Chapter-9
As Talli looked on at her beloved Di and her best friend she could not help feeling a little left out.They seemed to be in a world of their own...a world exclusive to just the two...a world where she was the outsider.She might have said it in jest earlier on that Kesar did not have time for her anymore but somewhere deep inside she had meant it.She was hurt.It was just that she had long enjoyed being the only girl who was a constant in Kesar's life apart from his sister and now she was coming to the realization that things were slowly but steadily changing.As she looked at Kesar with her Di right now she understood the reason.She did not begrudge them their happiness at all, after all this is what she had wanted and prayed for ever since her Di got married to her best friend.
"aarrgh",a groan made her look away from the couple towards the person who was trying to get up.Dushyant seemed to be in a lot of pain.She felt anger rise up in her as she looked at him with disgust in her eyes.Though she did not know the exact events that took place, she could guess what he had tried to do with her sister.He deserved to suffer.How could he do this? and to think there was a point in time when she actually had a soft corner for him in her heart.She had been secretly flattered with the attention she got from him.After all he could be quite charming when he wanted to be.She nearly did get swept off but then the fights between him and Kesar started to get uglier with each passing day and later when the time came she chose her friend over him.Thinking back maybe it had been for the best.She saw him get up with a lot of difficluty.His face was bloody and swollen.Instead of walking away he just stood there watching Kesar and Gulaal.She was surprised to see a tiny flicker of regret in his eyes along with envy.No,she must be imagining it,she thought.Right then he glanced at her.He hadn't realized that she had been standing there.He looked shocked and took a step back as if he was ashamed of himself.He averted his eyes,turned around and stumbled into the darkness.
She looked back at Kesar and Gulaal who were still oblivious to her presence.Talli cleared her throat to get their attention.They broke apart instantly and moved away from each other.She noticed that they were avoiding looking at each other.Di looked startled...still in shock and Kesar...well he looked lost and confused.
"aap dono theek toh hai na",she asked as she walked towards them.She saw them nod and so she continued,"humein shaayad yahaan se chalna chahiye warna kisi ne dekh liya toh theek nahi hoga...".
She saw Di struggle to get up and she was about to support her when she saw Kesar hold her hand and help her up.An awkward silence reigned for a moment before her Di called her over,"Talli...tu bhi hamaare saath chal...kal subah ghar chali jaana...warna mujhe chintha hogi...".Though Di was speaking to her she seemed to be looking at Kesar who remained quiet for a while before he spoke,"haan...Talli...tumhari Di theek keh rahi hai...".She saw a small relieved smile on her Di's face.She smiled wistfully as she said,"theek hai...toh chalein..." and moved towards the parking lot.
The ride home was a quiet affair.Gulaal looked at Talli in the backseat who had almost fallen asleep.She glanced at Kesar who had not spoken a word since they had left the party.It was odd seeing him like this.Normally he was so talkitive.There was a grim expression on his face.What was he thinking?She wondered unable to understand what was going on in his head.The evening had been such an emotional rollercoaster.As the adrenaline wore off she was finally realizing as to what had almost happened.If Kesar had not come,if she had failed to defend herself,if Dushyant had been successful in his attempts...she shuddered thinking about what could have occured.She took another look at Kesar from the corner of her eye and she could see the tension in his taut body.He was gripping the steering wheel a little too tight.She could still feel the anger coming off of him in waves.She wanted to calm him down.She almost kept her hand on top of his unconsciously but just then a sudden break stopped her from doing so.She was wearing the seat belt which bit into her skin.It did hurt her shoulder a bit and she could not help but let out a little cry,"aaargh...".
Kesar was concentrating on the road.He needed to be careful.He knew he shouldn't be driving tonight.The alcohol in his system was starting to affect his senses.He decided to be extra careful and not think about anything else.Just then he heard Gulaal sigh.He looked at her and it pained him to see her so pale and vulnerable.In a way he was responsible for it all.He should have never attended the party.How could he have been so naive?He should have never left her alone.Suddenly Gulaal's terrified but determined face flashed in front of his eyes.He clutched onto the steering wheel as he tried to wipe away the memory but it just would not go away.What would have happened if had not reached there?The very thought scared the life out of him.The fear and anger in him resurfaced.He tried to control his emotions and his feet hit the sudden break without intending to do so.
