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CHAPTER 4 Raghav slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the bright light above him. His mind disoriented as he tried to figure out were he was. He’s not in his bedroom. Then he realised….he was in the hospital yet again. He looked around, sure enough he was hooked up on an IV. However he didn’t panic. He have been through this numerous times during the past 2 years. The door opened and in came his mother, followed by Kerthi, Farhad and Harish, all with worried looks on their faces. His mother sat next to him on the bed, and took his free hand in hers. “How are you Raghav?” she asked in a low voice. He can tell she was crying, they all looked that way. “Amma why are you stressing yourself unnecessarily. You know this happens to me from time to time. I’m habituated to this situation now. In a day or two, I’ll be fine to get back to my normal routine. Then everything will be as it was before.” His mother didn’t reply right away. It looked like she was debating her response. Kerthi came and placed a hand unto their mother’s shoulder. This gave strength to his mother, for she stared him directly in his eyes, her softness from awhile ago replaced with something much like anger or rage. “You’re right, I’m worrying myself unnecessarily Raghav. I mean, if you die I have Kerthi right. I also have Farhad and Harish, who needs you anyway. This weak version of you, Hyderabad Ex-Don, your competitors would rejoice seeing it. Everything you've built would be taken by them. This weak guilt laden Raghav Rao, what can he do to protect his family, his business! Nothing, he can do nothing! Keep sinking Raghav, refuse to accept help, I no longer give a damn!” she shouted, with angry tears making there way down her face. Raghav moved to touch her, but she pushed his hand away. “Don’t dare touch me Raghav, do you know how long you have unconscious this time. What day is it Raghav?” Raghav looked at her confused. He tried to remember what he was doing, before it happened. Oh yes, he thought. He had a meeting this morning at an Orphange recently opened. “It’s Tuesday Amma, I had a meeting this morning before I passed out” he answered. His mother looked at him, the sadness back into her eyes. “Today is Friday Raghav, you have been unconscious for 3 days. At the beginning you refused help, what now Raghav? Should we all just sit back, and watch you fade away?” he couldn’t believe his mother’s words. He have been unconscious for 72 hours. Kerthi may have seen the confusion on his face, because she passed his phone to him. He looked at the screen picture, which caused an ache to his heart. He unlocked the phone only to verify that yes, it was indeed Friday. His mother walked out without saying another word, with Kerthi running after her. Farhad came next to him. “Anna, aunty and Kerthi were very worried. Aunty would barely eat, which isn’t good for her health at this age. They haven’t left the hospital, no matter how much we tried to get them to go home. You cannot ignore that this time your situation was different. Please, for their sake, agree to get some help. This guilt is killing you slowly, as well as your love ones.” Raghav looked at Farhad. “How do I move on Farhad? Without knowing where she is, if she’s ok. These questions haunt me day and night. She had no one and nowhere to go. I took everything away from her. I destroyed her life Farhad, and you all want me to move on and forget my guilt. What about her damn it!” he said angrily. “I’m not saying to forget her Anna, we will find Pallavi. I’m saying remember the people whom you got yourself in this situation for. Remember your family whom you have been yearning for all these years. Your Amma, your sister. They are hurting watching you like this. We need you to be strong for when we do find her. You are the only one who would be able to bring her back and reunite her with her family. We’ll leave to your thoughts. I’m going to Amma & Kerthi.” With one last look at Raghav, Harish and Farhad left the room. Raghav picked up his phone and looked at the screen picture. He had gotten this picture from Nikhil’s YouTube channel. It was from Mansi's mehndi function. She was smiling at the camera, a genuine smile which reached her eyes. Why did he never noticed how beautiful she looked that night. Maybe subconsciously he did, but the Raghav Rao arrogance didn’t let him see. All those times they argued flashed before him. Only now when he reminisce he can see the fire in her eyes. He once told her he’ll destroy her and make her leave town. True to his words he did. That look in her eyes the last time he saw her, deserve to haunt him forever. Every time something reminds him of that broken desolate look she had that night, it would send him into a panic attack. At first he was able to compose himself within a few minutes. But as time went by, it had gotten worse. The latest being 3 days of unconsciousness. When he was leaving the orphange on Tuesday, he saw a young woman begging on the street. While giving her money he asked her why she was begging at this young age. She told him her husband passed away, and her in laws threw her out saying she was a bad omen. Her own parents refuse to take her in. This was her only means of survival she told him. Straight away his mind went to Pallavi, was she in a position as this young woman? Does she have to beg in order to eat? Where do she sleep? His mind was flooded with questions until he could take in anymore and the attack started. That’s the last thing he remembered. There was a knock on the door and he turned to see Vijay and Sharda Deshmuk. Sharda came and sat on his bed next to him, while Vijay stood at the foot. As usual when he and Vijay met, the old man would always keep a bit of distance between them. “Jayaji called us when you woke up. You had us all worried sick this time Raghav. We’ve been praying and fasting for you for the last 3 days. Everyone have" she said and on the last sentence looked at her husband. Vijay as usual kept quiet. The tears he was trying to hold back since he looked at picture on his phone of her, began to trickle down his face. Sharda took her pallu and wiped the tears away. He held her hand to his cheeks “Please tell me you believe she’s ok. She has to be right? She’s not in some unfortunate situation that would require her to degrade herself to survive right? She’s still her strong self. She’s just angry with us and will be back soon right? Please Aayi tell me she’s ok" Raghav cried while gripping her hand to his cheeks. Sharda used her free hand embrace him while he cried. Her own tears were running down her face. It was Vijay who brought the both of them out of this painful moment. “Of course my daughter is ok. I will have no one think or say otherwise. We’re all alive, which means she is also. So I will suggest that you two stop this. And you Raghav, I will not have you upsetting these women in my life so often. Pallavi would not like that, and I’ll make sure to let her know how many times you have stressed them. Now Sharda has brought food for everyone. Please have some, while I go to Jayaji and Kerthi for them to have also. And you Sharda, make sure he eats all.” He walked away after saying this leaving Sharda to follow his order. Raghav ate all that Sharda brought. His mother and Kerthi came back and stayed with him for the rest of the day . The doctor had came by and gave them a psychiatrist number, which he said would be able to help with his panic attack. Raghav didn’t think so, but for the sake of everyone he agreed for a visit. As always before he fell asleep, Raghav prayed for Pallavi’s safety wherever she is. He drifted off to sleep staring and her smiling face on his phone screen.
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