Why Sai is not a doormat!!... Part 2 on page 4

Hello All,

This is something going on in my mind since a few days and thought of sharing with you.

It is not at all a reply/argument to any one in particular... just my opinion as to why Sai is not a doormat person.

Many are of the opinion that Sai is behaving like a typical doormat, lost her identity, has suddenly become mature/grown up etc.

I will mention what I feel.

Sai has not grown up suddenly. Certainly not in the current track. Her change has been gradual. Its just that it has come out in open suddenly. And to be honest, she still needs growing up (will come to that later)

According to me, Sai stopped being a girl and became an adult the day Aaba died. She was suddenly alone and had to fend for herself. The villagers abandoned her in a way.

The first decision she took on her own was of her suicide attempt and it failed. She realised she is not mature enough to deal with the circumstances.

The second decision she tried taking was whether to get married to V. Again she had doubts and frankly the situation was out of her control.

Then, they got married and V supported her in front of his family... her trust in him grew and she had someone she could look up to. Her second adult decision turned out good for the time being.

Then the cycle of abuse by the family started. In my opinion, Sai has generally not bothered much about them. She has said this many times jokingly and she takes in her stride. Had it been a real life situation, either she would have patched up with V, got divorced or worst would have been killed by the family. Things like these happen and its a mirror of the society. CN is highly toxic but its a show and they do this to create drama. Will not dweel upon it much.

But in all this, she found solace in her room, in her studies and in V. Everytime a kaand happened, V apologized and she forgave him. Because Sai has always been a very generous, honest and forgiving person. Also, whenever she is in dilemma, Aaba as her mind voice, guides her. And because he entrusted her responsibility to V, by extension Sai gives a chance to V everytime, trusting Aaba's judgement.

But she still had her integrity and her conviction in place. Because there was Pakhi's interference, Sai guarded her heart even though she was falling for V. (She has accepted it only just now). And thank God for that. Had she succumbed to his advances in name of marriage and all that it entails, she would have been in much bigger trouble. The emotional attachment that comes with a physical relationship is much greater than anything. Had that been the case, post anniversary, she would have been literally begging him, being the self pitying wallowing bahu.

Because there was no physical intimacy, Sai could walk out whenever it got too much. She did that twice. At both times, she gave her self respect more priority than her feelings. Again not a doormat.

But she always wanted the marriage to work. She mentions to Ashwini that she didn't like the anniversary celebration because it reminded her of Aaba's death. So subconsciously, she is not hurt of the idea of celebration, she is hurt because it reminds her of Aaba. Had V explained it to her instead of creating a surprise probably she would have agreed and enjoyed too.

Then the accident and Mimo track happened. I look at it as a reference point for the budding relationship.

By the end of Mimo, V had managed to convince Sai of her status in his life. They would have confessed had Shruti not happened. They trusted each other and this is also why V is still heartbroken. He believed that he had convinced her enough that there is no one who could take her place. I am not justifying V here. Just a POV why he feels betrayed.

Sai on the other hand was fed crap by Pakhi, then Mohit did bhanda phod and for the first time, Sai didn't behave rationally because her emotions were involved. She could have reflected upon whether it is possible for V to have an affair or when it could have occurred etc. She didn't dwell upon it then (as a medical student, she was better equipped to think about this). She did behave maturely though when she found out.

I am not discounting V here but he did tell her more than other family members, that he is in musibat and divulging more would be harmful. The birth certificate sign was a horrible coincidence and her kidnap even more. This is exactly what V was trying to avoid and yet it happened. The whole track has been a glaring example of miscommunication and coincidences. Again, not supporting V just the situations turned out that way.

But he needs to apologise... for keeping the birth certificate thing secret and for endangering her life.

I understand that many don't like V staying with Shruti and all that has happened. But he was keeping up the pretense. The situation had long gone out of his control and he was trying to salvage whatever he can. Also, in the end, Sada is arrested and Shruti has surrendered, so the purpose of the mission is fulfilled.

V's approach is questionable when looked at it from Sai's POV but what DIG said is also true that sometimes the means are not proper, result is. Too far fetched, but isn't that how spies and honeytraps work.

Anyway, this is not about V.

Post her kidnap and rescue however, Sai has changed. Till her kidnap, it revolved around the fact that V was having an EMA. And here, Sai was lost. By the end of Mimo, in her mind, Pakhi was out of picture but then came Shruti as a much bigger threat (with a kid). That hit Sai like an avalanche. She had believed that V will uphold the sanctity of marriage which it seemed like he did not at that point of time. And she did what a sane person would do. She once again removed herself from the situation instead of begging V to come back to her. Certainly not something a doormat person would do.

When this divorce drama was happening, I had made a comment as to why she is not fighting for her right? Why did she give up on V? People asked me why should she?

My POV then too was that theirs is a legal marriage. Husband-Wife is a relationship that trumps everything. She is legally his 50%. Why shouldn't she fight for it? and to be honest only she should fight for it instead of giving a chance to Pakhi/Shruti.

She gave up on that because they all believed that V faltered. Only after her kidnap did she realise that it was all because of a vaada. And here it trumps every logic because Sai can never doubt V in upholding a vaada when she herself is a vaada. That is why she is so apologetic. And what she is doing right now, is exactly that. She is fighting for the marriage, she is fighting for herself and she is fighting for V. Against everyone who has blamed her.

Many commented today that she lost her identity because she addressed herself as Mrs. Virat Chavan. I disagree. She was always Mrs. Virat Chavan. It is only that she had not accepted it.

Also, we humans are always a mixture of personalities. Our private one (visible only to few) is different than a public image. Sai too is a combination of personalities. She will always be Dr. Sai Joshi but she is also Mrs. Sai Virat Chavan which she embraced today. And for the first time both the personalities are in tandem with each other.

