Originally posted by: jankiraghav
I completely agree with you and I am replying first to this post because this is exactly what I wrote a couple of days back during the Alta episode when everyone said his character was being butchered. I really do not think it is the butchering of the character ... It is the revealing of his character. We have seen him too good to be true and his flaw has to be more than just being emotionally sensitive and ever ready to sacrifice himself.
@bold: I totally agree with it and it is so perfectly put that I cannot even begin to tell you how each word is exactly what I want to say.
He is of course also a human being and he cannot be perfect. What was the 'grey' in him that we saw until the Amey track followed by the Aniket outburst and then the Alta episode? Nothing. Being in love or having a heartbreak or telling a woman that he is only a name-sake husband is not really a "grey".
The grey starts now -- it is now that he has finally come to a point where there is something at "stake" for him and he does not want to be the self-sacrificing one -- he cannot be. It is out of his control. He has finally got a "Thing" and I am consciously using the word "thing" because he is yet to realise that it is a 'person with feelings and a heart'-- exactly what he didn't like to hear when she said that to Amey --he has got a "thing" that is his -- it has always been his even when he did not know. He has been drawn to Sai right from the word go -- but she is not really 'the one' he ever imagined she would be. His picture perfect wife -- who would also appease his family -- is "Patralekha", unche ghar ki padhi likhi sundar susheel shahannav kuli maratha khandaan wali who would have Kaku's approval, who would not need him to get involved in confrontations that he has never been accustomed to handling.
But now, he has fallen in love with this woman who is unlike him despite being the one his soul seeks -- she is confrontational and that is his biggest fear: confrontations. To add to it, she is also rebellious and puts up this decent facade of being indifferent to him when she's actually not. She pushes him to take stands, which he would never take unless it is an absolute visible erosion of justice. He is helpless because he knows he cannot let her go. But he doesn't know how to handle this -- he knows there can never be a middle ground with an unbending family on one side and a woman, who will pick up every piece of her self-respect and simply walk away.
He NEVER imagained that he would have to wage a war against his family to have her with him all the time. He doesn't want to -- that is why the reluctance. He knows that if he doesn't cover this zillat arena of the house with a sheen of "peace", she will leave one way or the other -- no matter how porus the sheen will be. He thinks getting her to bend is a better option than to rebel against the family -- because he thinks he can "acche se manao" her after any kind of confrontations since she is easy to manao as compared to the family. It is a typical husband behaviour of a man high on his sense of entitlement: You are mine, I can tell you things in public to diffuse situations and we will make up in private because that is where I also give you the best side of me that no one else except you has... His urge to get into "main bol raha hoon" controlling moments with her is to prove the point to the family -- she is my wife and under my control so you can trust me and leave her (us) alone. He wants to establish it as a normal. But unfortunately, Sai will not take his orders blindly and he is unable to show the family that he is in "control". It totally makes him go wild because "Sai samajhti nahi hai". And now, at a make or break point, he is desperate -- so everything is fair in love and war. There can be only one more thing he can do at this point which will be even worse than what he did today in his attempt to exercise his control -- actually two (hate me for saying this) -- actual physical abuse or the forceful consummation of marriage. To me, after today, anything else that he does is going always be on Point 2 or lower of his transgressions because his behaviour today will remain on Point 1 of his transgressions, for a long, long time. Because, I still believe immensely in the goodness that he has -- his conscience will awaken, he will repent and he better do. And I trust that he will not cross over to the two remaining things that I mentioned. Virat cannot.
So to me, telling her to leave the house -- which we all know is coming -- is not even going to be a "sin" on his part anymore. It will, infact, be the much needed step for both of them. A couple needs space to reconcile and rework on their relationship. While he gets his space away from the family, it is Sai who is constantly subjected to the negativity and it will be a breath of fresh air for her to move away from him and reevaluate his position and place in her life and heart. And of couse her absence will bring him face to face with the filth that lies under the glittering chandeliers of the mansion his family is so conceited about-- and also he.
