insight, her worry about leaving the family made me cry so much. My covers are literally damp from all the tears; because as you said, this woman is too kind. She is way too giving, too selfless, and the Oberoi family don't know what they have, and how brutally they had destroyed her. She's being spread too thin, between all of them, and that is saying something, because Annika has always fought her own battles. It's really telling, but essentially, her love has destroyed her. It really reminded me of Annika's conversation with Sahil, where she talks about being terrified of love. At this rate, I agree with her - she should be.

Her love for Shivaay, for the family, has ruined her. She's taken too much, already, and if the show's writers continue like they are, there will be too many blows for even us, as forum writers, to try to justify, or fix. I sense a breakdown coming very soon, but I would love to have see what this story has, on the show.

If, I'm not reading into this too much, I assume that she's going to commit suicide? The fact that she's leaving Sahil to the family hints at this, but I could be reading into it too much.

It is all but confirmed, because she realises, that Shivaay will have to let her go. As dreadful as it, I can somehow believe this. It's so real.

She is so selfless, so sacrificial, that I wouldn't put suicide past her.

By the way, is there any chance that you can write a second part to this? Maybe the aftermath? Another OS in the next few hours? I just need more angst, especially because you're such a brilliant writer.

Thank you for this, I loved it. Keep writing!

With love,

Innika

xox

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: mishti4maan
Welcome back napster! And like always an amazing OS.. I love how you focused all on the tiny details and their major importances.. that's what i love about your stories.. every character holds importance.. I actually desperately want to see something like this on the show. I've been thinking about this concept for a couple of days.. They are hell-bent on portraying to us that Shivaay and Anika are takkar-ki-jodi.. What if whilst Shivaay is busy slowly breaking his beliefs and ideals about NKK anika starts to believe that NKK are actually very important? When Shivaay realises his love for Anika and how weak the foundation of his ideals and truly becomes an Ishqbaaz what if Anika becomes a past version of SSO? All this bitterness, backlash and rejection she is facing right now forces her to believe that people with NKK are only allowed to get what they want and love despite their amazing character.. she understands this is the way SSO's world works and she will never be able to fit in there.. it is sad but it is the fact.. so she accepts it and walks away whilst he has finally gathered the courage to walk towards her.. sad but poetic justice..

I HATE this stupid site. I wrote a three paragraph response I was excited to share with you because ..obviously, I love you, and it deleted it when I went to post. So, summing up:
Love you.
Comment you made is 100% my thought process, and if they executed that at all it would make for mind blowing TV.
NKK and Shivaay have a rishta that is much more of a soul connection than anything Shhivika have. And I do NOT see how they'll write him out.
Random observation: do you think Shivaay will ever, really, love her?
Thanks, sweetheart!