Submerged! - ArShi FF:New note P.No 132

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InspiredSoul

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Posted: 11 years ago

#101

Originally posted by: div26
Amazing start IS 😊
Can't wait to know how it will unfold from here. Initially, I thought that Arnav is the one who is ill and she is taking care of him and I got scared, lol.. but brilliant start 👏
Will be waiting for the next one!

Originally posted by: div26
Seriously, I can no longer wait to know how it is going to go from here. Brilliant idea 😊
Very nice description of the business and Akash and Aman.
Love the fact that you thought of having Dhruv in the story and I love Arnav ❤️

Div, thank you for staying with my story and encouraging me with your comments!

Hope you like Part 2! I apologize for taking time to catch up with replying to comments. I will be more regular with my posts and replies from this week. 😊

- IS

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InspiredSoul

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Posted: 11 years ago

#102

Originally posted by: SarunNArshi
Read the character sketch.Its very interesting,Plz do PM me when ur Part 1 is updated and a smaaall request.
Plz make Khushi cal ASR as 'Arnavji' and not 'Arnav'.Ji adds some mesmerising effect😳😳😳

Originally posted by: SarunNArshi
Sure😊DO POST ur Part 2 on Wednesday without fail.
pLLLZzZ😳

SarunNArshi, Arnavji it is! 😊

I got late posting Part 2, but Part 3 will be on time, I promise!

- IS

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InspiredSoul

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Posted: 11 years ago

#103

Originally posted by: chavvi16
nothing about dadi it seems
are they in this together
was that aki who khushi is taking care of
well CK sure helps

Originally posted by: chavvi16
Not aki but dhruv
Hmmm good to know about him
Damn khushi can't help him out
Well what with her phone broken
And this dadi keeping eye on him
And khushi too
Has he been kidnapped
But why
And this dadi their dadi
So many questions
Well we will know and soon
Very mysterious but love that
So we have had main characters introduced now
Let the fun begin

Originally posted by: chavvi16
seems that they got him
as in dhruv
his own dadi is doing all this
and for what money
pathetic some people are
seems dhurv is coming outta his drugged state
why else is he looking more alive and reactive to his surrounding
this dadi i tell ya
she is asking for trouble
dont tell me that malliks were trying to pull the wool over raizadas
well they are gonna pay for it
khushi is more astute than these peeps thought
she is good in observing
of course she believed them when they said he had an accident
when nothing could be further than the truth
hope she can help out dhruv
lets see shall we

chavvi16,

I love your comments! There is nothing more exciting and motivating to a writer than an involved and interested reader such as you. Thank you for sticking on to my story, through the twists and turns! The ride will get more exciting, I promise - and next part will be posted on time! 😊

- IS

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InspiredSoul

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Posted: 11 years ago

#104

Originally posted by: crazyforsarun
Lovely Character Sketch
Can't wait for the update!

Originally posted by: crazyforsarun
Awesome update!
but short 😭
anyway *wipes away tears* so back to the story
I love the mysteriousness of this story
in the last update we found out that Akash was the guy on the bed not Arnav. I love the way you add more suspense to the chapter in the end giving us a new twist, a new character, or a shock
What happened to Akash is he sick or did he get kidnapped?
So Akash wants to call Arnav... okay... but why doesn't he want Dadi to know? Now lets see how Khushi helps Akash contact Arnav without letting Dadi know
Who is the new guy Dhruv? does he have anything involved with Akash?
Oh man! There are so many questions that are floating around in my brain.
Lots lots of suspense here!
I loved the update
Can't wait for the next update!
Thanks for the PM!
P.S If this is a OS can you please make it a bit longer *pweez*
No pressure

Originally posted by: crazyforsarun
Wonderful update!
~res~

Thank you for liking the story, and staying with it!

Though I planned on 4-5 parts originally, looks like it may go a little longer than that. But I want to keep the story line crisp, and not drag it. Let's see how it goes. But do give me feedback, I really look forward to that from all of you!

- IS

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InspiredSoul

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Posted: 11 years ago

#105

Originally posted by: stg1
loved the start! and i like that u took me by surprise and the man khushi was looking after was not arnav but maybe akash or a yet unknown entity 😛 now i'm expecting more - clever plotting, evil plans at work, many twists, interesting character interactions, and to be surprised about who is 'good' and who is not! (no pressure btw 😆) liked the character sketches too, and that haunting poem at the beginning - i always equate asr with an iceberg, lets see who or what it refers to here! many congrats on ur first os, am looking forward to seeing where u take it 😃

Originally posted by: stg1
enjoyed part one, nicely set up the story and characters. but yep, interesting twist, now i'm also wondering if it's dhruv that needs rescuing from sheesh mahal or akash 🤓

stg1, the writer in me loves the pressure! Happy to know you liked the poem - me too love the complex layers to ASR's character though he is definitely not cold 😊. The iceberg in my story is representative of the not so visible things that lurk and loom underneath. More will be revealed soon in the next part.

Hope you like the next part too!

- IS

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vandana1965

@vandana1965

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Posted: 11 years ago

#106

so this is the tip of the evil plot concocted by Shyam and dadi ji, and it will be a long process to unravel it. Like the analogy to an iceberg.The plot unearthed so far is just the tip of the iceberg. It is complex and well conceals the tracks of the mastermind. Seems like Dhruv has been kidnapped and is being kept under sedation . The reasons for this have yet to unfold

I am really intrigued. Love your writing style, how you are building these layers of suspense, it almost had me riveted to the seat.

Why did you include Mount Everest ? Are you from Uttarakhand ?

Why not a expedition to an iceberg instead ?

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InspiredSoul

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Posted: 11 years ago

#107

Originally posted by: vandana1965
so this is the tip of the evil plot concocted by Shyam and dadi ji, and it will be a long process to unravel it. Like the analogy to an iceberg.The plot unearthed so far is just the tip of the iceberg. It is complex and well conceals the tracks of the mastermind. Seems like Dhruv has been kidnapped and is being kept under sedation . The reasons for this have yet to unfold
I am really intrigued. Love your writing style, how you are building these layers of suspense, it almost had me riveted to the seat.
Why did you include Mount Everest ? Are you from Uttarakhand ?
Why not a expedition to an iceberg instead ?

Yes, the tip of the iceberg😊

No, I am not from Uttarakhand - I am fascinated by Himalayas, but that's not the reason for including that locale in Submerged! I will reveal my reason after Part 4 😊

Why not an expedition to an iceberg? Too predictable - using it directly as a location would make it approachable, and take away from the mystery of it all!

- IS

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InspiredSoul

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Posted: 11 years ago

#108

Originally posted by: Horizon
very intriguing update IS.

Good to see you shacking the dust out of a forgotten character of the original story, even more interesting khushi is all seem to be fida on him i your story ! :)

Good family dynamics and Bharat, Rama analogies portrayed.

Thanks IS.

Horizon, you made my day! You noticed Ram, Lakshman and Bharat analogy😊

Always wanted Dhruv to make an entry, and hoped for some scenes with all 4 brothers/cousins!

Hope you will have time to read the rest of this story!

Hey, give me some critical feedback - I understand, you may be very busy, but whenever you have some time! 😊

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InspiredSoul

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Posted: 11 years ago

#109

Originally posted by: ArshiHamesha
OK this is getting interesting...
so Dadi is all behind this and for what...money

Hope Dhruv be fine and Khushi is smart she will help him

ArshiH, thank you for taking time to read this story! Feedback, please ... How do you like my portrayal of Khushi so far?

Yes, Khushi is very smart in my story - I love her sanak and pagalpan, and her adorable and sweet persona, I will keep that unchanged.