Immediately he heard Gulaal's painful cry.He looked at her.She looked to be in pain holding her shoulder.He heard Talli's sharp voice,"Di...kya hua aap theek toh hain na...aur Kesar tera dhyaan kidhar hai?gaadi sambhalke chala na...agar kuch ho jaata toh...".He was about to apologize when he heard Gulaal speak out,"nahi Talli...main toh bilkul theek hoon...Kesar, tum chinta math karo...mujhe kuch nahi hua hai...".She gave him a small smile before continuing,"ab chalein warna ghar pahunchte der ho jaayegi...".He nodded silently and started the car.
By the time they reached home it was past midnight.Kesar was searching for the spare key in his pocket when the door opened.It was Rewa."arre aap log itni jaldi aa gaye.mujhe toh laga ki bahut der ho jaayegi...chalo acha hai Baba bhi aap ka intezaar kar rahe the...",she spoke rubbing her eyes.
Gulaal was taken aback to see Rewa up so late.Usually she slept early.She was in no condition to face anyone.
"arre bhaiya...bhabhi...ye kya hua aap dono ko?...yeh chot kaise lagi?yeh sab kaise?...",Rewa asked in a concerned tone.
Gulaal turned to her side and looked towards Kesar.She had completely forgotten about the wounds.Kesar seemed to realize the exact same thing as he stared at her forehead and her shoulder.She quickly covered herself up with the saree before Rewa noticed it.She saw Kesar take a deep breath and then she heard his calm,confident voice,"kuch nahi hua Rewa...bas thodi si chot hai...tu chinta math kar...acha dekh Talli bhi aayi hai hamaare saath...aaj raat yehin rahegi...tu use room mein le jaa...jaa Rewa...main Baba se milke aata hoon.".
Rewa looked unconvinced but she decided to keep quiet at the moment and replied,"lekin bhaiya...unhone aap ko is haalath mein dekhenge toh...woh pareshan ho jaayenge...".
Kesar went upto his sister and tried to comfort her,"maine kaha na...main sambhaal loonga...tu fikr math kar...theek hai..."
He looked towards Gulaal for a second before continuing softly,"...aur haan Rewa... Gulaal ka khayaal rakhna.ok...".She nodded her head quietly trying hard not to let her worry reflect in her eyes.
"par Kesar...",Kesar heard Gulaal's hesitant voice call out to him.He turned around and looked at her calmly.He gave her a small smile and gestured her to go along with Rewa and Talli.They both knew that she was in no state to meet Baba.She agreed silently and went along with the girls.He turned around and the calmness disappeared.He was petrified of facing his father in this condition.He looked at himself.He was a mess.He tried to straighten his shirt but most of the buttons were missing.There was the cut on his arm which he tried to hide by pulling the sleeve down.He tried to pat down his hair and tried to wipe away the scrapes on his knuckles on his jeans.He hoped to God that his Baba would not get too worried.After all he was used to seeing him like this.He took hesitant ,unsteady steps towards his father's room which suddenly made him realize he was drunk.He had always made sure never to go before him if he had been drinking.He quickly searched his pockets for a mint.He always had one with him and fortunately he had one last piece of polo stashed away in his pocket.He put it into his mouth hoping Baba wouldn't find out.He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he opened the door to his Baba's room.
"Kesar...tum log aa gaye beta...main thoda pareshan ho gaya tha...woh Dushyant ki party thi na isi liye mann mein thodi ghabrahat thi ki kahin phir se...",Som Mehta turned around and stopped as he took in his son's disheveled appearance.His worst fears had come true.He had been in a fight and he could also make out from Kesar's glassy eyes and unfocussed steps that he was drunk.He looked behind him.Gulaal was not there.He asked Kesar in a stern voice,"Kesar...Gulaal theek toh hai na...".Kesar remained silent and avoided looking at him.He always did that when he had something to hide.So he came closer to him,held him by the shoulders and asked,"Kesar...main tumse kuch pooch raha hoon...Gulaal theek hai?kahaan hai woh?..."Kesar looked at him and muttered slowly,"woh theek hai...Talli aayi hai...usi ke saath hai...".Som was relieved and he softened a little as he looked at his son.
