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Sujal-Kashish Iss Pyar Ko Kya Naam Doon?
(Kashish's revolt tune begins in the background)
'Bus kuch pal aur Sujal, fir tumhe tumhare kiye ki saza mil jayegi. Mere... mere Piyush ki aatma ko shanti mil jayegi. Mera maksat aaj pura ho jayega. Wo jo tumne mere Piyush ke saath kiya wo..., wo sub kuch ab tumhare saath hoga! To kya hua... to kya hua agar tumhe saza dilane ke liye mujhey apni jaan dau par lagani parh rahi hai!'
(Kashish's love tune begins)
'Iss duniya se jakar bhi, main apni duniya ke paas hi jaungi. Iss zindagi ko chor kar, apni... apni zindagi... apne Piyush ke paas jaungi! Waise bhi unke bina, meri zindagi ka kya matlab hai... kuch bhi nahi... kuch bhi nahi!'
Kashish rubs off the lone drop of tear that slips down her right cheek, completely aware of Sujal's presence.
"Gadi ke breaks kyun nahi lag rhe?"
says Sujal nervously, trying to apply more force on the break, but fails in getting the desired result.
"Dammit!",
he curses.
"Ab kya hoga Sujal? Iss waqt humari jaan bhi ja sakti hai!",
says Kashish, without any feeling what so ever! All calm, as if she is all set to face whatever is written in their fate, in her fate!
Sujal looks towards her nervously whilst controlling the steering wheel.
"Tum itna darr kyun rahe ho Sujal?",
she asks, calmly, as if the increase in Sujal's anxiety; his nervousness with each passing moment is giving immense pleasure to Kashish; the feeling of satisfaction!
"Kashish main isliye darr rha hun, kyunki tumhari hifasat karna meri zimmedari hai!",
says Sujal whilst trying to control the car.
"Agar tumhe kuch ho gya to..."
"Kashish!",
Sujal's words jerk Kashish out of her daze!
"Haan!",
she says, almost instantly waking up from her trance.
"Kya soch rhi ho?",
he asks. Still in a state of shock, she shakes her head to a negative. Sujal focuses back on his driving but Kashish involuntarily starts thinking about the good times she spent with Sujal, post their marriage.
(Thodasa pyar hua hai slow guitar tune begins)
'Kya ho raha hai mujhey? Kyun main Sujal ki taraf...',
Kashish scolds herself!
'Nahi!',
she guards her heart from him, from all the feelings, blossoming in her heart for him! She shuts her eyes in order to throw away all the thoughts about him!
On the other hand, Sujal looks towards her, careful that she won't open her eyes to find him staring at her, that way!
'Kyun aisa hota hai ke jab tum sath hoti ho, to kisi aur baat ka khayal nahi rehta?',
thinks Sujal.
(Thodasa pyar hua hai tune begins)
'Kyun mujhey uski nazron mein sirf pyar dikh raha hai? Jo mujhey uski aur... kheench raha hai!'
thinks Kashish, opening her eyes, pissed off at her current state. The state which is not allowing her to hate Sujal completely! The state which is forcing her to reconsider her decision of hurting him! She doesn't realize when her eyes unwillingly reflect her buried love for him! But nothing goes unnoticed from Sujal's eyes, especially if it is about his Kashish!
Staring at her, Sujal thinks,
'Jo pyar tumhare liye meri ankhon mein hai, aaj mujhey wohi pyar apne liye tumhari ankhon mein dikh raha hai!'
and as he thinks about this, the fateful accident takes place! Something, Kashish was waiting for! Something, Sujal had no idea about!
~*~*~
After 2 days...
Kashish wakes up and her surrounding reminds her yet again how injured she is. It's been only two days and she is already craving for the warm feeling of her and Sujal's room, of their room!
She hasn't seen Sujal for two days, she should be happy about it but here she is dying to listen to his voice. The feeling she gets when he utters her name 'Kashish'! Why is she suddenly missing all that when this is exactly what she wanted, his absence? His absence from her life!
The rate of her heartbeat increases, as she gets anxious to know about Sujal; to see him. She gets confused as to why is she feeling that way, but she chooses to ponder at it later, right now she has much more important thing to do! She needs to meet Sujal, now! She feels the ache building up in her chest. She somehow knows what can relax her, who can relax her!
She doesn't realize when her eyes well up. And as she was about to get up, Sujal enters her room. His left leg bruised, his face bearing the marks of his injuries. Although the doctor advised him to stay at his bed and rest, but nothing could stop a determined Sujal from meeting his Kashish!
Sitting next to her, Sujal wipes off her tears. And Kashish stares him, creasing her brows, unable to bear his current state. She gets shocked on witnessing her own reaction to his touch. She didn't try to get away like always, out of hatred. It rather gave her a soothing feeling, it relaxed her. Not in a state to fight with her own feelings, she lets him do it his way, for the first time since they got married!
