Good morning lovelies! š»š»
The shine is not yet back but one can hope that the new week will signify a new start.
Wouldn't we have loved the scenes where the mirror was held to Virat's face to be as dramatic as those where he spiralled into the dungeon Bhavani guards in that Chakram niwas? But the subdued retorts in measured words just did it well -- because no matter what Queen B says, "sach ko chilla kar kehna zaroori nahi hota"... The conscience of one awakened soul can do a handy job at awakening the conscience of another, who has gone astray in a moment of lost control.
Two scenes that stood apart of the two people who tried to awaken the conscience from its stupor with absolutely selfless motivation:
Mohit in the zillat arena
Aai expressing her disappointment in the 'mard' that her Godu turned out to be.
Mohit was 'love' today -- he spoke the right words at the right time in the right measure. The appalling 'mera paisa hai' attack had left Virat aware that he had crossed his line and couldn't go any further but it was also a point of no return -- the damage was done. The moment Sai handed over his money back to him, he had achieved what he wanted. She had been "disciplined" -- disciplined enough to distance herself from him, enough to decide to check out of the 'hotel' and begin her journey on her own... he knew he didn't need to say anything more to anyone...
Mohit's reason to stand up for Sai was not as a return favour but from his own newfound sense of 'koi toh hai jo mere liye awaaz uthata hai' -- the same dialogue that Sai said in her breakdown in Aai's arms.
Mohit's feeling of let down in Virat was so genuine -- the example that has been given to him to emulate for countless years. Finally, the lustre of perfection came off and how-- "What is the point of being educated and an IPS officer when you're not even a good human being?"
In that moment, Virat had already lost -- he knew he had that moment.
What a slap it should have been for those BA-MA Kakus, who have been building this Statue of Susheelta on the foundations of a dark hole of lust, mauka parasthi and manipulation when Mohit told Sai, "Vahini, aap meri chhoti behen jaisi hain... Main apne paise se aap ke liye khaana laaunga..."
The purity in the bond that has been forged between Mohit and Sai -- and the impact that Sai's faith in Mohit has had on him. As she said, I didn't know he would use the confidence to stand up to his family for me. What a contrast -- he also stood up to the man who has always been the one seen as "standing up" to oppression. And for once, Mohit appeared to be more prepared to take on confrontations than Virat has ever been. He is not the people pleaser. He shut his wife and his mother because they were siding with injustice and trying to influence him to walk on the same path. For once, I saw a bigger hero in Mohit than Virat... Who told this guy that he needed to emulate any one else in that house? He just needed to be himself and Sai introduced him to the man he was hiding within. Today, he rose to the occasion when she most needed it.
It left everyone surprised, including the sabse Susheel and Sabse Vedi vahini, who couldn't understand what she was watching -- the actual definition of 'dosti', 'pavitra rang', 'dost ki madad karna' and 'dosti between a Vahini and her dir' unlike her innermost dreams of usurping the coveted seat next to her husband's cousin's rib, which she thinks is going to be vacated because the damage is done... She has never believed in rebuilding so her progressive delusion is not surprising.
But what about Virat -- has he seen the Despokhi Dost who's obsessing over feeding him the zeher laced morsel to establish her own entitlement on him -- we speak of male entitlement because it is promoted by the misogynistic society. But while Virat's male entitlement revolves around the notion of his 'haq' on Sai's attention and emotions, Vahini's female entitlement is about guilty tripping him with "I deserve more because you promised you will do more" -- it is about establishing the guilt that he should feel for rejecting her and 'forcing' her into an unwanted marriage, about getting an acknowledgement that he knows she's the only one who will 'care for him and love him' and that feeling is enough for him to live his life in an otherwise empty shell...
Thank God for small mercies that Vedi vahini was told off in the harshest words he has used for her so far. There is a lot of scope for improvement in that front š
Ashwini and PP scene was short but powerful -- for once in private without PP having the need to put on sham. She was real when she was left tongue tied with Ashwini's "doosron ke Pati par dore daalna bandh Karo... Apne Pati ke liye prarthana Karo"... Just yesterday I mentioned how this woman has never even said a prayer for Samrat's return even as a human being. But she has all the time in the world to strut around with dinner plates after a man, who she knows will only eat at the hands of his 'wife'... But then vahini has to attempt to shake the "rishtey ki neev" by reminding him that his biwi has no "izzat" for him -- piercing his male ego like she knows she must for him to be overcome by his vulnerability that she is aware of -- parivaar ki izzat -- she is a victim of this very vulnerability that came in his way when he had to choose her, she thinks. But she can't let go of this second chance that life is offering to her to 'mahal banana' once the sand castles built by Sai are completely washed away...