"Kesar...yeh sab kya hai?mujhe jis baat ka darr tha wohi hua...tu ne phir se Dushyant ke saath...aur upar se tu ne sharaab bhi pi rakhi hai...".He sighed as he spoke,"Kesar...mujhe toh laga tha ki tu samajhdaar ho gaya hai...in sab choti choti baatoin se upar uth chuka hai...shaayad main galat tha...lekin tujhe dhyaan rakhna chahiye ki ab tu akela nahi hai...tere upar Gulaal ki zimmedaari hai...aisa kya hua jiski wajah se teri yeh haalath hui hai?bol beta...kya hua..."
Kesar broke down in front of his Baba's gentle insistence."Baba...main maanta hoon mujhse bahut badi galti hui hai...mujhe us party mein jaana hi nahi chahiye tha...lekin Baba mera yakeen kijiye agar baat meri hothi toh main shaayad chupchaap bardaasht kar leta ...lekin Dushyant ne...harkat hi kuch aisi ki thi...main...main aur kya karta????...usne Gulaal ke saath badtameezi ki toh main kaise chup rehta...aap hi batatiye Baba main kya karta?...Main apne aap ko rok nahi paaya Baba...rok nahi paaya...Gulaal ka koi apmaan kare... koi chot pahunchaye yeh mujhse bilkul bardaasht nahi hoga...toh phir main Dushyant ko kaise chod sakta tha...".
Som Mehta knew that his son had a temper but he had never seen him this agitated before.His eyes seemed to be blazing with anger.His clenched fists and tight set jaw barely veiled the fury inside of him.Kesar was almost shaking with rage.He kept a comforting hand on Kesar's shoulder as he spoke calmly,"Kesar... shaant ho jaa beta...sambhaal apne aap ko...yeh tujhe kya ho gaya hai...apne gusse par kaboo paa Kesar...main samajh sakta hoon ki tu ne aisa kyun kiya...lekin itna gussa theek nahi hai na...jab gussa insaan par haavi ho jaata hai toh woh apne saath saath apnon ko bhi anjaane mein chot pahuncha sakta hai...tu samajh raha hai na beta...".Suddenly he saw a flash of regret in Kesar's eyes as the anger evaporated.He saw the slump in his son's shoulders as the fight went out of him.Som kept a hand on his forehead,"beta...tu aaj bahut thak gaya hai...hum baad mein baat karenge...tu abhi jaa aur apne chot par dawa lagaa...aur maine jo kaha hai us baare mein sochna".
Kesar did not know what else to say except,"jee Baba..."and quickly left the room.He walked towards the room with his Baba's words ringing in his ears.
Rewa was cleaning up the wound on Gulaal's forehead with an antiseptic lotion quietly with tears in her eyes.Gulaal noticed it and wiped them away as she comforted her,"yeh kya Rewa...tu ro kyun rahi hai?mujhe kuch bhi nahi hua...choti si chot hi toh hai...aur tere bhaiya bhi bilkul theek hain...tu ghabraa math...".Rewa tried to smile as she nodded her head and put a plaster on her forehead carefully.
Talli who had gone to wash her face in the washroom came into the room saying,"Di...aaj toh mujhe laga ki Dushyant nahi bach paayega...Kes...jeeju ke gusse ne mujhe daraa hi diya...waise main use dosh nahi de sakti ...shaayad main bhi wohi karti jo usne kiya...Dushyant ne jo kiya uske liye yehi sazaa honi chahiye...".
Gulaal panicked as she saw Rewa's puzzled look,"Dushyant ne aisa kya kiya jiski wajah se bhaiya itne gusse ho gaye?...".
Gulaal glared at Talli who was about to reply,"Talli..." and then she turned to Rewa as she said,"kuch nahi Rewa...Talli kuch zyaada hi badha chadakar bol rahi hai...".
Rewa smiled as she said,"lo ho gaya...aur kahin chot lagi hai kya bhabhi?...".Gulaal stiffened a little as she wrapped the saree tighter around her shoulders."haan woh Di ke..."Talli tried to speak but she was cut off by Gulaal who spoke in a rush,"nahi Rewa...aur kahin chot nahi lagi...acha chalo bahut raat ho gayi hai...tum dono so jaao...main chalti hoon".
She got up to leave when she felt Rewa tugging at her hand.She turned around and before she knew it Rewa had launched herself into her arms as she sniffled through her tears.Gulaal felt overwhelmed at her concern as she cupped her face and placed a kiss on her forehead."chalo ab jaldi se so jaa...kal tujhe school bhi toh jaana hai...kitni der ho gayi hai...".She muttered a quick goodnight to Talli before she could blurt out anything about the scratches on her shoulder and made a hasty exit from the room.
