Originally posted by: Mangothyme
The question that comes up again and again in this serial. What is a good mother ?
Briefly read through posts. I strongly disagree that Anami has to be the one that needs to come running to Satrupa for redemption. No, for me it's Satrupa that needs redemption. Let's go right back to the beginning.
Anami was happy in Benaras. She was a much loved daughter. But she always has an emptiness on her birthday for 17 years. She feels guilty for that. She says her life was perfect but for that. Anami has a mother, Panditayen. A loving mother, a hands on mother, a sacrificial one who loves her unconditionally. She did not care Anami was adopted. she did not care she was not her own, she loved her because Anami exists. More importantly she loved Anami the same even after Ladoo was born. She did not sacrifice Anami for one minute, did make her feel different even after a child who Panditayen probably prayed years for was born. That is the definition of a good mother. Anami is loved by such a mother. She will not accept anything less. That is why Anami still wears the clothes stitched by Panditayen. The weird, unfashionable clothes when tempted by gorgeous, designer ones. Anami's life will be so much easier if she could just give in and accept all that the heir of LM is entitled to. She will get wealth, clothes, jewels, land. Who knows what ? One could even argue Anami can help the Pandits more if she accepts the hand on LM. But she does not. Why ? Stubbornness ? Pride ? No, it is love, love of parents who took her in when they had nothing, who got nothing from LM for raising her. Who raised her as their own with infinite love. Anami's zid is because her parents are the Pandits. To become the heir of LM would mean ceasing to be the child of the Pandits and Anami cannot do that. Avdoot has loving parents too. But he was willing to give up all that for being the LM heir. Pandits were willing to go to jail or leave their life in Benaras in order to be a family with Anami. That is love. That is a family. Ladoo's life would be sacrificed for Anami, but they never differentiated between their biological child and foster one. Families stick together, that's what they do. A child raised with so much love like Anami was will never accept anything less. I cannot connect a lot of times with Anami. Her zid, stupidity, impulsiveness. But I connect so much with the way she loves the Pandits and how they love her.
Satrupa does not love like that. I have enormous sympathy for Satrupa. She may have had a valid reason to give Anami up. She did not want to. She might have spent 17 years burning inside for her daughter too. But reality is she abandoned her. Even now it is all Anami, Anami, Anami. When she prepares the tray, it is what Anami likes. What about Ladoo ? Satrupa has had a bad life. People use her. Baldev does not care for her. She yearns for Anami's love. Anami is rude to her, does not let her in. But nothing excuses Satrupa putting Ladoo in danger for Anami's love. Nothing. I don't care how much Satrupa yearns for Anami. There is absolutely no excuse for what she did to Ladoo. All the material goods in the world does not excuse that. Satrupa does not know the meaning of what a mother is, Anami is right there. A good mother will not sacrifice someone else's child for her own child's love. That's what Sudha does. She sacrifices others for her selfish reasons. Motive and intent does not matter here. A good person does not sacrifice others for their selfish reasons and a good mother, never. One of the traits of a sociopath is even if they have a conscience it is weak. Satrupa's conscience failed her then. Her sociopathic tendencies took over, the LM Bahu took over. A mother would never put another child in danger for her own selfish reasons.
Personal tragedies in our own lives do not ever excuse bad behavior on our part. I cannot excuse such behavior in RL or in fictional stories. The redemption Satrupa needs to do is towards the Pandits. For having ingratitude towards them, for threatening them, for never once saying thank you, for taking both their children from them. The day she is grateful towards the Pandits is the day she will stop harming Ladoo in any way. Then she will Anami's love. Until then Satrupa does not deserve to be called Mom by Anami even if her life is one big tragedy.
Anami has lots of growing up to do. I do not excuse what she did. But in this she is right to me.
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