Shuttlecock - Page 6

Originally posted by: Walden

Kanan, yes Rishi maybe has been reacting instead of acting but if we look back, was he given the time or opportunity to act? The day after he finds out that LW exists (I know this is not much of a surprise for us because we already knew of her existence), he finds out that LW is mentally challenged, he finds out that she's been sent to the asylum so he brings her back, the same day he finds out that Indira was burnt alive with him holding the flame to her body, and then after going thru all this, that same day Zara starts demanding answers like who am I, who si she to you? and then demands that he take her back. Even in all of this, I liked the fact that he had his head straight to say to Zara that he loves her but LW is also part of his life. But before he could get his feelings straight and come up with a plan of action, people started demanding things from him. I think he deserved a little more time to assess the situation on his own but alas everyone was too eager to start demanding their rights from him- wouldn't you agree? And now that he has gone into the reacting mode, its hard for him to come out of it.

You said in another thread that he should step back, take a moment and assess the situation. I absolutely agree but could you imagine him trying to do this with Indu, Zara, and LW all nagging at him every 2 seconds with their own demands? The fact that Indu is Indu is a major hindrance- the girl will not listen to anything or anyone. Even though she likes to act like an adult, honestly, her brain is not even up to the level of a 8 year old. LW- we can't expect much from. So Zara was really the only person Rish could depend on for some support and while I agree that no one is a bechara/behcari (though I think everyone in the telly world is), we all need support and sometimes help making tough decisions. We consult our parents, mentors, friends, family members. Who can Rishi depend on?

Okay 1 more question I wanted to ask: What would you have Rishi say to Zara in regards to the who is she to you question. I really want to know:))

Ok now your turn:))

Whoa! Had not expected this to become a game of shuttlecock between you and me. 😊

I've said this repeatedly and I repeat myself once more...its not as though I cannot understand his dilemma. Its not as though I do not appreciate the fact that he is not cheating on any of the two women in his life.

If you're asking me what I would have Rishi say to Zara with regard to who the Lahorewal is, then you have misread my concern. The answer to that is simple and straight and exactly what he has already said. That I love you and that I care for her. I do not disagree with that. My disgust with the staircase conversation (I know Heema will hate every reference to it) was primarily that he had not come clean with Zara about this. He had merely left it at "Aisa toh nahin ki pyaar khatam ho gaya aapke liye". That was insufficient. But the moment he came clean on that fact (in the next epi), the first he ought to have done was tell the truth of his marriage to the family. Own up and acknowledge the marriage. That would have put Zara at rest too. The primary hindrance (good word for Indu...thanks) is Indu, but someday, she will know. If every effort is going to be invested in preventing her from throwing a tantrum or falling sick, then what is the role that maturity is playing? This is the precise inaction that is pushing him in every direction but the one he needs to take. By being passive, is the issue resolved?

About demanding rights and playing mature, really, what would you have Zara do? She is insecure and that is her flaw. But what was done by Rishi to address it? She had the same amount of time as Rishi to assess the turn her life has taken. She realized the situation that Rishi was in and initially denied her marriage with him in front of the family. She had just got some semblance of an identity, and lost it in an instant. In addition, there was rejection from Indu. And if Rishi needs support and advice, so does she.

I don't see who can be blamed for the situation, really. But passivity is not working.

Over to you.

