The noble tradition of Deeyarvattu

Vasundhra

Originally posted by: vasundhara78

off late i have seen a horde of messages ..... of people saying they cannot see gulaal as kesar's wife and she is his bhabhi maa. and that what kind of non sense is it to marry off to a person 8 yrs younger and automatically gulaal is surrogate mother so she shud languish in widowhood forever .......... or marry dushyant ( gross) , or remain as a widow for all what she did for vasant.

have we changed from mediveal ages at all??

im totally exasperated!

no offense meant. but i needed to share my feelings over the subject.

deeyarvattu or marriage of widow bhabhi to young devar was a very noble tradition. it is still practised in some parts of india.

as things used to stand in traditional india, women were not educated ...... once widowed they had no means of lively hood. no hope of finding a partner outside as no one wud marry a widow. they cudnt return to mayaka as it was forbidden to live in mayaka for ever. it wud already be taken over by bhabhis. since she dsnt have a husband technically she cud exist in sasural but everyone knows how "piya bin sasural is like"!

she wud be forced to wear white, kept out of celebrations etc. worse she wud be an easy prey to male relatives seeking a bit of variety!

or thrown out on streets ......... she may be persuaded to sex trade. her kids wud be sold ........

so came deeyarvattu to rehabilitate a widow by marrying her to the devar , as chacha is next best thing to kids after father.

people are making it sound like it is all about sex ........ like the "older" woman is dying to have sex so she is enticing a man younger than her. they seem to be forgetting now kesar is an adult.

FYI deeyarvattu is such a noble tradition which aims at rehabilitation of an extremely weaker section of society ie th ewidow , to give her and her kids a chance to live respectfully and nobelly , securing her socially and financially.

why is this noble tradition being trashed so badly ......... ?

wud same people be questioning if it was widower jeeja and young saali ??

i am extremely disappointed to see such sexiest views by young generation.

SAD!

kudos to creaters of gulaal for showing deeyarvattu.

Originally posted by: vasundhara78

off late i have seen a horde of messages ..... of people saying they cannot see gulaal as kesar's wife and she is his bhabhi maa. and that what kind of non sense is it to marry off to a person 8 yrs younger and automatically gulaal is surrogate mother so she shud languish in widowhood forever .......... or marry dushyant ( gross) , or remain as a widow for all what she did for vasant.

have we changed from mediveal ages at all??

im totally exasperated!

no offense meant. but i needed to share my feelings over the subject.

deeyarvattu or marriage of widow bhabhi to young devar was a very noble tradition. it is still practised in some parts of india.

as things used to stand in traditional india, women were not educated ...... once widowed they had no means of lively hood. no hope of finding a partner outside as no one wud marry a widow. they cudnt return to mayaka as it was forbidden to live in mayaka for ever. it wud already be taken over by bhabhis. since she dsnt have a husband technically she cud exist in sasural but everyone knows how "piya bin sasural is like"!

she wud be forced to wear white, kept out of celebrations etc. worse she wud be an easy prey to male relatives seeking a bit of variety!

or thrown out on streets ......... she may be persuaded to sex trade. her kids wud be sold ........

so came deeyarvattu to rehabilitate a widow by marrying her to the devar , as chacha is next best thing to kids after father.

people are making it sound like it is all about sex ........ like the "older" woman is dying to have sex so she is enticing a man younger than her. they seem to be forgetting now kesar is an adult.

FYI deeyarvattu is such a noble tradition which aims at rehabilitation of an extremely weaker section of society ie th ewidow , to give her and her kids a chance to live respectfully and nobelly , securing her socially and financially.

why is this noble tradition being trashed so badly ......... ?

wud same people be questioning if it was widower jeeja and young saali ??

i am extremely disappointed to see such sexiest views by young generation.

SAD!

kudos to creaters of gulaal for showing deeyarvattu.

