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The next morning Prem went to work where else Mukti was busy packing her belongings and the things she needed to move to the new apartment. Both Sneha and Prerna had helped her along and made sure she had everything she needed.
Prem had gotten off early that day as his mind couldn't concentrate at all.
His thoughts always went to her and their small trip to London. The small tear she had shred, the lowered gaze, the way his jacket had hung around her shoulders...
He knew something had evoked in her while staying together at the hotel. She must be feeling something. She couldn't leave that place without any thought about them together - Or could she?
He needed to see her. He needs answers and the only way of getting them, was to drive at her place.
He drove toward the new apartment where she lived. He already remembered the address which his mother had told him about earlier.
He parked the car outside and got to the 2nd floor where he stood in front of her door. He took a deep breath and knocked on it.
A moment later, he heard someone approach the door as it was opened by the woman with a surprised expression on her face.
"Prem?"
He stood awkwardly as he placed his hands inside the pockets of his pants.
"Hi, can I come in?"
"Uh, sure.." She moved to the side where he led him inside her apartment.
He took a glance around and noticed the large boxes placed on the floor.
"I came by to see if you needed any help?"
"No, I've got it, thank you," somehow the words had come across rather in a rudely manner.
"Look, I actually came here to talk to you about something else." He paused slightly.
"I know you felt something going along to London."
But Mukti brushed it off.
"I don't have time for this right now."
"You can't avoid these questions forever."
"I'm not avoiding anything."
He raised an eyebrow, demanding an answer. "Really? You're not?"
"No!" she kept staring at him.
"I just don't want to dwell on something which is pointless."
"What are you even saying? You think this is pointless? You think me demanding an honest answer from you is waste of time?"
She didn't answer him as she turned around feeling the feeling of frustration slowly getting to her.
She already knew this was going to turn up the minute she moved back to the city. This was something she was afraid to come back to. All honesty, she didn't know how to answer his questions.
"Mukti.."
She turned around to face him.
"There's no history between us, Prem. There never was nor will it ever happen. The sooner you get this through, the better. For you, for me and for both of us."
The sudden emotion of feeling rejected filled his mind. He left before he could say something he would regret later on.
That evening, he had spent his whole day at his cabin. He felt frustrated yet hurt. Had he really aimed far too ahead of him that he thought that everything would be fine?
How could he feel so empty again? Just like.. He didn't feel like refreshing the hidden memory. Yet, he couldn't stop hearing her hurtful words - the words which echoed in his mind over and over again.
"I just don't want to dwell on something which is pointless."
"There's no history between us, Prem. there never was nor will it ever happen. The sooner you get this through, the better. For you, for me and for both of us."
He turned his hands into fist by what affect she had on him. He was tired of sitting by the sideline and watch, his life unfold before him. This was not what he wanted.
This was not who he was.
He felt anger, betrayal and emptiness by her words - and he was not going to leave it at that.
He stood up and stormed out from the building and climbed into his car and drove toward the familiar street once again.
He managed to arrive at her doorstep one more time during the night and knocked, waiting impatiently for her to open the door.
She opened and got surprised to see him again, yet she sighed.
"Prem, what are you doing here? I thought I made myself clear about.."
"What do you think of yourself? Huh?" He led himself inside where she couldn't help but to take a few steps back in the living room. His eyes were burning for answers.
"What are you doing? You're not allowed in here!"
"The hell I am." He started to get closer to her, as he held her by the arm.
"Listen to me, and listen carefully, Basanti. What did you think? - That you could just waltz back in my life with the thought that nothing happened? That the last few years never happened?"
She tried to struggle from his strong grip.
"Prem, stop it."
He led her go only to find intensive eyes staring right at her.
"What? Did I aim right? Does it hurt to talk about it?"
Mukti couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Are you the only person living on this earth that has feelings? Are you the only person left who had a hurtful past?"
He said each word with such venom and slowly raised his voice.
"Are you the only one who faced betrayal and pain?"
"Prem, you're crossing the line."
"What, crossing the line? And you - didn't you cross the line?" He reached out and held her by the arms once again.
"Look what you've done to me! For the past 4 years I've lived with the thought that I would never see you again. In those years I've heard your words haunt me every single night. Every minute, every second I've tried to become a better person. And it's all because of you!"
