OS/SS: And we did (Arhi) - Complete

January, 2015

My heart thudded loudly, as I waited outside the door. Trying to gather all the courage to face this moment, I shut my eyes tightly to steady myself, but instead all the memories came crushing back. Why does he do this to me? How can someone make you feel like this? Instead of focusing on my jumble of emotions, I reminded myself he is nothing to me, except that I greatly admire him nothing else. "Nothing else" I whispered to myself with firmness. Saying Bismillah, I turned the knob and opened the door. Stepping inside I saw Aunty Halima, smiling at her I stepped towards her and greeted her.

"Saalamu Alikum"

"Walaikum Aslaam ,habibti" she greeted me back and engulfed me in a warm hug.

As, she stepped back, I nervously looked around her cozy and interesting office ,and tried to concentrate on her huge collection of books around me, instead on the person sitting quietly in the room emitting intensity.

"Habibti, what took you so long? I hope you didn't get lost?" Aunty Halima, asked me worriedly. Pulling my eyes away from the books, I smiled at her in assurance "No, Aunty Alhamdulillah I was fine"

"Glad to know that. I think let's get started on what we are here for. This is Arnav, as I mentioned in the mail that you two will be working with me on this workshop. Arnav, this is Khushi."

The moment I dreaded the most came and I reluctantly turned to him. His dark eyes stared at me for a second, before standing up and greeting me with respect.

"Salamu Alaikum"

Giving him a nervous smile, I replied "Walikum Aslaam"

All this while I tried to act calm, while my heart thudded loudly. This is the first time, I know with surety that he is staring at me and I have his undivided attention. Never been that close to him before, made me notice other things about him. His height, I knew he was tall, but right now he looked extremely tall to my 5'6 feet. His long eyelashes Ya Allah does he has longer eyelashes then me' I thought a bit worriedly, but the scolding myself as why should it bother me,

His eyes looked even more intensive and intimidating up-close. And that look in his eyes, which I have noticed every time my eyes clashed with his, is there again. Suddenly my hijab felt too tight around me and I felt my face heat up. Not able to bear the burden of his gaze, I tear my eyes from his and glanced down at the floor instead.

"Let's sit down shall we?" Aunty Halima's voice broke the sudden trance of thoughts and emotion I was in.

"Aunty please excuse me for a minute, I just need to make a quick call", with that he left the room. Leaving the echo of his deep voice in the room, penetrating it into my heart.

Aunty Halima gave me a full thesis to read before starting our discussion. Being a huge bookworm I was able to finish the 10 pages thesis fast. Giving me an ample time to go down the memory lane.

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From 2008 till now

My eyes crashing with his in crowded train across tons of people, felt as if in time stood still...

Seeing him in the corridors of college, feeling his eyes on me...

Stopped right on my track, when I heard his voice for the first time...

My heart filling with joy whenever he would win an award. Slowly his achievements became my achievements...

My heart ached when I got to know about his responsibilities, he had the responsibility of his mother solely on his shoulder...

Seeing him working so hard in the library at every lunch time...

Whenever we had an interchange class with the seniors, my heart will filled with a of rush excitement when I would see him across the crowd. Secretly peeking at him...

Praying for him when he was giving his public exams...

Seeing him the last time before he left for university, wanting to stop him, but never could...

So Proud of him when he got a scholarship in Oxford and shifted there

Remembering him in all my prayers...

"Why do I feel this way for him?" I asked myself always.

When he came to college in my last year, to give a motivation lecture to the soon to be graduates. Digging my nails into my hand when he would directly look at me while speaking. A jumble of nerves is what I became.

When I saw him after two years in a conference and he was the speaker there. First, I was too stunned to believe and then later I went down that jumble of emotions again.

Seeing him a month ago in the local Iftar(Breaking-Fast feast in Ramadan) gathering. Seeing him first as I entered. Feeling his eyes on me all the while I hugged and greeted the aunties and my friends.

Feeling his eyes on me as he stood at the door and waited for his mom , as she bid goodbye to her friends. For a second I though he looked at me longingly, as I was secretly chanting to him that don't go.

Staring at his back as held his mother and escorted her out of the dinner hall. Wondering to myself achingly that now when will I get to see him again.

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I could have never imagined that it will be so fast. Now here I am sitting at Aunty Halima's office, and it took us nearly eight years to properly meet. As Aunty Halima talked on her phone, I wondered the same question over the eight years to myself. What is this between us? Why do I feel this for him? What is this?

I know I have tremendous admiration and respect for him, but then who doesn't. Literally everyone including my family admires him. Girls wanting to marry him, mothers wanting him to marry their daughter, fathers giving his example to their sons...the list is endless.

But why do I feel so much more?

And look at me, an ordinary university student. Nothing amazing about me.

Taking a deep sigh, I can't even think about something so impossible.

If I for a hopeful second even think that he will feel for me, my parents will never agree on it. Coming from a traditional conservative family, they will never let me marry a guy who is not from the same area, even if they greatly admire him. Even though Islam says otherwise. Sighing to myself .

