Many of you must have read it on the blog if not then here it is... And also for those who have already read it lemme tell u guys that there's a continuation to the OS turning it into an SS which I will post soon as it has already turned out so big ki ye OS wala hissa hi mujhe parts mein break karna pada hai*embarrased*. Chalo anyways I hope you guys enjoy reading it!
PREFACE:
OS starts from staircase confrontation scene from Epi. 568; where Armaan is trying to manofy Riddhima by putting up the sorry board and later by writing a sorry hoarding through the bike stunt where she falls in his arms but goes away crying! But here the characterization and past story is little twisted. Here... Armaan returns the very next day of Holi where Siddhant mistreats Riddhima but Riddhima promises herself that she will support Sid because he has lost so much because of this marriage but still been by her side through thick and thin! Everything else remains the same; i.e; the scenes after she meets Armaan as he comes back and Riddhima returns home crying and etc etc...
And yes of course even this scene will have some filterations; the dialogues and stuff so it's not the ditto scene of whatever you saw but a modified replica!
To be or not to be ...
Enoughhh Riddhima; mujhe batao problem kya hai? Mujhse baat karo... ek baar!! Riddhima main vohi hu... tumhara Armaan. Tum mujhe batao toh hua kya hai?
His heart broke into pieces as she cried helplessly. He could only stand and watch; she only pushed him away! His steps backed as she turned away; "Aisa bhi kya hua hai Riddhima jo tumhe mere dekhne se bhi problem hai; mere baat karne se problem hai; mere chune se problem hai? Mere aas paas aane se itna chid kyun rahi ho tum? Batao mujhe?"
He tried to cup her face but she turned away once again!
Main sirf tumhare liye maut ke mu se vapas aaya hu... tumhe is baat ki jarasi bhi khushi nahi?
"Nahiii..." Riddhima finally broke her silence pushing him away; "Kyun Armaan... tum kyun vapas aaye? Ab kyu aaye ho? Kya chahte ho tum? Main tumse dur bhaag rahi hu ye tumse bardasht nahi hota par tum mujhe marne ke liye akela chod gaye the tab? Kabhi mudkar dekha tak nahi tumne ki zinda bhi hu ya mar gayi aur ab..."
Tired of crying; not wanting to face him anymore she just pushed him away;
"Mujhe akela chod do Armaan please..."
Climbing a few steps she tried to escape but he pulled her back pinning her to the wall; "Bas Riddhima. Main samjhta hu tumhari naarajgi; tumhara pyaar... tumhara ghussa. Sab samjhta hu; sab manjur bhi hai!"
Holding her hands he placed them against his chest still intertwined in his hand.
"Par tumhari jubaan aur tumhari aankhein do alag baatein keh rahi hai! Tum chahkar bhi mujhe khudke paas nahi aane de rahi... aur main janna chahta hu ki aakhir kyu? Kya mujhe itna bhi hak..."
Riddhima pushed him away making him stumble; "Nahi... nahi hai tumhe koi hak Armaan Mallik! Kyunki tumhari Basket mar chuki hai. Ab tumhara mujhpar koi hak nahi hai; aur na main tumhari ho sakti hu kyunki... kyunki main..."
Her uncontrollable sobs told him there was something huge she was hiding so he probed; "Kyunki kya Riddhima?"
"Kyunki meri shaadi ho chuki hai Armaan!! I am married... Main ab tumhari amanat nahi rahi. Tumne kho diya mujhe Armaan... kho diya hai tumne apni Basket ko; humesha humesha ke liye!"
His steps faltered; heart stopped... muscles numbed. Her words were too harsh to believe. That could not be true! This was just some horrendous prank... a joke!
"Riddhima ye kya majak hai? Tum jaanti..."
"Kaash... kaash ye majaak hota Armaan; kaash ye sirf ek sapna hota! Par aisa nahi hai. Yahi sach hai Armaan. Tumne humesha sabke saath pranks khele hai; shayad is baar zindagi ne hum dono ke saath ek majaak kiya hai. Kyunki sachai yahi hai ki meri shaadi ho chuki hai... Siddhant Modi mera pati hai! Aur tum chahkar bhi is sach ko nahi badal sakte Armaan. Aur ab ye shaadi... yerishta hi mera scah hai! Main isse nahi bhaag sakti. Tumne lautne mein der kar di... bohot der kardi Armaan..."
Riddhima shut her eyes tight; the noise his broken heart made pierced crystal clear through the silence. Armaan stood frozen... while she was gone! Their first meet; fights; pranks; those token of love; moments of love; the roka ceremony; and their un-official engagement... everything ran in front of his eyes as if watching his whole life in a playback mode. A snap and everything shattered. His steps faltered as he tried to move and he stumbled.
"Nahi... ye kaise..."
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Lost in his own thoughts he headed home. He walked like a living dead but as he entered his room huge posters of her brought him back to reality. Harshly slapped by truth his eyes leaked while he lost his damn. All the things he had access to were shattered into pieces. His hands bleed he didn't care... his head throbbed he gave a damn; his heart broke and he... wished to console it but he couldn't. He had lost her... forever and EVER.
