Live-in Relationships; Staying Together - Page 9

Originally posted by: salma434

WOW totally agree 👏

Thank you Salma!

Great awareness topic 👏

Originally posted by: bDgT

You make some valid points Opti. True Geet had still retained her traditional values and yes to an extent it would not make sense if Maan followed the same route that Dev did though Maan would be doing it out of love and absolute commitment rather than for the sake of cheating her or taking advantage of her. So, it basically boils down to the circumstances in which such a scenario might occur.

If Maan really loved her, why should he shy away from marriage? The least the girl deserves is a grand wedding with both their families present. After all she was wronged by both the families -her family for trying to kill her so as to protect their false honour that too when they themselves are responsible for getting her married to an unknown guy without checking him out first - and his family because it was his brother and his sister-in-law who duped her and his bro who got her pregnant.

What better way than to rub their faces in dust than to get married in a grand style and show how successful this marriage is going to be, in spite of the 'inconvenient baby'?

Originally posted by: taral83

I have been brought up in a semi-orthodox atmosphere and have been really attached to all hindu customs and tradtions. I don't think that a live-in-relationship should be a desicion of the two only. As many of you have said it does have its positive sides but it also has its negative points. Nevertheless, I truly believe that a woman does have a lot more at stake then a man. She not only carries her own reputation she carries her parents reputation as well. Its easy to just say oh its so we understand each other better, learn about each other and so forth. But as someone said, what if the relationship doesn't work out. Then what?? Our society is the nicest, they will throw a million taunts at the parents and their raising. The same happens when a daughter come back home after being divorced or sent home from her in-laws. Therefore, if one chooses that path, I honestly believe it should be a mutial decision between both familys to allow the live-in-relationship.

Whether I would allow it or do it myself, the answer is no. If you truly and honestly love the person then there won't be a need to live-in. I knew my husband 10 years before we got married. We dated for 7 years prior to the marriage. We didn't live together but we were very close and open about our likes and dislikes. My mom didn't see my dad until their first night, and they are succesfully married. Both my sisters have had arranged marriages and knew the guy for no more then two weeks prior the marriage. They are also very happily married with kids. So it is not that we need to have live-in relationships to have succesful marriage or to bring down divorce rates or so forth. Frankly speaking the more modern thinking that india tries to impliment on traditional views, more problems are created, like abuse, divorce, cheating and so forth. And I am not saying we shouldn't have any modern thinking, thats y I said semi-orthodox, but somethings should be kept the way they have always been. Marriages don't need live-in relationships to be succesful, but needs good understanding, learn to agree to disagree, good communication, learn to comprimise, respect and last but not least love.

Well said. Maaneet have already shown that they have attained the qualities you have mentioned (highlighted above) without actually living-in in the true sense. So what should hold them back from marrying each other? Bad pasts need not always be the excuse to shy away from future marriage especially when the two people involved have found each other, love each other so deeply and will do anything to make the relationship work. If anything, their bitter pasts would have weathered them to face any storms. And what is wrong in also getting a social sanction for a couple's relationship? Why should marriage be treated as an archaic institution?

Another point I want to make here is that Maan has always been shown to place a lot of importance for her honour and whether we like it or not tongues do wag if a couple live together. We saw that in the episode telecast yesterday, how Geet living in Maan's outhouse is a cause for office gossip. While in earlier instances they had shown Maan brush such rumours aside, yesterday he was shown to be livid and proclaim that she was his fiance, even if their engagement is, as of now, still a fake. I don't see Maan jeopardizing her honour further by actually living in with her before marriage. Once he knows that she too loves him and is willing to accept him I think he will convert the engagement into a reality and go all the way and marry her.

Just hit upon this post.. Amazing post Bri, and brilliant views by everyone !! Special Mention to Polki, Savitan, Bri again, Rush and Yes, An .. 😊 👏

I am riveted, is putting it very mildly.

Have been very lucky myself in this regard, arranged marriage turned out perfect, but I totally agree that Marriage, specially in the Indian setup, has many flaws and loopholes. As someone said, not enough laws to help women out in abusive marriages, but more importantly, its the Societal pressure which is to blame.