The much awaited scene between Virat and Ashwini is only half satisfying because of the presentation. There was a lot that she could have addressed in the given moment -- but she chose to convey her message in the minimal words. They seemed to have impacted him yet his sudden realisation of the 'wrong' he did seemed abrupt because it does not really convey if he's going to address the issue that is the cause of the regular flare ups between them, the misconception of the 'vaada' that is now non existent.
It often happens that when a fight escalates between spouses (or between anyone for that matter), the reason why the fight began -- the root cause of the animosity -- is often forgotten. So, although the trigger for the flare up is fresh in memory, one tends to over look the actual cause of the fight, which is always some other deep-rooted or unresolved difference that has ensured distance in emotional connection or communication.
For Sai and Virat -- the trigger was Sai's stubborn stand on visiting the professor, who she did not want to reveal about. It was a cause of valid concern. But the action and reaction from both Sai and Virat, respectively, came from the underlying unresolved issue of the "belonging" as husband and wife.
Ashwini was fair in showing him the mirror for the issues of the moment without sounding like she was interfering in their private relationship-- in matters of the marriage deal. She could have addressed that too but she respected the fact that it wasn't her space. She only needs to ensure they reconcile at this moment and the one who needs to make the first move is Virat because it was his reaction to Sai's action that actually escalated the fight. The mother did a fair task at it -- she was just and acknowledged that both were wrong but she called out the extreme reaction, which was done in an attempt to correct the first wrong. This extreme reaction was wrong and had really torn into any possibility of diffusing the tempers.
In reminding Virat about his father, she conveyed her own angst as a wife; Virat's surprise at the comparison was a bit confusing -- was it his surprise at "oh, did I really behave like him" or "oh, is that what he has been doing to you"... I went with the first. It is not possible that Virat hasn't seen some of the abuse that his mother has suffered. She must have shielded him from drawing impressions as a child by letting the abusive behaviour pass unlike now where she has nothing to lose by retorting to Ninad. But children always sense toxic environments and so Virat must have had at least the basic information that their parents' marriage is far from being a paradise... But if so, his deep idolising of his father is inexplicable.
Ashwini reminded him of the 'force' he used -- physically and emotionally -- to gain his one-upmanship on his wife. First by grabbing her hand and then by denying her the right to a meal as a member of the family, added to it then reminder 'kiska paisa hai' -- all of which became actions coming from the sense of male dominance than the actual 'concern' that it began with. The speed at which it spiralled into being so wrong from both the ends that the two people involved in it could not see why one of them needed to stop the race of trying to make it appear "right"
Full points to Ashwini for reminding Virat that a man must be "matured" enough to handle his woman's fury. "Aurat ko bhi gussa aa sakta hai... Aur ye baat mardon ko pata honi chahiye." -- the quick reminder that in a misogynistic society, the "mard" is taught to exhibit the anger as his right, use force and crush any bit of rebellion that his woman tries to put forth. It was so well juxtaposed with the Makad Sena finally enjoying their celebratory dinner because chaheeta beta has respected the 'maryaada of the mards' of Chavan niwas by crossing his maryaada with a woman who was just beginning to let him into her heart. š„ŗ
The notion of the entitlement that man has on his woman is reinforced without making it mandatory for the man to unfailingly also perform his own duty as the 'husband' to the woman.
And absolutely in the right place to tell him that it was Sai who asked questions about the 'patriarchy' and the 'entitlement' that men take pride in. But Virat, Aai's Virat, was not among those men and she had told her with great conviction : "Tum dekhna wo aaj bhi ladega tumhare liye"... So the anguish of the mother in asking, "Tumne aisa Kyun Kiya Virat... Main Kabhi Soch bhi Nahi Sakti thi ki Mera beta apni Patni ke Saath -- Kisi ke bhi saath -- aisa Kar Sakta hai..."
It was a necessary memory recall for Virat that Sai was already dealing with an unresolved anguish when they nosedived into this brutal and ultimate take down of each other in full public view.
And Ashwini's reminder about the fact that it was Sai, who despite being his wife was the one to apologise to the unreasonable Venomous Vahini for the Ladakh outing, while no one else apologised to Sai brought him back to the issue along with the much needed reminder that she did not "doubt his intention" when it was assumed that he would travel alone with his 'best friend gone bonkers'. It was noteworthy that Ashwini did not mix up the issue of Patralekha's behaviour with the more pressing issue at hand -- which was to get Virat to move towards reconciliation with Sai first. Ashwini now knows that the subject of the past is open between the husband-wife and it is for them to resolve it.