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Riddhima was sailing in the same boat. She locked her room and collapsed in tears. The fact that she had returned back to Sid's house was in itself a mirror to her present. Just 2 days before had she promised her heart; she would save this marriage. Support Sid and be by his side trying to move on with him. But her life had pushed her back and gifted her someone she had been praying for. Irony... she couldn't hold him anymore. He couldn't have her back! Entire night of agony and tears ended and he stood up as the harsh sun hit his eyes. He realized the door bell had been ringing since a while and moved out. The door opened and a little relief washed him seeing Atul standing at his doorstep.
"Champ..."
Atul greeted Armaan with a tight hug and Armaan finally broke down. Atul explained entire situation as to why Riddhima had to marry and Armaan cursed himself to no ends. Had he never gone... his Riddhima would never have had to marry Sid.
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Riddhima tried everything that kept her away from Armaan. Her heart yearned to have one glimpse but she had locked her heart. She was Mrs.Modi and she would remember just that. Armaan was her past and she had to leave him behind. Siddhant got to know of Armaan's return and the first thing he did was approach Riddhima! The fear that her love was back drove him insane. Insecurity slowly seeped in... he couldn't lose Riddhima. Not now. He was completely in love with her; but what about Riddhima? What if she chose Armaan over him... their marriage?
Riddhima sat lost on the bed as he entered;
"Riddhima... I need to talk to you."
Riddhima suddenly got conscious as he entered and sat straight wiping her tears;
"Main jaanta hu... vo laut aaya hai!"
Riddhima's eyes snapped back as he knew about Armaan's arrival;
"Riddhima main jaanta hu ki Holi ke din jo bhi hua galat tha; par maine bhang pee li thi. I was too lost Riddhima... please mujhe maaf kardo. I am really sorry. Main jaanta hu ki ye shaadi jin haalaton mein hui hai; humara rishta kaafi kamjor hai. Par main vakai tumse bohot pyaar karta hu Riddhima; aur main ye shaadi nibhana chahta hu. Aur ye tab tak possible nahi hai jab tak tum mera saath nahi deti! Bolo Riddhima... tum kya chahti ho?"
"Main bas itna jaanti hu Sid... ki ab tum mere pati ho; humari shaadi ho chuki hai. Aur tumhari patni hone ke naate mera ye farz banta hai ki main ye rishta poori imaandari se nibhau! Sach yahi hai ki Armaan mera kal tha; aur tum mera aaj!"
Sid smiled as her words erased his insecurity to an extent;
"Toh iska matlab tum... ye shaadi nahi tutne dogi right?"
After losing Tamanna he did not wish to lose his love once again. He couldn't let that happen to himself. After all she was his wife; though Armaan had returned; situations had changed and he had to face the truth. Riddhima nodded meekly and he hugged her tight out of excitement. But all this while he had completely missed the pain her eyes held. Little did he know that her choice was only biased as she always prioritized responsibilities before anything else! Siddhant was her husband; her responsibility and she had to forget Armaan. That was the right thing to do... but still it did not feel so right. His touch as he hugged her; did not feel so right as it felt with Armaan. But she shut her eyes to all those thoughts. Turned a deaf ear to all those voices building up in her!
"Riddhima main tumhe bohot chahta hu... aur tumhe nahi kho sakta. Aur kyunki tum bhi is rishte ko nibhana chahti ho; toh kya tum please meri ek baat manogi?" Riddhima sat mum letting him finish and nodded her head once again giving in her approval;
"Please Armaan se jitna ho sake dur raho."
Her heart skipped a beat but she gathered herself. Putting on a mask to keep her emotions in check she gave a small smile; "Main jaanta hu tumhare liye thoda mushkil hoga... par agar is shaadi ko nibhana chahti ho toh ek koshish kar hi sakti ho right?"
"Hmm... main ko... koshish karungi!"
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Few days flew by... and they let things settle. Armaan's blood boiled whenever he would see Siddhant with Riddhima; but he could do nothing! The Panchgani incident that Atul told him about made him furious and he wished to turn Sid's life upside down for touching his Basket... but he kept his cool. Because the first person to be blamed was he himself. Had he not left he wouldn't have dared touch Riddhima; ultimately he had only taken a step to save Riddhima. And noticing Siddhanth he had realized he wasn't a bad guy... so Armaan kept his feelings trapped within him. Also as the days passed by he found a great friend in him; they had gelled up pretty well and he could see that the guy was a gem. He was worthy enough to keep HIS Basket happy forever. But still "HIS Basket" term did not change; just that it was under covers now!
Shashank had gone out for medical camp and Kirti had appointed Armaan as the resident doctor. While assigning duties he made sure that he had a duty completely away from Riddhima. Even he needed time to let the truth settle into his system. But this certain case which had cropped up last night; needed severe attention and someone with great experience. Leaving their personal issues aside for a while Riddhima and Armaan started working on the case like earlier times. Last two days Riddhima had been observing him from far as her heart just couldn't give up. She could see the smile completely erased away from his lips. Right now as they sat together after a long time Armaan noticed she had turned weak and a bit pale; but he decided to keep his thoughts to himself.
"Toh I think we can schedule the surgery tomorrow morning. Unke baki ke reports bhi sham tak aa jayenge!"
"Haan... that seems alright!"
That was about it... she just answered in monosyllables. Everything turned so akward; they felt hard to breath anymore so Armaan finally thought of breaking the ice.
"Nahi... bas ab ye aur nahi hoga mujhse."
