(Shagun ka post-1001 😛)
CHAPTER 8
Shocked would be an understatement. With his breathe caught, Arnav s' widened eyes fixated their gaze on her face. But this shock did'nt originate because of her proclamation. Had'nt he known that always? Its overwhelming presence when he had kissed her. The surprise was because of her easy acceptance. Vocalizing the words, for someone like him. Somethings when unacknowledged, unspoken are not able to cast its spell with that effect until they are out in the open, laid bare to see, to hear apart from just feel. And this was one such moment. How could she say that? How can someone love him? The dormant hopelessness borne out of insecurity again became active and Arnav was afraid. To take the woman in his arms. To accept the happiness and to let go of the boundations. To think of himself as someone who obviously has the right to love. That there is someone to whom his deformity doesn't bother and doesn't disgust. Its shallow to think like that.
The hurt on her face was there for him to see. The emotion in her eyes beseeched him but the weight settling in his chest was hard to bear. And so he turned away. Maybe that would lessen the pain.? Marching briskly upto his car, he got into it. Closing the door, he leaned his head back on the seat and closed his eyes and tried to calm his nerves but could'nt get her image out of his mind. A lone Khushi with a child like innocence, expectation etched on her face, waiting for him to say something . To turn towards her. His head started throbbing as confusion marred his senses. What did he want? He could'nt face her love. Did'nt deem himself worthy of it. But it was too hard to walk away. Almost torturing. He could'nt see her heart broken. The urge was very strong.,threatening to burst out of him. To rip away any unpleasantness from her life. Could he be so important, so significant that his going back would do that? Bleakness and despair handcuffed him, still. Turning on the ignition,he drove off, without glancing back, the pain in his heart increasing.
**
With myriad of emotions flitting across his face, Khushi mentally prayed with all her fervour that in the blink of an eye,maybe this looming heaviness will wear off and she might get some hope if not the words she craved to hear. Like some invisible divine intervention that would instantly change nature of the situation, warding off the tension. And then she would revel in amazement at how Devi Maiyya changed times. But she felt the strength draining out of her with every step he took. And as the car disappeared from her vision, she did'nt know what to think. Is this how it feels? So claustrophobic. Self-pity. Hot tears blurring her vision, she gave in to the drive and let them be as they rolled off her cheeks.
Someone held her shoulder with a gentle hand and Khushi stopped in her tracks. Turning around slowly, still not able to come out of the experiance of the earlier occurrence, she let the woman come into her unclear sight. His sister,she recalled. And the next thing she knew that was getting pulled into a hug.
**
Show some care and comfort soothingly a distressed person and the dam is bound to break. Lavanya could'nt have been more sure as she ran a hand along Khushi s' hair, patting her head and let her sob, hiccups accompanied. She sighed. This had to happen one day. After all the woman had had taken up to fall in love with her brother-One self pitying soul. And lo! His company, induced the characteristic of self pity in his love interest too. She discreetly let out a soft chuckle at the thought and quickly admonished herself. Looking down at Khushi, she smiled tenderly. She did feel sad for her but the happiness of finally finding someone for her bhai was also overwhelming. When she decided to check on her bhai, it did'nt come by as anything difficult for his ease with himself and everything else around was palpable. Happy, he had been. What she could'nt have deciphered was his quite behaviour since last week. And now she knew the reason. This woman is already her best friend, she decided.
As Khushi calmed down a bit, she looked up at Lavanya. Coming back to her senses, her mind raised an alarm that she might have witnessed what had happened here some time back. 'Does she know that I am in love with her brother?' she thought. Moving away, she teared her eyes away from her and looked anywhere but at her. Before she form any thought to say, she heard Lavanya s'amused voice, " Where is the strength when you are this uneasy to accept it in front of me?"
Not expecting anything such as this, Khushi scrunched her brows and looked back at Lavanya, " Jee?"
Audibly sighing, Lavanya mused that she has much of an agony aunt to play today. She replied, " When you so much love my brother then why the hesitation to look in the face.Be it sister or mother. Its no wrong. But yeah, if you are shy, then it okay. Haq hai tumhara."
Lavanya almost laughed at her comically surprised expression. When Khushi showed no signs of coming out of her statue state, she continued, " Look,It wasn't rocket science to understand. Its written all over your face. And then not to forget your declaration. Lovely, I must say."
