*Updted* Vidarth FF:Indecent Proposal (Collab) chapter 11(pg 31) - Page 9

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sweetbutbroken thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#81

Originally posted by: Burn_the_Ashes

Alright! I'm super excited about writing this!
I get to collaborate with two amazing writers! What more could a girl ask for?
Dedicated to my co-writers and My sisters from different Misters (Ayesha, Kri and Annie)
A special dedication to Rae. Happy belated Birthday!!
Enjoy!



Chapter 1: It began with a bargain.



Firstly... sorry I'm reading this super late but I promise a big wala comment for making you wait (omg that rhymed... 😛) Secondly a big HUG to you Ash for the dedication... thanks sooo much 🤗

"His head felt like someone had decided it would be fun to take a hammer to it and bash it repeatedly till it pounded like a drum."
Woooaahhh... that's some deep description there... but as usual you start off with a BANG (get it... drums... go bang... oh gosh why do i even try)

hehehe i'm going to be very honest here and say that when i read "Blink Blink Blink" I imagined Parth saying Blink Blink Blink... not his eyes actually blinking 😳 "He was on a bed" with not much memory about the night before... uh oh that's never a good sign.

"Flashes of half remembered memory assaulted his brain".
On that note I just want to point out something very important... a lot of the time when we read FF's or OS's or anything of that sort here on IF, we're mostly looking for passionate scenes (romance, anger, friendship etc) on our favourite Jodi's because the show itself isn't satisfying our needs... but what we fail to notice and appreciate sometimes is the beauty that the writers present us with... what i mean by that is, after reading this I will probably be most excited about the romance parts with Vidarth (I'm hoping there are some)... but what really needs to be appreciated is how AMAZING of a writer you are... Just the way you describe things such as when he woke up, or when he gained some memory. They may seem like insignificant events and most writers wouldn't spend time even explaining them... but you, you my dear Ash, take so much care and consideration to make every paragraph, every line, every word, deep and meaningful. I just ranted on for so long when I simply wanted to say, DAMN GIRL, i get more and more impressed with your talent every time I read something new of yours! 😃

"A selfish girl like her never..." oh boy are you wrong parth... and i can't wait to see your reaction when you realise this... Like the little addition of the witch and burn part...

"She fought the desire to flinch" it sometimes annoys me (only sometimes) when people make Vidushi seem like she isn't affected or even the slightest bit scared by Parth... because honestly, any girl in her position would be terrified. So i like that you didn't make her invulnerable, but made it so that she is scared, but she's strong enough to hide that.

"He capitalized on her fear" i feel slightly incompetent because I would never have ever though of something as amazing as that... side note - do you read dictionaries in your spare time?

"It would have reduced her to tears. Not today" and the strong, powerful Vidushi is back!! I'm liking your version of this much much MUCH more than the one that was shown on the show.

"30 days and he could break her" 😭 😭 😭 😭 how can people hate someone so vulnerable... my heart is bleeding for Vidushi right now.

Has anyone noticed yet that all the fics on Vidarth are slightly biased towards Vidushi? As in she's always put in a good light despite her actions (so she should be) and Parth's the one who is in the wrong, in a way, for not understanding or appreciating vidushi.

"Worry clouded all other coherent thoughts" your vocabulary is spot on!! Once again i love how Vidushi puts Parth before herself, i just wish she didn't chase after him so much and made him come to her instead. But knowing Parth that might never happen.

"Fear for his condition defeated her fear of him." Love it, love it, LOVE IT!!!! She's scared of him, terrified even, but her fear for him defeats everything... now that is true love right there.

"Looking into her worry filled, lying eyes was unsettling." Well it's a start, at least he can tell that she's worried about him... "Of showing her the pain of having fakers around you." see now I just feel bad for parth because he's been through so much, when i should really feel angry that he still can't see that vidushi cares for him so deeply. The truth is that both of them are damaged in a way that only the other can understand, but he's not willing to let her.

I feel really weird because Parth is being so violent with Vidushi and causing her so much pain... but I'm loving every moment of it... does that make me sadistic 😕

"30 days and these lips" he put his right thumb over her lips." and there it is... the one scene that I will spend an entire week fussing over because it's just so damn hot!!!

It's over already 😔 really wanted to read more... but Chandu's part is next so I'm damn excited. I don't think i need to say anything more Ash because I'm sure from my comments you've already understood how much i liked it. Also, absolutely love the idea of having 30 chapter for the 30 days of Vidarth.

- Rae

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Posted: 10 years ago
#82

Originally posted by: sweetbutbroken



Firstly... sorry I'm reading this super late but I promise a big wala comment for making you wait (omg that rhymed... 😛) Secondly a big HUG to you Ash for the dedication... thanks sooo much 🤗

<font size="2">"His head felt like someone had decided it would be fun
to take a hammer to it and bash it repeatedly till it pounded like a
drum.
</font>"
Woooaahhh... that's some deep description there... but as usual you start off with a BANG (get it... drums... go bang... oh gosh why do i even try)

hehehe i'm going to be very honest here and say that when i read "Blink Blink Blink" I imagined Parth saying Blink Blink Blink... not his eyes actually blinking 😳 "He was on a bed" with not much memory about the night before... uh oh that's never a good sign.

