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Shyamala

@shyamidutt

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#721

Originally posted by: canapoem

Bhavi, here I want to share a true story of my cousin's wife. My cousin was married for three years and almost six years ago he died in an accident. You can imagine the tragedy in our family. He was the only child of his parents and he was hardly married for three years and they did not even have a baby yet.

After maybe 2 years, my uncle and aunt, themselves started urging their daughter-in-law to get married again and they encouraged her parents to look for a match for her. Their logic was their lives was almost like dead now, but why should their bahu suffer. She should look for happiness again.

And she did get married to a good guy. Last I heard was she was pregnant too.

But today when I called up my parents back home, my mother told that the girl, she developed complications in her pregnancy and the baby died. I literally cried. I thought when will she find her happiness again completely.

Anyway my point was now a days atleast in educated families, things are changing. Be it widows or divorcees, girls are encouraged to get married again. And I really wish and pray that this trend spreads to all societies and cultures, afterall everyone deserves to be loved.

Some of these stories are so heart breaking. I have two people I know who were widowed at a very young age but their lives turned out so different. One is a dear friend and the other is my cousins wife.

My cousin passed away very suddenly, he was a couple of years younger than me passed away about 4 years ago ,leaving behind a 2 year old and the young wife. He wasn't even 40 at that time. Well my aunt is one of those conservative orthodox ( I hate the whole concept of orthodox) so my cousins wife lives in that joint family and I don't see any second chances for her. My sister was telling me the other day that the little boy was singing tere bina zindagi in a crying voice and when my sister questioned him he said that this is the song my mother sings to me at night and she always cries when she sings it and so that's how you have to sing it. My heart breaks for her and we can only pray that she also finds happiness. Poor thing has a long life ahead of her.

My friend on the other hand lost her husband suddenly when her daughter was barely a month old. She was devastated but she was here in NJ and eventually she fell in love again and married an American and they have a beautiful daughter who is an angel. She is such a sweetheart who spreads joy and happiness where ever she goes. Now my friend says maybe I was destined to have this angel in my life and that's why all these events happened in my life. I'm really happy for her at the same time very sad for my cousins wife.

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bhavis

@bhavis

Stunner

Posted: 10 years ago

#722

Originally posted by: canapoem

Bhavi, here I want to share a true story of my cousin's wife. My cousin was married for three years and almost six years ago he died in an accident. You can imagine the tragedy in our family. He was the only child of his parents and he was hardly married for three years and they did not even have a baby yet.

After maybe 2 years, my uncle and aunt, themselves started urging their daughter-in-law to get married again and they encouraged her parents to look for a match for her. Their logic was their lives was almost like dead now, but why should their bahu suffer. She should look for happiness again.

And she did get married to a good guy. Last I heard was she was pregnant too.

But today when I called up my parents back home, my mother told that the girl, she developed complications in her pregnancy and the baby died. I literally cried. I thought when will she find her happiness again completely.

Anyway my point was now a days atleast in educated families, things are changing. Be it widows or divorcees, girls are encouraged to get married again. And I really wish and pray that this trend spreads to all societies and cultures, afterall everyone deserves to be loved.

Its not about families that we are discussing, Its the person itself and her thinking. Oh thats real sad. What can i say some people just find their happiness after suffering a lot and these are the times when we really want to count our blessings.

I will have Mira tell her story but I have a feeling that Khushi will move fast when Manorama will back her up😃

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canapoem

@canapoem

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 10 years ago

#723

MB, after reading all the above comments, one truth kind of stands out. For a widow to remarry, her inlaws acceptance and encouragement plays a prominent role most of the times.

Which makes me wonder, what if Manorama encouraged Khushi to find happiness again, then would she be able to take that first step or atleast think of taking the first step towards Arnav.

I have always felt that she does hold back not that she fears what Manorama will think, but she respects her too much and by thinking about giving life a chance again, she fears that she might hurt her mother-in-law in some way.

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Minnie

@Illuminatus.

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#724

My Tears just wont stop reading all the comments and the real life stories narrated by all the readers. especially the last one written by Shyamidutt about her cousin's wife.

The kid singing that song in a crying voice just made me breakdown so bad. My prayers for that broken mom and the kid who has to watch his mom go through that painful life everyday...

