Up in the air! DT Note Page 4 - Page 4

Originally posted by: Sunnygrin1

In the end- it’s a story. It’s a bold story where characters are more real than any of the candy flossed sugar- coated stories where heroes are whiter than white and can do no wrong. Again this is a story where no one is perfect - least of all the hero.

Yes - forced weddings are illegal- both Adi, Imlie and other characters in the show say it. Forced weddings at gun point happen in some villages even today- I am yet to see another show that so boldly brought it out into the faces of the public for discussion. The devastating consequences for all characters involved cannot be denied. Because there is such a huge discussion on the topic- people are actually talking about it. I rather society talks about it rather than it be allowed to continue in the darkness or buried in the pages of news papers where people read it like something happening in another world. In an interview the writer of the original story Leena Gangopadhyay says that this is based on real life of a woman who actually went through this. No newspaper article, documentary or even the movies made on the topic have brought it into our homes for discussion as vividly as this serial did.

Just because Adi falls for Imlie - it doesnot glorify their wedding. Their romance is separate from this and beautiful - because in its own way it breaks certain barriers in this genre of romance serials. Usually the ML falls for the female lead just by looking at her - usually in a breath- taking moment and for her ‘beauty’- ( at least the few I have seen) or external appearance. I put ‘beauty’ in commas because it’s beauty according to ITV- a fair, slim heroine. Also In other serials -there is a triangle - but always subtly they show the woman the hero doesnot love as being ‘negative’ in some way- wearing skimpy clothes or not being traditional enough or not knowing how to cook - so then it’s made palatable to the viewers that it’s ‘okay’ the hero doesnot love her. She didn’t ‘deserve’ his love - as if it were a prize to be won.

In this show this is the first time I have seen that not to be true- Malini is rich and beautiful and educated - the family love her but more importantly so do So many of the viewers- yet Adi falls for the one that so many people within and outside the show call ‘naukrani’( as if that were something despicable). In a society where Fair and Lovely is promoted, where speaking English without an accent is prized, to have a heroine who is so different from the norm but be SO confident in herself. That is a huge thing in my opinion - a huge glass wall that is broken. And This is a more real characterization of love than I have seen- because it’s true - there is no formula or logic for how love happens and with whom. In real life also, this is true of love . And he doesnot love her initially- he falls for her boldness and optimism just like we did. It also prompts a discussion on what love is - that so often May be we do confuse friendship and ‘a similarity’ of views to be love.

It also shows that despite having all these qualities so valued by society in a woman- that you be fair and rich and educated -Malini is also flawed and insecure. That just ‘owning’ or ‘having’ these qualities is no guarantee for happiness. And more importantly that eventually you have to be the owner of your happiness - that you cannot base all your happiness on another’s affections.

And Imlie has her own set of flaws - her biggest flaw is also one that is worthy of discussion- that sacrificing your happiness for that of others doesnot always land you in a good place. And that in the end only you are there to fight for your own happiness and denying yourself your happiness doesn’t leave you with a good taste - it can leave you bitter.

There is so much in this serial to see and appreciate but again it depends on your point of view. But I do hope that bolder stories like this are told so that we can discuss things that we prefer to keep buried.

No story is ever perfect - but the good ones have characters who capture our attention and really good ones have flawed characters which is why so many can relate to them. Even in so many of our epics we have heroes and even Gods who fall, fail and do wrong - Adi is but a mere mortal.

Dear what a wonderful post. U narrated well.

I was a silent reader in the forum initially then when read a lot of character bashing thought of writing like how u did.

My early posts were somewhat similar.

This is fictional in the first place. In reality this things may happen but are handled well.

If a guy is forced to marry a girl he wjll defo discuss with family. If not with his girlfroend. He wont marry his girlfriend till the first marriage issue is resolved.

Or he may accept the first marriage and wont marry his gf. Thats all simple.

But this is fictional. A guy has leukimia and family doesnt know. Like seriously. So . All are fictional.

Yet people take these shows seriously. And start character bashing.

To me just enjoy the show nowadays i am more on silent reading than posting. Save my mental sanity

Originally posted by: Peanutbolt

@bold : +1 , completely agree on how incredible traits like this are often looked down and the ‘love’ in traditional itv sense is seen as some thing as a ultimate or incomparable (add fate thrown into this and you can’t even touch that relationship😆)

Since this is a slightly different discussion - on our views on love etc, I see love as attraction blended in with all those incredible traits you talk about- loyalty, honesty, friendship and respect.