His eyes were piercing through her very soul! Mukti on the other hand couldn't comprehend what he was confessing to her.
"Damn it!"
He released her as nothing made sense anymore.
"Damn it. What do you think of yourself? Look what you've done to me. Don't I have any feelings, any emotions?"
Mukti was beyond surprised to witness such strong emotions coming from. His eyes were telling her what he was feeling. Pain and brokenness was visible before her.
"Don't I have the right to show how much you mean to me?"
She felt sudden compassion toward him and had an urge to reach out for him, but was she ready to take such step? Would her heart give permission to do so?
Yet she couldn't control the words which left her mouth.
"You should leave, Prem."
She whispered only to find disappointed eyes staring back at her. It was not her intention to say those words, but her mind couldn't comprehend anything.
She had thousands of thoughts running around in her mind.
Prem slumped back and took a small breathe as he couldn't believe that destiny had played the same cruel game on him.
He didn't give her another glance, before leaving her behind in her apartment.
Mukti stood back with moments flashing before her eyes.
"What I'm saying is... I know I can't ask for forgiveness but all I can ask for is a chance - to rebuild what I've taken for granted."
"Ready to go... Basanti?"
"Don't worry I won't do anything which you're not comfortable with."
"For your information, I'm always a gentleman."
"All these memories in the past years have haunted me every single day. You have no idea how much I want to turn back time and change it all. Change all the mistakes and pain I've caused you and alongside others - but I can't."
"He has changed, Mukti."
"I know you felt something going along to London."
"He loves you, Mukti."
"For the past 4 years I've lived with the thought that I would never see you again. In those years I've heard your words haunt me every single night. Every minute, every second I've tried myself to become a better person. And it's all because of you!"
Was she really ready to take the step again? Was it all true what she had witnessed while being here? Was it love she saw in his eyes?
"Don't I have the right to show how much you mean to me?"
There were so many questions which left her confused on what to do. She took a breath and hoped she would find a way to find her answer she was looking for.
--------
A few days later:
Nor Mukti or Prem had approached each other since the incident. She hadn't been at the Bajaj house either as she couldn't make herself face him. Therefore, she kept herself busy with her work.
It was afternoon when she had been looking through a few files to complete her work schedule.
She stood up from the couch and went toward the kitchen where she placed her empty mug in the dishwasher. Before she could do anything else, she heard her phone ring from the other room.
She went toward it and pressed the button to see who had called. "Hello?"
"Mukti beta, how are you?"
She recognized the voice immediately. "Choti maa. I'm fine, how about you?"
"I'm fine as well. I haven't seen you for a few days and Rishabh haven't seen you at work either." There was a small pause. "Please don't tell me you're avoiding us?"
"I would never. I've just been busy with things lately." She lied even though she felt terrible about it.
"I understand. Mukti, if I ask you something would you promise me to tell me the truth?"
She furrowed her brows upon the answer. "What is it, Choti maa?"
"Was Prem at your place a few days ago?"
She bit her lip. "It's nothing like that."
"So he was there. That explains the way he's behaving."
There was a long pause from each side of the phone. Mukti was debating heavily if she should tell her about what had happened or not.
"I don't know what to do."
"I know, beta, but I can't tell you what to do. You have to do what you feel is right. I'm sure you'll figure it out once you settle down and think this through. Whatever you settle for, I'm always going to be by your side, remember that."
Mukti nodded as they both said their byes and hanged up. Yet again, she was left alone with her thoughts.
"Mukti.."
She turned around to face him.
"There's no history between us, Prem. There never was nor will it ever happen. The sooner you get this through, the better. For you, for me and for both of us."
the apartment scene reminded me prem mukti's bathroom confrontation coz i was rewatching that scene yesterday on starplayer:)))i loved the chapter..
****
The following week had only left the two souls more confused and bitter about their feelings.
Bejaan Dil Ko Tere Ishq Ne Zinda Kiya
Phir Tere Ishq Ne Hi Is Dil Ko Tabah Kiya
Prem entered his room as the empty feeling started to creep into his body and soul. He made his way toward the bathroom and turned on the light.
He almost wished to turn it off and stay in the dark, cold world. He took a deep breath and looked at himself at the mirror - looking at his own reflection.
