To be or not to be...(continued)
PART 2
After understanding her dilemma; after reading what her eyes held last night, the way she held onto him even as Sid hugged her; Armaan made it a point to talk to Shashank as soon as possible. Shashank who had returned few days back had been really happy seeing Armaan all fit and fine. But something that nobody else knew was he had taken a promise from Armaan to bring old Riddhima back and help her settle in her life. Shashank knew Armaan always wanted Riddhima's happiness and had trusted him on that. SO this time Armaan thought of confronting him straight away and let him know that Riddhima was never going to be happy in this marriage. The night was supposed to be celebrated as suddenly Anjali and Atul had planned on organizing a mini party... a get together. The old gang; new interns; senior doctors and Shashank were all invited. Armaan found it a golden opportunity to talk; as the entire day had been too busy to approach him. Also he had noticed Riddhima had tried her best to talk to him and stop him but he wasn't going to fall for anything this time and thus he avoided her throughout the day!
The party started and everyone was enjoying to the fullest except for Riddhima. Party was arranged at Gupta house but since all the youngsters would get a little uncomfortable so Shashank and Padma stayed a little away and let them have lots of chit chat and fun. Armaan arrived after a while a little unwilling to attend it; but came anyway to have a word with Shashank. Everyone greeted him and soon he tried to approach Shashank but Muskaan and Atul kept him busy with something or the other. Finally having enough he just told them off and went away to Shashank. Padma who was by his side firstly greeted Armaan and hugged him with affection. She was more than happy to see him alright and gave him all her blessings. After all she knew he had always done so much for Riddhima but life had been unfair on his part. Soon Armaan hit the main topic and spoke; "Sir aapse kuch bohot jaroori baat karni thi... Riddhima aur Sid ke baarein mein!" Shashank looked up at him meaningfully and nodded; "Haan kahiye. Aapne vada kiya tha na ki soon things will be fine. Riddhima khush hongi; is rishte ki kadvahat khatam hogi... toh kya aapne unse baat ki?"
Padma looked up at Armaan and smiled thinking even now he was thinking only of her happiness. Somewhere guilt surrounded her but her heart was touched by his kindness.
Armaan bowed down as his words were going to falter Shashank's hopes "Haan maine usse baat ki... aur isi liye aapse kuch kehna chahta tha. Sir I promised that I'll try to bring the old Riddhima back . Uski khushiyan vapas launga main. Par sir I am sorry to say ki aisa hona thoda mushkil hai filhaal."
Shashank and Padma shared a look as he wasn't someone who gave up so easily; "Sir... actually Riddhima se baat karke mujhe kuch baatein realize hui hai. Vo kabhi Sid ke saath khush nahi reh paayegi sir kyunki vo is rishte se..."
"Armaaan..." A slurry voice caught everyone's attention and all heads turned. Stumbling onto things and blinking eyes trying to clear her vision she reached the centre. Riddhima looked tipsy... "Hello guys-ch kaishe ho sab?" Everyone around went quiet as she approached Armaan. Sid who stood in the way made an attempt to stop her; "Riddhima tum theek toh ho?" But as he held her hand in support she looked up at him with a huge frown.
"Main theek hu... bohot achiii hu; tum chodo mujhe; mujhe Armaan she baat kalni hai!" A drunk Riddhima was equal to danger so as soon as she reached him Armaan held her shoulder and called Anjali; "Riddhima tumne sharab pee hai?" He shut his eyes as she shook her head negative; she looked so cute but he refrained himself. "Dekho; hum baat karte hai ok... par abhi nahi; abhi tum Anji ke saath upar kamre mein..."