Originally posted by: damon_biteme

Hi I am new to the forum. I never watched the drama from the start because the starting promo put me off. I couldn't digest the whole idea of a person being able to find water under the earth. But recently while surfing channels saw the grown up Kesar really angry and a bit of pyschopathic which intrested me and decided to watch the drama from start. Now coming to the whole marriage between kesar and gulal.
@Vasundhara good topic. Do agree with the whole tradition and have a lot of respect for such traditions which support the weaker sex in the society. But then i can also understand the disgust some people are feeling about the relation. One has to agree that the way cvs have showed Kesar before the leap he didn't seem his age. Taking into account he is only 8 years younger than Gulal which makes about 16 years of age b4 leap as Gulal was supposed to be 22 (i read it some where i cld be wrong). He acted much younger than his age with his stupid talks like wanting to marry the same woman as his brother and the cvs projecting it as an innocent statement not like teasing his brother which could be digestable. Now lets go to Gulal choosing Kesar, it did seem like cradle snatching. Come to think of it Kesar was not an adult. I wld have condemned such an act even if a man was marrying a girl of that age. The idea of marrying a child is disgusting and a crime but have to say I do see that she married him to protect him.. I would have appreciated it if the cvs had shown Kesar act his age b4 the leap and the idea cld have been more platable.
BTW the idea of Dushyant marrying Gulal would not be that disgusting if the cvs had shown his redemption which they already are showing and win Gulal's love. Would be a different type of love story a woman falling in love with the guy who murdered her first love. But then that would not leave the window open of Dushanyant turn negative again the day Kesar and Gulal actually fall in love. The day he looses his love once again to Kesar he might turn back to the same old creep and we will have a similar story line of Vasant Gulal and Dushyant

Originally posted by: vasundhara78

she married kesar to protect herself from a marriage to dushyant. okay i might have got this wrong. I in order to stay in that house to protect kesar she was beign made to marry dushyant which she never wanted at any cost ........ becuase he lusted towards her . with kesar she neednt worry abou tthat since she felt safe with him. I kind of interpreted that her act of marrying Kesar was to protect Kesar and Reva as she promised Mothba and Vasant that she wld look after his family and thgt in doing so she wld save herself from marrying Dushyant. It was like killing two birds with one stone but the intention being selfless. This kind of suits Gulal's character. But if she married Kesar only to save herself from marrying D then it doesn't fit her character.This makes her look weak and selfish who chose to hide behind a child to save her hide which i don't think is the jist of the drama.

when she married kesar he was a child , bu the marriage was merely on papers. its not like she was using him sexually then. she was merely taking care of him. I never implied that she is a pedophile who would abuse a child. I clearly said she had very good intentions of marrying the child- his safety. I just forgot to state in clear words that she had no intentions of sleeping with him

but now the same person has grown up into an adult. now the realtionship is between two consenting adults. she is still not forcing anything on him ....... if its going anywhere its going to be mutual. See this is what I am find a bit difficult to comprehend.Yes they have become consenting adults no doubt about that. But till y'day Gulal used to humour him as a child and the relation seemed more like a elder sis having fun with her younger brother. If the story moves in the direction of G and K love story don't you think it is a bit difficult to digest that the same woman feels differently for child she used to humour. Don't get me wrong here. I have nothing against a older woman going for younger men. Each to his own. My own sister is married to a man 4 years younger than her but she only met him as man. All i am saying is the cvs could have shown Kesar more of his age and the relation between Kesar and Gulal more like friends. They could have shown Kesar had admiration (B4 you get me wrong I don't mean lust) for G rather him following her like a little lamb.

and she marrying dushyant is just plain gross much worse than seh remainign married to kesar .......... he may be changed today but he is one who killed vasant. i simpyl cannot digest the enormous misfortune of having to sleep with a murderer ( not just any but one who murdered her dear husband) its extremely repulsive. its one thing to forgive another to become a lover.

its much worse morally , ethically than remainign married to an adult man who happened to be a child years ago when marriage took place. Different people have different perspectives. I just thought it would be an intresting story line because i am sucker for stories with redemptions and hope.

and examples are aplenty in our own society of marriages between young men and older women sachin anjali ....... need i say more!?
I have already said this: me have know problems with that concept. Infact I am all for couple like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Their chemsitry is undeniable (😳😉).