He grew tired of seeing the same man over and over again for the past years. How he wished to change his past. The past which still haunted him.
What is this happening to me? Why can't I just let go of the past? Why can't I just let go of her? Why can't I live my life without the haunting memories!?'
He couldn't control his anger, sadness or devotion and without thinking he reached out and smashed the mirror with one fierce punch which caused a huge sound in the house.
Everyone who was seated downstairs got shocked by the sudden sound and looked at each other as if trying to ask what had happened. Prerna got worried and rushed upstairs alongside with the rest of the family.
Prem ignored the pain in his hand that was now bleeding heavily. He kept punching and throwing everything around - Ignoring the red liquor floating on his injured hand.
"Why Mukti? I can't live with this pain anymore. I can't!" Tears flowed down from his brown eyes which he couldn't hide anymore.
Prerna came rushing inside the room and saw her son in a state which she wished she would never have to witness. She tried to reach out but he kept shouting to leave him alone. Mr. Bajaj came forward and tried to calm his son down despite his screams and yells.
Prerna reached out and brought his son into a hug and this time he let her. He closed his eyes as the pain was too much to handle. "Prem calm down. You've got to take hold of yourself." Even tears fell from her eyes as she tried to console him.
Tadap Tadapke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi Hai
Mujhko Saza Di Pyaar Ki Aisa Kya Gunaah Kiya
To Lut Gaye Haan Lut Gaye
To Lut Gaye Hum Teri Mohabbat Mein
The younger ones of the family stood behind helplessly. Sneha wanted desperately to reach out for his brother but she couldn't. She couldn't bear seeing him like this.
They saw a man who perhaps thought that he had everything - money, name and family but not love. It was like he was cursed. Love was not in his favor.
The pieces of the broken mirror lay scattered on the floor - Reflecting the broken man he had become.
After a while they managed to clean the place. Prerna bandaged his hand to stop the bleeding. She couldn't get the blood out of her mind and how much it had hurt him.
She left Prem so he could relax with his own thoughts. They had to give him his own personal space.
Prem's eyes caught something shining on the floor right beside the bathroom door.
Ajab Hai Ishq Yaara
Pal Do Pal Ki Khushiyaan
Gam Ke Khazaane Milte Hain
Milti Hai Tanhaiyaan
Kabhi Aansoon Kabhi Aahein
Kabhi Shikve Kabhi Naalein
He walked closer to the small shining piece and knelt down to the floor where he gently picked it up. He clenched his jaw as he held it in his hand. Feeling as It cut through his skin.
He didn't even notice the pain in his hand as much he felt for Mukti. Somehow her words had hurt him far more than the pain he was feeling at the moment.
Tera Chehra Nazar Aaye
Tera Chehra Nazar Aaye Mujhe Din Ke Ujaalon Mein
Teri Yaadein Tadpayein
Teri Yaadein Tadpayein Raaton Ke Andheron Mein
Tera Chehra Nazar Aaye
He saw her everywhere.
For the past 4 years he couldn't get her out of his mind. It was like she was imprinted into his memory to stay there forever. Whenever he closed his eyes or opened the, she was always standing in front of him.
Machal Machalke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi Hai
Mujhko Saza Di Pyaar Ki Aisa Kya Gunaah Kiya
To Lut Gaye Haan Lut Gaye
To Lut Gaye Hum Teri Mohabbat Mein
He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell, he wanted to let out his frustration, so he placed his hand on his head as his mind couldn't contain anymore of her words. He led out a painful yell as if his mind was going to explode from her countless images.
Somewhere else something similar had taken place.
Warm wind was calmly roaming around in someone's living room. A figure stood still in her thoughts beside the window.
Mukti kept her gaze on the dark street before her but her mind was elsewhere. Looking outside she sighed heavily by the thoughts invading her mind. Thoughts of her life and current state she was in.
She had seen and experienced so much in the past few years - Betrayal, pain, brokenness and Prem. She loved him once but that was years ago, somehow she couldn't get the thought off from her mind.