Whoa! Had not expected this to become a game of shuttlecock between you and me. I quite like this game. btw, who's keeping score? 😆
I've said this repeatedly and I repeat myself once more...its not as though I cannot understand his dilemma. Its not as though I do not appreciate the fact that he is not cheating on any of the two women in his life.
If you're asking me what I would have Rishi say to Zara with regard to who the Lahorewal is, then you have misread my concern. The answer to that is simple and straight and exactly what he has already said. That I love you and that I care for her. I do not disagree with that. My disgust with the staircase conversation (I know Heema will hate every reference to it) was primarily that he had not come clean with Zara about this. He had merely left it at "Aisa toh nahin ki pyaar khatam ho gaya aapke liye". That was insufficient. Yes that was insufficient. But as far as I recall, Zara stormed off right after and LW was nagging him with her usual "ishi". But the moment he came clean on that fact (in the next epi), the first he ought to have done was tell the truth of his marriage to the family. Own up and acknowledge the marriage. That would have put Zara at rest too. The primary hindrance (good word for Indu...thanks) is Indu, but someday, she will know. If every effort is going to be invested in preventing her from throwing a tantrum or falling sick, then what is the role that maturity is playing? This is the precise inaction that is pushing him in every direction but the one he needs to take. By being passive, is the issue resolved? Like I said in my original comment, the Rishi-Zara marriage without Indu's consent is something I cannot defend him for. And I think he realizes that he made a mistake (not the marriage itself, but doing it without Indu's presence). And I absolutely agree with you that he should acknowledge the marriage. And ideally, we would all be strong and courageous enough to own up to all our mistakes in a jiffy but that's not reality. In reality, we all need a supportive environment to acknowledge that we have erred. If LW was not in the picture and Rishi-Zara had returned to SN, I could have expected him to be honest with Indu right away. Wasn't that his plan anyway? But LW entry has made things very complicated. While I still expect him to own up to his actions, I can understand how the hostile and unsupportive people and environment he is faced with can make this task extremely difficult. And this where Zara comes into play...
About demanding rights and playing mature, really, what would you have Zara do? She is insecure and that is her flaw. But what was done by Rishi to address it? She had the same amount of time as Rishi to assess the turn her life has taken. She realized the situation that Rishi was in and initially denied her marriage with him in front of the family. She had just got some semblance of an identity, and lost it in an instant. In addition, there was rejection from Indu. And if Rishi needs support and advice, so does she. But here's my issue. We are okay with accepting the fact that Zara is insecure and her behavior stems from this insecurity. So I'll say the same for Rishi. He is also insecure and his behavior /actions are a reflection of his insecurity. If its okay for one adult to act upon their insecurities and fears, then why not the other? I think we should admit that we are expecting more from Rishi than we do from Zara. You are right, she understood Rishi's situation for about a millisecond when she initially denied their marriage to the family. But after this, her personal identity crisis came to the forefront and her actions/behaviors since then have been a reflection of this. I would have been okay if Zara asked him to accept their marriage (sitting down with Indu and discussing this with her). But what did Zara ask of him- take LW to the mental asylum (and Rishi did try to address her insecurities when he agreed to take LW to the mental asylum). The message he got from Zara right from the start was not about just acknowledging their marriage and accepting her place in his life- it was: if you want me to stay, she has to go!! So its actually asking Rishi to not only own up to their marriage (which she should have the right to demand), its connecting that decision to the decision about LW (I don't know if that makes any sense).

Originally posted by: Walden

Whoa! Had not expected this to become a game of shuttlecock between you and me. I quite like this game. btw, who's keeping score? 😆 Anu is..thanks Anu 😃
I've said this repeatedly and I repeat myself once more...its not as though I cannot understand his dilemma. Its not as though I do not appreciate the fact that he is not cheating on any of the two women in his life.
If you're asking me what I would have Rishi say to Zara with regard to who the Lahorewal is, then you have misread my concern. The answer to that is simple and straight and exactly what he has already said. That I love you and that I care for her. I do not disagree with that. My disgust with the staircase conversation (I know Heema will hate every reference to it) was primarily that he had not come clean with Zara about this. He had merely left it at "Aisa toh nahin ki pyaar khatam ho gaya aapke liye". That was insufficient. Yes that was insufficient. But as far as I recall, Zara stormed off right after and LW was nagging him with her usual "ishi". She also said "jaiye apni Shrimatiji ke paas". Its important because she did not start off being as petulant as she is now perceived to be. But the moment he came clean on that fact (in the next epi), the first he ought to have done was tell the truth of his marriage to the family. Own up and acknowledge the marriage. That would have put Zara at rest too. The primary hindrance (good word for Indu...thanks) is Indu, but someday, she will know. If every effort is going to be invested in preventing her from throwing a tantrum or falling sick, then what is the role that maturity is playing? This is the precise inaction that is pushing him in every direction but the one he needs to take. By being passive, is the issue resolved? Like I said in my original comment, the Rishi-Zara marriage without Indu's consent is something I cannot defend him for. And I think he realizes that he made a mistake (not the marriage itself, but doing it without Indu's presence). And I absolutely agree with you that he should acknowledge the marriage. And ideally, we would all be strong and courageous enough to own up to all our mistakes in a jiffy but that's not reality. In reality, we all need a supportive environment to acknowledge that we have erred. If LW was not in the picture and Rishi-Zara had returned to SN, I could have expected him to be honest with Indu right away. Wasn't that his plan anyway? But LW entry has made things very complicated. While I still expect him to own up to his actions, I can understand how the hostile and unsupportive people and environment he is faced with can make this task extremely difficult. And this where Zara comes into play...Fair enough. Point taken.
About demanding rights and playing mature, really, what would you have Zara do? She is insecure and that is her flaw. But what was done by Rishi to address it? She had the same amount of time as Rishi to assess the turn her life has taken. She realized the situation that Rishi was in and initially denied her marriage with him in front of the family. She had just got some semblance of an identity, and lost it in an instant. In addition, there was rejection from Indu. And if Rishi needs support and advice, so does she. But here's my issue. We are okay with accepting the fact that Zara is insecure and her behavior stems from this insecurity. So I'll say the same for Rishi. He is also insecure and his behavior /actions are a reflection of his insecurity. If its okay for one adult to act upon their insecurities and fears, then why not the other? I think we should admit that we are expecting more from Rishi than we do from Zara. Sorry, not sure I can accept this last statement. The expectations from Rishi are not extraordinary. My issue with him is that he is only thinking of Indu and how she will react. So, every time he has to deal with her, there is some workaround or excuse that he comes up with. And that won't take him too far. Someday, he'll find himself in a situation from which no one can bail him out. At that point, he would be lucky if he has people still trusting him (this, though, is in my real world and not HD world. HD world, I cannot vouch for). You are right, she understood Rishi's situation for about a millisecond when she initially denied their marriage to the family. But after this, her personal identity crisis came to the forefront and her actions/behaviors since then have been a reflection of this. I would have been okay if Zara asked him to accept their marriage (sitting down with Indu and discussing this with her). But what did Zara ask of him- take LW to the mental asylum (and Rishi did try to address her insecurities when he agreed to take LW to the mental asylum). The message he got from Zara right from the start was not about just acknowledging their marriage and accepting her place in his life- it was: if you want me to stay, she has to go!! So its actually asking Rishi to not only own up to their marriage (which she should have the right to demand), its connecting that decision to the decision about LW (I don't know if that makes any sense). This was a mistake...the thin ice I spoke about. It was badly done and she does realize it. She was aware throughout that she's making a mistake and did try to make amends. If Rishi is given a long rope for his mistakes, she should be given some too.