'Kyun mujhey inn ankhon mein, siwaye pyar ke kuch aur nahi nazar aa raha? Kyun main Sujal ki iss halat par khush nahi hun?'
thinks Kashish, staring at Sujal with sorrowful eyes.
'Isse dard hi to dena chahti thi main, fir kyun?'
Kashish fails to understand the reason behind her behavior. She fails to understand why is her heart aching, on seeing Sujal in that condition. They keep staring each other. Kashish desires to say something to him, but fails miserably! She doesn't understand what exactly she wants to tell him! Does she want to convey him her feelings, how happy she is on finding him in that state? Or may be how she had waited for so long to punish him? Or is it that she wants to thrash him for killing her lover, her husband, her Piyush!
At this particular moment when she must rejoice at her victory, her mind is clouded with the thoughts of Sujal. When her eyes should be twinkling with happiness, then why is her brows creased?
'Jaanta tha... jaanta tha ki kuch nahi hoga tumhe. Mera zinda rehna issi baat ka sabut hai. Kyunki tumhare bagair, meri zindagi bhi mera saath nahi deti. Khudko zinda paya to ehsaas ho gaya tha, ki kuch nahi hoga tumhe'
thinks Sujal, and a drop of tear escapes his eyes and falls on Kashish's hand.
Seeing his tear, Kashish's hand automatically reaches for his face to rub off the tear! Her heartbeat increases on seeing him crying for her; because of her! But is this not exactly how she wanted to see him, crying?
'Kyun mujhey Sujal ke chehre par dard nazar aa raha hai?'
But she refrains herself from wiping off his tears. She turns her hand into fist in order to control her ill mannered desires! Where on one hand her heart aches to sooth his pain, there on the other hand her brain stops her from taking any step towards him which might result in making the whole situation a total chaos. But why for the first time Kashish wants to make him believe that she is absolutely fine, he should not worry about her? Is this the same Kashish who was ready to risk her life just to make him feel; make him realize how it feels when your dear one leaves you?
Wiping off his tears, Sujal looks towards her and asks her,
"Kaisi ho tum?"
"Theek hun. Aur tum?",
as she asks him, she realizes how eager she was to ask this question to him, ever since she gained her consciousness. And the moments that passed between the time she asked the question to the time he answered her, felt like eternity! For that brief moment she didn't realize when she started gauging his reaction to her question, out of eagerness to get a sign of his well being! Is he in pain? Is he hurt? Is he trying to hide his pain from her, because she knows that's exactly what his nature is like? She knows him far too well! She knows he can stand all pains but can't see even a drop of tear in her eyes. This is the depth of this man who is immensely, madly in love with her! Is this not the same innocence of Sujal that she used, to hurt him? To give him his so called 'kiye ki saza'? Then why suddenly now is she defining his innocence in a different way?
Still with teary eyes, the selfless Sujal answers his lover's question, wiping off her tear,
"Apni zindagi ke samne hun!"
(Thodasa pyar hua hai, slow guitar tune begins)
Kashish, out of guilt and shame, lowers her eyes and focus on his thumb which is wiping off her much deserving tears!
'Kyun mujhey inn ankhon mein, siwaye pyar ke aur kuch nazar nahi aa raha?'
Kyun main Sujal ki iss halat par, khush nahi hun? Kyun? Ussey dard hi to dena chahti thi main',
thinks Kashish. The Kashish who doesn't take even minutes to get ready with a new plan to destroy Sujal, has gone numb today! She cannot reason why - forgetting all of his own injuries and pain is Sujal here to give her comfort even at his current state; when he himself needs proper medication and rest? Why each time when she hurts him by someway or the other, at the end of the day when she goes to her bed, she ends up having tears in her eyes. Thank heavens that Sujal and Kashish don't share the same bed or else she would have to answer his questioning eyes each night!
Her sorrowful eyes hurt Sujal to the core, but as always he shields his feelings perfectly from her.
~*~*~
After 3 days
In their bedroom
Kashish, still not recovered completely from her injuries wakes up and sets herself properly on the bed, so that now she is sitting, resting her back on the pillow placed behind her. Sujal who is better now but not completely recovered reaches her quickly to give her, her medicines. Seeing the care and the comfort he is trying to provide her swells her heart and makes her to drown deeper in the sea of her guilt. She tries to stop him from helping her in every little thing but he avoids her all tries and pleas anyways. Giving her her medicines, Sujal bends down to give her the glass of water. In the process, his injured back hurts, only if Kashish would have noticed the pain in his eyes; only if she would have heard his inaudible cry of pain, the pain that he is trying to hide from Kashish in all possible way.
"Dard ab bhi hai?",
he asks her out of concern. Kashish nods her head to a 'yes'!
"Apna khyal rakhna. Main kisi aur ko tumhare paas bhej deta hun!",
says Sujal.
