The unknown son (An Arjuna-Iravan FF) Part 8B-Page 23

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ElMystique

@ElMystique

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#161

Hey tia commenting on last three chappies ..

..I liked the Yuddhi Iravaan meeting also motherly affection ..But the best chappy and the cake was little 😆Rochanagarbha I was imagining a 4 feet 9 inches early teeneger clad in Armour ..It is very adorable when he says an army of weird looking people awee that was uber cute ..And comming to the last update it was good not so eagerly yet waiting for the saddest part of this FF .Great concept and awesome writing girl .

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Yajnaseni

@Yajnaseni

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#162

Originally posted by: frappie
Hey tia commenting on last three chappies ..
..I liked the Yuddhi Iravaan meeting also motherly affection ..But the best chappy and the cake was little 😆Rochanagarbha I was imagining a 4 feet 9 inches early teeneger clad in Armour ..It is very adorable when he says an army of weird looking people awee that was uber cute ..And comming to the last update it was good not so eagerly yet waiting for the saddest part of this FF .Great concept and awesome writing girl .

Thanks di. Long time I did not receive any comment from you. My heart aches at he thought that I would have to write the last part. Have been trying to put the date as far as possible.

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Yajnaseni

@Yajnaseni

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#163

I decided to keep the end very short and sweet.

PART 8B

The very sight of the fierce bird could fill the heart with fear. Flying around the sky with its outstretched brown wings, the bird seemed to rule the sky. The Eagle's eye could spot the tiniest of creatures at the smallest nooks on Earth. It took this eagle no time to spot the muscular figure of the Naga prince. It swooped down at its prey.

Just about to reach the Earth, Alambusha transformed back to his Rakshasa form. He summoned his mayavi astra and made a strike at Iravan's back from behind. At the very moment Iravan's back was covered with green scales, protecting him from the fierce blow. Having killed the man he had been fighting with, Iravan turned around to combat with the rakshasa. Alambusha used his magical power to cast an effect on himself. Wherever he looked Iravan saw only Alambusha. Iravan used his power to throw several wooden pieces in each direction. Only one of those wooden pieces was reflected back. Iravan aimed his sword at the solid Alambusha after having blinded the Rakshasa with excessive light. Alambusha side stepped Iravan having sensed his approach. The battle went on and on. Both the warriors seemed undefeatable. Iravan's amour of scales was impenetrable. Every part of the Rakshasa's body was fatigued. Just before he could give up hope, the solution to his problem clicked in his mind.

Alambusha vanished leaving a wide eyed Iravan looking around. Alambusha in his eagle form swept through the air to attack its eternal enemy the snake. Iravan's head was ripped apart by the fearsome bird's jaw. It fell rolling to the ground, splattering blood everywhere. Saraswati River, making the pure water turn purple. Iravan's head was ripped apart from its torso to finally rest on his mother's lap.

------------------------------ ------------------------- ----------------------------------------- --------

The head of the handsome prince had swept through the land of the Nagas, travelling to Ulupi's palace, monitoring its way as if it could still think, as if it wished to meets its mother. Ulupi did not react to the severed head. She cradled it into her arms like one would do to a baby. No one knew what the princes was thinking. She showed no signs of distress or sorrow. Actually her face had gone expressionless, as if someone had sucked out her soul. She sat with her son, as good as a living corpse.

-------- ---------------- ------------- --------------- -------------------- ---------------- ------------

Another battle was taking place at another corner of Kurukshetra. Arjun was throwing arrows mechanically, sensing enemies using all his senses. Arjun felt that just for a second a tiny weapon had gone past his defense to prick him somewhere near his heart. But there was no such weapon. "Must be a whim" he thought dismissing the trivial incident from his mind

Edited by Yajnaseni - 10 years ago

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proteeti

@sambhavami

Stunner

+ 12

Posted: 10 years ago

#164

My Eyes Were Moist To See The Indifference To Arjun. But, Maybe He Was Sad Later On, To Hear Of Iravan's Death, But Your Way Of Expressing Is Really Enchanting ! A Beautiful End To A Poignant Story !

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Yajnaseni

@Yajnaseni

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#165

Originally posted by: Radhikerani
My Eyes Were Moist To See The Indifference To Arjun. But, Maybe He Was Sad Later On, To Hear Of Iravan's Death, But Your Way Of Expressing Is Really Enchanting ! A Beautiful End To A Poignant Story !

Thanks for following my story to the end. I really appreciate it.

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...Hemangi

@...Hemangi

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#166

Tia its was superb ending to your saga of Iravan. Very well done Tia 👏 It was touching & poignant. However, I felt Arjun's emotions a bit indifferent towards the end.But the emotions of grieving mother Ulupi was very well penned.

Hope u will come up with more beautiful stories like this one 😊

Edited by ...Hemangi - 10 years ago

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iturkhahs

@iturkhahs

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#167

This was really an awesome ending of the unknown son.😭😭 I really felt bad for him.😭😭 And also wish he was as shown in Mahabharat Serial too. Non the less you have given full justice to the character. Loved the way you expressed Uloopi a mothers emotion.

I agree with Himangi that arjuns emotion were very indifferent.

But really loved the whole story and thanks for completing it and writing it so very beautifully😃

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Yajnaseni

@Yajnaseni

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#168

Just think about it a bit: I intentionally made Arjun's feeling shallow. If you can not derive an answer to "why?" then I will tell you later.

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LiveYourDream

@LiveYourDream

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#169

such a fitting end to this wonderful saga!
you have done full justice to it!
And the fact that Arjun was not as attached to this son is depicted wonderfully

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Rumjhum Laha

@Patrarekha

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#170

sorry was busy in my school duties tia , and then after reading i was not in position to write. how can i say anything when i am visualizing son's head falls on mother's lap? i ran out of words and then the Peshawar incident completely drained me, so was not able to comment , i know always that Iravan's story was sad but i was not attached to him as i am with Abhimanyu but through your writing i fell in love with Iravan , so his ending was heart wrenching to me, i always hated Alambusha for killing Iravan by deceit but reading this i badly felt an urge to see how Ghatotkacha kills Alambusha, i can't just imagine what was going on Uloopi's heart , destiny never gave her anything only had taken from her , her beloved never loved her , only resort of her life now is snatched away from her , no i can't imagine what is she feeling just like i cant imagin whats going in those parents heart whose children are massacred in Peswar attack, Ghatotkach and Iravan both came to fight a battle only for their fathers no way it was related to them , still Ghatotkach gets some mentions for different reasons but Iravan none, coz Arjun was much aloof and you penned Arjun's aloofness convincingly, but Arjun did mourn Iravan's death when he came to know. but your last ending was quite raw and intense without getting emotional you hit the right cord but i would love to read Arjun's reactions after knowing about Iravan's demise.

Edited by Patrarekha - 10 years ago