"Flashes of half remembered memory assaulted his brain".
On that note I just want to point out something very important... a lot of the time when we read FF's or OS's or anything of that sort here on IF, we're mostly looking for passionate scenes (romance, anger, friendship etc) on our favourite Jodi's because the show itself isn't satisfying our needs... but what we fail to notice and appreciate sometimes is the beauty that the writers present us with... what i mean by that is, after reading this I will probably be most excited about the romance parts with Vidarth (I'm hoping there are some)... but what really needs to be appreciated is how AMAZING of a writer you are... Just the way you describe things such as when he woke up, or when he gained some memory. They may seem like insignificant events and most writers wouldn't spend time even explaining them... but you, you my dear Ash, take so much care and consideration to make every paragraph, every line, every word, deep and meaningful. I just ranted on for so long when I simply wanted to say, DAMN GIRL, i get more and more impressed with your talent every time I read something new of yours! 😃

"A selfish girl like her never..." oh boy are you wrong parth... and i can't wait to see your reaction when you realise this... Like the little addition of the witch and burn part...

"She fought the desire to flinch" it sometimes annoys me (only sometimes) when people make Vidushi seem like she isn't affected or even the slightest bit scared by Parth... because honestly, any girl in her position would be terrified. So i like that you didn't make her invulnerable, but made it so that she is scared, but she's strong enough to hide that.

"He capitalized on her fear" i feel slightly incompetent because I would never have ever though of something as amazing as that... side note - do you read dictionaries in your spare time?

"It would have reduced her to tears. Not today" and the strong, powerful Vidushi is back!! I'm liking your version of this much much MUCH more than the one that was shown on the show.

"30 days and he could break her" 😭 how can people hate someone so vulnerable... my heart is bleeding for Vidushi right now.

Has anyone noticed yet that all the fics on Vidarth are slightly biased towards Vidushi? As in she's always put in a good light despite her actions (so she should be) and Parth's the one who is in the wrong, in a way, for not understanding or appreciating vidushi.

"Worry clouded all other coherent thoughts" your vocabulary is spot on!! Once again i love how Vidushi puts Parth before herself, i just wish she didn't chase after him so much and made him come to her instead. But knowing Parth that might never happen.

<font size="2">"</font><font size="2">Fear for his condition defeated her fear of him." Love it, love it, LOVE IT!!!! She's scared of him, terrified even, but her fear for him defeats everything... now that is true love right there.
</font>
<font size="2">"Looking into her worry filled, lying eyes was unsettling.</font>" Well it's a start, at least he can tell that she's worried about him... "Of showing her the pain of having fakers around you." see now I just feel bad for parth because he's been through so much, when i should really feel angry that he still can't see that vidushi cares for him so deeply. The truth is that both of them are damaged in a way that only the other can understand, but he's not willing to let her.

I feel really weird because Parth is being so violent with Vidushi and causing her so much pain... but I'm loving every moment of it... does that make me sadistic 😕

<font size="2">"30 days and these lips" he put his right thumb over her lips." and there it is... the one scene that I will spend an entire week fussing over because it's just so damn hot!!!

It's over already 😔 really wanted to read more... but Chandu's part is next so I'm damn excited. I don't think i need to say anything more Ash because I'm sure from my comments you've already understood how much i liked it. Also, absolutely love the idea of having 30 chapter for the 30 days of Vidarth.

- Rae
</font>




Confession here : I might be allergic to dictionaries!!!
Lol..I will be putting some rohmance soon.
I love reading your large comments. :
They absolutely make my day :)
sweetbutbroken thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#83
EXCITED!!!! I know this will definitely tickle me 😆

P.S. Maine jo bhi kuch likha Ash ke liye about how her talent never fails to amaze me, please read it (it's the really long paragraph in my previous comment) because seriously it applies to you also... you have this way of making even the most insignificant scenes feel as is they are very important. And that's something that only a really talented writer can do... Your first line for example, "Many eyes scritinized her as Vidushi hurriedly walked through the hostel corridors. Oblivious to anything, she made her way to her room." In reality that line probably doesn't affect the storyline at all, but damn it creates a mood at the start of the piece just leaving me craving more... I absolutely love reading your works because even the smallest of sentences can leave the biggest impact. LOVE YOU CHANDU (but only because you're so damn talented 😆)

"No Sanyukta's fevicol-ke-jod-se-bhi-zyaada-bejod-supporter Kaustuki" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 kya line mara yaar... i feel bad saying this but it's so true!!! 🤣🤣🤣 but seriously, fevicol aur Kaustuki ka comparison, it's absolute GENIUS

"FITE ka Sunny Deol. Taarikh pe Taarikh ki tarah problem pe problem" 🤣🤣🤣 please stop before i die out of laughter... tu bahut filmy hai na? shayad isliye tu itni acchi writer hai (aur comedian bhi)

"Expression toh aisa diya tha jaise maine uski dono kidneys maang li ho, wo bhi free fund mein" I don't get it... how can you be so damn funny, but then write the hottest scenes I've ever read... saare dooniya ke talent kya tujh mein hai... not fair!!!