Coming to this show- I don’t see how these are looked down upon. Imlie is loyal to a fault and the story is about how she wins his respect when Adi realizes that his preconceived notions about her were wrong and then the story progresses to show when and how those feelings change to love. And it’s not that blind passion based on someone’s looks - rather a feeling that grows as he realizes things about her.

It’s question of the choice he makes. There are other versions of this story where the ML chooses differently but yes- eventually chooses the person he is attracted to.

I mean - it’s a serial on the romance genre- and yes as human beings, there is something inherently more interesting when an attraction/ passion is thrown in. So many successful love stories have that element- I mean literally all of them.

The rest- the fate bringing them together, the fact that the ML can’t be honest with everyone, the wrong decisions he makes- all these are story plot contrivances. After all if as so many people have ranted- if he is straightforward and tells everything at the get go, then it’s a different story and unfortunately the way the industry is set up is on having infinite episodes. If it were a limited episode series perhaps story could have been told differently.

I mean - I am trying to imagine a story where ML and FL are best friends and family is all for them getting married etc But for the plot to move forward there has to be some obstacle or block or some premise for how that feeling changes to love etc - if it’s in the romance genre.

And yeah perhaps someone could experiment with a story where fate decides something and then the protagonists make it work despite fate. But that’s tricky because then their decision is also fate in a way 😄

I mean even something completely out of ITV- Hunger Games for example- Isn’t it fate that threw Katniss and Peeta together despite Gale and she being best friends? She remembers and links seeing Peeta the first time in school to seeing dandelions - which is what gave her hope for survival.

Even there ,there were so many fans who wanted her to end up with Gale - but ...

Anyway- 😄 fun things to discuss

Originally posted by: Aniash

Dear what a wonderful post. U narrated well.

I was a silent reader in the forum initially then when read a lot of character bashing thought of writing like how u did.

My early posts were somewhat similar.

This is fictional in the first place. In reality this things may happen but are handled well.

If a guy is forced to marry a girl he wjll defo discuss with family. If not with his girlfroend. He wont marry his girlfriend till the first marriage issue is resolved.

Or he may accept the first marriage and wont marry his gf. Thats all simple.

But this is fictional. A guy has leukimia and family doesnt know. Like seriously. So . All are fictional.

Yet people take these shows seriously. And start character bashing.

To me just enjoy the show nowadays i am more on silent reading than posting. Save my mental sanity

Exactly - and either you like it and watch it or you change to another . I mean in reality how easy is it to keep these hidden secrets and also when Adi first tells Malini that he was forced to be married to Imlie, (in his attempt to be honest and she faints) - which fiancé is going to take that as a ‘joke’. Most women would give the guy grief for quite sometime. But all these hidden secrets are there because then whether they will be revealed or not is the suspense. And most people watching are probably enjoying it for the story telling or intriguing story-or how the actors are acting out such complicated plots so convincingly.

Majority people are not so blind that they can’t tell truth from fiction - no matter how drawn to the show they are.

Originally posted by: Sunnygrin1

Exactly - and either you like it and watch it or you change to another . I mean in reality how easy is it to keep these hidden secrets and also when Adi first tells Malini that he was forced to be married to Imlie, (in his attempt to be honest and she faints) - which fiancé is going to take that as a ‘joke’. Most women would give the guy grief for quite sometime. But all these hidden secrets are there because then whether they will be revealed or not is the suspense. And most people watching are probably enjoying it for the story telling or intriguing story-or how the actors are acting out such complicated plots so convincingly.

Majority people are not so blind that they can’t tell truth from fiction - no matter how drawn to the show they are.

True and who will forget that so easily and write it off, especially when it's someone like Malini who's already insecure.

It was just weird, how quick she dropped it.

Look at Adi, he's not in love with her but you don't see him forgetting about her made up lover.

Imagine your fiance saying such a 'joke' to you, your senses would be tingling about how something is off.

Originally posted by: Sunnygrin1

Exactly - and either you like it and watch it or you change to another . I mean in reality how easy is it to keep these hidden secrets and also when Adi first tells Malini that he was forced to be married to Imlie, (in his attempt to be honest and she faints) - which fiancé is going to take that as a ‘joke’. Most women would give the guy grief for quite sometime. But all these hidden secrets are there because then whether they will be revealed or not is the suspense. And most people watching are probably enjoying it for the story telling or intriguing story-or how the actors are acting out such complicated plots so convincingly.