"Nahiii na... mujhe kahi nahi jana. Mujhe tumshe baat kalni hai..." Armaan looked around as everyone's eyes glued onto her. He did not know how she got drunk; but he would never let her embarrass herself in front of others. And definitely as she was so high; she would utter something that was buried in her heart but Sid and others shouldn't know things this way as that might only hurt them bad. So he made another attempt; "Dekho Riddhima abhi yaha kitna shor hai na; hum kal subah baat karenge shanty se theek hai? Abhi..." She lost her balance trying to stay by his side when Sid held her once again trying to tag her along but too high she pushed him off harshly; "Uff Sid... pleash; pleash mujhe haath mat lagao na. Main baat kal lahi hu apne Almaan she; let me shpeak..." Her words had already pierced his (Sid's) heart deep and caught everyone's attention but he stayed still; "Almaan..." she once again approached Armaan and held his hand but Shashank stepped in this time too embarrassed at her state; "Riddhima ye kya batameeji hai? Jao upar apne kamre main. You need some rest..." Riddhima pouted and folded her hands against her chest; "Nahii; mujhe abhi baat kalni hai! Abhi meansh abhi. Main Armaan ko aaj batana chahti hu ki main usse bohot bohot bohot pyaaa..." *SLAP*
"Bas bohot hua iske aage ek shabd nahi bologi tum..." Shashank had slapped her tightly as she was about to confess her love for Armaan. He couldn't let that happen; there were people around listening and her words would not only humiliate Sid but also her ownself in other's opinion. Riddhima held her cheek; her eyes leaked and she moved towards Armaan. "Mujhe aap kyu maar rahe ho Papa... aapne hi toh kaha hai ki humesha sach bolna chahiye toh? Aap jaante hai na main Armaan se..." Shashank raised his hand once again but Armaan came in his way; Riddhima hid behind him protecting herself and held his arm tight. All the interns were in shock as somewhere they could realize what Ridhhima was attempting to say. That infuriated Shashank while Padma just stood stumped by the situation. Armaan tried to calm Shashank though he spoke up a little harshly as Shashank hit her "Sir bas keejiye please. Vo hosh main nahi hai isi liye kya keh rahi hai nahi jaanti... aap please uspe aise haath mat uthayi..."
He wasn't really liking this but tried to keep his calm and once again turned towards Riddhima as he saw a stunned look on Sid's face. "Riddhima please meri baat suno... just go to your room for now. I'll talk to you later pakka hmm?" He almost pushed her in Anjali's arms and signalled her to take her away but for some reason Anjali just stood still; "Anji upar le jao use please..."
"But I was just..." Anjali had just stared when Riddhima cut her words and came out of her hold harshly! "Chodooo mujheee...Nahi jaungi main kahi bhi. Sab kyun mujhe bhej rahe hai... mujhe tumshe baat karni hai Armaan. Tum bhi meri baat nahi sunoge ab toh main kaha jaungi? Kisse share kalungi apni feelings?"
"Riddhima..." Armaan tried but Riddhima instantly snapped; "Armaaan; pleash aaj mujhe mat roko! Main kab se baat karna chahti hu tumse; par kar hi nahi paati. Ek baar meri baat shun lo pleashh. I plomish main dubara tumhe nahi tang karungi... " Her eyes shed tears; Armaan had no guts to say no and crush her heart. She looked so hopeful; so much in need; in pain that he just couldn't stop her. But he wished he did as the next moment she leaned ahead and her head rested over his chest; "I need your help Armaan... pleashhh help me. Main bohot badiii problem main fash gayi hu. Meri madat kardo. Tum toh humesha sabki help karte ho na!" She raised her head and stared into his eyes smiling deeply at him; "Sab gadbad ho gayi hai Armaan. Samajh hi nahi aata ab kya karu. Sabko lagta hai ki sab theek hai; par sach koi nahi jaanta. Sivaai mere... aur tumhare. In sab ko toh pata hi nahi ki main aaj bhi sirf tum..." Shashank approached her again but this time she held Armaan's arm tight and stood firm; "Nahii... aap kyun humesha mujhe Armaan she alag kalna chahte ho. Samjhte hi nahi ki main nahi reh shakti Almaan ke bina. Main Armaan ko kahi nahi jane dungi; aur khud bhi aapke saath kahi nahi chalungi." She looked up at Sid once and turned her gaze back to Shashank; "Sid bohot acha ladka hai Papa; he's a very nish boy... par main usse pyaar nahi karti!" Armaan shut his eyes in regret; he could absolutely judge what Sid must have felt at the moment but things had already slipped out of hand. She had already spoken enough.
"Armaan tum kuch bolte kyu nahi... batao na inhe ki main toh sirf tumhari hu na. Ohh haan... par ab toh main Sid ki wife ban gayi hu; toh mujhe ye rishta nibhana padega na!" Slowly she detangled her arm with a huge pout but soon fisted Armaan's shirt; "Par Armaan ye meri galti nahi hai! Main is rishte se koi bewafai nahi karna chahti; lekin wafa kar hi nahi paa rahi. Tumhe nahi bhula sakti main Armaan... I seriously tried a lot. Maine toh Sid ki har baat bhi maani; tumse bhi dur rahi; par koi faayda nahi. Tumhe pata hai main toh ye shaadi karna bhi nahi chahti thi... I was waiting for you Armaan; aur zindagi bhar rukne ke liye tayyar thi. Par ye Sid mujhse badla lena chahta tha na; aur us chakkar main sab gadbad ho gaya... Shaadi ke din bhi I tried ki main kabhi is rishte mein na phasu; you know maine..."