So for all those who have shown the courage to either walk out of those relationships, or have shown courage to bypass it in the first stage, you have my complete respect and appreciation.

Talking about Geet, yes, firstly she is too young, and as Jo said, there is a lot more for her to do before getting married. Also, its not at all necessary, unless she herself wants to. Am not talking about Maan here, coz I dont even think its his decision to take, in the first place.

Yet again, Brilliant post Bri !! 👏

Edit-
@Taral83- Great POV too ! 😊

Originally posted by: bDgT

Agree it is no guarantee but there is lesser entanglement! And lesser legalese attached to it!

@ Nairprasu- But now Live-ins have been given the legal validity in India.. Landmark judgement, sometimes are our system does surprise us too !! 😊 So when we talk of taking legal recourse in case of abusive relationships, it stands here too.. hopefully no more abuse in Live-in relationships as well.

First of all before I begin, I want to thank @bDgT for raising this wonderful topic. I also would like to thank @Poli.Geek for sharing your views & about Girl Power. A big thanks to @savitan and @bDgT for sharing in this public forum openly about ur life.

I am summoning up all my courage & guts it takes to share a piece of my life to all of you out there. Geet is a serial that is very much coincidental to my life (minus the fake marriage part, rest all relates to the situation that I am going through – all the turmoil that Geet encounters). Some great men have said that we need to dream without any boundaries... dream the impossible. I too dreamed but the very important turning point in my life shattered all my dreams. Shattered all my hopes, my faith, everything. Smashed to smithereens. The turning point - my marriage. My marriage to the man I loved truly with no boundaries; to the man who turned my lovely world upside down. Yes , its true, I had a very lovely world before I met him . I was in love with myself. I could make choices and was never a victim of my choices. I was a champion. Then what happened to me ????? A question for which I have no answer. How can a champion become a victim of circumstances? No answer. Like all other Indian girls, I too had dreamed of marrying a Prince Charming and live happily ever after. I met "the then prince charming" and immediately informed my parents about it (my Indian values and belief didn't allow me to hide this from my family). They inquired about his family & approved of this marriage as everything seemed to match perfectly. Before a month could pass after the marriage, the reality started revealing slowly. I was mentally tortured by him and his family. It took me 6 months to understand that I am being emotionally abused in all possible ways so that they can get the benefit out of me. Their ultimate aim was to make me a puppet and dance to their rules. I didn't know who I was anymore .Slowly I became a walking dead soul – that gave me a miscarriage and another critical hospitalization (don't mistake it for a suicide attempt. I never could think of killing myself. That is the way I am brought up by my parents).However in all the situations, there was always a timely intervention from my family which brought back life into me. Their love has given me back the courage and hope that I had lost. Love of a family does wonders in a lost soul. It's been some months now since I separated from this abusive relationship and going through the legal process.

The past few months of watching Geet, has helped me a lot to regain control over my emotions & the past. The dialogue from Geet that first comes to my mind is the one where Maan tells Geet, that crying in helpless situations will make your mind to stop thinking (in the episode where Dev commits adultery (felt that's the right word, as any other word might not be good for the eyes of young people who read this forum) . How true those words are. Indian women like me, cry a lot. This has to stop & the correct measures has to be taken to fight for our rights.

And about live in relationships, I don't have a personal view about it now as I have lost faith in all man-woman relationships (be it married or live in). Anything can happen. Many have views that Geet does not have to marry Maan in the future and continue her life as she is only 18. In one way, that is true. But in my personal view, I want Geet to marry Maan. After all that she went through, she deserves a man like Maan who is strong and caring. I am sure, the cv's of this show is going to portray a true love story in the end. This is a test of true love. In real life, how many of the men would love (whole-heartedly) a woman who went thru a divorce or thru a situation similar to Geet ???? Readers think .

Note to the moderators & the readers – Apologies for the post being so long , I didn't knw how to shorten it. I want all to knw that there are woman like me who went thru injustice and abuse. And sometimes these shows strengthens us.

Originally posted by: maaneet2010

First of all before I begin, I want to thank @bDgT for raising this wonderful topic. I also would like to thank @Poli.Geek for sharing your views & about Girl Power. A big thanks to @savitan and @bDgT for sharing in this public forum openly about ur life.