I see the chirpy, funny, badmaash Sai as Sai Joshi and the sensible, tactful one as Sai Chavan. They both are beauties, genuinely wonderful characters and they make up a whole woman who has a very pure heart and awesome personality.

Sai being a motherless child, doesn't really understand the manner in which situation can be handled, especially in a joint family setup. Initially she did it in her own way by tackling things head on. That led to a lot of ZA dramas. But she managed to turn many of them to her favour (ignoring the current dynamics)

In the current track, Sai has changed her tactic, she is still giving back, not taking anything lying down from CN but her style has changed. She is dealing with stuff smartly. The family members are just left standing, gawking at her and unable to respond.

The press conference today was fab. Sai asserted her rights in full force. In front of society, in front of CN, especially Pakhi and most importantly to V.

She gave it back to everyone who had ever doubted her intentions. But she did it honestly and with full conviction and without an ounce of drama, so much so that even BK Sonali appreciated her silently.

To me, nothing of this screams doormat. Sai is not letting anyone walk over her. She is dealing with it smartly and tactfully. She is not a wallowing self pitying kind of figure. She does things when she wants to and how she wants to. That is how I see Sai Joshi.

The only thing that remains now is a little bit of growing up in terms of becoming fully Sai Chavan by getting physically intimate with her husband and it will happen soon.

P.S. Also, I still have some faith left in Sai's writers (not ghums) that she will make him realise her hurt somewhere in future. She is just waiting for the right opportune moment and for that V has to first be in a condition where he will listen to her. So she will wait and then explain.

Also, Vanku did mention that there is a heart to heart talk in future, so yes fingers crossed. I think V will apologize after that.

Long post... rambling thoughts... not meant to offend anyone but comments are welcome.

Tagging only 2... because few inferences are derived from our discussions.

Superbly written 👏👏👏 your write up gives a very rational and sensible perspective within the ITV context 👌😊

Bravo nicely summarized 👏

You covered almost all important facets of sai joshi chavan!

Having control on all the outcomes of a decision is God’s territory.

Fighting bravely when the consequences of your decisions go wrong is man’s territory!

Virat and sai both did their best given their options and not compromising their values. For me beauty of both the characters come form there.

Vankar balanced them both by the end of the track.
looking forward to their personal talk which hopefully handles their hurt. 🤞

Thank you for writing this beautiful post. In a show full of one dimensional characters, they have managed to flesh out a unique and nuanced character in Sai Joshi. And that quite possibly is the single reason (along with AS) for the success of Ghum.

To dovetail with your analysis, Pakhi’s slowly disintegrating mental state is very interesting also. In the beginning, she was ok because no one accepted Sai as V’s wife including V and the family. Over time, S managed to win over quite a few family members, but not all of them. P realized she had lost V somewhere around the cafe drama. She was still ok. But lately, it seems that S has been acknowledged by all as Virat’s wife including the family (even if they hate her), the DIG and his colleagues (who love and respect her), the neighbors, the media. For all intents and purposes, Sai has established herself as the rightful Mrs. virat chavan, a place that P has always coveted. In all of this, P always, always had the trump card - no matter who accepted Sai as V’s wife, Sai NEVER accepted herself as his wife. But now, Sai has not only accepted it but she has done so publicly and is asserting her rights as his wife. This is where P’s breakdown is going to happen. This is where she is going to fall apart. And this is laying groundwork for the next track. I only hope that they handle it better than the Shruti track.

Thank you so much.

I tried to make sense of what I feel.

Exactly...

They both reacted to circumstances in a way they found appropriate at that time. Can't really say it's any one person's fault.

Thank you for the discussions 😃. Few points are through you ☺️

Absolutely...

Pakhi's all degradation is because of her delusion that she still matters and then her frustration because nothing works out the way she wants.

For a lack of better word, right now her chatpatahat is clearly seen. She has lost everything she hoped for. Definitely a kaand is happening in future.

Nicely portrayed by Aish. You can feel her frustration.

Well said. Well said indeed. And people change with changed circumstances. That doesn’t mean they become doormat. I wouldn’t even call Ashwini doormat toh Sai is out of question.

Also, she was more pissed during anniversary because she thought why celebrate a day which has no significance. (Deal wali shadi).

Never thought this forum still has some one like you apart from Sadhika,who could judge the charecters,situations and consequences with great composure and without bias. Such a bliss to read this and I still can’t believe that it is a post from current forum member.

Immensely thankful to you for making me feel that I did not make a mistake by tapping on this post.

Wonderful analysis of Sai Joshi Chavan in and out.

Yes she is not a doormat. She could never be.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing Virat’s perspective without being judgemental. I also agree that the means he adopted was wrong but the intentions never .

His expectations for Sai also you explained with valid reasons. Thank you.

Such a relief. This forum still has something to offer by means of good analysis like you did. Thanks again.

Thank you for such kind words.

I am glad I could make you feel that way.

Sadhika has been a great sounding board to me. We realised pretty soon that we think in similar fashion. I guess being married gives us a different perspective. 😆

I love Sai. She is a beautiful character. But i don't hate V either.

He has grown in a certain family setup and Sai in completely another. This is their contrast. And this is also why he is in love with her.

I always reflect upon their behaviour in their room as their true characters. They are completely different when talking about themselves.

It changes the moment Pakhi enters or the discussion moves to whatever kaand is happening.

If you remove them from CN, they are perfect companions to each other. They have the potential to make each other a better version of themselves.

It is only because everything happens (and has to happen in ZA because how the show will move forward) that the situation escalates. 🤣

Anyway... Thank you for liking this.

Happy to interact. 🤗