Love n Uljhan (Part#7, pg.38) updated! 19/3 - Page 6

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sporthy_smile28 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#51

Originally posted by: sophiexx

Uljhan is a problem, so love and problems makes sense to me. Anchal must be the problem, right. Since you've got history with her lol. Reading the prologue, I can defo say I've never read such a story. Maan lives in the slums and is looked down upon due to his and his father's doing. Is Geet the mimsaab, if she is I'd assume she's older than Maan. So far it's interesting


Aanchal 🤣

Please meri aachal ko akela chod do 😆

On a serious note i have never attempted a serious story so far

So scared n nervous too 🤢

Thanks for reading
Twenty1st thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#52

Part 1

And the plot thickens, dowry - don't know what to think. To me what comes to mind, is that the family want the money instead of the girl and for that reason I frown upon it, stories (FF) have taught me so. Her mother's worried about something, something is definitely wrong but she's kept away. The 3 generation part - I've started a story with a similar plot to that.

Now who's this guy, is he the husband of the girl on top who maybe Geet. So confused, like seriously confused. Menal, I'm not so confused about; her character seems like the cowish cows. She's a bit like Deepali from MB who's quite desperate.

And the next paragraph is even more confusing, I just finished my exams today so my brains gorn on holiday after the tedious amount of studying I've done. I can't make head for tail so far, if that was your aim then congrats you've just about put in a maze. Thankfully one confusions over, he's Maan that spelt over (n his poor). I loved this bit, Menal falling to the ground was epic hahaha. Ok next time hopefully more of these confusions would be answered. But it's interesting in a confusing kind of way lol, nah I liked it

Keep it coming

Twenty1st thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#53

Originally posted by: sporthy_smile28


Aanchal 🤣

Please meri aachal ko akela chod do 😆

On a serious note i have never attempted a serious story so far

So scared n nervous too 🤢

Thanks for reading



Teek hai chod di tumari Anchal ko 😆

no need to worry sweets, I'm liking it so far. There's al element of mystery which is totally working for you
sporthy_smile28 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#54

Originally posted by: sophiexx



Teek hai chod di tumari Anchal ko 😆

no need to worry sweets, I'm liking it so far. There's al element of mystery which is totally working for you


Thank you 😊
sporthy_smile28 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#55
Part#2

Flashback (2012)


Dipping a finger in the glass of alcohol he started to play with the gas bubbles which formed around the glass, while he looked on to the popping tiny bubbles at his finger lying his head on the table...

He was heavily drunk again... and this wasn't new to him but today wasn't just another day today he was disturbed for the very first time for someone else... some lady addressed as memsahib!!

"What does she think of herself" he mumbled to no one in particular

Picking up the remaining contents of the glass which half spilled due to his unsteady hands he threw it across the table coz of the frustration which was piling up within him... while the owner of the liquor shop shook his head and continued to count his money...

Looking at the crushed glass and the liquor dripping down the table he didn't know what was happening around him, frowning a little he tried to find if had anymore money to buy an other drink for him... when he didn't find any he quietly moved out of the shop which was quite surprising for rest of them...

Usually at such situations he would either pick up a fight with someone or create a big scene at the counter but today nothing like that happened so the rest thanked their stars

Stumbling over his own feet he decided he would never visit that house again.. or else that witch would get a chance to badmouth the kind lady again..

Due to the rain last night the road was full of mud and puddles he some how dragged himself to the only person who would lend him money

"Saru..." he shouted falling outside her door...

The slum which he stayed didn't have proper water facility so all the houses which stood on few bamboo sticks n covered with thick layers of plastic sheets and torn pieces public banners had a drum of water container at the door...

Unfortunately the drum which was just filled also fell down emptying it completely

This was the scene Sarswati kaki witnessed which took her blood to boiling point

Without an other thought she pulled out the stick which was near to her and started hitting him all the while cursing him...

"Ka*#*** khurana wasted all the water... now who will fill it huh??

Fil"#y dog... now get lost from here!!" She closed the door of her house leaving him lying in the mud with blood oozing from few of his wounds... while the onlookers just walked away as this was a common scene...

Sarswati kaki had a reason to bare his nonsense well she had a young daughter and a plan to get her married!!




Present


Entering his apartment he threw the keys across the table and headed for a quick shower... his apartment had a hall and a bedroom with attached bathroom, kitchen was a part of the hall which he divided with an old shelf which he also used as the kitchen platform... his house was pretty small but enough for himself to live in...

"Ghar ghar hi hota hai maan... even a passionate traveller or a bird in the sky when they get tired they knew they have a place to head back to...

You won't understand it now... but will experience it one day"

She said it casually one day and when he got his first pay all he did was to search for a place he would call home..