Armaan had opened his mouth to retort but she chuckled at her stupid words and continued; "Aley... tumhe kaise pata hoga tum toh yaha the hi nahi! Stupid me... I'll tell you; is shaadi se bachne ke liye na maine... " she looked around from the corner of her eyes and called him closer; he bent down slowly trying to keep her talks limited to him; "Shhh... kisiko batana mat; secret hai hmm? Maine na us din thoda sha..." she dragged him down and whispered in his ear though she wasn't very low; "thoda sha zeher kha liya tha." Armaan stoned; his hands numbed while his heart missed a few beats. His head snapped up at her and a small tear slowly trickled down his eye. Shashank and Padma who stood right next to him were also stunned. Everybody around gasped at her words while Sid shut his eyes in pain. Truth was far away from whatever he was living past so many days. Riddhima cleared the lone tear from his face though her own tears streamed down;
"Tum mat ro na pleash Armaan. Ab main theek hu... Sid ne bacha liya tha mujhe. Par fir mujhe usse shadi kalni padi na. Ab usne meri jaan bachayi; how can I not accept this marriage? Aur shaadi ke baad sab badal gaya. Maine tumhe kho diya... humesha ke liye. Mujhe ab ye rishta nibhana padega na. Sid ne itna kuch kiya mere liye; aur tum jaante ho na Papa ne bhi kitna kuch kiya hai mere liye. Toh I can't choose you; mujhe tumhe bhulna hoga. Yahi rule hai... mujhe usike saath rehna padega jisse meli shaadi hui. Meri marzi; mera pyaar jo bhi ho... mujhe Sid se hi rishta nibhana padega. Par tum ro mat; tumhe mujhse bohot achi ladki mil jayegi. Tum toh kitnee ache ho; main tumhe derserve bhi nahi karti shayad; ishi liye bhagwan ne bhi hume alag kar diya. Tum mujhse... yaha khade har insaan se bohot jyaada ache ho. Hum mein se koi tumhe deserve nahi karta. Sab selfish hai yaha; tumhari tarah koi nahi hai. Dekho na; tum sab ke liye sochte ho humesha. Sabko unka pyaar dilaya hai tumne. Muskaan aur Rahul ko milane ki koshish ki; Dr.Keerti aur Shubhankar sir ki help ki; Atul ko himmat di baat karne ki; ye...ye Sid hai na uske bhai Abhi ko... use bhi Nikki se milwaya; tum toh us Abhi ko pasand nahi karte the fir bhi. Aur toh aur agar tumne sab planning nahi ki hoti toh aaj... Papa aur Padma Mom bhi saath nahi hote. Unki shaadi bhi tumne karvayi Armaan. Sabke baarein main socha tumne; par tumhare baarein mein koi nahi sochta! Par itna sab karne ke baad bhi; jab humari shaadi ki baat aayi... toh sab tumse ruth gaye the. Ab bhi tumhari baat ka sab galat matlab nikalenge Armaan; tum kishi se kuch mat kaho. Yaha koi tumhe nahi samjhta. Tum na bhul jao mujhe; main theek hu... mujhe aadat ho jaayegi is life ki. Aur na tumhare liye bhi main koi ladki dhundungi; jo tumhe deserve karti ho... jo bilkul vaisi ho jaise tum chahte ho; uska dil bohot bada ho; aur... aur na use basketball khelna aata ho. Main dhundungi aisi koi... tum... tum..."
Her speech ended as she lost her conscious and collapsed in his arms. Everybody was stunned by her words. Not only had she revealed so many truths but also made everyone think over all the happenings once again.
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Riddhima was taken up to her room while everybody else was in a state of shock. Armaan was still lost in her words; he was away for those months hoping a better life for her. Never had he thought she would attempt to end her life instead of naming herself to someone else. Anjali who had walked down broke her silence and revealed that she was the one who spiked Riddhima's drink. Before anyone could blame her or; start with their accusations Muskaan and Atul stood by her side. They revealed the truth; the conversation that Armaan and Riddhima had yesterday was witnessed by Muskaan and Anjali. That is when the plan was already set and this get together was just a part of their plan. Anjali approached Shashank and spoke genuinely
"Dad... Riddhima aaj bhi Armaan se bohot pyaar karti hai; aur vo humesha karti rahegi. I know uski shaadi Sid se hui hai par ye rishta teeno ki zindagi barbaad karega. Main bhi Armaan se naaraj thi kyunki uski vajah se Ridzy bohot roi hai; but then I realized ki vo roi thi because she needed Armaan. Armaan agar aapse baat karta toh aap use hi galat samjhte; aur Riddhima bhi apne farz ke rehte sirf Sid ko chunti. Par ye galat hai na Dad. Armaan has really done a lot for her; for all of us; aur is baat se hum inkar nahi kar sakte! Is liye ye mauka tha ki hum uske liye kuch kare."