"Sab-kuch-jalaa-ke-raakh-kar-doonga expression" i swear you have a different name for each of Parth's expressions... waise bhi he usually has only one expression, angry-young-man wala, so i don't know how you notice these because i only notice them after you've mentioned it.

"She burst out laughing" Vids theek toh hai na... one minute she was being manhandled by Parth and now she's imitating him and laughing... yeh ladkhi pyaar mein bilkul pagal ho gayi hai.

"I am sure savere uth ke aadha ghanta practice karte hoge for these terminator dead expressions" 🤣 🤣 🤣 time please... i need to catch my breath from laughing so damn hard. And another terminator reference 😃 love it!!!!

"Watch and LEARN" yup parth... watch and learn how to become a good girlfriend 😆 future mein tume help karega... ahahahahaha

Awww Vids is worried about Parth's health... aur us gadhe ko farak hi nahi padtha... I love how she's talking to him like a child, because clearly he's acting like one at the moment. Hold up... did Vidushi just push Parth... GIRL POWER! You go girl, show him that he can't push you around.

"She sat on him" OMG OMG OMG OMG Vidarth senses going into overdrive at their close proximity. My mind is going straight to the gutter and once it's in I'm afraid it won't ever come out. CHANDU WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME??

"Parth timidly nodded his head completely gob smacked by her audacity" well what do you know... she's managed to stump Parth completely... and she somehow manages to get him to have his medicines... not only that but she FEEDS IT TO HIM!!! In Vidarth heaven right now

"Aur bhi sexy lagte ho" is this the real life... because i cannot just believe that Vids said that... to Parth... directly... while sitting on him... I'm pretty sure me and Parth have on the exact same expression right now.

"Rape nahi karoongi tumhaara. Promise" woaaahh where did this overconfident Vidushi come from and please tell me that she's here to say because damn she's amazing... Rape and all 😆 Bichara parth doesn't know what's going on..

"Maan karta hai tume khaa jaaon. But then I'm pure veg." I'm not sure whether to laugh because that line is hilarious, or cry because she's acting so sexy and confident and i just want him to jump her already.

"Yeh so hi raha hai na. Comma mein toh nahi chalaa gaya na?" 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 and your one liners are back... i swear these funny lines are like the highlight of the entire story.

🤣🤣🤣 she feeds him 🤣🤣 with a nipple bottle 🤣🤣🤣 that's meant for babies 🤣🤣 in front of the other boys...🤣🤣

"Jisne ki SHARAM... Uske foote KARAM" every time i manage to calm myself down and stop laughing... you throw in another hilarious line... i'm all laughed out now, can't do it anymore.

"Hajmola" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 main pakka aaj marne wali hoon because I can't breathe... Hajmola... how did Vidushi become so daring... and the boys are all on the floor laughing... poor parth still doesn't know how this all happened.. FUNNIEST SCENE EVER!!!

I'm sure all my 🤣 emoticons have already shown how much fun I had reading this... it was absolutely hilarious from start to finish... LOVELY UPDATE CHANDU!! As always, I loved reading it and can't wait for your next update.

- Rae
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Posted: 10 years ago
#84

Originally posted by: sweetbutbroken

EXCITED!!!! I know this will definitely tickle me 😆

P.S. Maine jo bhi kuch likha Ash ke liye about how her talent never fails to amaze me, please read it (it's the really long paragraph in my previous comment) because seriously it applies to you also... you have this way of making even the most insignificant scenes feel as is they are very important. And that's something that only a really talented writer can do... Your first line for example, "Many eyes scritinized her as Vidushi hurriedly walked through the hostel corridors. Oblivious to anything, she made her way to her room." In reality that line probably doesn't affect the storyline at all, but damn it creates a mood at the start of the piece just leaving me craving more... I absolutely love reading your works because even the smallest of sentences can leave the biggest impact. LOVE YOU CHANDU (but only because you're so damn talented 😆)

Thanks a lot Rae.. and that's why I wait for your comments. You read between the lines and I want my readers to do that. Rarely that happens and you are one of those rare readers.. I so wish you were following my Randhir FF... but its gone too ahead now.. 😊 Wahaan tere liye bahut kuchh hai though.. 😆😆 ... And I love you for being such an attentive reader.. 🤗

"No Sanyukta's fevicol-ke-jod-se-bhi-zyaada-bejod-supporter Kaustuki" 🤣 kya line mara yaar... i feel bad saying this but it's so true!!! 🤣🤣🤣 but seriously, fevicol aur Kaustuki ka comparison, it's absolute GENIUS


LOL... Main to industrial glue se compare karne waali thi.. LOL and I don't feel an ounce of badness about this... 🤣🤣🤣

"FITE ka Sunny Deol. Taarikh pe Taarikh ki tarah problem pe problem" 🤣🤣🤣 please stop before i die out of laughter... tu bahut filmy hai na? shayad isliye tu itni acchi writer hai (aur comedian bhi)

Heheh... thunku... 🤣🤣... LOL Dhai kilo ke biceps ke saath ghoomta hai with a list of problems he has with Vidushi.. 🤣🤣🤣

"Expression toh aisa diya tha jaise maine uski dono kidneys maang li ho, wo bhi free fund mein" I don't get it... how can you be so damn funny, but then write the hottest scenes I've ever read... saare dooniya ke talent kya tujh mein hai... not fair!!!

Hehehe.. can i tease again?... Chapter 6.. 🤣🤣🤣

"Sab-kuch-jalaa-ke-raakh-kar-doonga expression" i swear you have a different name for each of Parth's expressions... waise bhi he usually has only one expression, angry-young-man wala, so i don't know how you notice these because i only notice them after you've mentioned it.

LOL Vidushi se milne ke baad yehi hota hai uska expression.. Kal hi bola usne.. "Mera dimag ghoom jaaye isse pehle sudhar jaao".. LOL .. hila hua dimaag aur kya karega bol.. 🤣🤣

"She burst out laughing" Vids theek toh hai na... one minute she was being manhandled by Parth and now she's imitating him and laughing... yeh ladkhi pyaar mein bilkul pagal ho gayi hai.

LOL Parth ko imitate kar rahi thi.. Hansi to aayegi hi.. 🤣

"I am sure savere uth ke aadha ghanta practice karte hoge for these terminator dead expressions" 🤣 🤣 🤣 time please... i need to catch my breath from laughing so damn hard. And another terminator reference 😃 love it!!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ..

"Watch and LEARN" yup parth... watch and learn how to become a good girlfriend 😆 future mein tume help karega... ahahahahaha

Awww Vids is worried about Parth's health... aur us gadhe ko farak hi nahi padtha... I love how she's talking to him like a child, because clearly he's acting like one at the moment. Hold up... did Vidushi just push Parth... GIRL POWER! You go girl, show him that he can't push you around.

Yeahh.. Muscle man ke saath aise hi karna padta hai.. 😈😈😈

"She sat on him" OMG OMG OMG OMG Vidarth senses going into overdrive at their close proximity. My mind is going straight to the gutter and once it's in I'm afraid it won't ever come out. CHANDU WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME??

Was one of my fantasies.. 😉😉😉

"Parth timidly nodded his head completely gob smacked by her audacity" well what do you know... she's managed to stump Parth completely... and she somehow manages to get him to have his medicines... not only that but she FEEDS IT TO HIM!!! In Vidarth heaven right now

"Aur bhi sexy lagte ho" is this the real life... because i cannot just believe that Vids said that... to Parth... directly... while sitting on him... I'm pretty sure me and Parth have on the exact same expression right now.

Well he told her not to lie.. She just implied.. 🤣

"Rape nahi karoongi tumhaara. Promise" woaaahh where did this overconfident Vidushi come from and please tell me that she's here to say because damn she's amazing... Rape and all 😆 Bichara parth doesn't know what's going on..

Mere updates mein definitely rahegi.. 🤣🤣🤣...

"Maan karta hai tume khaa jaaon. But then I'm pure veg." I'm not sure whether to laugh because that line is hilarious, or cry because she's acting so sexy and confident and i just want him to jump her already.

Hehehe.. Ponga pandit hai Parth.. kachu nahi samjhtaa.. 🤣🤣... Ninja turtle kaheen ka. 🤣🤣

"Yeh so hi raha hai na. Comma mein toh nahi chalaa gaya na?" 🤣 and your one liners are back... i swear these funny lines are like the highlight of the entire story.


🤣🤣🤣🤣.. I use this line personally a lot of times.. 🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣 she feeds him 🤣🤣 with a nipple bottle 🤣🤣🤣 that's meant for babies 🤣🤣 in front of the other boys...🤣🤣

"Jisne ki SHARAM... Uske foote KARAM" every time i manage to calm myself down and stop laughing... you throw in another hilarious line... i'm all laughed out now, can't do it anymore.

Another of my personal line.. 🤣🤣.. Life mein ye follow karna maangta.. 🤣

"Hajmola" 🤣 main pakka aaj marne wali hoon because I can't breathe... Hajmola... how did Vidushi become so daring... and the boys are all on the floor laughing... poor parth still doesn't know how this all happened.. FUNNIEST SCENE EVER!!!

Hehehe.. Clear indication to shun that constipated look he carries all the time.. 🤣🤣🤣

I'm sure all my 🤣 emoticons have already shown how much fun I had reading this... it was absolutely hilarious from start to finish... LOVELY UPDATE CHANDU!! As always, I loved reading it and can't wait for your next update.

Love you... 🤪🤪🤪🤪

- Rae

sweetbutbroken thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#85
Shreya ab its your turn... Waise i'm super duper excited to read this because I know you've written some really hot stuff in the past... so can't wait 😃

"But of a joke" 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 I'm not even sure if you meant that as a pun... but still i found it damn hilarious. Parth wants to humiliate Vidushi... not sure how he can beat what she did to him 😆

hahah pichle chapter mein Vidushi was being confident and outgoing... and she's finally back to being Vidushi again, yelling at others and telling them off 😛

"Hey baby kya kar rahi ho" *gobsmacked* not even sure what just happened but if this is his idea of payback then damn Vidushi should really upset him more often. "Kuch n... kuch nahi" Vidushi's lost for words... since when? Looks like Parth really knows what he's doing.

"You know I only want one thing an that is you." My heart melted with this line.. even though he's clearly faking it, it's still the cutest thing he's ever said. HE KISSED VIDUSHI'S CHEEKS?? Now I'm starting to doubt if he's doing it for revenge or his own personal benefit 😉

"As soon as Vidushi stepped in canteen she was in shock seeing Parth waiting for her by a beautifully decorated table with a candle lit in the centre and a red rose in his hand which he gave her saying so loudly almost shouting so that everyone in the range of kilometres could hear him saying "Tumarhe liye jaanu. Please accept this small token of appreciation from me Vidushi Kumar."

^^ WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW???? Parth... candle lit table... is this part of his revenge plan, i really hope not because i'm liking this way too much!

Lol candlelit in the morning... nice one Parth, clearly you thought this out well 😆 "Sweetcheeks" ok now that is a dead giveaway, Parth will NEVER say "Sweetcheeks"... Vids must know something is up now.

"You glow the brightest of all the celestial bodies Darling that it fades away anything or anyone in front of you" tell me the truth... where did you learn this because it's the most beautiful line I've heard... and if you came up with it yourself then i BOW DOWN TO YOU!!!!

🤣 hehe Parth bites Vids finger when she feeds him... ab poorana wala Parth is back. I was starting to think he had mutated into someone completely different.

Awww Vidushi's so worried for him when he doesn't take his medicines... how can he think that it's all fake?? "Infact mein to chahta hu ke tum mujhe kal ki tarah mujhe par chad kar nipple waali bottle se dawai khilao. I insist" Not even sure what to think right now... Parth just asked her to feed him his medicines... in a nipple bottle 🤣

Woa-kay... so parth is in Vidushi's room... great... my mind has gone straight to the gutter... DOUBLE GREAT!!! Is it just me or is it suddenly getting really hot in here... hahaha so Parth smells, clean, citrus and hot... not sure how someone can smell hot but i'll play along.

"Far more basic urges were driving Parth now; a desire to vent all that pent-up tension in a fashion which she suddenly sensed would come as naturally to him as breathing.
" ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️ ☺️

OMG HE LEFT... JUST LIKE THAT... i hate to admit it but that was the best revenge plan ever... still, how could he not feel what she was feeling... how could he turn the temperature up so high and then just leave... uff

Love reading this Shreya... really awesome work.

- Rae
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Posted: 10 years ago
#86

Originally posted by: sweetbutbroken

Shreya ab its your turn... Waise i'm super duper excited to read this because I know you've written some really hot stuff in the past... so can't wait 😃

"But of a joke" 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 I'm not even sure if you meant that as a pun... but still i found it damn hilarious. Parth wants to humiliate Vidushi... not sure how he can beat what she did to him 😆

hahah pichle chapter mein Vidushi was being confident and outgoing... and she's finally back to being Vidushi again, yelling at others and telling them off 😛

"Hey baby kya kar rahi ho" *gobsmacked* not even sure what just happened but if this is his idea of payback then damn Vidushi should really upset him more often. "Kuch n... kuch nahi" Vidushi's lost for words... since when? Looks like Parth really knows what he's doing.

"You know I only want one thing an that is you." My heart melted with this line.. even though he's clearly faking it, it's still the cutest thing he's ever said. HE KISSED VIDUSHI'S CHEEKS?? Now I'm starting to doubt if he's doing it for revenge or his own personal benefit 😉

"As soon as Vidushi stepped in canteen she was in shock seeing Parth waiting for her by a beautifully decorated table with a candle lit in the centre and a red rose in his hand which he gave her saying so loudly almost shouting so that everyone in the range of kilometres could hear him saying "Tumarhe liye jaanu. Please accept this small token of appreciation from me Vidushi Kumar."

^^ WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW???? Parth... candle lit table... is this part of his revenge plan, i really hope not because i'm liking this way too much!

Lol candlelit in the morning... nice one Parth, clearly you thought this out well 😆 "Sweetcheeks" ok now that is a dead giveaway, Parth will NEVER say "Sweetcheeks"... Vids must know something is up now.

"You glow the brightest of all the celestial bodies Darling that it fades away anything or anyone in front of you" tell me the truth... where did you learn this because it's the most beautiful line I've heard... and if you came up with it yourself then i BOW DOWN TO YOU!!!!

🤣 hehe Parth bites Vids finger when she feeds him... ab poorana wala Parth is back. I was starting to think he had mutated into someone completely different.

Awww Vidushi's so worried for him when he doesn't take his medicines... how can he think that it's all fake?? "Infact mein to chahta hu ke tum mujhe kal ki tarah mujhe par chad kar nipple waali bottle se dawai khilao. I insist" Not even sure what to think right now... Parth just asked her to feed him his medicines... in a nipple bottle 🤣

Woa-kay... so parth is in Vidushi's room... great... my mind has gone straight to the gutter... DOUBLE GREAT!!! Is it just me or is it suddenly getting really hot in here... hahaha so Parth smells, clean, citrus and hot... not sure how someone can smell hot but i'll play along.

"Far more basic urges were driving Parth now; a desire to vent all that pent-up tension in a fashion which she suddenly sensed would come as naturally to him as breathing.
" ☺️

OMG HE LEFT... JUST LIKE THAT... i hate to admit it but that was the best revenge plan ever... still, how could he not feel what she was feeling... how could he turn the temperature up so high and then just leave... uff

Love reading this Shreya... really awesome work.

- Rae

Hey Rae its so nice to hear from u...first of all thanks for reading n i m glad u liked it😊😊😊i know i have written some hot stff in past but i cant write that over here coz its still early days for them...n to tell u the truth i thought that by self...once a guy told me a really cheezy line so it stuck n i modified it here...n as for u liking what I wrote thank u coz i enjoyed writing as much as u did reading it coz this is a new genre for me n that too writing in hindi is tad bit difficult for me😊keep reviewing my work like that in future dear😊😊😊
Nomadic_Vibe thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#87

Originally posted by: Moony87

LOL .. Saare scores settle kar diye plus shagun ka extra score bhi de diya. 😃

Candle light breakfast.. 😆😆
Well.. you turned it around from a fun ride to an emotional hurt for Vidushi.. 😭

Masst it was.. 👏

Well, waiting for next part. I guess we should now write 2 chapters per author.. Warna ye 30 din 1 saal mein convert ho jaayenge. 🤣

lol yeah or may be two days per author in one update...n u gave vidushi itni long lead so i had to do something to settle the score...me too waiting for Ash's update n see where she is going😆😆😆
SheWantsFanfic thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#88

I'm back!
With another dose of Boyfriend Parth and Girlfriend Vidushi.

Meh.
Dedicated to my Pals!
Chandu AND Shreya (I am so scared of maintaining the standards you have set!)
Aimy (Waiting for an OS!!)
Rae (I am waiting for a nice long comment from you!)
Annie , Kri and Ayee (Who can't comment on my stuff these days, busy beyotches!! All these idiots write too. Give them a shot!)
Antu and Sree - My oldest and newest friends on the DT.
(Antu, we may need aDT no 3!!)
And who ever is reading this!!!
You, yes you!!!
This was written for your reading pleasure. Kindly return the good deed by leaving a comment for my reading pleasure!

Chapter 4: Handle with care
*Ye to mara haq he na. After all you are mine. Aren't you?*
She rolled over, restlessly seeking comfort.
*You are mine *
Thoughts were rushing past her mind at a blinding pace, mixing together, one indistinguishable from the other.
Parth.
The smirk and the glint in those eyes of his.
Enough to melt her into a helpless creature.
Enough to make her cry, slyly hiding her tears in her pillows.
Enough to embarrass her and reduce her into nothing.
She cried ,letting the pain out.
It hurt.
It hurt so much.
She could feel his lips on her cheek.
And his arms around her.
And she knew. She knew it was all an illusion.
Fake.
Artificial
Pretense.
And the worst thing?
She had done it to herself.
He had never offered to be her boyfriend like she wanted. She had made him, challenged him.
She had poked a 'sleeping dragon'.
She sighed.
Cuddling with the blanket, she wiped the tears.
Was asking for a little bit of his attention wrong?
Was she overstepping the boundaries he so clearly wanted to be unconquered?
Was she making a mistake?
'Loving him can't be a mistake. Loving him too much is the crime.' she pondered over the events of the past two days.
He'd been completely shocked and confounded by her straight forward, shameless behavior.
She recalled the look in his eyes when she had sat on his chest and made him eat his meds.
'He was shocked! Koi bhoot pekhne se kaise chehra phika pad ta hai waise blank face tha uska!' the memory made her smile through her tears.
'Aur...that look when I told him I won't rape him or eat him up...Awww...He looked like a lost puppy! Itna cute , buddhu look tha...' another tear escaped her.
'Aur woh...woh look! Jab mein uske room mein ghuss Gai thi! Sabhi Ladkon ko joor ka jhatka laga tha! Maaja agaya tha!' she stiffled a giggle.
'Par shayad uske roommates ke samne nahi karna chaiye tha...'she mused, remembering the howls and looks thrown at Parth by that Jiggy and Randhir.
'Guilty nahi feel karungi, Parth ne bhi scores even kardiye...Un juniors aur pure college ke samne itna PDA kardiya ki mera 'ice queen' image hi tel lagane gaya!' she frowned.
'Candle-light breakfast! Hum ek dusre ko embarrass karne ki competition kar rahe hai ya apne aap ko? Jo bhi ho..use aise mere room mein aa kar up close and personal dhamki dene ki jarurat nahi thi! Samajta kya hai? Ki I'll melt and become a puddle of mush?' she pouted 'Par uske samne helpless toh ho jati hun ye uski biggest strength hai.'
She yawned, feeling emotionally worn out by all her Parth dominated thoughts
'Acha hai...Din mein actions se dominate karta hai aur raat main us hi ke khayal torture karte hai. Khud baby ki tarah so raha hoga.' She rolled her eyes.
'Baat hi nahi karungi ! Kya bolta tha mujhe? Chipko mat? Abhi main 360 degree turn lungi aur tum hi chipkoo movement initiate karoge. Dekhlena tum!' She smirked.


