Originally posted by: napstermonster
Thank you for an amazing comment! I was actually a huge fan of Tumhari Pakhi, and I remember that portion of the show, when she basically walked out, and she had her family supporting her as she did it, which was truly amazing. And he went on a journey, to get HIMSELF back, which included understanding and accepting his own mother and his son before she would see him as redeemed and worthy of her. That was one heroine I don't think we'll ever see on screen again. What a strong, traditional, yet feminist character Pakhi was!
But if I may, think about this--- with Anshuman, he was not just an ass, he had to change wholly as a man, a father and a husband. Shivaay does not have anything close to that in terms of work to do.. and I would argue, he doesn't need to give up all that much, either. Full-on change means you are also saying his beliefs are wrong. With Anshuman, it was wrong to be a woman hater, to be a philanderer who expected his wife to be some white washed angel.
But-- What is Shivaay's problem, other than the extreme nature of his views? Don't those beliefs exist, to some degree all of us? And don't modified versions of that belief govern our eastern AND western society?
With Shivaay, I think the issue is absolutely what you say, that he must let go of his belief about lineage being the only thing that matters, or defines a person. But I don't agree he has to let go of his belief on the overall importance of lineage, given reality, given his social standing and the Oberoi business needs. His problem is one extreme--that lineage, and what people think is the ONLY thing by which to judge people. Of course this is stupid, and must change. I absolutely agree that even "accepting" Anika's lack of lineage is a form of condescension, a hit on her self respect.
But Anika, as she is right now, is also an extreme example of the opposite belief- that society, and what people think, that family-ties of blood and community expectations are absolutely unimportant. The scene where she basically hands her "izzat" over to Shivaay almost on a whim pissed me off. It was done out of love, okay. But it was also because for her, it was literally nonsense-- and she does not live in a world where a girl's "image" can just be tossed aside.
Because the direct consequence of her loss of her "good" image (what a word🤢) means it affects how people treat her --and she is not living in a cave in the woods. Your lineage, or reputation, and how people view you, matter--when she tossed that away, it made her vulnerable, and lead to a threat of rape and violence. She IS living in a community where lineage or at least, the perception of being from a "good" family has moral as well as social implications. When she impulsively decided that didn't matter, her society decided she didn't matter, either. Obviously I am not supporting that idea, or those actions. But its stupid to stand up in a crowded theater, yell fire and then be confused when there is a stampede--its human nature.
Your name is your identity, but also kind of a guarantee that you wont cross certain lines, because when you do, it will affect those you love who bear that name as well. When she flouted that community's rules, and came home with a scarlet W on her head, she affected Sahil, her family, and her own safety, immediately. Its great to stand up for yourself--but not smart to deliberately create dangerous situations where you have to so stand up.
So for me, she is not the gold standard here. While Shivaay clearly is the one who needs to make the bigger adjustment and accept society and others do not and cannot decide everything you do, Anika needs to temper that lone wolf vs society thing she has going on as well.
Fan Fictions
