Chandan Ka Palna II - Page 101

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

RG

When they take their SAT ACT in March of 11th grade year/Junior year is when they need to seriously start making a list

Make three lists

Safety

Matches

Reaches

They are what the name says, if he is a Natl Merit Finalist or Semi Finalist there are many colleges that offer full rides for those kids

In state universities are the cheapest usually

Followed by Out of state

Ivies dont offer any scholarships except need based

If your kid is a Biology Olympiad Math Olympiad winner etc then they will be grabbed up.

The problem is Desis that live in New Jersey, NY, CA, Texas and Georgia and Florida are in a tough spot. They are all in the top 1% of their class they all have perfect SATs and ACTs and then they have to compete with Asian kids

Move to North Dakota or Idaho or Wymoning

No... seriously

Your geographical location helps. There are 3 million? Desis in CA, and 10M? Asians. Montana has 1000, Idaho has 2000

Top colleges dont want to fill their class with Asian or Indian kids from CA or NY

They already know such kids are doing 20 extra curriculars

Another tip: Ask your child to pursue any unique hobbies like bee keeping, kayaking, snow boarding etc. Desi kids only play tennis and piano

I am told top colleges hate it. Unless the kid has won Junior Wimbledon or played at Carnegie Hall, they just dont care.

Pppaaa, thalai suthuthu Nisha!
My teen is not doing any of the above you mention. He is above average smart kid but not ultra smart! Definitely no unique hobby or extra curricular. I am ok if he gets into state college, 4 more years he will be near me.

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

Yes Jas, look for UNIQUE thats the word. My husband's bestie lives in Bridgewater his daughter is your stereotype, he drove her to Columbia Univ EVERY Saturday, 80 miles? 100 miles? one way...

so she could take some posh micro biology class that you can only test into

Every freaking Saturday of her Junior year, stayed there 4 hours and drove her back home.

200 miles back and forth.

10th grade and 11th grade summer she did some med research at UT Austin? or Rice University medical school lab as part of her summer project. the mother moved there with paati to cook for that brat

They cooked up, spun, crafted weaved and arranged every chess piece (only child) since the day she was born

Her Bridgewater HS had 1100 kids in the graduating class and she was in the top 10, 90% were desis he said

She got into UChicago, Stanford, Penn etc

She didnt get into the integrated Med School at Rice Case Yale?

But she got into integrated med at NW, She goes there now

She did 25 other things too to get noticed

Looks like parents have to be driven to push the kids too 😆 .

RG

Originally posted by: jaschick

What happened here 😲 pppaaa

I'm reminded about the muthiyor kalvi' in munthaanai mudichu.

😆

Enjoy makkalae !

Ha ha. Who is mudiyor here? I don't see anyone around us!!!

Doesn't matter in state , out state, Ivy League ... no one knows what's destiny got in store for ourselves and children but if we can teach them to loosen up and encourage them to not stop enjoying life and most important be secure about themselves in their major or minor pursuits in life and they have it in them to be grounded whichever place they go , whatever they do and be respectful and good to people, that would be immensely satisfying. Its a difficult art to remain stable in the flow of experiences .

I personally feel the greatest gift any parent can practice and teach is to be secure... it's tough not to be insecure in life because of its curveballs but if we can practice it ourselves , they will be okay observing it is my hope .

Every goof up I have made or make as an individual, I tell myself to unlearn a few stuff and learn a few stuff from it.
When we are ourselves work in progress , what do we tell to our children except make your own mistakes unlearn , learn ???

So true Kalpana

Nisha, I'm also trying so hard to live my life you know mind you only since last one year or so. It's so hard to let go and not attach ourselves to what our children do. I scold and curse myself thinking It's plague actually my general mindset. Our parents did that for us and so I wanted to be a helicopter parent as well. Then comes the day, no we don't need to be but actually by then it's already late. That's why this confusion of how detached should we allow ourselves to be .

The jokes I find myself cracking in your pages is a revelation about myself... deliberate to loosten up.
😊 . My family notices me if I'm smiling to myself... they comment ok she's with her IF. 😆

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

So true Kalpana

In fact I was watching this video this morning at 6 and realized I need to make major changes to my own life.

https://www.deepakchopra.com/video/article/1282

Three days ago my meltdown was all about insecurity. There is a hierarchy at work and I felt humiliated that I wasnt chosen to be elevated.

I am going to follow how to get rid of anger and follow it atleast once

Desis are particularly in a tough spot in big cities the competition is brutal, there are constant messages about how everyone's kids are doing 100 things

AND

With the way things are only a good education will ensure atleast a moderately good standard of living. Starter homes selling for $300k, having self worth alone is not going to help a kid get mortgage

Yes, boats, private jets and C suite jobs can be let go

I did not want to say much three days ago Nisha ... it was obvious you were hurt but I have told you before as well you have something unique you can immerse yourself to self heal.

When you wrote that action figures slept on bed without a care to save the world, I thought to myself she doesn't need anything more... the ability to find joy that's reflected in your writing , not many can.

Kalpana

Originally posted by: Errantnomad

I did not want to say much three days ago Nisha ... it was obvious you were hurt but I have told you before as well you have something unique you can immerse yourself to self heal.

When you wrote that action figures slept on bed without a care to save the world, I thought to myself she doesn't need anything more... the ability to find joy that's reflected in your writing , not many can.

My thoughts too!! 👏