"So you're done?" Aunty Halima's voice broke my thoughts. Giving her a smile, I said "Yes".

Just as I replied her, he entered the room. Making me suddenly rigid from the bundle of emotions I was going trough.

"Sorry it took me long" he said staring at me directly instead of Aunty and then came sat across the table from me. He is too close' I thought to myself as I fudged with the pen in my hand in nervousness.

Trying to block everything out, I focused on the discussion about the workshop we were having. We discussed and finally came up with a lesson plan for the workshop.

"I'm so glad, you two volunteered to help me out. May Allah reward you both. Let's have some refreshments before we discuss the schedule."

Though we both refused, she went out to get some refreshments. Leaving the both of us alone in her office. Suddenly, the tension in the room got denser. Ignoring his intense gaze on me, I pretended to read trough the notes I made. My acting went on for few minutes, not able to bear it anymore and pretending is not exactly my best forte. I looked up at him.

His eyes flashed in trump as if he was waiting for me to look up at him. I clenched the pen in my hand, as I saw a run of emotions trough his eyes.

"Till how long are we going to deny this?" he said it hoarsely, vein on his forehead throbbing, like he was struggling with his emotions.

I was left stunned at his question, but not shocked somehow ,that it was not only me. Everything in me has said for years that it's "us" not only me, but I kept denying it.

Feeling my heart swell with happiness, I felt my eyes tear up.

"This thing between us for all these years ...it's..." He voice got louder in frustration. He leaned back on his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

All this while I kept staring at him fascinated and stunned.

Opening his eyes, he pinned me with his eyes and leaned forward on the table.

"I can't take this path of waiting for you all these years, nor will I allow you to deny this between us. I know it's not only me who feels this ,isn't it Khushi? " he stated each word carefully, like he was making a child understand.

Weather it was him uttering my name for the first time or everything started really dawning on me, I lost control on my emotions, the tears I was holding for so long flowed my eyes.

Lowering my gaze, I softly said "It's not that easy."

He moved his hand forward, and held the other side of the pen I was clinching on, and pulled it towards him.

"Look at me." He demanded.

I brushed my tears away and looked up at him. He was staring at me with no guard or cover over his emotions. Everything around me slowly faded.

"Then we'll make it easier. I have waited for this moment far too long. We went through the test of time. Then we can go through convincing your parents as well. I will give my all to it. I just want you to have faith in me and more than anyone in Allah."

A week later

I marched back and forth outside the room in nervousness.

Ya Allah, what's going to happen?' I kept thinking in worry about what's happening inside Baba's study.

Hearing my sisters giggling at back at my predicament wasn't helping either.

Not having time to scold them now, I just ignored them and kept doing du'a that everything goes well, insha'Allah.

It felt like after ages the door knob turned, and Arnav came out from Baba's study.

I immediately marched towards him, forgetting about my normal shyness at front him and asked "What did Baba say?"

He kept looking straight ahead and had no expression on his face. My heat dropped at his silence.

After that meeting we had accidentally, neither did he contact me nor did I. Both of us kept our religious commitment, except this morning he messaged me to inform that he has talked to my brother and would be coming to see my father today.

Arnav turned and stared at me directly "Baba said that don't come here again" .

My eyes filled up hearing him say that.

Seeing my tears, Arnav quickly added "Hear me out first before wasting these precious tears Khushi. Baba said do not come here again until you bring your mother with you, so we can fix the rishta ,and final the Nikkah and walima date."

My heart filled up in gratitude and happiness. I left out a laugh while wiping my tears as I couldn't believe this is actually happening. I looked up at Arnav and saw what no one could see. Others would think him being inexpressive but I could see that his eyes said how happy he was.

I couldn't stare directly at him for long, as my heart thumbed loudly and felt my face heat up. I lowered my gaze.

Still not able to bear his piercing gaze anymore, I turned and started to walk away, but he stopped me.

"Khushi"

"Ji" I answered while still facing ahead.

" Alhamdulillah, we did it" he whispered but I heard it loud and clear,

I smiled at what he said and whispered "Alhamdulillah" and ran away from there.

-- The End---


So I know many won't be satisfied with the ending and wanting to continue the story. I know I can't hence sharing this writing pieces by this writer Khadija Rupa and just put it in Arnav and Khushi scenario.

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LOVE IS |

I used to believe Love is, Loving the perfect person;
and in this belief I didn't realize, how someday,
the world made me" an imperfect person;

Being a perfect person in my life you came,
to accept me, my every error and pain;
and to change my belief that even Love can be,
Loving an imperfect person!

...

She was weeping while saying, "I'm so imperfect for you..."

Touching her forehead with his nose, he closed his eyes.
After a few minutes all he replied, "Yes, Imperfectly Perfect"

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"You have completely turned my world around." He said raising his tear-swollen eyes to hers. She asked," don't you fear your world will become too small taking me as your whole world?" her voice quivered.

"Who said my world will become a small one?"

He held her perfumes body against his heart, " without you, extremely small, is my whole world!."

He whispered under his breath inhaling the scent of her deeply into his lungs.