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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1261

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1262

A man sits in a bar, reading a newspaper. Suddenly he is tapped on his shoulder by another man: "Excuse me sir, but do you know Mrs. Appleblossom?"

The man folds up his newspaper, coughs slightly and replies: "just a moment sir", after which he takes out a little black notebook. "A, A, A... [finding the name in the book] yes, actually I do know Mrs. Appleblossom.".

He puts the notebook back into his inside pocket picks up the newspaper and continues reading. The other man taps his shoulder again: "Excuse me sir, but have you been to bed with Mrs. Appleblossom?"

The first gent puts the newspaper down again, finds his notebook and checks: "B, B, B... ahh, yes, I have been to bed with Mrs. Appleblossom"

He starts putting the notebook away when he once again is tapped on the shoulder: "Excuse me sir, but I am Mr. Appleblossom, and I am very disappointed"

"D, D, D... ahh... yes sir, so was I!"

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1263

Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and smack the idiot in the head.

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1264

There was a boy who had to use an outhouse and he hated it sooo bad. One day it started to rain really hard and it got the bank all slippery and wet so he decided to push it off. He did it and later that night his father asked him if he pushed off the outhouse.

He said: "Yes."

His father told his son to come with him to get his whipping.

The boy said: "George Washington didn't get in trouble when he chopped down the cherry tree because he was honest."

The boys father said: "but George Washingtons father wasn't in the cherry tree when he chopped it down."

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

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jasunap

@jasunap

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1265

very funny vani, giri netra 😆 😆 😆

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suram

@suram

Voyager

Posted: 17 years ago

#1266

Vani Giri Netra... 😆

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girivanam

@girivanam

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1267

Good ones Neths😆

The Popular Mule

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "Yes" and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No" and mumble a reply. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, ''The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

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girivanam

@girivanam

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1268

A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house,
was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his
wife, lost his children and lost his job.
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.
He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing,
'You are the reason I don't have a wife',
second bottle, 'You are the reason I don't have my children',
third bottle 'You are the reason I lost my job'.

He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He
takes the bottle, puts it aside and says,

'Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved'