~** AgniKanya Krishnaa : Sri, Sakthi, Saraswathi **~ - Page 5

Originally posted by: Myraluvpanchali

Beautiful concept krish! 😊 thank you so much for this os! It's definitely a treat for all draupadi fans 😊

Originally posted by: ashne

Lovely work. Please do PM me also. Thanks 😊

Originally posted by: Shriya95

Wow...mesmerising Krish!!! How delicately u described her feelings !!! It's beautiful Dhrist part was super cute...n drau-shikky too 😳 they way u described I was reminded of star drau's birth 😆
Continue soon!!! 😃

Originally posted by: AikaSheikh

Waw!! This is AMAZING, Krishna! I love it! 👏👏👏

Glad you've come with this concept. Want to know more abt Drau trough her POV. Do continue soon, Dear. And Thank you for the PM 😉😉

Originally posted by: lnidhi30

Beautiful!! Krishu👏👍🏼

I can never imagine I can write something like this

and yay!! like button is back to work so I am gonna be on liking posts spree😆

Originally posted by: shyam09

Dear Sakhi,

Buddhu tu kya kar rahi ho!!!

(I just wanted to be the first to say it 🤣)

**Sometimes I forget about being constructive, so I tend to write things as if I'm blaming you when I'm actually trying to remember to write the "I felt this ... or it's not you, it's me stuff" so if you feel something isn't constructive, let me know so I can explain it again. I don't want to kill the enthusiasm for this beautiful project**

What I liked:

* It was like a Cadbury chocolate that's on your tongue. You can taste the chocolate perfection, and every moment is worth it. And once the chocolate is gone, you have an incredible urge for more chocolate that's never ending 😆

I'm not going to spend too much time praising you, since we both know I love everything you write / create.

So here are the things that I noticed:

The way I understand it - the initial silence Draupadi felt was beautiful since she wanted her father to break the silence first, like accepting her. This is why the silence that she once thought was beautiful was so painful when her father did not reciprocate.

But what i didn't understand was the relief she felt when Dhristi broke the silence. The pain from her father's silence seems to have been broken by her brother who came out of the fire too. In other words, I'm not sure why breaking the silence was given so much importance from an "outsider" like her brother and not by an "insider" like say Shikandini.

Something I'm extremely curious about - given the importance of silence - is the trip to the Raj Bhavan. You mentioned that it was through a flower filled forest, but was the walk also in silence or were they chit chatting especially since the silence was broken.

One final thing - I'm not sure how long your chapters are going to be, but since you are in Draupadi's head, you are Draupadi, I'd like to see more descriptions on what she thinks. I want to see what she sees, I want to smell what she smells, touch what she touches. I think that song in StarBharat really touches on what I'm getting at -- think about the scene where Draupadi is looking at herself in the mirror. The audience not only sees what Draupadi sees, but we can sort of feel what she is going through. She has a curious look in her eyes, she touches her cheeks and her expression changes from curiosity to that of awe.

All in all, if there is something to take away from the above stuff -- description, description, description. You do have excellent taste in metaphors and analogies and personification, but there are parts where I feel that needed a tiny bit more description. Unless I analyzed everything wrong and the part where Draupadi in in the Raj Bhavan doing that aarti ceremony -- she blurred everything out except her father because he meant that much to her. If that's the case, you should at least mention something like that.

😃 -- Sakha

P.S. Add me for future updates please

EDIT: aww this always happens ... I write a long post detailing potential ideas for the future and then I realize I'm the only person doing it. 😆😆

Originally posted by: Yagyaseni

Krishu Di!! That dimension and pain of silence, who knows it better than Yagyaseni and us!! You know Di, the silent pain portrayed here came out from your heart as I can see!! Expectations unreachable and hopes shattering give us a pain so intolerable that silence only makes us stable!! And you showed it beautifully!! Loved Bhrathasri Dhirst Ki dialogues!! And the ever intact hopes of Yagyaseni, so well portrayed, that I felt my tale being told in this!!

Now enough of my emotional atyachar, i conclude that it was beautiful and poignant!!!

Originally posted by: FeistyQueen

WOW!!!! 👏

This time I won't keep u with "res" 😆 so no worries!!!

I shall read this no matter what! 😎

So so loved this!!! ⭐️

I will give detail comment mrw morn! Coz am too tired now!

Don't doubt me, I will Defo give! 😉

Originally posted by: Meself

Our mytholgy has given us innumerable characters to hold and cherish; to love and hate; to dissect and discuss. And for most of them a definate black or white is available. But where do we put that woman who was born in white and then tainted in black?

When I was young I had heard so many people put countless allegations on Deaupadi or as you said Krishnaa; the name she prefered more! Back then I never could understand as to why? Monsters like Dussashan had loyal supporters then why was this lady; who was so grieviously wronged; beared the burnt? Dharmakshetra had Krishnaa say the right words; she never got a chance to be a mother and importantly a woman! Her torment has no limits yet she agreed on having them as pricking thorns in her life. That is the shear strength of character, something all the 'Maharathi' didn't have. There was none bold enough to face the test of time hence she had to take it all over herself.

I can't even tell you in words the excitement I have to read this. This woman is bottomless ocean of strength, intellect, bravery, love, kindness and justice. No mortal woman have it in them to silence the storm the way she did. Indeed she is the manifestation of 'Shrijan', 'Sangrakshan' and 'Sanghar'! Please continue it soon Krishnaa di( I hope you don't mind me calling you that!:D) I can't wait any further for this roller coaster ride.

Originally posted by: LiveYourDream

WOW...i loved it Krishu!!
You seem to be able to look into her soul when you are writing!!
wonderful wonderful job
Looking forward to reading more