"Huh?" Riddhima finally looked up at as he took a deep breath.
"Bask... I mean Riddhima I know haalat kaafi badal chuke hai humare beech par iska ye matlab toh nahi ki hum dono aam logon ki tarah baat bhi nahi kar sakte. Hum dono yahi hai... roz milenge ek dusre se saamna hoga; aur aise hum nahi jee payenge. Toh let's atleast try to get normal. Purani baton ki jitna yaad karenge utni hi chot pohochega so let's start afresh..."
Putting his hand forward he introduced himself;
"Armaan... Dr.Armaan Mallik; yaha ka senior doctor. Aapse milke khushi hui Dr.Riddhima Gup... umm... aur aapko?"
Riddhima smiled weakly but from her heart seeing a glimpse of her old Armaan. She shook hands with him... that was a mistake. He looked up at her as she shivered feeling his touch; just like before. Something flickered through her eyes; but before he could read it was masked. The forever interrupter wasn't something that changed; and there was an announcement for Riddhima. She freed her hand and ran away as if escaping his touch. It crushed his heart but left him in thoughts... deep thoughts. Something wasn't correct.
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Armaan started the routine briefing session when Shubhankar interrupted. Assigning the duties he approached Shubhankar who informed him about the case he and Riddhima were working on; "Armaan... Mr.Jaiswal ko Advil kisne prescribe ki thi? Heart patient hai vo... aapne itni badi laparvahi kaise kar di? Vo toh acha hua Keerti ko pata chale isse pehle maine..."
"Advil? Nahi toh... sir I know ki vo heart patient hai fir main kyun aisi galti karunga? Aur mere alawa sirf Riddhima kaam kar rahi hai is case pe; vo toh aisi laparvahi kar hi nahi sakti!"
Shubhankar frowned as whatever Armaan said was quite sensible; "Par fir ye..."
Riddhima just happened to pass by so Shubhankar stopped her; "Riddhima Mr.Jaiswal ko ye Advil kisne prescribe ki...any idea?"
"Haan vo maine hi ki thi... kyu kya hua?"
Both Armaan and Shubhankar shared a look totally dumbstruck as she replied back so casually; "Vo surgery ke baad unhe thodi takleef ho rahi thi toh..."
Armaan cut her words trying to make her realize the blunder she had caused;
"Riddhima Mr.Jaiswal heart patient hai! Vo Advil nahi kha sakte... tum ye kaise bhul gayi?"
Riddhima's eyes widened as all of a sudden things dawned upon her. Her eyes filled with guilt and a sheer line of tears. Quickly apologizing she ran towards the fire escape leaving Armaan completely bewildered. Armaan without fail requested Shubhankar to not let Dr.Keerti know about this and Shubhankar agreed as the patient was all okay now and knowing Riddhima was one of the best doctors and must have committed the mistake under stress. Needless to say Armaan had followed her to the fire escape and found her sitting down at the last step unaware of his presence. A little in a dilemma he stood at the door whether to approach her but as he heard her, his steps automatically dragged him towards her; "Main ye sab kya kar rahi hu... meri vajah se aaj ek patient ki jaan khatre mein ho sakti thi. Agar Dr.Shubhankar waqt pe vo prescription nahi dekhte toh..." There was no way he could miss the the trembles in her voice and stepped down.
"Riddhima?" His heart felt a deep pierce as her face was totally tear-stricken. Eyes pure blood red and her face pale than ever. He had just settled next to her when an emotionally drained Riddhima held his hand in a strong grip. She broke down intertwining their hands. He remembered her first weak moment; Vijay's death when she had reacted in a similar way. "Main aisa kaise kar sakti hu Armaan... maine... maine dekho na kya kar diya..."
Armaan knew she had committed a huge blunder but he tried to console her as he knew she must already be cursing herself badly. He had a mini debate with himself but seeing her state finally decided to rub her back to calm her. Caressing her palm that was still in his hold he rubbed her back soothing her; "Kya hua Riddhima... tum aise; I know galti ho gayi tumse par everything is under control so..."
Riddhima looked up at him totally guilty; "Par galti toh ho gayi hai na! Mujhe dhyaan rakhna chahiye tha. Unki zindagi ka sawal hai; koi majak toh nahi hai." Armaan raised his hand to cup her cheek which was such a basic for him sometime ago but refrained his heart and dragged back; "Baat kuch aur hai Riddhima; main jaanta hu. Itna toh samjhta hi hu main ki tum jaroor guilty ho; par tumhare aanson kuch aur hi bata rahe hai mujhe. Aakhir problem kya hai? Dekho jo hua use bhul jao; khud ko jyaada kosna mat; Shubhankar sir ne Mr.Jaiswal ko check kar liya hai and he's doing alright. Is baarein mein itna mat socho; theek hai? Tum bhi ek insaan ho, galti ho sakti hai tumse bhi right?"
She suddenly turned towards him and he could read helplessness in her eyes. He couldn't stop himself anymore; "Kya baat hai Riddhima? Kya hua hai... kis baat se itni pareshaan ho? Aur tumhari tabiyat theek hai na... tum bohot khoyi khoyi si ho. Koi tension hai... hmm?"
The concern that his eyes hels was irresistible! Forgetting everything around she tried to fish for some words. Seeing Armaan right in front; her heart tried to lighten it's burden by sharing her grief; "Armaan main... main..."
"Haan Riddhima... bolo na main sun raha hu; kya hua hai?"
"Armaan ... mujhe... mujhse ye sab...nahi..." She so needed that shoulder to cry on; to let her heart out but her conscience reminded her of the truth. She wiped her tears but still wasn't satisfied; her eyes held something which for a change he wasn't able to decipher. "Tum theek ho na Riddhima? Koi problem hai toh mujhe batao; main tumhara dost hu... I can help..."
"Mujhe chalna chahiye Armaan... meri duty ka waqt ho gaya hai." She suddenly pulled her hand away turning her gaze and turned indifferent. He was surprised at her sudden dismissal "Mu...mujhe jana padega..."Saying just that much she left; she did not thank him, did not look back did not smile. She just went away quietly! This wasn't the Riddhima he knew. He could understand if she had changed a bit and not behaved like his Basket anymore as she belonged to someone else willingly/unwillingly. But it wasn't just that much... something was eating her up from inside. And seeing that he couldn't sit calm.
Riddhima on the other hand stepped out and saw Siddhant standing in front of her. "Riddhima tum kaha chali gayi thi... vo Dr.Shaubhankar kya keh rahe the?"
"Ek galti ho gayi thi prescription mein. Toh vohi..."
Siddhant frowned as both of them were seniors to make such a mistake; and as far as he knew Riddhima she was always very much dedicated so she couldn't commit such carelessness. Just then Armaan too arrived and greeted Siddhant. "Hey Armaan...I hope sab theek hai? Galti ho jaati hai koi baat nahi; I am sure tumne handle bhi kar liya hoga situation ko!" Armaan looked at him surprised as he realized he had taken it as his mistake but did not bother correcting him; "Haan vo Shubhankar sir ne change kar diya prescription so it's all fine now."
Riddhima thought of leaving them alone since even Sid had asked her to stay away from Armaan and as a dutiful wife she had to oblige. So she had just taken a step away but their conversation caught her attention and she came back; "Ek minute Sid tum Armaan ko kyu samjha rahe ho? Galti toh mujhse hui hai..."
Siddhant looked a little baffled as it was difficult to believe she had done some carelessness regarding her patient. He instantly apologized to Armaan; "Ohh I am sorry vo mujhe laga..."
Riddhima cut him even before Armaan could utter a word; "Pehle confirm karna chahiye na Sid. Aise hi kaise iljaam laga diya tumne Armaan pe; vo bhi us galti ka jo maine ki hai."
Armaan and Sid both saw her getting hyper so Armaan thought of butting in; "It's alright Riddhima; ab toh sab theek hai na toh yu bina baat ki behes kyu? It's okay Sid and don't worry sab kuch handle ho chuka hai." Armaan looked up at Riddhima seeing her getting hyper but meeting his gaze just once; she went away masking up certain things which he was now keen to know!
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After that incident Armaan had been noticing that Riddhima avoided him. And somewhere that was a nice choice she made as the more they met the more hurt they would get. But lately she had started looking too lost. And he made it a point to go to the roots of their relationship. Because if she really wanted this marriage and was willing to let Armaan go; then why wasn't she happy. There had to be some reason. After a long tiring day he sat in the cafeteria thinking of how to find things out as talking to her directly was no option. He sipped his coffee lost in his own thoughts when Muskaan and Atul entered and sat by his side. "Hey Armaan yaha akela kyun baitha hai?"
Armaan smiled at them; "Kuch nahi yaar itna kaam tha aaj; bas abhi free hua toh yaha aake baith gaya. Thodi shaanti toh milegi yaha." Muskaan who too had taken Armaan left and right as she met him was now busy chatting with him trying to remember their old days. The three long lost friends got some time to catch up. Soon enough interns; Naina, Yuvraj, JP, Sunaina and Sid too entered. Seeing everybody here except Riddhima he thought of asking but then it might not look correct so he kept shut. But she entered soon and approached Sid; "Sid chalo ghar chale please; mera sir thoda dard kar raha hai!"
Everyone greeted her while Armaan became restless as she looked too tired and unwell. But Atul and Naina started requesting her to join in as they were having so much fun after a long time so she gave in. But Armaan could clearly see that she needed some rest so he made an attempt; "Chalo guys kaafi late ho gaya hai; kal subah duties pe bhi aana hai toh it's better we get going." Riddhima understood his act but did not bother to look up. Others really wanted to stay back and so Siddhant tried to stop Armaan while Riddhima stayed mum. "Armaan ruk jao na thodi der; itne waqt baad toh time mila hai saath baithne ka so..." He raised his hand to make Armaan sit back but it hit the mug on the table and Riddhima who sat to his other side had it spilled all over her hand. "Ouch... "
Armaan tried to reach out seeing her in pain but stopped himself seeing Sid by her side. "I am sorry Riddhima vo galti se..." He took her hand and tried to caress it. Armaan just stood by his side fisting his palm trying to be in control but suddenly he noticed something and he looked up at her. He was shocked beyond his wits... how could he have missed it all this while! Her right hand ring finger was clad with that elegant ring he very well remembered as he was the one who made her wear it. That day when their life had changed. It was their mark of love and she still had it on her. That is when suddenly things struck him. She never wore her wedding chain; her parted hair never filled with vermillion. But she always loved those marks of being a married woman didn't she always used to say that. He remembered all of it pretty well. She used to be so happy when they would have this discussion about after marriage changes and this was a prime one on the list. Lost in all the turmoil in past days he had never noticed these things. But all of these facts stated whatever she told him was a lie. She did not WANT this marriage; but she HAD to follow it. As far as he remembered she never said she loved Sid. He was just a responsibility for her. And the ring quite much gave away the fact that she did not wish to forget him; she had just trapped his memories into a corner of her heart; not forgotten him. It only meant that she still loved him! Though the situation in which she got married made him realize long back that it was against her will; but he thought that she wanted to have this marriage for keeps. Being a traditional girl that she was; he considered whatever she was saying was true; but it was just a burden she had accepted to carry along. She wasn't really into the relationship; but had tied herself to it forcefully.
Sid held her hand once again trying to comfort her; but another emotion that Armaan's eyes caught all of a sudden was her discomfort. As soon as Sid had held her she turned too conscious; so uncomfortable that she had delicately moved out of his hold not making it obvious. But Armaan had read her clearly. Oblivious to him Anjali who had just entered and stood by her side had also noticed it. So to help her little sister out of the situation she held Riddhima; "Ridzy chal thande paani se wash kar le haath varna takleef hogi."
Riddhima noded her head but told her away "Di it's okay; vaise bhi coffee itni garam nahi thi. Main bas haath dhokar aati hu; I am fine aap sab baithiye. Aur Sid tum bhi ruk jao sabke saath main bas abhi aati hu."
Riddhima escaped everyone's gaze not knowing that she had let out many things to Armaan already without saying a word. Armaan quietly moved out bidding adieu putting forward his tiredness as an excuse. Riddhima washed her hand and turned to go when she found Armaan standing right in front.
"Toh... kaafi khush ho tum nahi? Ye shaadi... ye rishta; is sabse. Sid bohot acha ladka hai; humesha khush rakhega tumhe hain na?"
Riddhima gave a quizzical look as all of a sudden he questioned her. "Ye sab kya bol rahe ho tum? And please abhi mujhe koi baat nahi karni Armaan I am too tired..." She gasped as he pushed her back and pinned her to the wall staring down deep in her eyes. "Armaan ye kya kar rahe ho tum. Pagal ho gaye ho?" He did not budge however hard she tried to move away; he stood still so she snapped; "Ye galat hai Armaan... chodo mujhe; I said leave me!! Dur raho mujhse; tumhe koi hak nahi mujhe aise..."
Armaan bend down dangerously close and stated as a matter of fact; "Toh jise hak hai uske chune se itni bechain kaise ho gayi tum Riddhima? Tumhe lagta hai main andha hu... main kuch samajhta nahi?!"
"Ye... ye kya keh rahe ho tum? Kya samjhte ho tum?" Riddhima spoke in a shattered voice as his proximity was already affecting her and his questioning eyes made her feel trapped. She had so much hidden in herself; she was scared that he might read her masked secrets. But maybe the damage was already done. She tried her best to hide her gaze but he held her chin; "Mujhse ek baar nazre milakar kaho ki tum ye rishta apni marji se nibha rahi ho. Ki tum chahti ho Sid ke saath rehna; aur mujhe bhul chuki ho. Bolo ki tumhare dil mein mere liye koi feelings nahi bachi?"
"Armaan ch... chodo mujhe. Tum... ye sab kya bol rahe ho. Aur haan... main ye shaadi... nibhaungi; humesha! Main is shaadi ko tutne nahi..." Though she had uttered the words but never met his gaze. He cut her this time a little angry at her stupid decision; "Bas karo Riddhima. Jaanti bhi ho kya kar rahi ho tum? Ye kya bana liya hai khudko tumne. Apni zindagi ke saath aisa ghinauna majak kyun kar rahi ho tum? Sid ko ye jhute sapne kyun dikha rahi ho? Jab tum achi tarah jaanti ho ki tum kabhi uski ho hi nahi sakti!!"
"Aur tum ye sab kyu keh rahe ho? Tum jaante kya ho humare rishte ke baarein mein. Main jo hu; jaisi hu theek hu. Khush hu aur..."
"Ohh really? In that case..." He pulled her hand up and she gasped hard realizing how she had missed onto such a big thing; "Please explain... ye ab tak tumhari ungli mein kyu hai? Agar vakai is rishte ko poori tarah nibhana chahti ho toh ise ab tak utara kyun nahi tumne?" She pulled her hand down hiding it away and tried to defend "Vo... ye maine..."
Yes she never felt the need to remove the ring... it always made her feel close to him; secure and she had no guts to separate it. Just a small circular metal but had uncountable emotions attached!
