Amma is getting irritating !! - Page 2

Originally posted by: seetha74

While never achieving universal acceptance, Freud's work has been a major influence in our understanding of human nature ! Freud explained it as a structural and therefore unchangeable origin to violent feelings of jealousy and anxiety, whereas ,others view these as the result of deviation from our true human nature ...insecurity ,and a fear for losing hold on her son is making her to behave like this weird way !

Originally posted by: seetha74

The typical Indian MIL Ammaji is quite a complicated person.too aggressively involved in her son's life with his wife ?!

Building a relationship with her is a PROCESS and you have no choice but to be patient !Your efforts will eventually pay off because in Indian families, respect is earned from the elders, not just simply given for free !

In India dealing with MIL is a completely different ball game ! In every occasion they have a certain role to play ,most of the times they prefer to play a negative role !!The concept of boundaries do NOT exist in Indian families. When you marry a person you marry the whole family ! At times I feel ,marriage is a hard test to pass ,marriage is a rigid phase which needs a great deal of effort to surpass...whenever we want to escape ,we will find ourselves in that breath taking entanglements !Love to be there ...but always leaving ourselves behind ...a paradox , always in a potentially serious conflict in every woman's life !

Originally posted by: paljay

We know that woman is the enemy of woman, it's so true in HHN, Ammaji doesn't like Sags so she is finding all the excuses to put her down not realizing that she might loose her son in the process.

Amma IS a Typical Indian Mother in law! They are all controlling, egoistic, jealous, intensely possessive abt their son (usually the younger son as in Bunty's case).

Originally posted by: pallavi25

Amma IS a Typical Indian Mother in law! They are all controlling, egoistic, jealous, intensely possessive abt their son (usually the younger son as in Bunty's case).

Most Indian MILs try to control their sons with iron hand and after son gets married, MIL bullies, insults, berates the wife/ DIL all the time to keep her in her place so she doesnt get any importance in her son's life.

DIL is competition for the MIL...competitor for the son's affection and attention. The whole concept is rather sick but then desi mentality is sick most of the time.

MIL never misses a chance to put down the DIL. She wants to control the household through her husband and sons so shes the Queen of the household and DIL is just an extra, a servant.

In the old days, there was a custom, that a Bengali bridegroom would bring home his bride and tell his mother, Look Mother, I brought a maid for you!

This is true, I didnt make it up 😆...heard it in my ultra traditional Sasural ...they would say, "Maa dekho tomar jonney daashi (daasi) enechhi"

Anyway like I was saying, the relationship between Indian MIL and DIL is like that between a snake and a mongoose, either kill or be killed.

Either the MIL tortures and insults the DIL OR in certain cases, some modern DILs do the reverse!

😲 Then how can we say that the society and people have changed? Is it only on Screen or Books?

Originally posted by: pallavi25

Amma IS a Typical Indian Mother in law! They are all controlling, egoistic, jealous, intensely possessive abt their son (usually the younger son as in Bunty's case).

Most Indian MILs try to control their sons with iron hand and after son gets married, MIL bullies, insults, berates the wife/ DIL all the time to keep her in her place so she doesnt get any importance in her son's life.

DIL is competition for the MIL...competitor for the son's affection and attention. The whole concept is rather sick but then desi mentality is sick most of the time.

MIL never misses a chance to put down the DIL. She wants to control the household through her husband and sons so shes the Queen of the household and DIL is just an extra, a servant.

In the old days, there was a custom, that a Bengali bridegroom would bring home his bride and tell his mother, Look Mother, I brought a maid for you!

This is true, I didnt make it up 😆...heard it in my ultra traditional Sasural ...they would say, "Maa dekho tomar jonney daashi (daasi) enechhi"

Anyway like I was saying, the relationship between Indian MIL and DIL is like that between a snake and a mongoose, either kill or be killed.

Either the MIL tortures and insults the DIL OR in certain cases, some modern DILs do the reverse!

May be all this applied to Indian society in the 1960s but we have evolved and a wife is given her due respect and no longer considered a maid (don't know where this occurs) and though in conservative families there is a form of power play to show an upper hand in the son's affections, it is more subtle in modern families or not there in progressive families where equations are changing and quite often the relationship is based on mutual respect!

Honestly, I think the son should not get into this and let the two women get along or fall apart, which ever course they adopt!

Originally posted by: ppp333

😲 Then how can we say that the society and people have changed? Is it only on Screen or Books?

Originally posted by: vibraj

May be all this applied to Indian society in the 1960s but we have evolved and a wife is given her due respect and no longer considered a maid (don't know where this occurs) and though in conservative families there is a form of power play to show an upper hand in the son's affections, it is more subtle in modern families or not there in progressive families where equations are changing and quite often the relationship is based on mutual respect!

Honestly, I think the son should not get into this and let the two women get along or fall apart, which ever course they adopt!