Majority people are not so blind that they can’t tell truth from fiction - no matter how drawn to the show they are.

And watching this show is better than the saas bahu sagas despite the ridiculous things that sometimes they show like malini fainting. Aditya still went on with his marriage. Imlie still wants to go to AC place knowing how she is .

Dev could tell AC imlie is his daughter and threats to give imlie everything that belongs to him. Thats the only way to shut her up coz she would never want dev to give her anything leave alone a fathers title. But he is always bus anu bus .

Same goes to MIL. Who could have slapped her when she hit imlie with that tubelight. How awful was that. She crossed all linits . But MIL only says bhagwan tujhey kabhi maaf nehin karega anu. Seriously. Waiting for the lord to punish her. Just give one tight slap will do . If possible more. But at least one yaar. U are older than her. U are like her mother. U have the right. Imlie is ur granddaughter.

U lknow what i think MIL is also afraid of her knowing how psycho she is. Afraid to be ambushed by this mad woman. Who knows

Nishant leukimia patient that too nearing his final journey but still looks good. Still lots of hair on the head.

Tripathis dont ask. Number one flippers . Especially the two ladies. Imlie was everything now shes nothing.

Mithi should have married satyakam to give imlie her fathers name. Instead of waiting for dev. She didnt know he was married. Now she should take the step. Hope they bring mithi satyakam marriage track.

No matter how much stupidity shown still we watch. Coz we prefer it over other worse shows

Originally posted by: Ahlaam5

There's no such thing as a moment of depression, that's an oxymoron.

A brief moment of sadness is just that, sadness. But depression is when:

Most people go through periods of feeling down, but when you're depressed you feel persistently sad for weeks or months, rather than just a few days.

Suicide in it's most base form is a cry for attention and help.

Treatment for depression can involve a combination of lifestyle changes, talking therapies and medicine.

And this is where the show went wrong and the character lost any and all sympathy because rather than coming across as a depressed person who saw no reason in living, she came across as manipulative, calculative and most importantly emotionally abusive. (I come to this conclusion taking into account her previously established emotionally abusive behaviour, choosing to starve herself until Adi comes for her, leaving her in-laws house because Adi isn't there and will only come back if Adi collects her etc)

She came back with and to the man that is a trigger for her suicide. The relationship that triggered her to take that extreme step.

Here's what I heard very loudly and clearly when she stepped back into that house with that man:

'I'll kill myself if you leave me.'

Instead of seeing her as a sympathetic person who's feeling of helplessness and hopelessness pushed her to that step, I saw a lady use it as the ultimate level of emotional abuse.

What really cemented my view of her as abusive is her own words.

'You always make me wait Adi, So I'd thought I'd make you wait'

She herself admitted she attempted suicide for insidious reasons such as revenge and not because she saw it as the only viable option in her life at this point.

Depression and suicide are very real and a lot of people live with it and it can be triggered by the smallest of things (to outsiders small but not to the person) but depressed people can be manipulative (not on purpose most of the time but depression itself is very personality warping and insidious), they need professional help and sometimes medicine and a combination of things.

Most depressed people live a hard life of always having to question whether their action/reaction is from a place of manipulation or not and it's always their actions after extreme steps that truly show their character.

Most people (especially educated) after suicide attempt would get professional help and try to get better, feel remorse and not glorify suicide because it gave them what they wanted to some level.

As you said there's more to value in life than love...family, friendship, career, honesty, respect etc so why kill yourself for revenge on a man.

Malini is not weak because she has depression or attempted suicide, she is weak (to me) because she did it out of revenge when she had more in her life than this one man and therefore has glorified suicide to all viewers.

You said you value honesty and was Adi not honest to Malini about his forced marriage in PD and yet Malini refused to accept it. He was forced to lie because of her reaction, she wants to hear the trurh but if it's one that doesn't suit her needs, she doesn't want to hear it and ends up straight in hospital.

It's very draining and emotionally abusive to live with a person like that and they need professional help.

Ofcourse he should have never married her but that is a different topic.

Forced to lie? Absolutely untrue

Whatever initial reaction, he should have made all efforts to speak the truth. He chose to lie.....