He knew she did not have anything to say so he continued; "Na mangalsutra pehenti ho; na sindoor lagati ho. Ye sab toh tumhe bohot acha lagta tha na Riddhima. Toh ab ye suhaag ki nishaaniyan kyun nahi apnati tum? Tumhare aankhon se hasi kyun nahi jhalakti? Kyun hasna bhul chuki ho tum? Agar Sid ke saath rehna chahti ho; ise hi apna naseeb maan chuki ho toh tumhari aankhon mein humesha dard kyun nazar aata hai mujhe? Kyun aaj jab usne tumhe chua toh itni uncomfortable ho gayi tum? Use toh hak hai tumhe chune ka; pati hai na vo tumhara. Toh tum kyun usse aise hich kicha rahi ho? Mere chune par toh tumhari aankhon mein vo discomfort dikhai nahi deta mujhe. Toh agar mujhe bhul chuki ho; fir kyun aaj bhi mere ek ehsaas se tumhara badan kaanp utha hai Riddhima? Kyun? "
Riddhima pushed him away hard "Shut up Armaan just shut up! Koi farak nahi padta in saari baton se; in saari baton se badkar ye sach hai ki main Sid ki biwi hu! Main ab uski amanat hu aur tumhari in baton se koi matlab nahi mera."
Armaan pulled her back hard as she moved away; "Tum pagal ho gayi ho Riddhima? Jaanti bhi ho kya karne ja rahi ho tum? Ye galat hai; tum apne saath saath Sid ki bhi zindagi barbaad kar rahi ho. Jis insaan ke aas paas hone par itni bechain ho rahi ho; uske saath zindagi kaise bitaogi?"
Riddhima snapped pushing him away once again. Her eyes started shedding continuous tears but she maintained her voice; "Ye tumhari problem nahi hai Armaan. Vaise bhi tum kaun hote ho ye sawaal karne wale. Tab kaha the jab ye sab poochne ka hak tha tumhara. Tab kya jab meri zindagi barbaad karke gayab ho chuke the? Jab main tumhare liye ro rahi thi... tadap rahi thi; ab kyun..."
Armaan cupped her face and brought her dangerously close till their noses brushed shutting her up completely; "Agar mujhse naaraj ho toh mujhe saja do. Mujhse baat mat karo; par khud ko aisi saja kyun de rahi ho? Ye samjhaute ki zindagi kyun jeena chahti ho? Itne din sab chup chap dekhta raha kyunki maine socha tum is rishte ko nibhana chahti ho; par ye tumhari chahat nahi majboori hai Riddhima. Aisa mat karo. Chaho toh mujhse ruth hi jao; jitna man kare ghussa nikal lo mujhpe main uff tak nahi karunga; par is rishte mein khud ko ulajh ke kho mat jao!"
Riddhima for once broke down crying hysterically. There was nothing more left to mask. He had read her inside out; he always did. What more could she fake? She held his collar and spat out frustrated at her destiny; "Kyu Armaan kyu? Kyu chodkar chale gaye mujhe tum. Mujhe aise doharahe pe laa kar khada kar diya hai zindagi ne aaj; sirf tum jimmedar ho iske. Chahkar bhi khushi nahi chun sakti main; aur na farz apna nahi paa rahi hu. Main kya karu Armaan; kya karu main ab? Agar us din ek baar mera hath thamb lete tum toh aaj meri zindagi kuch aur hoti. Mera pyaar aur shaadi dono ek hi insaan se hote. Par tumne meri saari zindagi; mere sare sapne sab cheen liya mujhse." Armaan himself had tears running down as she sobbed hard; he caressed her cheek softly "Riddhima meri baat maanlo. Sid ko sach bata do; ye jhuta rishta nibhane ki koi jarurat nahi hai tumhe. Bina vajah khud pe ye bojh mat lo. Agar tum chahti ho toh main khud Sid se baat karta hu; tumhare Papa ko bhi samjha dunga main. Mujhe koi shikwa nahi agar tum mere paas lautkar na aao toh; par is samjhaute bhare rishte se khud ko aajad karo. Main hu tumhare saath; main sab theek karunga."
All of a sudden Riddhima cleared her face and moved away "Nahi tum aisa kuch nahi karoge!"
Armaan instantly questioned "Kyu? Jab tum is rishte se khush hi nahi ho toh..."
"Maine kaha na Armaan tum aisa kuch nahi karoge. Sid mujhse pyaar karta hai; main biwi hu uski. Bohot kuch kiya hai usne mere liye; use dhoka nahi de sakti main."
Armaan snapped back as she got back to being stubborn; "Agar ye rishta... "jhutha" rishta aise hi apne kandhon pe havi hone dogi toh dhoka dogi tum use. Accepted he's a nice guy; he must have done a lot for you doesn't mean is shaadi ko nibhane se you can payback. Jab use pata chalega ki tum usse pyaar nahi karti... bas apne farz poore karne ke liye... majboori mein ye rishta nibha rahi ho socha hai uspe kya beetegi? Pyaar mujhse aur wafa kisi aur se kaise karogi tum; ye nazuk kandhe itna badha bojh nahi utha payenge Riddhima. Meri baat ko..."
Riddhima was too angry on him to understand a word of what he tried to explain; "Armaan mujhe kuch nahi samjhna. Ek rishte ko todna itna aasan nahi hota; aur iske tutne se sirf hum dono nahi aur bhi kai logon par asar padega. Is liye yahi mera aakhri faisla hai aur..."