Not wanting to embarrass herself more and getting more strained than she already was, Khushi decided that its of no use to hide it. And what was the necessity anyways. Trying hard to gulp down the heavy lump in her throat, she spoke hoarsely, " Par Arnav shayad hamse pyaar nahi karte."
Lavanya s' heart melted at her words. Sobering up,she said, '' And just how do you know that?''
''Did'nt you see? He.. just..he just walked away.''
'' And did'nt you see? Are'nt people in love adept in reading silence? Did he threw away your love? Tried to demean it?''
'' It was equal to that. Walking away as if it meant nothing.''
''Then go after him. Question him. Tell him he needs to give answers. Jerk him. How is wallowing in your woes better than keeping up your self respect?''
Khushi glanced at her questioningly, and stated'' You are trying to make me go to him.''
'' So be it. Khushi, look, you and I both know what it is between both of you. But letting it go off so easily without a tough try wont do. I m sorry, I know ,I'm no one to preach. Or to tell you to you reach out to him when on the other hand my brother just did'nt acknowledge anything. But trust me, m not saying this just because its my brother and I care for him. Its because I wish he gets his chance at happiness, literally. And its only you who could make him realize that. You know why. Neither me nor anyone else. Please be the Akash of Dil Chahta Hai and get your love instead of letting go like Aditya in Jab We Met.''
Khushi did'nt know where the last words of Lavanya came from. She looked at her blankly. Though both were her favourite films, she was'nt in the mood of comedy right now. Though she would'nt deny,it did lighten up her senses. Khushi was'nt someone who needed dependance of such kind where it required making up clear decisions for herself. She was mature and sensible enough to think and do so. But in her bouts of misery of a broken heart, anguish and despondency had clouded her, making her think of nothingness. All that, a conversation with Lavanya did was to clear that up. Lips quirking, she smiled at her gratefully and uttered, '' Thank you, Lavanya ji.''
''Erm..its La, by the way. But its okay. Its your first time..'' pausing a bit, she continued, '' So.?''
Khushi knew she had to follow him and not wanting to waste another second, she asked, '' Where could he possibly leave for in such a weather?''
'' Bhai? Oh don't ask. He did'nt even listen to me. He said he had to go to Kalimpong for some work.''
Panic rose in Khushi as she bellowed,'' Kya?''
Lavanya never registered when the woman bounced away from her, seeming just human sized dash of red, the colour of her salwar suit and then as she watched her race away on her scooty, the ends of her dupatta flapping behind her in the wind, she prayed for Arnav and Khushi, to bring themselves to each other.
**
Khushi, realized it was harder to do than to think. It had already started drizzling when she had left Arnav s' place. But not wanting to delay, she had'nt turned towards her tea house or home for a change to a more safer vehicle. Now struggling to keep her eyes open against the rainfall, that presented a gigantic picture as it poured down onto the curving roads and valleys, all upto the great distances where the mountains stood pompously and beyond, she drove on. Finding a little shed like structure that might have been a stall and must have been abondoned during rain, she brought her vehicle to a halt. Totally drenched, she opened the seat cum diggi and took out her cell phone with a ray of hope only to groan with frustration when it flashed 'No Signal'.
**
Arnav sighed irritatedly at his disappeared mobile network and cursed the rains for the n'th time. Not able to connect anywhere, he sat down resignedly and once again let the images of Khushi sail into his mind. He should have talked to her. Instead of cruelly walking away. A stab of pain again rose in him as he visualized her woebegon face. He mentally noted to meet her as soon as he gets out of this damned situation. It had been nearly half an hour since his car broke down under incessant pelting. Luckily for him, Ghoom, a small town situated on the way was nearby and here he was, sitting on a cot in a room provided to him by the kind inhabitants of the locality around,mostly families of tea pickers, who were ecstatic to serve their sahab.,as he waited for some dry clothes to arrive. How he wished for Khushi s' cup of tea right now.
**
'Devi Maiyya,thank you.', Khushi mentally chanted as she caught sight of his car, standing near the rocky slope. But soon the relief was transformed into fear when on nearing,she did'nt find him in it. 'So? Would it have been safe if he had waited in the car?' teeth clattering due to cold,she chided herself.,as she shivered. It was evident that the car was broken. A little more excerising of her gray cells made her realize that she was near Ghoom. Going by her instinct, she guessed that Arnav might have taken shelter there. It was just a matter of time when she would be able to get to him after searching a bit. And hence turning the handle bar, she drove wobbily onto the muddy path, towards the first few visible houses.
