I'm a lot behind Fozia and I just finished Chapter 5.
Some initial thoughts: Family feud, takeovers, sibling rivalry, boss - secretary, father -son elements all warrant undiluted drama and I have to say, I'm getting my fill here.
Eventually, I think, Maan will have a steeper character curve than most others in the story (Ok..no speculating)
I love the small details that you add and how they directly point to the characters themselves.
- Maan's note: "Early lunch" which he'd left at 10 PM...the guy doesn't even want to be delicate about it, eh? Nor does he seem to have a care about the impression he was leaving on the new hire.
- Also, especially in the scene where Geet comes into Maan's room and he's aimlessly swiveling in his chair. Lord! In that scene, for obvious reasons, I could only picture him as a lost boy in his dad's office where everything is of size monster - ready to eat him alive.
- Withdrawal seems to come easy to him. Would be good to know, why so?
I can't wait for you to explore this man of many layers, for I have this strong instinct that he is not the same inside as what he seems to be on the surface of it all.
I will wait to speak about Geet. At first, she comes across desperate need a job and yet there was - how do I put it? - a laid back attitude on the first day of office. I believe that is just her way of sweeping aside her first-day jitters. But again, this is only chapter 5...
-H
PS Your crisp dialogue style is very easy on the eyes.
Edited by 6th.Element - 13 years ago
