Through The Looking Glass| ArHi | Ch11Pg1 (14/08) - Page 72

Great update. I really don't know what to say. I am looking forward to reading more.

Hope things get better between them, but yeah Life can get harder

*edit*

I made the insanely stupid decision to read this in public. The Almighty only knows how deranged I probably looked as I read it and by the time I reached Part 11 I was all but running towards my room with my friend laughing behind me, but that comes later.

But seriously.

It's hard to strike that perfect balance you know - hard to craft your characters in such a way that even when their thoughts don't match yours, you find it hard to fault them. But that's what you have done here. You brought out Khushi's emotions in such a way that even though they took me by surprise, I was almost guilty because I hadn't seen it from her point of view as well. No matter what the circumstances, it doesn't change the fact that Arnav has made a very important decision regarding her life - arbitrarily. And it's so ironic that this happens at a stage when they have matching step with step, side by side, until they were in my mind the most perfect couple.

But there's no such thing as perfection, and you proved that wonderfully.

"But could she resent Arnav for it? Knowing fully well that it was only for her security, for her safekeeping that it had been made and announced?

Rationally, no, she couldn't.

But then again when has love been rational?"

B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T. Something so complex summed up so simply. And it's so true. Love is the most irrational thing around, and it must have stung deeply to have her right over her own life taken away by the person she had staked all her hope and all her trust into, even though the situation could not be helped. Because love is just that - irrational, illogical, naive.

Khushi's disjointed behaviour when they got back home literally scared me. I love the change in atmosphere you described - I could literally feel it. And it was so apt, because metaphorically, her life has changed drastically since the last time she had stepped out of her 'home'. Nothing is the same anymore even though everything is the same.

The moment their eyes caught - that moment was so simple but so charged. Like everything unsaid and unasked just piled up between them.

Shyam's joy over his Bhai getting married was so sweet - and yet sad, in an ironic way. There were already cracks showing by the time he left the room, but Shyam, I guess because he has become so accustomed to seeing the 'bigger picture', missed that fact. Because in the end it's all the little things that make up the big things, and if one of those little things begins to break, that makes everything unstable doesn't it? Shyam's joy only highlighted that factor and made me brace myself.

The final Arnav-Khushi scene - ohh the feels. All this time I was afraid of what Maamu-jaan would do to the two of them, all the while assuming that they would stand together and brave it, whether they survived it or not. I never imagined though that Maamu-jaan's action (or inaction) would precipitate something like this. Never expected a wedge would be driven between the two of them at all, and this is so much worse than what I had been anticipating. Their previous rhythm, harmony - it was gone in that scene. Arnav's heartbreak upon seeing her look of betrayal - Palpable.

"He knew what he had done had been hasty...had been violating of the most fundamental basis of the relationship the two of them had come to share - of equality."

I felt simultaneously saddened by this as well as somewhat happy. At least he understood that. At least he understood the toll his decision took on her.

But then this part - "And Khushi would have to understand that." That just made me dread what was to come. They aren't in sync anymore - it's like they are sharing the same thoughts but harbouring different feelings, and each in his/her place is right, but how do you change the other person's mind without slighting their feelings?

And then he turned into the ASR I was so used to seeing on screen and I almost went 'Nooo' out loud in the middle of the foodcourt.

"Sorry par mujhe woh karna para."

"Tumne mujhse ek baar bhi nahiin poochha." - this line made this lump grow in my throat and felt her sense of betrayal.

The dialogues on their own show that friction and it made me so uneasy, but then it grew worse when he grabbed her like that, and for the first time since this story began I saw Arnav's 'darkside' and it terrified me as much as it terrified Khushi, a feeling that did not abate even after he realised what he had done and tried to apologise. Because that doesn't change the fact that it happened - proof that that side exists within him.

And on the other hand, I can't fault Arnav either. He was in a tough position and what he did he only did for her sake. Was that wrong? I can't tell. You've so effectively put me in both Arnav and Khushi's place that my sense of right and wrong is as blurred as theirs is.

Khushi frenzied actions, crying into his chest, pushing him away, breaking down, and Arnav's all but ineffective methods to soothe her were a visual display of the cracks in their relationship - "amenting the loss of a friendship gone wrong, of a love questioned, of an equality lost." And the damning thing is it happened after they had built a relationship both thought to be strong and withstanding - as they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall, and that is just heartbreaking.

My mental dialogue while reading this - "No, no, nooo, Rae, stop, what are you doing, stop it, nooo!!!"