Kashish looks towards him, her eyes almost pleading him to stay! As if more than anyone else's she needs his presence. She needs him to stay around her, not for help but for her own mental calmness. She lowers her eyes, confused, or does she want to stay away from him so that she can think clearly that why is her heart and mind in a constant battle? As Sujal leaves, Kashish sighs out of frustration.
After sometime
How hard she tries to rest but the thoughts of Sujal bound her to stay awake. Tired of trying to sleep and out frustration because of the thoughts she is getting of Sujal, she gets up from her bed, careful that she hasn't recovered completely.
Slowly she walks to her cupboard, unaware, why is she going there, it is just out of anxiety that she is feeling because of Sujal's absence! Holding the handles of the cupboard, her mind puzzled, she beats the cupboard out of anger and frustration,
"Kyun kiya tumne aisa Sujal? Kyun kiya?..."
"Kyun bachaya tumne mujhey?"
"Kyun bachaya tumne mujhey Sujal? Kyun? Kyun bachaya tumne mujhey?"
"Kyun main tumhari haalat par khush nahi hun? Kyun?",
she cries out of anger and frustration. She avoids accepting the truth that she is gradually falling for Sujal all over again! She hates the fact that her anger and hatred for him are melting gradually.
"Nahi parh sakti main kamzor!",
she scolds herself, raising her voice. As if the more she'll scold herself for blossoming those feelings for Sujal in her heart, the more she'll get strength to stay away from him.
"Mujhey tumhare zakhm bhulne honge Sujal. Bhulne honge tumhare zakhm",
she continues with scolding herself. With that she tries to erase the imprints of his wounds from her mind and heart, but is it possible? Is it that easy? Something she couldn't do since the last two years, forgetting him completely, can she do it now when he is with her, around her 24X7? If not practically but emotionally - be it hatred or something else everything reminds her of him, doesn't it? Is not Sujal, an integral part of Kashish's life? Can she deny that? Does she have the guts to deny it?
~*~*~
At the office
Sujal receives a message. He gets surprised to notice the name flashing on the screen - 'Swayam Shergil'! And as expected the name does succeed in creasing his brows, but he stays calm as always. Reading the message he discovers that he wants to meet him and wants to discuss something about a company that they both are trying to take over.
After sometime
Reaching the spot, Sujal finds Swayam waiting for him. Getting out of the car, he demands the reason from Swayam,
"Kyun bulaya hai mujhey yahan?"
They discuss about the company. Sujal agrees at some points while disagrees at others.
"Mujhey jo kehna tha maine keh dia. Faisla ab tumhara hai, sochlo kya karna hai",
says Swayam. Listening to his words, he turns and starts unlocking his car to go away, when Swayam asks him out of blue,
"How's Kashish? Maine sunna hai apka accident hua hai? How is she?"
Listening to Kashish's name through Swayam's voice isn't a pleasant surprise! The mere idea of using Swayam's and Kashish's name together even in a sentence irks him! The thought of Swayam daring to even think about Kashish, boils his blood! But Sujal is not someone who would shower his anger by beating someone to death! He wouldn't even scold Swayam, let alone beating! His calm and piercing words are enough to teach Swayam the lesson! To make him realize, he is trying to step into the restricted territory. Sujal turns back to face him. Crossing his arms over his chest, Sujal avoids eye contact with Swayam. No, not out of shyness or scare that Swayam might harm him somehow! But out of scare that what if he sees the rage in his eyes? How would Sujal control Swayam, if he gets too scared of Sujal?
Calming himself down, he gives Swayam a cold look and replies him,
"She is alright".
And how can Swayam lose any opportunity to make Sujal feel jealous of him? Going by his nature, he plays his cards and dares to say,
"Oh thank god. Main shaam ko ata hun apke ghar mein, Kashish se milne"
But Sujal is not someone to take all that nonsense, quietly. But maintaining his calm self, he warns him immediately, as if he could see it coming,
"Mat ana!"
It wasn't a request but a warning. Swayam could sense the jealousy brewing up inside Sujal, because of him mentioning about his wife. And he enjoys Sujal's jealousy to every bit. Swayam creases his brows a little, faking his surprise on getting such a reaction from Sujal. Sujal understands it all too well. Nevertheless, he continues with explaining Swayam,
"Aaj shaam ko 7:30 baje humara doctor ke saath appointment hai, isliye...",
Sujal shakes his head to a negative, staring Swayam throughout. Giving him a warning signal to stay away from his Kashish!
How can Swayam end this conversation, with Sujal having the last words? He pats Sujal on his upper arm, faking his affections for him and says,
"Aunga... aaj nahi, kal aunga! See you Sujal!",
smiling at Sujal for the last time, Swayam turns to get into his car. His last words, showing how nothing or no one can change the decision of a stubborn Swayam.
Mangal Lakshmi
Hindi TV Shows
Ishaani
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