Armaan pulled her up swiftly through her shoulders; "Toh tum bhi meri ek baat achi tarah sun lo Riddhima; aaj tak bohot baar apni jid mein tumne aise faisle liye hai jinpe sirf pachtai ho. Humare rishte ko accept karne mein tumne itna waqt liya tha I did not say anything; tumhare Papa se is rishte ki baat karne ka waqt aaya tum Sanjeevani ka soch kar baat talti rahi maine us mein bhi tumhara saath diya; par ab nahi! Is baar sawal tumhari poori zindagi ka hai; tumhari khushiyon ka hai. Agar tumhe tumhari purani zindagi; vo khushiyan vapas dilane ke liye mujhe tumhare hi khilaf ladna pada toh main vo bhi karunga. Uske liye agar duniya ki nazron mein main bura banta hu toh vohi sahi. Par is baar main tumhari jid nahi chalne dunga... main Dr.Shashank se baat karke rahunga!" Armaan had walked out on her giving her no chance to say anything ahead.
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Armaan had been trying to talk to Shashank but neither his profession nor his luck gave him the chance. After a heavy duty of long 18 hours Armaan was on his way home already frustrated as he wasn't able to talk to Shashank; Riddhima... he knew wouldn't give in! He had just drove out of Sanjeevani's gate when he saw a silhouette on the dark lonely street and he wouldn't miss it even if he were blind. Yes of course it was Riddhima; clad in a beautiful pink dress walking alone in the dark. Armaan's car took a halt right next to her and she looked up as he came out.
"Riddhima? Tum itni raat ko yaha kya kar rahi ho... aur aise akele raste pe kyun nikli ho; where's your car?"
Though she did not want to face him at the moment but his concern was too pure to ignore; "Armaan meri car repair mein hai and Sid ki duty abhi khatam nahi hui... isi liye auto dhund rahi thi!" Armaan looked around at the calm but dark street and turned back to her; "Dekho raat bohot ho chuki hai aur tumhe is waqt yaha auto milna thoda mushkil hai. Tum chalo main tumhe drop kar deta hu."
"Nahi... it's alright main chali jaungi!"
Armaan shook his head as she continued being stubborn as always; "Riddhima try and understand alright! It's not safe here... meri baat maano main tumhe chod deta hu chalo mere saa..." But she instantly pushed his hand away; "Main tumhare saath kahi nahi chal rahi. Please Armaan leave me alone; main sambhal lungi khud ko; humesha tum nahi hoge mujhe sambhalne... humesha tum nahi the sambhalne!!" She uttered the last bit looking up straight in his eyes and he got the cue; "Is liye it's alright... main chali jaungi. Tumhe chinta karne ki koi jarurat nahi Mr.Mallik!"
Armaan jaws tightened as she chose to be upset over the past things when he was trying to drop her home safe. He attempted to explain but she had already walked away. Armaan banged the bonnet out of anger as she walked away but anyways settled in his car and turned the engine on. Riddhima went near the bus stop and waited for some kind of transportation to arrive. Riddhima frowned as she saw his car pass by. That was something she did not expect; but then she questioned herself; what exactly were her expectations? As he tried to set her free from her marriage she denied; she did not accept his love nor his departure; as he offered a lift she had rejected and now that he had gone away leaving her on that lonely street she was still hurt! That was her situation at the moment; she needed his love but couldn't want it. She loved him but had to stay away.
Sudden commotion snapped her out of her thoughts. Two guys settled on a bike stopped across the road. Obviously their intentions weren't too friendly or positive so she grabbed her bag tighter but kept her face stern not letting her nervousness show. She moved a little far away but knew very well it wasn't of great use. The guys murmured something and getting off the bike approached her and she cursed her luck. She quickly held her cell and first name that crossed her mind was obviously Armaan's; but she as always rejected the thought. She scrolled down the list and tried calling Sid but all in vain. By the time her second call too went unanswered the guys had already reached by her side and she numbed. She quickly turned around and tried to get away as they started commenting but her bag was snatched out of her hand and so was her cell phone. Her eyes turned wider in shock as they blocked her way and one of them held her hand. Riddhima tried to call out for her help but it was pointless as the road was deserted as hell. Her dupatta was snatched away and the guy pulled her closer. She threw her hands trying her best to fight the guy off but he was too strong for her. Loud moans and groans left her mouth as his grip grew tighter; her scalp hurt as he pulled her hair and she screamed out helplessly as he bent in trying to kiss her.
Just as she had thought she had lost everything; lost every hope... HE had arrived as always! All she heard was a loud moan and she was set free. She opened her eyes to a horrendous view; Armaan was hitting the guys black and blue while they cried out in pain. For a minute she relaxed seeing Armaan but as she saw the look in his eyes she pulled him back with all her might trying to stop him. Would she not do so; the guys would for sure have breathed their last in the next few minutes which she couldn't let happen. The first chance that the two jerks found as she pulled him back; they disapperead in thin air!
As they got away he turned towards her and his eyes still held the same amount of fire; but this time for her stubbornness that got her into the situation. She bowed her head in guilt and also for not understanding him once again. How did she even think he would leave her alone in such a situation; she should have already understood that he drove away only to show her that he was gone but he had been watching her quietly from a distance. "Har baat mein jid; kuch samjhti hi nahi na apni jid ke aage. Agar main waqt pe nahi aata..." Seeing her standing quietly as she shivered a little; his anger calmed a bit.Without any blames or further arguments he simply picked her belongings and wrapped her dupatta around her securely. He caressed her palm as it had a bruise and held it delicately; "It's aright Basket; koi baat nahi. Everything is okay; main hu yaha relax..." His words automatically made her look up and she gripped his hand tight as she suddenly felt so secure. His hold automatically relaxed her and he cleared her lone tear. Just as he thought of consoling her Siddhant reached the spot. He had seen the guys run away and seeing Riddhima's current state he pretty much understood things.