**
Rising from the cot, he moved towards the door after he heard someone impatiently knocking it. Thinking it to be the locals who must have returned with clothes, he opened it and caught his breath as he saw her. Second time in a day,stunned to say the least as his eyes widened and mouth slightly parted.
Dripping wet from head to toe,clothes stuck to her like a second skin, lower lip trembled rapidly as she kept shivering. A little twirl of her locks stuck on her cheek, a loop here on her neck, there on her collar bone. The wheatish of her skin glistened with moisture. Fingers of both her hands interwined with each other as she rested them against her stomach. Wide eyes and relief etched on her face, she gazed back at him.
'' Khushi?''
It was then he noticed the man behind her with an umbrella in one hand and some clothes in the other who informed, " Memsaab aapko dhoond rahin thin.''
**
As the door closed behind them, they took each other in through their eyes. Coming out of his reverie , Arnav found his anger rising at adventure in the rain.
'' What has gotten into you Khushi? Could'nt you have waited for me to get back or called me instead? What if something had happened.?!''
'' But it did'nt. Because I had to reach you. And even you came out in such a weather.''
'' I had a car,damn it. And look at you. Why Khushi?''
'' You already know.''
'' But you don't know anything.''
'' I don't want to. And if there is anything that has to be known then tell me all those time spent together meant nothing. That when we kissed meant nothing. That I mean nothing.''
He kept his gaze locked with her as he did'nt say anything in return and saw her tread towards him. Inches apart, she moved her hands towards the hem of his pullover and as he realised what she was about to do, she held it and said, " You need to change.''
She rose the clothing upto his chest when he stopped her with his hands on hers and shook his head slowly. Not removing her gaze from his eyes,she drew away his hands and proceeded to take off the woollen. She moved behind him as he rose his hands up trying to remove it from over his head and slided it out of his arms. He waited for any gasp of surprise or dissapproval as his deformity lay almost bare to her from under his vest. He moved his hand towards back and caught her wrist. Pulling her in front, he searched her face for any signs of pity but she continued to look at him as she always had. Not able to restrict himself further, he questioned softly, '' How can you overlook it? ''
'' I am not. Why should I? Where would be the truth in it if I dont accept it? It is a part of you. And I want the whole of you. As you are.''
Feeling his throat choked with emotions, he voiced out,
'' Don't do this to me.''
'' Why not?''
'' Kyuki mujhe tumse pyaar ho jaega." +
Their breathing quickened as a smile tried to bloom on Khushi s' lips while she asked,'' Whats the problem in that?''
'' You speak just too much.'' Arnav replied as he pushed her towards the wall alongwith himself walking forward. Holding her by putting his arms behind her back so that she does'nt hit the wall, resting their weights against it he took her lips in his own and drank her in. Capturing her tongue,he sucked on and left it in a moment to again devour her mouth hungrily,enough for Khushi to loose all her senses and match him in it. Parting away to catch their breath, he knew what he should have realized much earlier.
There was no running away. He would'nt. This warmth and fuzziness that even tea could'nt get. But it was all it took to reach here and he could'nt be more thankful for it. He smiled at her and reached out to kiss her again as Khushi s' last coherent thought was that she loved these Darjeeling oolong orbs.
~The beginning~
***********
+ ( Dialogue copied/stolen from yet to be released 'Yeh jawani, hai deewani.' 😛
A/N-
Over...😭
I cant thank you all enough for such love towards this story. Thank you to every reader for staying until here with me. Trust me, as much as I wanted, I did'nt feel that it could be elaborated further. This is the best to my ability. I really hope you all like the last chapter.
Also I could'nt have even thought of writing stories if it would'nt have been for those first batch of my pm list who were all active into writing wonderfully, whom I had been following since long on IF/Blogs, w hom I had pm'ed without any preamble and were kind enough to read my very first os. Meera (Meera30) , Ananya (Anarocksick),Jenny ( IPK007) , Vats (Anony_mous) and Saiyeda (Rasgulla_sp)..
Tha🤗nk you..
Edited by Anupama. - 12 years ago
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Anupamaa
CID
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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