Which is my fault, coz I knew going into this that this was a dark-themed story, and I couldn't read it with rose-tinted glasses. But the reaction alone should tell you how much this chapter affected me emotionally. It was the worst of all blows I've come to receive throughout this fic, and all the more because I wasn't expecting it. I'd thought that, even if Maamu-jaan got to them, they would at least be together, their love would be enough, would not change.

But that was where I was wrong, and it's like my legs were knocked out from beneath me, you know?

You are exceptionally good at moulding readers' emotions to suit the scenario. When I was reading about Khushi's feelings of having her wing's clipped, being caged, a part of me understood her, but another part was a bit sceptical. I thought - Shouldn't you be glad to escape that life? Shouldn't you be glad that someone is here to protect you from the world you wanted to leave in the first place?

But then you mentioned her guilt, and I went from being an outside observer with my own opinions straight into Khushi's head and heart, and I understood her, sympathised with her, just like that. How do you do it?

The inner conflict is so complex yet so profoundly put forward. The comparison between the TV moved from its place and herself was so damn apt I don't even know what to do about it. That's how easy it was - just plucking her out of her life and home without her say, and replacing her elsewhere. That's what her life and her decisions amounted to and I can understand how this would make her feel inconsequential. But at the same time her guilt reminds her that it's because of her importance to someone that she is here, saved, protected. The feelings clash with each other and I feel torn in that conflict myself, so Khushi's plight might be even worse.

Also, you have this knack for creating atmosphere - the scent of the scrubbed floors mingling with that of her henna and of the sweets wound up making me feel rather nauseous as I read it, and it compliments how ill-at-ease I imagine Khushi to be feeling. There's this sense of emptiness around her too, at odds with the fact that the room is so full - all those gifts and mithai and everything seem meaningless when there is no happiness to accompany them.

And that just makes it so sad, because a girl's wedding day is supposed to be the happiest of her life.

Arnav's 'nervous questioning tone', his hesitance - that was heartbreaking (I use that word a lot in my comments nah? It's not my fault - I can't find any other word to describe how it - well - breaks my heart). Their synchronicity is damaged, that previous sweetness in their relationship with the mutual little gestures gone. It's almost like they are strangers getting to know each other and the awkwardness hangs ominously over the scene.

"Things were not the same anymore, no matter how hard they had both tried to bring their old equation back. It seemed to escape their outstretched hands each time they tried to grasp it tight reminding them that some things, some relationships in life required their own sweet time to grow and bloom and when hastened, they could be permanently ruined." - Sums it all up, and there's this dual hope and despair in it - I am hopeful for the first part, hopeful that time will mend some of the cracks, but then again there's that last part and I'm praying they don't push too hard or too fast. I'm an optimist by nature, so yeah...

But you gave even the optimist a beating with their conversation. I was really feeling hopeful again when Khushi mustered her love Arnav, recognising his warmth and tenderness and care and the security he provided, and tried to be honest with him - but in being honest with him she hurt his feelings and the part about the light in his eyes dimming, dear lord that was painful. The most painful thing of all though is the fact that it's come to the point where neither of them can even be fully honest with the other - and that part of their relationship that I'd found so beautiful, the trust, the faith, the mutual regard and the equality - its like the chapter name you chose - a broken mirror. You can't fix the cracks and you can see it on your reflection. Hooo boy...

That single word, 'Contempt' is so powerful. It's horrible to see how hard they have fallen :( And the irony? After wishing Maamu-jaan into the ninth circle of hell repeatedly, it's almost as if he doesn't even feature heavily in their tragedy even though he was the catalyst, and I ask myself if sooner or later, if he had not interfered, would something like this have happened anyway. Nothing keeps me awake at night worse than 'what if'

I'm going to cheat a little bit here and reserve my comments for the second half for the next update - don't hate me! First off I have class in fifteen minutes so I really need to run, and secondly - my feelings, opinions, everything for that bit is so jumbled up and confused I don't quite know how to put it down. My eyes bugged out of my head when I realised the woman was Khushi and I guess my head just can't reconcile the bitter, mocking woman described in that part with the Khushi we've known till now...and then those grey eyes...aahhh my head is spinning with possibilities!! What's going on???!!! The change is so huge and I'm bursting with questions!! Cliffhangers are SO not fair!

There's is a LOT more I'd like to say for both of the previous two updates, but now I really have to go to class :( Sorry!! I might be back again