I am summoning up all my courage & guts it takes to share a piece of my life to all of you out there. Geet is a serial that is very much coincidental to my life (minus the fake marriage part, rest all relates to the situation that I am going through ' all the turmoil that Geet encounters). Some great men have said that we need to dream without any boundaries... dream the impossible. I too dreamed but the very important turning point in my life shattered all my dreams. Shattered all my hopes, my faith, everything. Smashed to smithereens. The turning point - my marriage. My marriage to the man I loved truly with no boundaries; to the man who turned my lovely world upside down. Yes , its true, I had a very lovely world before I met him . I was in love with myself. I could make choices and was never a victim of my choices. I was a champion. Then what happened to me ????? A question for which I have no answer. How can a champion become a victim of circumstances? No answer. Like all other Indian girls, I too had dreamed of marrying a Prince Charming and live happily ever after. I met "the then prince charming" and immediately informed my parents about it (my Indian values and belief didn't allow me to hide this from my family). They inquired about his family & approved of this marriage as everything seemed to match perfectly. Before a month could pass after the marriage, the reality started revealing slowly. I was mentally tortured by him and his family. It took me 6 months to understand that I am being emotionally abused in all possible ways so that they can get the benefit out of me. Their ultimate aim was to make me a puppet and dance to their rules. I didn't know who I was anymore .Slowly I became a walking dead soul ' that gave me a miscarriage and another critical hospitalization (don't mistake it for a suicide attempt. I never could think of killing myself. That is the way I am brought up by my parents).However in all the situations, there was always a timely intervention from my family which brought back life into me. Their love has given me back the courage and hope that I had lost. Love of a family does wonders in a lost soul. It's been some months now since I separated from this abusive relationship and going through the legal process.

The past few months of watching Geet, has helped me a lot to regain control over my emotions & the past. The dialogue from Geet that first comes to my mind is the one where Maan tells Geet, that crying in helpless situations will make your mind to stop thinking (in the episode where Dev commits adultery (felt that's the right word, as any other word might not be good for the eyes of young people who read this forum) . How true those words are. Indian women like me, cry a lot. This has to stop & the correct measures has to be taken to fight for our rights.

And about live in relationships, I don't have a personal view about it now as I have lost faith in all man-woman relationships (be it married or live in). Anything can happen. Many have views that Geet does not have to marry Maan in the future and continue her life as she is only 18. In one way, that is true. But in my personal view, I want Geet to marry Maan. After all that she went through, she deserves a man like Maan who is strong and caring. I am sure, the cv's of this show is going to portray a true love story in the end. This is a test of true love. In real life, how many of the men would love (whole-heartedly) a woman who went thru a divorce or thru a situation similar to Geet ???? Readers think .

Note to the moderators & the readers ' Apologies for the post being so long , I didn't knw how to shorten it. I want all to knw that there are woman like me who went thru injustice and abuse. And sometimes these shows strengthens us.

I'm really sorry to hear about your experiences. Hope you regain your faith in relationships and find someone loving and caring. Life has the most unexpected surprises so don't close your mind and heart out completely.

I too love those words of Maan. Tears make the brain stop functioning. Although they sounded quite harsh then, it was much needed impetus for Geet to move on. But tears are also a way to let out one's emotions and sometimes that is needed. Bottling up all the emotions is also not good. They have beautifully shown that the very same Maan who was critical of Geet's tears before now could not bear to see them and is ever ready to wipe them off. That's what love does to someone I guess.

As to the view that Geet is too young to be married, I feel that marriage need not constrain one's individuality. If anything with a person like Maan by the side I would expect Geet to fulfil all her dreams. Maan has progressive thinking and feels women need to be strong and independent. So why shouldn't Geet marry such a man? How is being in a live-in relationship with him better than being his wife? Would it not be better for her kid to have a socially recognised father?

great discussion topic 😃
i personally do not believe in live-in relationship with someone before marriage because sometimes your pushed to do things you may regret later, or weren't ready for and the problem with that is that theirs no commitment in the relationship yet... so you may end up on your own later. But, you can definitely meet up for lunch/dinner or watch a movie together to get to know each other better 😃

very nice topic, i enjoyed reading alot of the responses