Getting ready in jet speed, he picked up his Scooty keys and headed to his work place... he knew he was running out of time... one his office was just in opposite direction of that of kailash bhaisahib's and two his boss wasn't available on phone so he had to go to his office to apply for a half day leave..

There was heavy traffic on his way and to his luck it his boss picked the call this time...

Sitting inside a small local tea stall he and kailash bhaisahib shared a few moments of silence taking a deep breath not knowing where to start

"Maan... what is the point of all this now... that too after so many years... we all happy for you and even she is..

Trust me maan she would be so proud of you.." he said giving my hand a tight squeeze...

Holding his hand with my other hand i pleaded him with at most desperation in my voice... i knew the guilt of my deed would never let me live in peace

"Bhaisahib please you are the only one who knew everything... and i feel you are hiding something from me... "

Taking his hands back from mine he leaned back in his seat and looked at me with so much pain

"Maan... she wouldn't like it..." he said

Please...



**************


2007




"Bhabi you look so pretty!!" Meenal exclaimed entering my room not even bothering to wish my mother who was in the same room

"Wow such a beautiful peace of jewellery!! I'll ask bhai to gift me similar design and he would never say No... " she said picking up the necklace and smiling at me innocently... that piece was my grandmother's last memory i had and in this situation neither me nor mom could say a word more...

Before I could ask her to put it back my mom interrupted me as started talking about some kundan set... and thank God she was distracted and took interest in what my mom was saying...

And mom tactfully took her out of my room signaling me to put away the jewellery in the locker safely...

I wonder how could a girl of her age have so much greed in her... i was still thinking about all that when i saw a visibly shaken kailash enter my room... he was sweating and looked tensed about something...

Kailash was my uncle's son my first cousin... he was just an year older to me... but i knew even if I had my own brother he wouldn't have loved me as much as kailash

"Where is maa?? I asked her to stay in ur room... where did she go" he asked with his voice getting a pitch higher than usual...

"Bhai... mom just went out a minute back... she was here all the while!" I got up from the dressing table and walked towards him lifting my heavy lehenga...

"What's the matter Bhai?" I asked resting my palm on his cheak...

Like he almost read fear and worry in my eyes he quickly shook his head and put a fake smile on his face...

"You are looking like a princess today... hope you stay shield from all the evil eyes!" He said giving me a hug... he left in a hurry...

And then i had this gut feeling which was telling me that somewhere something has started it's just the matter of time till it reaches me and everything slips out

Faint ring of my phone from somewhere across the room caught my attention... om searching i found it lying under my dressing table... as the ringing continued i picked it up to see

Dheraj calling!!

But why is he calling me now!!





To be continued...





Edited by sporthy_smile28 - 9 years ago
Flame_of_Forest thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#56
this is a beautiful update..
Maan is completely transformed over the years...from the drunken state and a mess of life into a disciplined and meaningful one.

now I get it when you said about the 'she taught him'...
she has greatly impacted him to be a better person and to live a better life...

sometimes some people come and touch one's life to change it.
she is that person for him.
probably he had been doing all the things as she wanted him to do, it is for her.

back then in his first meeting with her, he could make out the difference of attitude between Meenal and the women, his memsahib..Meenal's accusation angered him, not for himself though the accusation was about him too, but he felt it for her.

it is really getting interesting about the bond between the two...something which cannot be precisely named..there is respect, there is love..there is a boundary.

and now in the present, after he has achieved something in life, a job, a home, he is searching her..there is desperation and vulnerability in his request to Kailash.
he is trying to compose himself with the hope of meeting her again..
but where is she now..he said he is guilty about something.

the whole marriage is giving a feeling of kind of fiasco..but she still stuck to it.

and after YMH, here comes the punching lines again, 'a passionate traveler...' superb!
keep them coming..

PS - Edited again after the song addition..;)
Edited by Flame_of_Forest - 9 years ago
sagorika93 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#57
congrtz for the new story
happy to see u writing again 😊

the intro was amzng
its different and interesting
I would love to read more and more
sagorika93 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#58
first part was nice
woh girl geet hai kya ?
and dowry ? Babaji koi police ko toh bulao 😲
and that he was maan kya ?
lill confuse between past and present's he and she
I hope all my confusion will clear in the upcoming parts 😛
menal is so disgusting ...yeww !!
her cheap thoughts and now she is married still she is chance maroing on her devar maan
sagorika93 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#59
2nd part was superb
in past geet was getting engaged to someone but something was wrong I guess ..
want to know what actually happened in past
menal is not just a disgusting gal but also a greedy gal ...

in present
maan want to know about memshahab ? kailash know something but is not ready to tell him
let's see what happen next
continue soon ..
jasika08 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#60
Nice update
Waiting for next update.

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