She reminded him that Sai had trusted him -- her husband-- enough to not object to his going alone with even his 'ex lover, who hasn't yet let go of the past'.
That reminder was a clincher in pricking the conscience that was otherwise being silenced, trying to justify the injustice Virat has meted out to Sai. When her trust in him had been so unflinching and the 'wife' had been so undemanding, how could he have crossed his line just to exercise his dominance? But does letting go of the sense of male entitlement mean that the husband must be reduced to a never-criticising soulmate? Definitely not. The awareness that men are not entitled to any womanās body, affection, time, or conversation, no matter what -- is different from a man knowing when to intervene and stop his woman from being unjust, wrong or unreasonable.
Was the "Arrey Yaar..." moment enough to convey his repentance? No. He has an uphill climb to make before he can knock at the door of the fort Sai has recoiled into to even express regret and seek the forgiveness.
Sai definitely is a broken person... Her pain is so deep that it will take quite a while for her to pick up the pieces of her brokenness from this humiliation and restart. Her breakdown in Ashwini's arms and "mujhe rona aa raha hai" was so heart wrenching and her monologue to her Aaba's picture an honest, straight confession that she too was aware how she had hurt him deliberately by questioning the integrity of his decision to marry her. How badly did Virat let down her belief that 'Wo aisa Kuch Nahi Kar Sakte jiss se mujhe dukh pohche..' How the earth slipped from under her feet when he decided to pull the rug himself, denying her not just the meal but the right to "come back home" at the end of the day -- why shouldn't she check out of the 'hotel'?
Meeting Virat in his eyes in her moment of breaking down and saying that she felt consoled that someone (Mohit) thought about her conveyed so much of that final surrender -- the final resignation that there was no more reason to hang in because the reason was the man himself.
But today the man who could "never hurt me" could not find his composure even in his reflections -- "Pata Nahi main Sai ko Kabhi maaf bhi Kar paunga ya nahi." The reflection of the moment when Sai returned the 'mere paise' in his hand was a more powerful memory than that of the same hand which held her arm by force... Because the reflection was not to introspect but to weigh the hurt and convince himself that he was the one who was humiliated...
While he finally did see his reflection in the mirror held by his mother with her clear 'Tum galat they', he didn't particularly like what he saw in the mirror, as expected. What now remains to be seen is the reason he offers to Sai to seek forgiveness for his ugliest transgression so far, which will continue to top the chart for a long time.
Sai seems to be in no mood to forgive, obviously, and one can wish that apart from a genuine, heartfelt repentance, he is forced to address the question she has asked twice -- Don't you love the woman who you call your 'friend'? Hope he answers her spashthly.
If the misconceived notions are addressed and the abrogation of the T&Cs to the marriage articulated, Sai will automatically be in a better position to understand Virat and vice versa... But even at the end of the conversation that Virat must have, it would only be fitting if the apology is mutual and so is the forgiveness -- the transgression of one spouse has been more severe than the other because it crosses the realm of the relationship and ventured into the territory of human values. It will remain inexcusable in many ways and also add the first knot to the thread that binds them. But in all honesty one cannot weigh the errors they made as spouses in the boundary of their pious relationship -- they both owe each other a sincere apology and forgiveness, not just for the tamasha in public but also the moments when they have humiliated each other in private. They need a fresh start -- and nothing is better than melting in one another's embrace... Bappa Kare!
Few questions:
Why was Virat wearing the jacket from morning to evening inside the house? Is he trying to protect his aabroo from the obsessed eyes following him?
Did Mallika-e-Maturity forget that Sai is yet to leave the room and she's in a hurry to shift inside already? Thank God she didn't come armed with the suitcase that was anyway packed for the honeymoon with 1.47hours husband.
What did Didi see? š
Why does this adamant, egositic husband and wife pair absolutely defy all logic and reasoning of shutting tight their bedroom door?
*****
So, Monday will be the morning when we will finally get to know if the jalebis are still being fried or there will be some straight churros being served dipped in chocolate of penance. Will Sai approve of the new sweet dish and break her upvaas?
Let's ponder over coffees āāā and teas šµšµšµ and because chocolate has been mentioned, why not add some cheer for free š«š«š«
Hugs š¤š¤š¤ and love ššš to all those who are in need. Aur Chahiye toh bejhijhak maang lena!
Aabhar ššš for enriching days with so much idea exchange here.
Have a great weekend
Love you all
ā¤ļøJ
Arjun
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