Muskaan too came ahead and placed her hand over Armaan's shoulder; "Hum jaante hai hero... tu ye sab aise nahi chahta tha. Par tu toh Ridzy ko jaanta hai na; vo hosh mein hoti toh kabhi sach nahi bolti. But she's at her best when she's drunk; is liye usse sach bulvane ka aur koi raasta nahi tha humare paas!" Atul cleared his throat and broke his silence; "Hum jaante hai Sir humne shayad thoda tedha... galat raasta apnaya; par agar isse kuch sahi ho sakta hai. Humare dost ki zindagi sulajh sakti hai; toh ismein bura kya hai?" Shashank shot a look at each one of them while the two guys Armaan ans Sid stayed totally mum. Sid had shattered knowing the truth; though somewhere deep down he knew it all along; but hearing it out loud and clear made it bitter. While Armaan died a hundred deaths all this while; thinking of all that Riddhima was going through and was still ready to die a new death every next day just for her responsibilities. And all of this; because he had made that decision months ago... to leave her; for her happiness! Happiness? He wondered about the word again and again.
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The night had ended and the sun rays hit her room. Her eyes opened to the bright sunlight falling on her while she moaned; her head throbbed bad! Adjusting her vision she sat up and found herself in her own room. For a minute she frowned but slowly as she gained a little conscious last night flashed in front of her eyes. She remembered all that she said and she froze. Anjali who stood by the bedside just kept looking at her; Shashank and Padma entered the room and saw tears streaming down her eyes continuously. Riddhima made an attempt; "Main... vo kal; main nashe mein... mujhe kuch... I am sorry Papa. Mera aisa koi matlab nahi tha; main toh..."
Padma cut her words with a snap; "Toh tum Armaan se pyaar nahi karti ab?"
Ridhhima went completely mum at her question; but Shashank probed her further; "Bolo Riddhima... aapki Maa aapse kuch pooch rahi hai! Armaan ko bhul chuki hai aap? Is shaadi ko; Siddhant ko apna liye hai aapne?" Riddhima turned her face away and wiped her tears; "Maine vo sab... main hosh mein nahi thi. Aap vo sab bhul jaiye... main..."
Padma took her hand and placed it over her head; "Toh kha meri kasam Riddhima ki tu vakai Armaan ko bhul chuki hai. Bol ki tu dil se Siddhant ke saath rehna chahti hai; aur kisi majburi mein ye rishta nahi nibha rahi. Agar ye sab sach hai toh kha meri kasam; meri aankhon mein dekhke bol ye sab!" Riddhima opened her mouth and fished for words but couldn't say much seeing her hand still on Padma's head. She couldn't fake swear on her name. All her damn broke and she sobbed hard hugging Padma tightly while she patted her head; "Hume maaf kar de Riddhima; hum teri haalat samajh hi nahi paaye. Aur kal agar ye sab nahi hota toh tujhe is bojh ko zindagi bhar uthana padta; is samjhaute bhare rishte ko zindagi bhar nibhana padta." Shashank held her hand and made her face him; "Aapne mujhe sabki nazron mein sharminda kar diya Riddhima. Ye rishta aap nibhati rahi mere ehsaan chukane ke liye; kyunki maine aapke liye itna kuch kiya! Aisa karke aapne mujhe bohot hurt kiya Riddhima. Ye shaadi... is rishte se aapki zindagi sawar jayegi ye sochkar faisla liya tha humne Riddhima; par hum kya jaante the ki aap toh har din ismein ghut rahi hai. Itni badi ho gayi aap ki itna bada faisla le liye khudse; itna bada sacrifice kar liya aapne!"
Riddhima spoke between her sobs; "Nahi Papa... main toh..." but Shashank shook his head; "Shayad galti humari hi hai. Sab kuch jaankar bhi humne ye shaadi hone di. Mujhe shayad Armaan ko usi din rok lena chahiye tha; jab vo apni buri haalat ke kaaran yaha se jaa raha tha. Mujhe uski treatment ke liye use rokna chahiye tha... par khair us waqt maine ye baat nahi samjhi. Lekin aaj sach sabke saamne hai; aur sab sahi karne ka waqt aa gaya hai. Is liye ab tumhe ye samjhauta nibhane ki jarurat nahi Riddhima. Sirf apni khushiyan chuno... apne pyaar ko chun lo Riddhima."
