Chapter 4
It was midnight and I switched towards the other side of my bed. As a punishment of walking out of a session they had given me the lowest dose of my drug. Its like almost being without drugs and now i began to feel restless. Taking deep breaths in i tried to relax, stared at the ceiling, at the door, the walls and basically everything that could distract me from the urges.
Restless and impatient, I sat up on my bed and looked around my room, a small door maybe? or a window from where i could escape? My eyes began to hurt and so did every other inch of my body.
Drenched in sweat, my hair was getting stuck to my skin which was now annoying me even more. With lot of struggle finally I managed to get out from my bed and walk towards the door. I tried to turn the knob but unfortunately didn't have enough energy. I gulped as I put all the strength that I had but miserably failed.
Resting my forehead on the door I began to take deep breaths in. Through the glass on my door i could see my opposite room 124, The door was open and the lights were off but due to the faint lights of the corridors i did managed to see who's in there. I gulped as I tried to call out,
"Rey"
I bet my voice wasn't loud enough as he didn't move even an inch.
I tried to see if there was any other human being around but to my luck not a single soul was present. I gulped once again, even thou i was dripping wet in sweat but my body began to shiver as if i was stuffed inside a freezer.
I began to pat my door and at the same time tried real hard to turn the knob so that i could open it,
"Rey!!!" i yelled as i struggled.
Suddenly I looked around the room, for some strange reasons it felt as if the walls were getting closer and closer every passing moment. why are the walls moving? is this some kind of therapy? Will i get crushed in here? what the hell is going on?
I ignored and stared at the corridor but from the corner of my eyes saw the wall again move closer to me. My pulse rate was at its maximum and my hands began to tremble. I turned back and patted the door for attention!! I began to turn the knob clockwise and anticlockwise but nothing helped. I looked at Rey again, why isnt he moving??!! I licked my lips out of fear as i felt the walls were getting closer to me even more.
"Help" I cried out, "Some one please stop this!"
I turned and looked at the walls, my feet began to shiver and i wanted to pass out but nothing was happening. I glanced at the corridor to whatever extend i could see but there was still no one around.
I tried to hit the glass on my door to break open! But obviously i wasnt strong enough. As i struggled I felt the walls move even closer towards me. I was panicking as any other human being would do put in this situation.With my heart almost stuck in my throat I slowly moved towards the corner of my room and shut my eyes as i curled myself in the corner. Waiting to get smashed in the walls as It would happen any moment, maybe now...now...now...
"Nooo" i screamed as I felt something touch my skin. I was going to die, although wasn't prepared but it was happening.
"Taani" He called out as he shook me.
I was breathing heavily as i opened my eyes and glanced at my arms and then slowly at the figure that was kneeling infront of me. I felt a tear roll down as I clutched his arms to make sure he was really present. I sighed out of relief and with fear in my eyes glanced around the room. Everything was in its place, the walls hadn't really moved even an inch.
My lips began to tremble as I controlled myself from breaking down. What just happened to me?
"What happened to you?" he asked as he abruptly sat next to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulder.
I stared at the walls, still in shock that all that was happening was just mere hallucination. I licked my dried chapped lips and looked at him. He was confused, yet his eyes told me that he would believe whatever I tell him.
"Rey..The walls" I said pointing to them, he glanced at the walls and then at me again. I gulped as hard as I could and continued, "The walls were getting..closer and I was here and I saw you sleeping and I couldn't open the door and .." I stopped right there, " I know...I sound insane" .
"Its okay! Happens"
I stared at him as he left his legs straight on the floor and rested his head on the wall. He gulped and began to talk,
"I once felt as if the ceiling collapsed right on my face. Couldn't breathe for few minutes. Glad the doctors came on time or else..." he rubbed my arms and looked at me, "it sounds insane...it feels insane but trust me its all temporary"
I shut my eyes for few minutes and rested my head on his shoulder. I don't know why I did that, maybe i was tired, maybe I was scared, or maybe I needed comfort. This was my first night over here and crazy things were happening to me.
