I am trying to recreate my earlier comment…don't know if I will have the patience…
Ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga
Jaisi khilta ghulab, jaise shayar ka khwab
Anu, you know how in the knukkad we keep saying how spooky and psychic we guyz are the way we think of the same things …well, if u go back to the last few threads u will find that almost every second day, I have been writing how beautiful anjie looks with each passing day, how natural and refreshing is her beauty and how dazzling and guileless her smile…and I have been constantly thinking of this very same song for her…during saps' wedding, or when she tells her dad that he is an anaari or when she is laughing at atul….and it has been in my head for the last month or so…since the wedding.
Anu, you know the reason for the delay in commenting. After reading your update, I was pretty much stopped in my tracks and rendered speechless, and for me that's really saying something, and u managed to do all that and more. You touched something very deep inside, and I am just about resurfacing from that. AA1 have been very very dear to me, and what you have done for them here is such a gift to me, and to all of us, that SNT has become my only source of solace since dmg is sooooooooo not doing this anymore. The way you bring out anjie's heart-wrenching loneliness, atul's insight and sensitivity and shash's despair at his inability to reach out to his daughter is just such a reading and thinking experience. Atul's insight, the way he deciphers anjie's expressions and reactions, the way he understands with blinding clarity the upshot of the whole situation and where anjie is coming from and his sensitivity in the way he approaches her…the way he sees so quickly what it is that has been clouding her pretty head. "clarity of love' indeed. He doesn't judge, he doesn't dissect , demean, condemn or even embarrass….he just reaches out, and loves….he sees the loneliness, the vulnerability behind the haughty, icy demeanour, the aggression and the competitiveness and recognizes it for the attempt to hide her sense of loss that it is.
Tum itna jo muskura rahe ho
Kya gham hai jisko chhupa rahe ho
Ban jaayenge zahar peete peete
Yeh ashq jo peeye ja rahe ho
Kya gham hai jisko chhupa rahe ho
THE DREAM, THE DREAM!!!! The way you begin, the way you etch out the dream , the wy you spin the web….i couldn't believe it, coz it was sooooooooo like being in the dream along with anjie herself. Dreams are exactly like that aren't they, slightly disconnected, slightly hazy, so real and yet just out of reach….and the way it repeats itself, but the most awesome part , the way it always breaks at the same point….The voice that breaks into her dream every time, just as the voice must have pierced through her consciousness and broken the cycle of despair and hurt atleast for the moment. The voice that breaks the nightmare. The voice that will perhaps finally take her out of the quagmire of disappointment and grief that she has been stuck in and hopefully the owner of the voice will finally be able to break through to her through her ice walls and bring an end to her isolation and set her free from her own personal hell. The man and the voice which will finally break the vicious circle and break in the spring.
You remember in the last update, I had commented that even without describing the conversation , you have brought out its impact on anjie's mind. And now you have contd, by bringing it out in a nightmare, where the impact is so much a greater. What a fantastic narrative device to use. You are not only a master artist, but your craft is also par excellence.
You have brought out the frustration , the desperation for attention so well, the old anjie determined to win the IOTM race and win her father's appreciation. So poignant, so heart-breakingly sad. The way Atul feels her pain, the way he feels protective and concerned about her, the way he sees behind the veil and the way anjie sees all this in atul…the way he says sorry, and anjie knows that he means much more… 'something shifted in her eyes' you write. Could there be a better way of putting it?? The subtlety, the understatement , the vulnerability and the restraint, along with the hurt…you have brought it all out. Without seeing it , without any words being spoken, I can picture Atul's great urge to delve into her heart through her walls, and wipe out the pain from her heart and from her eyes…I do wish he takes her in his arms sometime in the serial , but soooooooo not happening.
Anu, Oh thank you , oh thank you for putting my Armaan in in his old avatar...he was soooooo adorable then. And I sooooooooo miss Saps…I am so happy you put her in and that too with ARmaan. I used to love their relationship. There was so much affection and bonhomie, A would pull her cheeks, hug her, twirl her around and generally be very affectionate to her and Saps in turn would always support him and keep her faith in him. Thanks sooo much. And you know how much I love AA2. My man and his champ, my atulster.
Soooooooo much has been said by others about the puppy scene that perhaps I should refrain from doing so, but I cant resist a few lines. What a scene you have written , coz a scene it is, the way I see it so clearly in my mind's eye after reading it. You obv love pups, and it comes out through anjie…and you have used them so beautifully. The wonderful way in which Atul sees her stealing away, the need for her to hide any show of affection at all, the vulnerability , the beauty , the innocence but above all the poignancy and heart-breaking sadness of the scene. The need to steal some moments of love, affection and happiness. I can just imagine anjie's laugh, so natural , so free….and only my atulster can have the sensitivity and the insight not to disturb her and to leave without showing himself. Oh, the way he resolves to keep her happy, I know only he can do it …
Na hai yeh paana na khona hi hai
Tera na hona jaane kyon hona hi hai
Tumse hi din hota hai, surmai shaam aati hai
Har ghadi saans aati hai zindagi kehlaati hai tumse hi…
Aankhon mein aankehn teri baahon mein baahon mein teri
Mera na mujhmein kuchh raha huwa kya
Baton mein batein teri, raatein saugatein teri
Kyon tera yeh sab ho gaya huwa kya
main kahin bhi jaata hoon, tumse hi mil jaata hoon tumse hi
shor mein khamoshi hai,thodi si behoshi hai tumse hi
chhodey na chootey kabhi todey na tootey kabhi
jo dhaaga tumse jud gaya vafaa ka
Anu, the way you write, and I don't say this flippantly, you ought to seriously take up writing more seriously. I know life is busy, but this is a part of you that must, must, abso must not be ignored. Write and publish!!! I will not start off about your writing here, or else I will take over your thread…luv ya and thanks for this..
Sorry for this massive comment…
Udne Ki Aasha
Anupamaa
Cricket
43