Kesar walked into the room with a heavy heart as his eyes searched for Gulaal.He was surprised to see the room empty.She must be with Rewa and Talli.He decided to get out of his blood spattered clothes into something clean before she returned.He walked towards the mirror as he carefully removed the shirt.The wound on his arm was really hurting.The pain hadn't bothered him at all until this very moment.He hadn't even thought about it at all till now.He looked around for the first aid box to clean up the wound.
"...jab gussa insaan par haavi ho jaata hai toh woh apne saath saath apnon ko bhi anjaane mein chot pahuncha sakta hai...tu samajh raha hai na beta...",Baba's words kept haunting him.
His father had spoken the truth.His rage had hurt not only him but also Gulaal.He hit his fist on the wall as a picture of Gulaal lying on the floor holding her forehead flashed in front of his eyes.He could not understand what was happening to him.He had got into a number of fights with Dushyant before.Some had involved Dushyant harrassing Talli but he had always managed to get a grip on himself and the situation but today something had snapped inside of him.He had completely lost control over himself and he wondered if Gulaal's cry had not interrupted him would he have been able to stop himself from beating Dushyant to death?A shiver ran down his spine as the answer came to him without a moment of hesitation...NO!!!
He almost staggered as he felt his legs give away .He held onto the table nearby and in the confusion the bottle of antiseptic lotion he had taken out crashed to the floor and broke into pieces.
Fear gripped Gulaal's heart when she heard the sound of glass crashing from inside the room.She almost ran to the room and opened it crying out,"Kesar...".She saw Kesar standing looking at the floor with a confused expression on his face.She let out a sigh of relief and closed her eyes.
"ouch..."she heard Kesar whimper and she opened her eyes to see him down on the floor trying to pick up the glass pieces.She walked towards him trying to avoid stepping on to the broken pieces as she said,"Kesar...rehne do...woh main kar loongi...tum yahaan aao baitho...main dawa laga dethi hoon...".Kesar remained quiet and did as she told him to.She carefully picked up the pieces and kept it aside for the moment.She got the first aid box and sat in front of him on the bed.She took a piece of cotton to clean the wound on his arm which now looked grimy with dried blood and dirt.Thankfully the cut was not deep.It was then that she noticed something.She had been so worried about the crash and Kesar that she had completely overlooked it but now sitting in front of him she couldn't ignore the fact that Kesar was not wearing a shirt.
It was not as if she was seeing him without a shirt for the first time.She had seen him before but then they were just accidental glimpses and even then she had not failed to admire his toned body.She blushed and mentally cursed herself for thinking about it in a situation like this.How can she be even having such thoughts?Maybe it was the shock...she will soon snap out of it and break down and then she realized something else.She was actually fine now.She was not going to break down.The moment Kesar had taken her into his arms she had stopped worrying about herself.She could not explain what it was that made her feel so safe and secure but she knew she was going to be okay as long as Kesar was with her.
"Gulaal...",Kesar's raspy voice caught her attention as she looked in his eyes.He continued,"Gulaal...mujhe maaf kar do...".Gulaal was perplexed.Why was he apologizing to her?"Kesar tum mujhse maafi kyun maang rahe ho?tumne toh meri..."Kesar did not let her speak as he spoke,"nahi Gulaal...maine tumhe majboor kiya is party mein jaane ke liye...tum toh aana bhi nahi chahthi thi...aur yeh chot...",his voice dropped off as he touched her forehead with his fingers gently."yeh chot...yeh bhi meri wajah se...aur car mein phir se tumhe hurt kiya...mujhe dhyaan rakhna chahiye tha..."
She felt him pull away his hand as he got up and walked toward the window unsteadily."Baba theek kehte hain...mujhe apne gusse par kaboo karna chahiye...isi ki wajah se aaj tumhe...".His voice trailed away and she saw him clench his fist.She moved closer to him and kept a hand hand on his shoulder hesitantly as she said ."Kesar...main sach keh rahi hoon...mera vishwaas karo main bilul theek hoon...mujhe kuch nahi hua hai...yeh chot toh maamuli hai Kesar..."
"aur yeh Gulaal...ise kyun chupa rahi ho...yeh bhi toh mere hi kaaran hua hai na...".