--------------------
"Parth Bhai dawa le li? " Jiggy shook the hajmola bottle with a goofy grin on his face.
Even Randhir who had been pissed off thanks to another Arguement with Sanyukta began guffawing at the incredible display of anger showcased on Parth's face.
Parth pulled out the pills and took one out.
"Le lo dawaii! It's working. Aaj ye banda angry young man se roadside Romeo ban gaya tha. " Randhir smirked, looking at Parth popping a pill and washing it down with water .
Parth fumed.
Randhir paid no attention to the death glare he got from Parth.
Thoroughly agitated, Parth retorted "Atleast me and Vidushi are actually acting our age aur Hum bachhon jaise nahi ladh rahe hai. I'm sorry if Main Aur Vidu Tujhse Aur Sanyukta se jyada mature hai "
Randhirs hands turned into angry fists.
"Bhai... Bhai! Zhagda chodo Aur so jao . Kal PKC ki class hai " Jiggy turned off his light.
"Aise Phir mere bare Mein bola toh chodunga nahi "Randhir roared.
"Sach toh bola meine. Aur Kar Kya loge? Maroge? Maro. But stop lying to yourself. Bachoon jaise act karne se kuch solve nahi hota " Parth replied, his tone soft and intending to end the discussion once and for all.
Unfortunately for Parth, Randhir's Battlemode was switched on.
"Ho gaya? Itne Pravachan dete ho aur khud kuch follow karte ho kya?" Randhir's laugh mocked him.
"Meri chinta maat karo. Kaal final task hai uski chinta karo!" Parth growled.
"Haan. Main final task ki hi chinta kar raha hun. Tumhari bestfriend Sanyukta ko zhelna aur task karna difficult task hoga...agar koi aur meri jagah hota" Randhir had his 'Hum kisi se kam nahi...humse kitne ko kisi mein dum nai' swagger back.
Parth sighed. "Raat bahot ho gai hai, goodnight"
"Yeah. Yeah.. Sweet Vidushi dreams. We will all enjoy it while it lasts." Randhir laughed.
"What do you mean Randhir?" Parth's jaw clenched.
"Matlab ye so called sukon ko enjoy karenge hum. Vidushi toh koi sati savitri nahi hai ki tumhare hypocrite pravachan ko zyada der tak sun paye. She will break up with you under a month. Aur phir tum wapis udas devdas aur Vidushi wicked witch of the west ben jaoge." Randhir grinned "Aur main use blame nahi karunga..."

Parth's jaw tightened. "Aur agar main aur Vidushi breakup nahi karte within a month?"