Without giving any further thoughts he approached Riddhima and cupped her cheek asking her if she was alright. Her eyes shifted towards Sid; her mind was divereted but heart was still stuck and so was her hand. Sid took her in a warm side hug but for some reason she couldn't let Armaan's hand go. Sid was here for her; but the secureness she felt under Armaan's slight hold wasn't something she felt with Sid. Unknowingly and unconsciously she still gripped Armaan's hand; but before Sid could notice it; Armaan himself dragged his hand away. As Sid thanked Armaan; Riddhima gained her conscience and fisted her palm tightly. But as she walked away with Sid... she could feel a huge part of herself left behind. What was she thinking; what was she doing? Armaan had saved her and that was about it; nothing more... it was to end just right there. But try how she may her heart did not agree; it still felt a void inside.
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Coming back home Riddhima sat thinking to herself. As she remembered his words of confronting Shashank she became restless. As much as she knew Armaan he could do anything. But she would have to stop him; she did not want to spoil his life once again. It was better he stayed away; because she had only caused him hurt till date is what she believed. And now she wanted him to be a free bird. Let him have his share of happiness which she thought was being away from her. Even if she accepted the truth and broke her marriage; Armaan did not deserve a divorcee. He deserved someone far better. Moreover Sid had really wanted to make this marriage work so she had made her decision. But as she recalled today's incident she couldn't help thinking about Armaan all over again. The more she kept thinking; the more she remembered her time with Armaan. She just couldn't pin point how his single touch had washed away all her worries; his mere presence had felt her feel so secure. Oblivious to her surroundings she was lost in his memories; unaware that Sid was sitting by her side and started applying ointment on her hand. All of a sudden the past memories; the golden days; their sweet nothings; their roka ceremony revolved in her memory and she blushed to herself. Little did she know her husband who sat right in front got some wrong idea and was happy thinking she had started reacting to his touch. In a snap the lights went out and out of fear she shrieked Armaan's name. She hadn't realized as yet the person whose hand she had gripped assuming it to be Armaan's was none other than her husband Siddhant Modi. Much to her luck he hadn't heard her whisper Armaan's name and he got busy consoling Riddhima.
Darkness surrounded them; and she did not need to hide the tears that rolled down. A moment where she had been thinking of letting Armaan go; another moment she had involuntarily called out his name as fear struck her. Was Armaan right when he said she couldn't manage this lie? It was the second time in past few hours that her heart had called him out as she had felt the need of a helping hand; some secureness, care and maybe LOVE...
No!... She instantly thought. She had to keep up with her decision. Siddhant who sensed her shiver had not see her crying due to the darkness and considered she was frightened; so he held her close. Riddhima wanted to pull away... stay far from him but did not dare move a muscle. He was her husband and had every right so she stayed mum. However suffocated she felt she let him hug her and lost in her fragrance; his love blinding him he took it a step further. Her heart screamed as he settled his hands against her back; his lips touched her neck but she sat frozen. Darkness around mattered no more as she shattered from within slowly... part by part. No objection from her side was an approval of his advance and he smiled thinking of her acceptance. He tightened his hold around her but she couldn't take it anymore. Detangling she moved back and placed her hand over his chest to maintain the distance; "Sid please... mujhe... I need some time ; ye sab..." Unhappy he moved away by her sudden interruption but kept his cool. She needed space and he understood so he let her be; Riddhima whispered meekly and made her way to the washroom under the pretext of freshening up "Main abhi aati hu..."
Behind the closed doors she sat on the floor crying her heart out; her skin burning at places he touched. Where she should have been happy having a close moment with her husband she felt suffocated; frustrated on herself she rubbed her neck where his lips made contact. Something died within her. She felt so restless... she jut needed to cry her heart out. To speak to someone; to hear some soothing words; to come out of this horrible feel and her hands automatically gripped the cell phone. Forgetting all rights and wrongs, his number was connected and he picked up.
"Hello?... itni raat ko kaise call kiya everything okay Riddhima? Hello... hello... you there... tum theek ho... hello...??"
Just a few words; his voice increased her set of tears but lightened her heart. She cut the call without any reply; realizing it wasn't the right thing to do but it felt comforting to hear some words from him! Some pure concern and mere letters uttered calmed her heart and all the restlessness. This was one such time when she wanted to express volumes to him and still, not talk to him at the same time.
"Kyun Armaan... kyun main tumhe nahi bhul paati? Kyun is rishte ko apna nahi paa rahi main? Mujhe ye karna hoga; Sid ke saath shaadi hui hai meri. Mujhe apni zimmedari ko apnana hoga; par main kaise karungi ye? Khud ko kisi aur ko kaise saup du; jab main khudki rahi hi nahi. Pehle hi tumhari ho chuki hu Armaan; ab is dil ko vapas kaha se lau jo tumpe pehle hi haar chuki hu?" She cried over her fate... trying to keep her decision and forcing herself to erase every memory of Armaan out of her system. Tears wiped; memories shut and she sent a message saying the call was a mistake... a co-incidental mistake. Her message itself let him know that she needed him the most at the moment but just did not want to express it!
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