"How did you get inside my room? The door...I couldn't open it."
"Yeah I know, the doors are pretty crap! They get jammed at times. You need to push them hard."
I nodded my head which was still on his shoulders. I could smell him, he smelled like...bitter medicine! But that didn't matter because the way he had clutched my arms felt safe. I rubbed my cheeks on his shoulder as I began to whisper,
"I just need my drugs! Please..."
I heard him swallow, like he needed it too. I lifted my head and glanced at his face. For the first time it seemed weak, he had shut his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, like he was thinking of something painful. I glanced at his hand that was across my shoulder and then laid my head on his shoulder again.
Sitting in that corner of my room, I curled in his arms. Now my head was on his chest and my knees touched his thighs. I could see his shirt flutter as I was breathing from my mouth. I moved my hands on his chest and stopped right near his name which was embodied on his uniform just like mine and every other addict.
"Rey" I whispered.
"Yes Taani" he replied
I blinked several times as I stared at his name and moved my finger on each alphabet, feeling the threads, the sharpness of it.
"Rey" I whispered again
"Yes Taani" he replied back.
I shifted my feet on his thighs and hugged him. Now I was literally sitting on his lap and it seemed like he didn't mind at all. Letting a deep breath out and I called out again as I shut my eyes,
"Rey"
"Yes Taani" he replied back as he laid his chin on my head.
"Rey" I called out again, and again and again till the time I couldn't hear him reply to me anymore.
--------few hours later
Early morning 6 am I found myself jogging with the other bunch of addicts. They said Exercise releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well-being. The fresh air of the campus and the serenity will help us gather all our lost hopes to move ahead in life.
"How could I do this??" I whispered in my mind as I ran, "How could I find peace and comfort in someone elses arms?"
After jogging around for few minutes me and my body finally gave up. I stopped and held my knees. Staring at the grass under my feet I began to recall the moments I spent with him last night. I shut my eyes real hard trying to focus but couldn't. I stood up straight and stared at the crowd that were jogging. I tried to zoom in and find him, didn't know why but I wanted to see if he's there.
Although I woke up this morning on my bed but I knew I fell asleep in his arms. I wanted to see him after that. Although the feeling that I found comfort in someone elses arms apart from Victor was killing me, I still wanted to see him. I heard the whistle blow and noticed my instructor waving at me, I quickly tugged my hair behind my ears and began to jog again.
After running a few miles I finally spotted him tying his shoe lace in the middle of the road. For some reasons I stopped right there, he looked at me and stood up. I glanced at our fellow addicts who were quite ahead of us now. I was breathing heavily and so was he.
"How are you doing?" he asked as he struggled for breath.
I just nodded my head in a no and wiped the sweat on my forehead.
He glanced at the ground and me again, "if i can get rid of my addiction, so can you. Trust me"
I smirked and walked closer to him. I was already annoyed with myself for finding peace in his arms and now he again began to lecture me. What does he know about me to make such statement?
"It was easy for you because probably you got into it easily. Maybe you were in college with some bunch of loser friends who asked you to try drugs. And so you did it once and then again, and again and probably got addicted to it just for leisure! You didn't have to depend on it cause you wanted to forget pain, and that's why...and that's why its easy for you to get rid of it. But not everyone has a straight easy story like you! Some people take drugs to forget pain, forget people, forget betrayal and forget feelings"
I was furiously pouncing on him but he just stared at me with a smile.
"You know what?" he began to speak. "Your story about how I got into drugs sounds so fancy and cool that I wish that was my real story"
He moved his tongue on his cheek and continued, "that's it! From today onwards that's my story! I was a cool college kid..had crazy mates! Tried weird shaddy stuff and then got into drugs. Wow so amazing and impressive!"
I just stared at him for few seconds, if that's not his story than what is?
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