"Agar Vidushi ne tumhe 2 mahine tak tolerate kiya toh tu jita. " Randhir rolled his eyes.
"Mujhe hi conditions? Agar main jita toh uske baad tum Sanyukta ke sath jhagda nahi karoge" Parth challenged, giving Randhir his 'You are so losing this one' look.
"Tum haroge Parth. Tumhe kya lagta hai? Vidushi will break up with you. Itni stupid nahi hai ki woh tumse pyaar-wyaar kar pade! She's too sly for that!" Randhir taunted.
"The joke is on you this time Rank one. Pyaar toh woh karti hai. Aur agar nahi bhi karti toh 2 mahine ke andar karegi" Parth smirked.
"Dekhte hai. Agar tumhara breakup 2 mahine ke undar hogaya toh tum Sanyukta aur mere bare main bolna band kardoge" Randhir declared.
"Aur agar main aur Vidushi 2 mahine se jyada ek sath rahe toh hamare 2 MONTH anniversary pe Cake ka kharcha tum karoge aur Sanyukta se civilly behave karoge. Aur haan, 2 mahine tak tum Vidushi se baat nahi karoge. Main tumhe cheating ka koi chance nahi dunga!" Parth glared at Randhir.
"Deal. 2 mahine." Randhir glared back.
-------------------------------------------------------
Vidushi woke up in the morning when the sun hit her face, a bright blow to her sleepy eyes.
"Great. Sunlight bhi aa gaya mock karne! Good Morning my foot.!" she greated the day with a frown.
The clock next to Sanyukta's bed went off, another taunt , this time to her ears.
"Ache din ane wale hai...But not in this hell otherwise known as FITE...Full too Intese Torture to Everyone!" Vidushi groaned, picking up a set of fresh clothes and heading to the bathroom before her roomates got up and used all the hot bathwater like last time.
She gave herself a critcal do over in the mirror.
Hair, eyes and lips all looked perfect.
The green sleeveless top and the perfect jean shorts were to die for.
'To to resist this! Ice queen on!' She blew the mirror a kiss and began to walk to the canteen.
She needed a chai to start her challenging day.
She paid for the cup of steaming chai and took a seat at her usual table.
She looked down at the chai and frowned.
Steaming like an engine
" Is chai ke toh sirf 2 versions hai. Antartica ya Volcano." she frowned.
"There you are. Chai pi rahi ho?" A husky voice behind her asked.
Vidushi froze.
'It's just Parth. Ignore! Koi Irritating person hai aisa samajh.. Fevicol Kaustuki hai aisa samajh ke baat karle!' she motivated herself.
Securing the bitch face and her classic glare, she turned around and hissed "Nahi, I'm drinking beer. Tumhe matlab?"
Parth's smug look turned into a furious one.
'Shit...Terminator ki re-entry...No...it's Kaustuki, Sanyukta fevicol fangirl!'
He grabbed the chair beside her and sat, purposely moving as close as possible to her.
His jean-clad leg brushed against her bare skin.
She fought a whimper as he grabbed her left hand and interwined their fingers.
Imagining he was Fevicol Kaustuki became down right impossible when he pulled her hand to his lips and brushed a gentle kiss on it.
She couldn't fight the blush spreading across her cheeks.
Her plan was going to be ruined before it even started!
She couldn't let that happen could she?
She tried to pull her hand out of his but the grip on it tightened painfully.
He brushed another kiss against her knuckles.
"Parth..ye tum.." his index finger against her lips stopped her.
"Chup. Let your boyfriend express his love. 8 hours away from you was hell." Parth's tone was sweet but the hidden meaning was not lost on her 'Play along or else..."
She grabbed her cup with her free hand and brought it to her lips.
"Ek minute!"Parth snatched the cup to his own lips and blew on it before bringing it back to her lips.
She gave him a 'What is wrong with you ?'look before she took a sip.
He brought the cup back to his own lips and took a sip.
She fought another blush as the indirect kiss registered in her mind.
Parth on the other had was a storm behind a calm.
He had to put on this show. He would have enjoyed that unwilling blush he had put on her cheeks if he didn't have a big question tormenting him.
'How do I ask her...how the hell do I ask Vidushi for a bloody extenstion of our fake relationship without begging?'
---------------------------------------------------
Next time on Indecent Proposal.

"Khelna hai na? I'll make the rules this time."
"What rules?"
"My rules"
------------------------------------------------
Alright. Please excuse my bad Hindi. My hindi guru has taken a break from me! (She is on VACATION, LUCKY PERSON!)
I'll be writing the next chapter of IP too.
We are trying out a new system of updates.
Expect an update soonish. I've got exams from the 1st Oct and will be on hiatus till 17.
Moony and Sherya will be giving double updates too! (I'm super excited about their updates!!)
Comments.
I want them yaar.
Stay tuned and watch this space for more.
Love,
Ash!


Moony87 thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#89
AWESOMEEE.. Saale clean bold kar diya tune.. Ab tere saath kon match up karega re..
😆

Poor Vidushi yaaar.. Damn, she has a good intention and what she is getting is a recipe of royal heartbreak 😭

Jiggy was hillarious.. 😆😆..Even Randhir.. 😆😆😆

Terminator.. 😆😆.. You used my terminology.. Izzat badhaa di yaar..😳😳😳

Can i Kill PARTH.. That's downright cheap.. 😡😡😡.. SAnyuktaa sanyuktaa Sanyuktaaa... Saale khud to civil behave karle ... baad mein Randhir ko gyaan dena.. 😡😡😡

Damn he knows Vidushi loves him.. obviously.. JERK 😡😡😡

The fake PDA.. Can i strangle him.. 😡😡😡

Update next part ASAP... plzzz.. Now to m more determined.. Saale ko naani na yaad dilaai to I'll change my username.. 🤣

He doesn't wanna beg.. I'll make him crawl and beg.. 😡😡😡
Edited by Moony87 - 10 years ago
CrazyBilli thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#90
Gosh I am laughing so much!! Vids actually imagined Parthu as Kaustuki!! Biut Parthu made that impossible as well..😆 And now an extension!!😲

Loved it!!👏

Edited by ..-DeViLiA-.. - 10 years ago

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