I don't see who can be blamed for the situation, really. But passivity is not working. So in my mind, Rishi has sort of expressed his decision to Zara already: that he is not willing to turn his back on LW. This is not the passivity I was referring to. I was referring to his passivity regarding Indu. Sorry if that did not come across, but even in today's epi, when he broached the subject with Zara, he asked her to spare a thought for Indu because she can do anything. While his fear as a father may be real, I don't know how long he can live in fear. Someday, he will have to let her know and if this is how its going to be, then God help him. Because no one in SN can tame Indu and she is not going to understand any time soon. And if he chooses to remain passive (read uncommunicative with Indu) any longer, his own health will suffer.I don't expect him to walk up to her and say this explicitly for obvious reasons. So the shuttlecock in now in Zara's court for now. And hopefully Zara will take the shuttlecock and leave. She has done this in today's epi...not sure if you managed to catch it yet. But the real trouble is Indu and I don't think he knows of a way to deal with her. When he does reassess, he should also realize that "react mode" is not the only option he has. I think it will give everyone some time to re-assess (this will happen in my dream version of HD, not the the real one)
Over to you.
Back to you (feel free to stop playing anytime)😆

Back to you again...if you are upto another round 😊

Edit: See, honestly, its not as though telling Indu the truth will result in something great. Knowing Indu, that'll be another battle. Its not exactly something to look forward to in any sense. But the only thing it'll do is keep the slate clean. Rishi can breathe easy. Indu will not be able to accuse him of keeping her in the dark and betraying her trust. He will be able to use Zara's support in caring for the Lahorewali.

Why is it important for him to do this? Because in Indu's scheme of things, Zara does not figure. Her 'Mummy' is Lahorewali. Khadoos Aunty is an outsider who is trying to replace her Mummy. So, anything that she even tries to say will be disregarded. On knowing the truth, if Indu ends up disowning and disregarding Rishi, too, then the only solace that can be had from the entire episode is that everything is out in the open and everyone can breathe easy. That's all.

Heema, I am also trying...you cannot say I am not trying to see it from his point of view.

But I am also looking at it from Zara's point of view. And the only thing I feel is that if we know that neither of them is perfect, then highlighting the flaws of only one makes it look one-sided. She has made mistakes, but then so has he.

We are eager to forgive Rishi, feel bad for him, and make a case for him. But we are not equally eager to understand what Zara might be facing or feeling. Why so? Let's leave Indu out (although everything ultimately comes back to her).

Originally posted by: Anu_1

Score Board: Both are even.👏 Now shuttlecock is in Walden court. 😃

You sure are enjoying this 😃

Originally posted by: AllThingsNice

Regarding telling Indu, I agree with you- the time has come. But before he can do that, he has to sort out his issues with Zara. Because what is he going to tell Indu- I married Zara and what? The real question that Indu needs answered is- what's gonna happen to mummy?" The real question that Indu will want answers to is "how does the rishi-zara marriage change the indu-mummy equation?" Can he reassure her that even if he is married to Zara, Indu can still have her mummy? The LW issue is still largely unresolved and Zara has to be on board for that to get resolved. Can they work out a plan where Indu gets to have her mummy and Rishi and Zara can still live a married life? Rishi can't make this plan on his own- Zara has to be part of the brainstorming process, which currently she refuses to do.

We've made your thread so colorful! But I think we're gonna run out of colors soon!