That kid singing that song says a lot about what he is feeling for his mom too. He is imbibing his mother's sorrows. That song is just a tiny glimpse of what that tiny soul is feeling and the big wound that his mom is trying to hide but it comes out in the loneliness of the nights, infront of him.

Just thinking of her pain can make my heart constrict cant imagine what she is going through.

I Pray.

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bhavis

@bhavis

Stunner

Posted: 10 years ago

#725

Originally posted by: Mirabell
One of my favorite people in this world who writes some of the most evocative stories has written this one story about widows in Vrindravan. The part about Vrindavan and widows in my current update is inspired by my reading of this story..

Meera30 has written this story called Rang and it is on her blog, Wishes and Wanderlusts... Please read? :)

Meera! I am sharing this story here.. I hope you don't mind!

--MB

I have been to Vrindavan couple of times. Once during my last visit and when i saw their state I was very unsettled. Going from NorthAmerica its a total different world. The state they live in, regardless of age, caste and creed the only common thing between them is they are widow.

They are supposed to survive and the survival can be in the form from begging, to be in brothel. This was also shown in Water - Deepa Mehta's movie. Although the movie is based in Varanasi, Vrindavan is no different

The worst, the guide who was with us did not even have a sympathy for them. He was abusing them.

Edited by -Bhavi - 10 years ago

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maina95131

@maina95131

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#726

i know someone whose husband passed away. She has one daughter with him. She still lived with her in-laws after he passed away. They treated her like daughter and she treated them like parents. She did not want to get remarried even after encouragement from family and friends including the in- laws. Well she finally remarried and is very happy in her new life. She even has a one year old son now.

this person's story reminds me of the movie Baabul with Amitabh Bachan and Rani Mukherji.

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Shyamala

@shyamidutt

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#727

Originally posted by: _Mini_
My Tears just wont stop reading all the comments and the real life stories narrated by all the readers. especially the last one written by Shyamidutt about her cousin's wife.
The kid singing that song in a crying voice just made me breakdown so bad. My prayers for that broken mom and the kid who has to watch his mom go through that painful life everyday...
That kid singing that song says a lot about what he is feeling for his mom too. He is imbibing his mother's sorrows. That song is just a tiny glimpse of what that tiny soul is feeling and the big wound that his mom is trying to hide but it comes out in the loneliness of the nights, infront of him.
Just thinking of her pain can make my heart constrict cant imagine what she is going through.
I Pray.

Thank you for your kind words. I think cried more after I heard this than when my cousin actually passed away. Not only my sister but my brother and my other cousins support her a lot. I am here so far away but they are all there. But still I don't have hopes for her. Her parents are no more and my aunt is very loving but she is so seeped in her orthodox beliefs, most of which don't make sense to me. All I can do is also pray for them.

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guy3

@guy3

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#728

All the conversations are so beautiful

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canapoem

@canapoem

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 10 years ago

#729

The hindi movie "Dor", showed the conditions these widows live in remote parts of Rajasthan. But such inhuman practices are not just restricted to one state or territory, but it's spread all over India.

But if you see 100 - 200 years ago, Sati system was practised widely. Now our societies have abolished that murderous practise and we have made significant progress towards widow remarriage or even giving them respectable place in our societies.

We can surely hope that in the coming decades, justice and equality is given to all women including widows.

Edited by canapoem - 10 years ago

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Seeta

@LadyR

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#730

I know I have said it before - and I will say it again, had Khushi passed away. NK would have been encouraged to marry again... ' Jo ho Gaya so ho Gaya, Zindagi akele kaisa guzaaro gey" these words would have been spoken over and over ...

Manorama has experienced life without a partner .. Perhaps she would have liked someone to ask her to move forward too... But society norms did not allow, but then society was not there when she may have needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to share her burden with... Deep down I hope she will ask Khushi to move on...

The characters in your story are you and me.. Their sorrow, happiness and concerns are something we all have experienced or will experience ...

Lavanya and Maya are their fairy god mothers and I want them never to stop pushing these two towards a destination

I want Khushi to wake up one day with the notion that the best days of her life are yet to happen... And this does not mean her love for Naren diminishes... Because she loved NK while still in love with Arnav...

How many times in life do we wonder 'what if' ...

Edited by LadyR - 10 years ago