He cannot let her go, not for any kind of zimmedari humbug but for his own self-- call it his "haqq" that he feels he has on her. It was so strong that it took him barely a few days to override even Kamal Joshi's right to access her -- there are minor build ups to the story that we have been told. Kamal Joshi trusted him completely and it was a reassurance he had that his "haqq" on her was unchallenged. Now I don't want to use the word "control" -- because he did not even have any intention behind it. It was so inexplicable that none of us can even describe it beyond the word "connection" --- which is also uttered by him when he had to just disguise and visit her in the safe house. Was that milkman attire part of his zimmedari? No. Was it not a break from his character as a straight-faced ACP? We did not see it as a break because when things are rosy we enjoy these moments as romantic -- we see it from the perspective of what the hero wants to do for the heroine. We do not see it as abnormal because it does not involve any "wrong" on the face of it. We do not question it.
But now, the "haqq" is no longer inexplicable. He married her because of his fear of losing connection with her more than the pressure from the vaada or the villagers. He could not explain to her why he wanted to marry her. It was not love but it was a connection that he felt only with her -- it was so strong that it overpowered his emotion that he actually called "first love" with Patralekha. It was Sai who reminded him, prodded him about what he would do to mollify or explain to "Pakhi" about his decision to marry her. Again, he had no answers. He chose the 'umeed mat rakhna' as a way to remind himself that he cannot actually turn this "haqq" into a tangible one-- of a husband and wife. I do not think it was as much for the loyalty to his vaada to Pakhi as for his own sense of satisfaction that he was being 'honest'.
But now th "haqq" has a definition -- Main Pati hoon tumhara. And it comes with the automatic "umeed"-- that is manifested in his awareness that he is "doing things for her" , maine tumhare liye bohat kuch kiya hai, tumse shaadi maine ki, maine tumhe Jagtap se bachaya (khajoor pe bhi atkaya), maine tumhe hifazat di, maine tumhara admission karaya, maine tumhe paise diye...
Is this umeed manipulative? No. It is natural. It is something that no one can control. So, a couple of days back when Nitu (@yyy) posted about their deal and we were discussing, I also mentioned they were both foolish to think that they would be able to have any control over the emotions that are involuntary -- she thought she would continue to be indifferent and not fall in love with him. She failed. He thought he would be okay with her indifference and not fall in love with her. He has failed. The deal has been invalidated a long time back.
And Sai is aware of it. That is why she told him clearly:
You want to break the deal by exercising your husband rights? So, I will also break the deal by demanding your husband duties.
Now the issue of male entitlement is so complex. There is no man on this planet who doesn't have a sense of entitlement on the woman in his life. I want to generalise that in my loudest voice. The entire world suffers this patriarchal trait of men -- they all deem they are entitled to complete control over the women and yes, 90% of the women are caught in a situation where the male entitlement is accompanied by rigid, unbending, remorseless abuse of some kind and the entire onus of the functioning of the marriage is based on the compliance the woman offers to what the husband wants.
So the "haqq" and the "umeed" in this sense manifest itself in the form of his need to have her to adhere to his notion of his "life partner" because that is how he wants her -- as a life partner. It has been that way since the moment he married her. He never meant to let her go and she never meant to leave either. Even in their eye contact today, they saw they were evidently hurting each other but their resentment in that moment for each other was so palpable, so strong that neither of them wanted to be the one to let go...
I don't know what about his apology that will come will make Sai melt -- will it be her knowledge that despite all his transgressions and flaws, he is the only one who really also cares about her (which he does, let's face it) and he's indeed repenting his action. Or will she forgive him because she has also has reached that point where she has begun to believe that he can be 'loved' even in his ugliest moments? Because, ultimately, as viewers, we can only judge. It is these two characters who are going to make their decisions based on what their heart wants.
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