Gulaal was taken aback when he turned around in a swift movement and pulled away the pallu of her saree which she had wrapped around her shoulder.She was surprised at the vehemence in his tone and his sudden action.She could see the pain in his eyes as he stared at the scratch marks.She could not let him feel responsible for this.She moved closer to him and held his face in her hands,"Kesar meri aankhon mein dekho...tumhe kya kahin bhi darr dikhayi de raha hai...kya tumhe meri aankhon mein dard nazar aa raha hai... nahi na...patha hai kyun...kyunki tum mere saath ho Kesar aur jab tak tum mere saath ho mujhe kuch nahi ho sakta...kuch bhi nahi...".
Once again she got the wind knocked out of her when she felt him hug her tightly.He just kept muttering her name over and over again."Gulaal...".For a moment she was stunned but then a smile spread across her face as she threw her arms around his neck and closed her eyes.She could feel the tension in his body vanish as he smiled in relief across her shoulder.They both needed this moment and then something changed...
Gulaal opened her eyes with a sharp intake of breath when she felt his arms tighten around her and his fingers caressing her bare skin through her hair.She felt his lips place a soft kiss on her shoulder.She felt a surge of awareness through her body as his lips moved onto her neck.She tilted her head to a side unconsciously giving him better access and she felt goosebumps erupt all over her body as his lips left a trail of fire on her throat.She threaded her fingers through his hair as she heard him whisper,"Gulaal...".
Suddenly she had a moment of clarity.What was happening?What was she doing?Kesar was not in his senses right now.He was drunk and all the emotional upheavel that he had experienced tonight explained this sudden onslaught of feelings but what about her?She needed to be the sensible one here...the clear headed one.She had to stop him.
She untangled her arms and pushed him back muttering,"Kesar...".She blushed because it almost sounded as if she was pleading with him to go on.She could not blame him when he tightened his hold on her.
She pushed at him once again and this time she cleared her throat and took his name in a determined tone,"Kesar...".
This time he moved back and loosened his hold on her.He looked dazed but she did not fail to notice the look of desire in his eyes.She realized that her hands were still on his chest.She quickly pulled them away as if she had been burnt.She saw Kesar smirk and wanted to rebuke him but it died down when a smile threatened to break across her face.The situation was so weird.She turned around.She needed a moment to gather her thoughts and speak to him as to why this was not such a good idea.The very next moment all thoughts flew her mind when she felt his hot breath on her neck and his hand caressing her waist possessively.She closed her eyes giving into the sensation and did not protest when he turned her around.Even with her eyes closed she could feel the intensity of his gaze burn her.She opened her eyes as he pulled her towards him.She felt her body collide against his chest and she would have almost lost her balance if he had not been holding her.She knew this was the her last chance.She needed to speak out before she lost her senses."Kesar...main...",she could not continue as Kesar kept his finger on top of her lips."shhh...Gulaal",he whispered close to her lips.She could smell an odd mixture of alcohol and mint on his breath.She stopped breathing as he traced her lips lightly with his fingertips,"aaj kuch math bolo Gulaal...please... mujhe tumhari zaroorat hai...".
She knew she was lost.She would not be able to resist him and she finally admitted to herself that she did not want to anymore.She was tired of fighting...tired of being the sensible one.For once she wanted to do what her heart desired...what her heart craved for. She placed one of her hands on his cheek.She could feel the spark that travelled across her body.Without another word he picked her up in his arms and walked towards the bed.
"owww...",Kesar suddenly yelled out before dropping her on the bed unceremoniously.He was now holding his left leg and as she looked at it she understood the reason for his distress.A small piece of glass had managed to pierce his foot.She got off the bed,took hold of his foot and removed the glass piece carefully.She made sure that there was nothin left of it in his foot and looked up at him.He smiled sheepishly as he muttered,"Thanks...".She smiled back as she replied,"ruko main is par dawa laga dethi hoon...".She moved to get the cotton and a plaster.She made him lie down as she wiped away the blood and put the plaster.She looked at her handiwork and smiled as she said,"ho gaya ...".She did not hear any reply so she looked at his face and the sight made her laugh.Kesar was fast asleep.She moved towards his face and placed a kiss on his forehead as she muttered softly,"Good Night Kesar...".She saw a smile across his lips and it caused her heart to flutter.She hit herself on the head and went on to the washroom for a change of clothes with a happy smile on her face.