Riddhima looked up at him surprised "Papa... ye aap kya... Sid..."
Before she could utter her worry he answered; "Siddhant se baat kar li hai maine. Der ho gayi jara si; shayad pehle hi kar leni chahiye thi... par koi baat nahi. Ab sab theek hai; aur Siddhant bhi sach jaanta hai. Shayad hum sab sach jaante the; samjhte the; par apni aankhon par ek patti baandh rakhi thi humne. Siddhant ne khud apni marzi se tumhe aajad kiya hai is rishte se. Vo bhi tumhe Armaan ke saath khush dekhna chahta hai."
"Lekin Papa..." Shashank cut her once again "Nahi Riddhima; aur kuch mat socho. Yahi sahi faisla hai. Vo jaan chuka hai ki is rishte ka koi kal nahi hai! Na is rishte main vo khush reh paayega na tum; aise rishte ka kya faayda? Usne Delhi ke liye transfer le liya hai Riddhima; kyunki vo jaanta hai ki uski maujudki mein tumhare liye ye faisla mushkil hoga. Par tumhe koi guilt na rahe isi liye; apni aur tumhari khushi ke liye usne ye decide kiya hai; aur main bhi isse sehmat hu!"
Siddhant left a letter on her name; it not only stated how he was guilty of purposely turning blind towards the truth; but was also dejected that he had been a barrier for two love birds. He had known it since forever that she loved Armaan and would always love him; but still he had tried to hold onto her. Hold onto this relationship and keep her tied into this marriage. But now that he had finally opened his eyes; he was happily willing to let her go on her way and have her share of happiness. Cause however that he would try; he might keep her along but would never conquer her love and that would be a meaningless life for the two and end of an amazing love story which could be completed; two hearts that can be healed by just one step! And so he had backed away... he stated that he wanted this divorce not only to help her achieve her love; her life Armaan but she surely wasn't the one for him, he knew now... She already belonged to Armaan!
All of a sudden as things settled on it's own; she felt free but somewhere deep down she did feel bad for Sid. She knew he really liked her and wanted this marriage for keeps. He must be shattered while doing so; but wasn't all falling in place now? This was the right thing to do. They never really belonged together; and this step where he had dragged himself away was only a second chance that life gave her. To approach her life; have her love... her life back!
The day went away lost in these thoughts and with the dusk Armaan entered the room and found her face completely tear stricken. They were left alone as it was time they had some serious talks. Anjali gave him a thumps up secretly as she left the room.
Lost in her own world she sat completely mum. Armaan kept observing her for a few minutes and then sighed; "Riddhima... I know ye sab... aise nahi hona chahiye tha... par... ab"
She stood up throwing daggers at him "Ab... Ab kya Armaan Mallik? Tumhe kya lagta hai ab sab theek ho gaya; sabke saamne kuch bol diya maine nashe mein toh tumhe lagta hai sab kuch theek ho jayega? Ab Sid ne bhi ye rishta khatam kar diya so you think ki ab main tumhe apna lungi?!"
Armaan simply fowned at her as all she said was something he was expecting but she made it sound wrong. As though it wasn't something he should be hoping for; "Kya hua Armaan...asie kya dekh rahe ho mujhe? Tum samjhte kya ho khud ko haan? Jab jee mein aaya mujhe chod doge; jab man kare vapas laut aaoge... mujhse maafi maang loge aur main tumhe maaf kar dungi? Main koi khilauna nahi hu Armaan; na ye koi khel hai. Meri zindagi hai ye."
Armaan tried to explain but he was cut short; "Nahi Armaan... mujhe kuch nahi sunna. Tum please chale jao yaha se. Mujhe akela chod do please... I beg of you. Main pehle hi bohot ulajh chuki hu apni zindagi mein; don't mess it more; please chale jao yaha se." Armaan knew her well than to try and explain anything further; so he thought of leaving her alone for a while. He would definitely have a word with her but right now was not the time!
Everything had happened so suddenly; she just couldn't compose herself. Yes she loved him... she still loved him. But it wasn't so easy to come out of a relationship and go back to the previous one. And the biggest insecurity she had at the moment was he would have bad name for himself. People would consider him as the culprit; the third person in her marriage. She could never let that happen. Whatever the situation; she was now a divorcee. So many things; so many names... she couldn't let him suffer once again because of her. He deserved to be happy; to have a life full of happiness and smiles; she couldn't see him taking the blame ever. But she knew he would quietly accept everything and say nothing about anything. That was his love for her; that was her Armaan.
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Edited by arima_mallik - 9 years ago
Veer Hanuman
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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