Agar Mile Khuda To
Poochhoonga Khudaya
Jism Mujhe Deke Mitti Ka
Sheeshay Sa Dil Kyon Banaya
Aur Us Pe Diya Fitrat
Ke Woh Karta Hai Mohabbat
Wah Re Wah Teri Kudrat
She knew what she had gone through with that person. He was the cause of everything. Got her heart broken by him, felt betrayed because of him. She almost had no one to relay on because the situation she had been in with Sharad.
But why did the heart tell her to feel something every time she saw him. Every time she caught a small glimpse at him why did the heart skip a beat?
Wah Re Wah Teri Kudrat Us Pe De Diya Kismat
Kabhi Hai Milan Kabhi Furqat
Kabhi Hai Milan Kabhi Furqat Hai Yehi Kya Vo Mohabbat
Wah Re Wah Teri Kudrat
She swallowed and looked determined in her decision. Those feelings had vanished long time ago. They were dead. She shook her head and knew that she had moved on from Prem's feelings.
Sisak Sisakke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi Hai
Mujhko Saza Di Pyaar Ki Aisa Kya Gunaah Kiya
To Lut Gaye Haan Lut Gaye
To Lut Gaye Hum Teri Mohabbat Mein
Yet she didn't notice the single tear run down her face.
Was she crying? Was she feeling pain at the moment - But why? Weren't those feelings dead like she thought? Did it mean anything at all?
Was she lying to run from the truth which was right in front of her?
-----
One evening Mukti had gone out to take care of a few things in order to decorate her place. She came back home after spending hours in town.
She reached her apartment where she unlocked the door and got inside only to find darkness. She switched on the light in the hallway where she placed a few bags on the floor, when something caught her attention. A different smell filled her senses as she knitted her eyebrows together.
She looked ahead of her and saw a vase lay broken down on the floor. She noticed a few things were scattered around as well. Panic rose within her and knew something was wrong.
She stood still and tried to think what to do. She was about to turn around and reach for her cellphone, but was abruptly pushed forward by a dark figure. A man had his hand over her mouth trying to prevent her from screaming out.
She never got to her phone. She never got the chance to lock the door either.
Mukti's brown eyes showed nothing but fear and shock in them. She tried to break free from his tight grip but it was no use. She couldn't escape or move from his tight arm around her body. He moved closer to her ear where she could feel his hot breath which was making her feel disgusted.
"Now, now pretty woman, don't you dare move or scream or else you wouldn't live for another day! You hear me!"
He released his hand over her mouth as she tried to control her breathing.
"Give me your money right now."
She struggled with his grip and managed to land her heel down on his foot which made him loose his grip. He let out a painful yell which gave her a chance to escape. But no such thing happened.
He gripped her arm and pushed her against the wall where she hit her head.
Pain rose from her head and yet again felt the strong grip against her body. "Let me go, I'll call the police."
"Would you now? Are you sure of that?" He said moving closer to her neck almost in a slow manner.
Painful memories of her past flooded into her mind. Of the time when Sharad had neared her against her will. The tears began to fall from her eyes as she shook from the images flashing before her eyes. It was like she was witnessing the same path all over again.
"The stunt you just pulled will have consequences and..."
Suddenly out of nowhere a knock interrupted the conversation.
"Mukti?"
The man turned his face to the door, "what the?"
For the first time she got relived upon hearing her own name coming from him.
Prem stood outside, choosing his words wisely. He stood staring at the wooden colored door in silence until he finally spoke.
"I know you don't want to talk to me right now, after..." he paused lightly.
"I just need to see you. Once. I..."
The man turned his attention back on her. "Who is he?" he demanded.
"Tell him to go away. Now! If you as much as scream or ask for help, I will end your life right here!"
Mukti remained quiet. He tightened his hold on her. "Say it."
She tried to control her fear and the pain she was feeling. She opened her mouth but only to find her that had dried out. She prayed hard for him to save her - to get away from this nightmare which yet again had stopped at her doorstep.
She swallowed.
"P-Prem, we'll talk tomorrow, alright? I'll call you tomorrow."
Prem however already suspected something was wrong.
"Are you alright in there?" he asked in a concerned voice.
The man tightened his hold, indicating that she should make him leave.
"I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about. Look I-I'll call you tomorrow. I promise."
He responded a few seconds later, which shattered her heart into pieces.
"Okay, I'll leave you alone then."
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